PollyPeoria

The Sexist Democrats and their Idiotic Choice for Vice President

2008-10-01T07:08:00.002-05:00

Joe Biden is an idiot. Seriously. Biden makes Quayle look like a Rhodes Scholar. Why are liberals so busy nitpicking Palin while their own choice for Vice President gets a pass for huge knowledge blunders? My guess is they are either sexist and/or bitter that Palin has taken the wind out of Obama's sails.

Whether or not you actually saw them, you have likely heard the non-stop criticism following Palin's interviews with Charlie Gibson and Katie Couric. It's all hot air of course, there were no huge blunders in either interview. All the criticism, from CNN to Saturday Night Live, is focused on Palin's style, accent, and appearance. What is lacking is commentary on the substance of her replies. Tina Fey's impression of Palin is brilliant. However, certainly even Fey would concede that a healthy economy does, in fact, depend on job creation and reigning in spending.

Why did SNL forgo the opportunity to focus on the stupidity of Biden, who lacks a basic command of U.S. history? In case you missed it, Katie Couric asked about the planned $700 billion bailout of Wall Street. Biden responded by showing off his knowledge of economics and The Great Depression.

"When the stock market crashed, Franklin Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the princes of greed," Biden told Couric. "He said, 'Look, here's what happened.'"

The problem? FDR wasn't the president at the time and television had not yet been invented. Biden's interview would have made for a brilliant SNL skit, and should have been the focus of the press, but apparently Biden gets a pass for this blunder because he was focused on criticizing a commercial made by his own campaign. A commercial, by the way, that Biden had never bothered to watch. Biden has a long history of putting his foot in his mouth during his insufferable lengthy plagiarized speeches, and yet he and his hair plugs get a pass from media scrutiny. If Palin's nose is too shiny we are going to hear about it.

Have no doubt, women can most certainly be sexist. Especially if they are Democrats and/or are employed by media outlets.

Oh Brother Can You Spare a Dime....

2008-09-20T11:59:00.004-05:00

Or better yet 700 billion dollars? On my way to work Wednesday morning a 20 billion dollar bailout was being considered. As my lunch hour rolled around, NPR was talking 40 billion. During my commute home it was up to 60 billion. Friday it was up to 85 billion. This fine Saturday morning we are now up to a $700 BILLION bailout. Jeeze. Who is coming up with these numbers? It doesn't matter. I just balanced my checkbook. I ain't got it.

$700 BILLION?! Hell, why not just provide winning lotto numbers, pixie dust, a pony, and a rainbow to every American citizen?

My grandfather, a Great Depression survivor, keeps a lockbox of cash and gold coins underneath his bed and a loaded hand gun in his nightstand drawer. I've always thought it a quaint, naive, sad, and paranoid practice. After watching Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch, and industry giant AIG either bite the dust or require government intervention in order to avoid doing so, Grandpa's lockbox is looking like the most sound financial policy of them all. The beauty is in it's simplicity and the fact that Grandpa's plan is rooted in the rarest of all commodities: COMMON FRIGGIN' SENSE.

I'm disappointed that McCain's answer is more and bigger government. The financial market is collapsing. The answer? Another government agency. Not very Republican of McCain. Don't we have a few regulatory agencies that are suppose to be preventing this sort of massive downfall? SEC? FDIC? The Justice Department? On the other hand, Obama is far worse, his answer seems to be to completely take over and oversee the financial market. Might as well vote for Nader.

Huh. What everyone seems to agree upon is that this crisis was brought about by poor lending policies. Why not learn from our mistakes and apply minimal regulations at lower levels so that the whole thing doesn't super nova later down the line? Why not make a law stating that only X percent of a lending institution's loans can be high risk. Why not tell AIG that they can only insure only X percent of high loans? Why not tell loan officers that if they give loans to folks who have bad credit, no assets, and no job that they will be shot on site? Is anyone on Wall Street over the age of forty? Do any of them remember the savings and loan crisis of the 1980's?

Don't get me wrong, high risk mortgages have a place. People who scrap their way up from welfare to work, low income but responsible individuals starting a new business, bright students who come from poor households seeking a college education. As a taxpayer, these are high risk loans I'm willing to back.

I am not willing to subsidize some greedy fat cat who doesn't understand that a leveraged buyout is debt, pure and simple. I don't appreciate bailing out a company that was allow to grow so huge that as a society we cannot allow it to fail. Wall Street brats should understand capitalism. Seriously, if you graduate from Wharton Business school, shouldn't you know that as a player in the free market, failure is most certainly an option?

Future generations will likely be financing the biggest bailout since the Great Depression. Heads should roll. I look forward to seeing some indictments. In the meantime I'm off to Walmart to buy a lockbox and a gun.

Sarah Palin for Vice President. SWEEEEET!!!!

2008-08-29T09:52:00.004-05:00

Polly is a happy camper. Very, very, VERY happy. McCain's running mate is an Alaskan whistle blower with a history of taking on big oil. She is a mother of five with one child soon heading off to Iraq, as well as an infant with Downs Syndrome. "I know he has an extra chromosome, but he looks perfect to me." She is committed to pro life and gun rights. She appears scandal free. All of this and she is young (44) and not from D.C. Talk about a fantasy candidate.

Yes, I know that Biden has a son headed to Iraq as well. Biden's son serves as a military lawyer and not as likely to see action.

I know this is not the first time a woman has been on a ticket, but frankly, Mondale and Geraldine Ferrero never had a chance.

No matter what, we will either have a black president or a female vice president.

It's enough to make a girl start blogging again.

Happy 2008!!!

2008-01-02T02:08:00.000-06:00

I admit it. I've lost my taste for blogging. It was fun for a long time. I got a kick out of the comments, the mild publicity, the dim lime light. Eventually I came to the conclusion that there is no way to be anonymous and honest and write about the things I want to write about. Anyway, thanks for reading. I'm leaving Peoria Blogging to those who take it seriously and do it so much better than I ever could.

Yup. We have some crappy bridges of our own.

2007-08-03T23:57:00.000-05:00

Today CNN reported that it would cost $461 billion to make all of the nation's bridges structurally sound. Sounds like an impossible sum of money unless you believe the often quoted dollar cost of the Iraq War- a mere $1 billion per day. So, if we just commit to minding our own business and not pissing off the rest of the world for a mere two years, we will not only have "won" the war on terrorism but we can stop holding our breath every time we cross the Illinois River. It would seem Peoria County has a few problematic bridges of its own. It maybe awhile before I visit Bartonville again...

D = deficient

O = obsolete

Bridges are rated and given scores between 1 and 100. 1 is really, really, really bad and 100 is stellar. (Apparently we have no stellar bridges here in Peoria, but take heart. Chicago has a few that were given a score of 2.)

To see the full report, go here.

Status:DRating:16.0 Road: 74 Place:BARTONVILLE County: PEORIA Feature: KICKAPOO CREEK Location:.5 MI E OF MCKINLEY

Status:ORating:93.5Road:74 Place:CONGERVILLE County:PEORIA Feature:CONGERVILLE ROAD Location:3.85 MI E OF ILL 117

Status:O Rating:78.3 Road:74 Place:PEORIA County:PEORIA Feature:UP RR (175624A Location:.25 MI W OF PEORIA

Status:O Rating:66.2 Road:74 Place: PEORIA County:PEORIA Feature:UP RR (175624A) Location: .25 MI W PEORIA

Status:D Rating:67.2 Road: 24 Place:PEORIA County:PEORIA Feature: BN & CNW RR Location: W CL OF PEORIA

Status: D Rating:71.8 Road:317 Place:PEORIA County:PEORIA Feature:WAR MEMORIAL DR Location: US 150 INTERCHANGE

Status:O Rating:81.9 Road:317 Place:PEORIA County: PEORIA Feature/Location: I-74 US 150 INTERCHANGE

Status:O Rating:88.0 Road: 474 Place: PEORIA County: PEORIA Feature:KICKAPOO CR & RR TKS Location: .25 MI S OF US 24

Status:D Rating:40.9 Road: 6595 Place:PEORIA County: PEORIA Feature/Location:DRY RUN CREEK N OF RICHMOND ST

Status:O Rating:57.2 Road: 6593 Place:PEORIA County:PEORIA Feature/Location:R B GARRETT AVE SBI 8 OVER FIFTH AVE

Status:D Rating:39.4 Road:29 Place: PEORIA Feature: IL RIVER TRIBUTARY Location: .1 MI S MOSSVILLE RD

Status:D Rating: 77.2 Road:6578 Place:PEORIA Feature:UP RR & KICKAPOO CR SW EDGE PEORIA CL

Status:D Rating: 44.4 Road: 6659 Place: PEORIA Location: KICKAPOO CR SBI 8 AND CH 77

Status:D Rating: 54.2 Road: 74 County: PEORIA Feature:KICKAPOO CR TRIB Location:0.2MI W KOERNER RD

Philip Anderson, Peoria Heights Newest Loon

2007-07-12T04:58:00.000-05:00

Geeze. Finally, mercifully, we dispose of Matt Hale into the dank jail cell where he belongs, only to have a pathetic wannabe spring up. While doing yardwork, I discovered the July 4th edition of the Peoria Times-Observer, "North Peoria's Newsweekly." I receive this paper sporadically. My guess is that my house isn't always considered "North" enough to deem delivery. Too bad, because I enjoy reading Dewayne Bartels' articles. Hey, Dewayne, your fine paper lacks a decent website. The Observer is delivered to most regardless of whether or not the recipient is a paid subscriber, so why not carry the weekly editions on line as well?

I digress. In last Wednesday's edition, Dewayne introduced Peoria's newest certifiable wack job, Philip Anderson. Anderson is the Illinois Leader of some odd Nazi organization, "The American National Socialist Worker's Party." Quite a title, one which gives Americans, Socialists and anyone who works for a living a bad name.

Bartels is a reporter. A good reporter goes straight to the source. Bartels went to Anderson's home to request an interview. The response? Predictable. The moron threatened Bartels, his wife, children and grandchildren online, going so far as to post addresses and contact information, essentially inviting those as stupid as Anderson -but hopefully more violent- to cause injury or harm upon Bartels and/or his family. You see, Anderson doesn't have the chutzpah to respond to a request for an interview. So he asked a national nut job and Nazi mentor to respond for him, via Bill White's blog, Overthrow88.blogspot.com.

Overthrow88.blogspot.com is a prime example of why anyone wanting to own a gun should have to submit to an I.Q. test. Bill White is an example of yet another bitter moron with a tremendous chip on his shoulder. This guy blames the quest for racial equality for all that has gone awry in his pathetic excuse of a life. Anderson and White. In this case, likes attract.

White and his blog are laughable, or would be, except for the fact that in the past such publications have inspired violent wack jobs to maim people or worse.

Dewayne, my sympathies to you and your family. No one deserves this.

How To Tell When A Public Official is Lying

2007-07-03T10:33:00.000-05:00

Okay, yes, when their lips are moving. Specifically, when you read in your morning paper, "Officials said last month that the tax credit program is 'going well' without providing details," chances are excellent that your wallet has already been picked.

Peoria will have a museum, damn it, whether citizens are willing to pay for it or not. Don't want it, don't need it, won't use it, can't pay for it? Don't worry your pretty little head about it. That's just what taxes are for!

Museum pushers have been forced to temporarily fore go their demands for a reflecting pool and a planetarium that appears to be suspended in mid-air. Puhleeze, are they aiming for a museum or a second grader's science fair entry? Polly's prediction is that we will end up with some ugly monstrosity that looks appalling similar to the original plans, but due to unforeseen circumstances, a.k.a., lack of public interest and funds, runs over budget and will require a tax disguised as a garbage-gum-wrapper-and-snow-removal-library-book-cover-eyebrow-waxes-for-underprivileged-toddlers-fee.

They call it, "Plans for Museum Square" I call it, "Trailer Park at Night."

Just Another Day In Paradise

2007-06-30T23:31:00.000-05:00

Otherwise known as Peoria. The temperature is perfect, not too hot, not too cold. Apparently we paid our dues last winter. Have you checked out the sunsets the last couple of days? Wow! Hawaii doesn't have it any better. Believe it or not, no homicides this week.

So, the question is...

WHY IN HECK ARE YOU INSIDE READING THIS SILLY BLOG?!
This is where I'm eating dinner tonight. After all, Coney dogs have no fat or calories in paradise. Afterwards, I'm getting a vanilla cone dipped in chocolate. Ice cream has calcium. Come on down, I'm buying! We can all gaze across the street at the new Starbucks and the lovely strip mall, er, I mean "neighborhood center" that Bob Manning built. I take back all negative comments I made, back when homes were bought and demolished and more than a few neighbors were ticked. Polly predicted vacancies and blight on the neighborhood. Polly was wrong. The Neighborhood Center/Strip Mwall is the swankest thing the East Bluff has seen in ages. Even more amazing, the City didn't have to bribe anyone with a TIF!!!

Even When I Don't Know What I'm Talking About...

2007-06-08T21:22:00.000-05:00

I know what I'm talking about. I don't flatter myself that Jennifer Davis or Terri Bibo got the idea for today's front page article from my silly little post, but I am pleased to see the museum boondoggle come under fire.

Billy posts a rather cute picture of pigs at the trough, but I feel a bit more harsh. Checkout Big Yellow. My, she just gets bigger and greedier by the profitable quarter, doesn't she?

I have nothing against CAT wanting a feather to put in its cap, but I just think it should pay for its own feather. Asking employees and tax payers to pay for a CAT visitor's center is in poor taste, to say the least.

Hey, CAT! There are some companies that pay for educational museums which don't pay homage to the products they sell. Imagine that!

Try This One At Work Tomorrow

2007-06-06T21:01:00.000-05:00

I dare you. Go into work tomorrow and inform your boss that you will only showing up to the office twice a month.

After that, inform him or her that s/he will have to limit all criticisms, critiques, concerns to five minutes or less and only after s/he gives apt notice and fills in a card.

See if that doesn't get your ass fired.

Maybe the Peoria City Council doesn't realize who they work for.

I realize most members of the Council have day jobs, but they knew the workload and schedule before running. Cutting Council Meetings to twice a month makes local government less accessible, which is unforgivable. Accessibility has been City Council's best attribute. Unless subpoenaed to testify before a Senate Committee, it's pretty damn difficult for an average Joe to get the floor and the undivided attention of their elected officials. I know that Council meetings often run long. I know some citizens are poorly informed and are horrid public speakers. Then again, so are some council members. Citizens (a.k.a. employers) have the right to grandstand if they want to. Public servants (a.k.a. employees) don't.

My guess? Someone's day job (travel schedule) and/or wife, is making Council duties difficult.

There's No Point In Posting....

2007-06-05T12:02:00.000-05:00

Because I can't come close to this. The newbies haven't been around long enough be judged, but I like most members of the Peoria City Council. I do believe we are in better hands than we were Ran$burg Era.

There are some issues that could be handled, should be handled, and we were promised that they would be handled. We still have the stupid, unfair, garbage tax. Do businesses pay the garbage tax? Nope. Do they reap the benefits? Yep. Remember, the garbage fee has nothing to do with Waste Management, or, for that matter, garbage. It is a bogus fee/double tax (check out your property tax bill - you already pay a garbage fee) devised to fill holes in the City's budget. Many campaigned on the unfairness of this issue, but none have done anything to get rid of it.

Station 11 is a dead horse beaten beyond death. Or it would be, if it wasn't a life or death issue. Frankly, I'm sick of harping about it. Anyone should be able to see that taking vital rescue equipment out of service and disbursing the paltry few pieces left throughout the City is just stupid. When the disaster occurs we have only ourselves (and our elected officials) to blame. Grownups know that blame never brings anyone back from the dead.

Hey, Caterpillar! How is that Peoria Museum employee matching campaign coming along? Take the hint. Your employees don't give a rat's ass about a museum praising Big Yellow, the Illinois River, or the 1974 Manual High Debate Team. You want a visitor's center? Well, shut up, dip into some of your record profits, and build one already. Stop trying to present your very profitable corporation as a worthwhile charity. No one is biting.

Blah, blah, blah. There's more, but only the Anti-Pundit (aka Emtromics) still has his humor intact. Hat tip.

Gary Sandberg: Suave. Rico. Really?

2007-05-24T15:54:00.000-05:00

Monday's Word on the Street column reported that Gary Sandberg is not speaking to the Journal Star these days because of an article written shortly before the election that criticized his appearance. If true, I got to say, I'm shocked. Since when does Gary care about his appearance, what people think of it, and especially what the Journal Star thinks about Gary, or his appearance or, for that matter, what the Journal Star -especially the editorial staff- thinks about anything?! This is Sandberg after all, a man who once told me he doesn't have any mirrors in his house. This is Sandberg, who can count on both the JP Star not endorsing him and the voters overwhelming voting him in first.

Gary is a bachelor. To me, he strikes me as the type who really doesn't give a rats ass about appearance because there are far more interesting things in the world (Harleys!) to think about and issues to address (Crime, Fire Station 11, taxes, recycling) than which side his hair should be parted on, or the alpha hydroxy content of his facial moisturizer. He doesn't have a wife pleading that he not go out in public without a shave, wearing plaid with polka dots, or with spinach in his teeth. Say what you will about him, one would not think to call Gary Sandberg vain. Thankfully, Gary is not a pretty boy politician with the poor sense to pay $400 bucks for a haircut. Now Gary would gladly allow his head to be shaved, by an ex-wife no less, in order to raise money to benefit a cancer patient, and has. Gary is a man's man. He doesn't care about his looks unless there's a special occasion that demands it. You know, a job interview, a friend's wedding, hot date, a campaign photo.

Or so I thought. How Gary's feelings could be hurt by what anyone says about his appearance, let alone the Journal Star, is dumbfounding. Now that I think about it, this isn't the first time Sandberg has refused comment to the Journal Star because it made a jab about his looks. Years ago the Journal Star ran a crummy photo of Gary in a bright orange sweater that, at first glance, looked like a jailhouse jumpsuit. Gary didn't speak to any Journal Star reporter for a loooooong time after that one.

Sandberg's sensitivity is not just odd, but also inappropriate. Part of one's job as a Councilperson is to maintain a dialect with the public, and the press is one means of doing so. In fact, the press is the primary means of doing so. By denying comment to a newspaper with the widest circulation (even if said newspaper's lack of professionalism and honesty leaves a lot to be desired) Sandberg is denying his view and thought process to many voters who hired him.

More troubling is Gary's lack of trust in the readers/voters who returned him to office- again, and again, and again. Gary, buddy, we know Mike Bailey and Company are going to make fun and unduly criticize you whenever the opportunity presents itself. We know who's corner the PJ Star is in. We know where their bread is buttered. We know where they dine, or would like to anyway- (Peoria Country Club). Frankly, we know the editorial bozos at the PJ Star can't be trusted and so we figure, in part, the less they like you and the more mean and petty they are, well, the better job you must be doing.

From the April 9th Journal Star:

You know it's election time when....

Gary Sandberg gets a haircut and dons a bow tie. We've been through a number of elections with the senior member of the Peoria City Council, and have come to note the sometimes stark differences between Campaign Gary and Regular Gary, partly evidenced in these two photos.

Both Garys are knowledgeable. Campaign Gary can be quite charming out on the stump, which history suggests has had an appeal to local voters. Unfortunately, soon as the votes are counted, he has always metamorphosed back into Regular Gary, with a tendency to be considerably less charming around the horseshoe, particularly to those who don't quite see the world his way.

We prefer Campaign Gary. Sorry, couldn't resist the comparison.

Oh yeah? Well, I like Campaign Gary, but I adore Regular Gary. The Gary who says it as he sees it without any of the excessive softening adjectives that campaigning requires. I like the Regular Humorous Gary who brought a sleeping bag to Council the night they voted on whether or not to buy the water company, knowing they might debate the issue all night. I like the Regular Gary who lined his desk with a collection of firework debris after troubling July 4th celebrations in his neighborhood. I like the considerate Regular Gary who brought the Mayor a cupcake on his birthday. I even like the Regular Gary who gets angry- really, really angry when he believes his colleagues are not acting in the citizens best interests. I like the Regular Gary who does his homework and cares about constituents.

I don't agree with everything Sandberg says, does, or how he votes. I simply realize that the world has way too many politicians who always look their absolute best while their performance is the absolute worst. How refreshing -and lucky- Peoria is to have a public servant who albeit may forget to shave, can be counted on to show up educated, informed, and well prepared to serve the public.

Mr. Pot, Allow Me to Introduce You to Mr. Kettle

2007-05-21T18:13:00.000-05:00

Like most, I think Jimmy Carter is a good man, but he was an AWFUL president. An opinion shared by the just about the entire nation at the time. I can't recall a more humiliating defeat than the Carter vs. Regan election. I'm not a huge fan of President Bush, but Carter has no right to throw stones.

Anyone remember the energy crisis? Waiting in line for gas? Double digit unemployment rates? Inflation that wouldn't stop? As far as crappy foreign policy goes, how about the Iranian Hostage Crisis?! Could that have been handled any worse? Anyone else remember the bungled rescued attempt? Remember the bodies of deceased American military personnel torn and burned by maniacs in Tehran? The 444 days of agonizing hell when America sat on its hands and did nothing while her citizens suffered abroad?

No doubt this administration has its flaws. Big time. However, Carter criticizing Bush is akin to George Ryan calling Blago a liar.

Meet Michael Little

2007-05-08T21:12:00.000-05:00

This is the thug-loser-low-life-piece-of-scum-smelly-feces-rotting-on-the-sole-of society's-shoe-too-stupid-to-blow/pick-his-own-nose who assaulted Third District Councilman Bob Manning after his car was struck by a child on a bicycle. Manning, responsible and a gentleman to the core, stopped, offered aide, called the police on his cell phone, and attempted to explain to Little that he wasn't out cruising trying to hit kids darting out on bikes from behind parked cars. Little didn't want to strain his allegedly small brain in order to comprehend the situation. Little also didn't want to help or comfort the child. Instead, Little slugged Manning in the face, fracturing his eye socket in several places. Having made a contribution, Little then took off with his allegedly tiny, tiny, tail between his legs.

We should forgive Little. Little isn't just his last name. It is who he is. Word in the 'hood is that Little not only has abnormally small genitals but has an even smaller brain. This would give just about any man a big chip on his shoulder. When police caught up with Little, (which didn't take very long or effort as the stupid are easy to find) they found an open bottle of booze in his car and and a revoked license in his otherwise empty wallet. Little's excuse for assaulting Manning? He thought Manning was going to flee. If broken bones and surgery were not involved, Little's excuse would be pretty damn funny. The only person who fled was Little himself. Let us pray that States Attorney Catch and Release Kevin Lyons attempts to put this dangerous twit -with a history of violence- behind bars for more than a day or two. I know... I know... don't hold your breath.

Bob, I hope that cute baby blue heals quickly and that this awful episode doesn't put a damper in your desire to help the Third District and Peoria. Obviously, we need you.

Separated at Birth???

2007-05-02T04:17:00.001-05:00

Gary Sandberg

and...

Fred Sanford?!?!?

Okay, the mess at Sanford's, er, I mean, Sandberg's place occurred years ago. The junk couldn't be seen from the street. There were clearly renovations under way. (Check out the scaffolding!) Nonetheless, that mess is/was inexcusable. I don't believe all that crap was due to renovations and even if true, a dumpster should have been used, or, if that wasn't possible, the rubble should have been disposed regularly, in a timely fashion, and not been allowed to build up to that degree.

Gary, pay the $110 fine, you... you... you...

YOU BIG DUMMY!!!

Hat tip to and (most pics pilfered from) Peoria Pundit.

Golly! Polly sure is flattered!

2007-05-02T03:31:00.000-05:00

Guess what Billy said about little ole me? Yup. I am River City's most mysterious blogger. That does it, I'm never coming out.

Flattery will get you everywhere Billy. Oh, get your mind out the gutter. What I mean is I'm not going to give you a big heaping helping of crap for playing with your thingy yet again. Actually, I admit, the latest format of Peoria Pundits is lovely. Like it a lot.

I'm worried about Bill because he is "twittering" these days. Didn't know about twitter until NPR enlightened me today. We can now get constant updates as to everything Bill is doing, every minute of the day. Well, as much as he cares to share. And you thought blogging was scary/risky. Twittering threatens to be the ultimate sledgehammer levied at the already crumbling wall of manners and privacy left in America. Twitter all about Council if you want, Bill, but for God sakes don't fall into the trap of feeling you are duty bound to inform us as to what you are planning to consume for lunch, or if you are regular these days.

What the hell is Gary Sandberg thinking? Why would he allow his property to have a junk heap very worthy of a ticket? Anyone remember when Clyde had these problems a few years back? Hey! Gary! You are supposed to be a LEADER. That means, in part, that you should be someone that normal citizens would want to live next to. Your property should be damn near ideal, which means it should not have a the beginnings of a landfill in the side yard. Sandberg should put a "Sanford and Sons" sign on the front of his place if he plans to turn his place into a junk yard. I love Gary, I do. But on this one he is dead wrong. Pay the fine, clean up the rubble, and don't disgrace yourself and/or those of us who voted for you in the future. Jeeze, what is with politicians these days? Well, at least we can rest easy that we won't find Gary paying for a $400 haircut any time soon.

Bill, I would have invited you back for a pillow fight and Chinese food, but no decent Chinese restaurant delivers in Peoria and you picked a rather hideous pic of Scarlett to post. Okay, her bust is looking perky, but what the hell is going on with the hair? Bad. Really Bad. Looks like she cut it with something rusty from Sandberg's pathetic pile of waste.

Whether You Know It Or Not, There's a Huge Blogger Bash Tomorrow...

2007-04-30T14:51:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is a big day at City Hall. The new kids get sworn in and the old get the boot. We say good bye and to Grayeb and (finally!) Morris. I think Morris is a good guy, I don't agree with most of his votes, but I don't think he is Satan either. However, somewhere along the long the line someone told John he was a good public speaker. He isn't. It has been painful.

Anyone want to place bets on how LOOONG Morris' goodbye speech will be? How about how many adjectives Grayeb will fit into his fine farewell? I'll miss Grayeb. I guess I've agreed with his votes about 50% of the time. His speeches were also a bit long winded, but they tended to have more thought behind them. Grayeb's speeches always included the added benefit of having a new word or two added to my vocabulary. I bet Grayeb had some kick ass scores on the verbal section of the SATs.

Who will Gary harass now that John-John is gone? Anyone know the new seating chart? I always wanted to put a hidden mic by Sandberg and Morris. These guys sparred more than anyone during Council debates, they would seem to have very little in common. In fact there were a few occasions I thought for sure Gary would blow and take a swing at John. Nope. Rather, in between votes these two chat and laugh like school girls. What are they talking about?!

I'm going to the swearing in ceremony because afterwards they have free food. Last time they had chocolate covered strawberries. Our tax dollars (I presume) hard at work!

Will the Wonders Ever Cease?

2007-04-30T14:23:00.000-05:00

I like to read Leonard Pitt's columns to remind myself why I remain a registered Republican. Ah, but what a wonderful breath of fresh air when the liberals start making sense and embrace conservatism better than any of the proclaimed conservatives.

In regard to the Imus "Nappy Headed Ho" comment/firing-

"...Imus was undone not by government censors, but by market forces. The moral of this story, then, is not that free speech is under siege."

This and it's 80 something degrees in Peoria?! Life is good again.

At Last, Election Results That Don't Make Me Want To Puke.

2007-04-18T20:36:00.000-05:00

I didn't think it possible. I haven't been spouting off (much) about the elections because I had all but given up hope that registered voters would show up, use commonsense, and vote accordingly.

Peoria's libraries are pathetic. An embarrassment. Peoria claims that it wants to attract residents and businesses grounded in a knowledge economy. That is, our fair city is looking to attract intellectuals. More than free city wide wi-fi or a swank civic center with a five star hotel attached, or a silly Podunk museum housing some trophy from the 1974 boys high school debate championship, intellectuals value modern libraries with up to date facilities. Libraries are not frivolous aromatherapy outlets. They are valuable public institutions which strive to inform and educate the electorate. God bless voters for willing to invest their dime for something so worthwhile. My advice before building. Take a look at the Libraries in Evanston and Oak Park outside Chicago. A half hour in either building will convince the biggest skeptic how valuable an exceptional library can be to a community. I love hanging out at the Evanston's library whenever I happen to be in town. Each time I'm in town I'm amazed that one establishment consistently hosts all different types of people, from opposite socioeconomic spheres and age brackets, so well. Seniors reading the paper, high school students doing research, moms and babes in for story hour, yuppies on their lunch break reading the Wall Street Journal. It's a intellectual and productive community center. The main library in downtown Peoria is depressing as hell. You can get whatever you need, but it isn't much fun to hang out there. Lakeview Library has more of a community feel, but it is too small for the amount of people who use it. Resources are too few for the many that require them. Getting a computer at Lakeview is a challenge prefaced by a significant wait time. Kids can't enjoy a story hour without disturbing others who are working on the other side of the facility. It's time to pay and update. Libraries are one of the few things I'm willing to plunk down a few more tax dollars for.

Smoking is bad. We all know it. Your rights end where the other guy's begin. It is impossible to smoke in a public place and not jepordize someone else's health. Smoking is not a constitutionally protected act. Bar and restaurant owners don't refund money when a good meal or drink is ruined by a stinky cigarette. Moreover, the Health Department regulates and fines restaurants and bars for any violation which could jepordize the health of customers. Smoking certainly qualifies.

Gary Sandberg, George Jacob, and Eric Turner retained their seats on the City Council. Chuck Grayeb and -even better- JOHN MORRIS ARE GONE!!! GONE!!! GONE!!! Gale Thetford failed miserably at her attempt to replace him. Anyone think she took the hint thistime?

I was saddened to see Alicia Butler lose her seat on the School Board. I thought she had, for the most part, been an effective Board President. I didn't like the very stupid, very expensive, District 150 "apple" billboards purchased a few years back. I thought Butler did an admirable job at attempting to correct and involve the public after the initial Glen Oak Park School proposal/fiasco. The relevation that Butler apparently failed to earn the two diplomas she claimed dumbfounded me. I have had several conversations with Butler. I've listened to her at School Board meetings. Butler is very intelligent and could have earned two or more degrees from Bradley -or Harvard- for that matter.

Why she felt the need to lie -twice- is beyond me. I would have bought an "I thought I was a graduate" excuse if she had only lied about her undergraduate degree. My alma mater told me they would not provide me with a diploma unless and until I paid numerous parking tickets they claimed I had acquired. I was never blessed with a car during college (and I dispise you if you were) making parking tickets an impossibilty. I protested. They didn't care. I didn't pay and went to Europe instead of graduation. I framed my transcripts instead. A college degree isn't a requirement to serve on the School Board. Peorians respect commonsense and a tight wallet more than a piece of paper. Why would any Peorian lie about graduating from Bradley, twice?! That is, if you're gonna lie, make it a NON local school. Why not the Sorbonne? Cambridge? Oxford? London School of Economics? Hell, even U of I would have been a better choice. You know, a school whose Director of Alumni of Affairs and Registar don't live across the street. Do not say you graduated from a school where a third of the town was likely to have attended your supposed graduation. I was saddened by the voters decision to fire Butler, but I understand it.

On the whole it was a good night. I have hope. People who want what is best for their community and not just their names on as many plaques as possible before dying are running -and winning- for local government. Refreshing, eh?

Meet Rutger's Women's Basketball Team...

2007-04-18T12:05:00.000-05:00

Before last week I didn't know who Imus was. I don't care for talk radio. Too many egos that are even bigger than mine. Rather listen to tunes. I didn't find Imus' comment racist as much as it was sexist. I'm Caucasian and I've referred to my own hair as nappy at times. To me, "nappy" refers to hair that is frizzy, tangled, knotted, etc. Women of all races have been called whores, justified or not, since Eve left the Garden of Eden.

My guess is that Imus was dismayed by women who were too busy playing basketball to concern themselves with being beautiful for the duration of the game. Imus, on the other hand, is both nappy and really ugly ALL THE TIME. He might be a "Ho" too, but I don't know enough about him to judge.

Another Day In America. Another McMassacre.

2007-04-18T07:24:00.000-05:00

Saddened? Yes. Very. Shocked? No. Not really.

I apologize in advance if this post strikes anyone as unfeeling or calloused. That isn't my intent. Please forgive me. The shooting/execution of so many little innocent girls in an Amish schoolhouse was the final straw. After that, and the lack of action that followed, I am no longer shocked by mass shootings committed by previously law abiding mentally ill individuals. If little Amish girls aren't safe from society's gun toting sickos, then of course students at Virgina Tech -and everywhere else- are subject to the same fate.

Are your kids safe at Charter Oak? Kellar? Mark Bills? Lindberg? Richwoods? I mention these schools because they strike me as socioeconomically similar to Columbine. No. Of course not. Our children are at risk at any American school, residence, or institution, public or private. Your spouse could be mowed down at his/her place of employment by numerous bitter, angry, present or former employees. I understand that Caterpillar has more than a few that qualify.

Our is a free and open society. Our society is fast paced. Our society is one with high expectations. Most Americans feel entitled to a certain standard of living (one that is much higher than 99% of the world's nations), along with good affordable health care, cheap gas, and a girlfriend. We are also wound tight but have yet to find a way to identify, educate, let alone treat those who can't keep up and deal with disappointment and envy. We have, however, found a way (and will continue to, dammit) to allow each and every last bitter-lonely-jealous-chip-on-the-shoulder-disaffected-violent-obsessed-may-or-may-not-be-hearing-voices American citizen/or anyone one with a green card to legally arm themselves to the teeth.

Considering America's absolute devotion to the right to bear arms regardless of the consequences or cost, it strikes me as weird that there isn't a single normal citizen -or five- with a legally obtained firearm at the ready to take one of these crazies out when they crack and decide to spray the world with bullets. Nope. Not in California, or Colorado, or Virgina. Remember Luby's Cafeteria shooting in 1991? In retrospect, it is astonishing that there wasn't one legally armed citizen in Killeen, Texas that could put down his/her Jello in order to return fire. Nope. Not one sane NRA card carrying gun toting member among the 24 dead.

The first mass shooting that I can personally recall was in 1984 at a McDonald's in San Diego/San Ysidro. Odd that we have had so many of these tragedies that no one even mentions any more. Since Monday's McMassacre, I've read that the Luby's tragedy was the worst shooting, but I thought the San Ysidro shooting had more fatalities. I've found conflicting reports/body totals on the web. Yup. McMassacres are so commonplace in this country that we can't keep a correct tally/record of which one deserves the title of most horrific.

These days a pissed off employee going on a shooting spree barely warrants a paragraph in the newspaper. We've had so many school shootings that no one feigns surprise when they hear of another one. In fact, we are to the point that we now congratulate ourselves that there are no whiny cries for gun control following a McMassacre.

Is there anything more pathetic than a society that routinely allows the slaughter of their young? Have no doubt. Shootings are routine. Proof positive? We all know it can happen again. Deep down, we all know it will. We simply pray it won't be at our kid's school, or at our workplace. Not at our shopping mall. Or post office. Or lawyer's office. Or restaurant. Even churches in America have been scarred by McMassacres. If this makes you want to stay home, reconsider. You are more likely to be shot by the nut you married within the pleasant Pottery Barned confines of your own home.

Please, God, don't let any of the numerous bitter and insane folk I cross paths with each and every day or those I happen to be related to have a gun. Or, at least, since it is likely that s/he will have access to a gun with rapid fire ability, please don't give them good aim. The only protection we can offer is to advise taking Jesus as your savior. Gosh, I sure hope Christianity got it right. At this rate, it is likely that many among us will need to collect on that eternal life clause long before we are old and gray.

Due to the frequency at which these shootings occur, now the only way to get our attention is with numerous fatalities. Running through an airport to by-pass security garners more attention than the average shooting. Oh, yes. There is most certainly such a thing as an "average" shooting. Unless it involves the Amish or perhaps a convent, most Americans will only recall those shootings where the dead and critically wounded number in the double digits, and only those that occur in the last decade.

Shut down an airport? There's an inconvenience for you. Want to get our attention? Do something that cancels flights and causes traffic jams. It really pisses me off when I'm late for my Pilate's class. Shootings? Well, like obesity and drunk driving, shootings are just another one of America's pesky flaws. It's a sad routine. We ain't perfect, but we are free (except when ducking gun fire).

32 dead at one of America's finer institutions of higher learning. Professors and students with a lot of hard work behind them and so many bright futures ahead of them gone in an instant. Yet, we continue to learn nothing.

Yet Another Reason To Remain Anonymous

2007-03-26T22:25:00.000-05:00

She really was pretty and fresh once. Sort of looks like Reese Witherspoon. Sad ending to a sad life.

I swore I wouldn't blog about her, but someone must speak up against this gross injustice. No, not secret prisions abroad. Anna Nicole Smith's autopsy is available for public viewing. I never realized that one's body after death had absolutely no right to privacy. Smith's family need not worry about grave robbers. What would be the motive? Every sick curiosity is readily answered and available on-line. Anna's tattoos are well described, as is the pus on her buttocks ("green and creamy"), the fact that her anus was "unremarkable" (thank goodness), and her vagina had a typical amount of wrinkling (HUH?!). What a relief to know one part of Anna's poor, abused body remained injection and silicone free. Actually, it isn't any of my freakin' business and a rather horrible invasion/perversion of privacy.

Why not have the Coroner publicly state the official cause of death only? Perhaps there is a justification to release the toxicology report. Non pertinent details should be sealed. Does the public have any real need to know, exactly, the length and depth of scarring involved with repeated breast augmentation? (Anna's left nipple did not fare as well as her right.)

Perhaps the greatest invasion of privacy? This pathetic woman's WEIGHT (178 pounds) was also reported. Those were the horrified gasps of my eight female readers you just heard. Wrinkled genitalia and unremarkable orifices, that's bad enough... but publishing her weight?! Unforgivable! Anna Nicole Smith will never be able to rest in peace now. BTW, Slim Fast, not TrimSpa, was found by Smith's bedside. There's a craptastic last meal for you.

I wonder if there are any more interesting autopsy reports available on line. River Phoenix? Colbain? JFK? Elvis? Wonder what parts of their bodies were "unremarkable" or suffered the normal amount of wrinkling. I could be up all night.

Polly wishes to be cremated immediately following her death, thanks.

Oh Goodie Gumdrops!!!

2007-03-01T09:17:00.000-06:00

Peoria's latest folly is ready for tours. Kind of. I'm leaving now to be the first in line. Not.

Lets Demolish The School Board Instead

2007-03-01T08:20:00.000-06:00

I almost, but not quite, feel badly for the District 150 School Board. They keep on having to pay penalties for one really bad mistake over and over again. The Board failed to inform the public before going forward with their plans to erect a school in Glen Oak Park. Polly is part of an itty bitty minority who thinks a school in that decaying locale was a good idea, but I recoginize The Board's decision to act on the sly and not even attempt to get the public's blessing was stupid, arrogant, and unforgivable.

As usual, it isn't the players who pay, but the tax payers. The proposed school is a dead deal, at least at that locale. So what to do with the $877,500 worth of property The Board purchased and can't use? Pay fines of course! Better yet, spend a lot more money they don't have and tear the sucker down! One of the now vacant homes owned by District 150 has code violations. The house needs a new roof and the garage needs new paint.

The School Board still hasn't learned its lesson. Apparently they hold out hope that they will get their school just the way they want it, where they want it... in the park. How can we tell? Instead of making the necessary repairs and selling off the properties, it appears that The Board is going to pay for demolition instead.

What's that cliche again? Something like, "Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. AND THOSE THAT LEAD NEVER FRIGGIN' LEARN"

Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers?

2007-03-01T07:56:00.000-06:00

So, if you come across $700 cash in -say- a public restroom on your lunch hour, are you obligated to turn it in or attempt to find the owner? What if you actually watch the person forget to pick up their wad of cash before exiting? Certainly the classy, most honest thing to do would be to turn it in, or try to find the owner, or remind the absentminded doof to take his/her money. However, the question is: Are you legally obligated to do so?

In this case it wasn't $700 cash, but a $700 voucher left behind in a slot machine at a casino. The voucher was discovered by an off duty cop, who apparently decided that it was his lucky day and turned in the voucher as his own for cash.

The original winner came back to the slot machine and alerted casino employees that someone had taken his voucher. Employees took the time and trouble to look at security video and confronted the cop. The Cop admitted no wrong doing, but did pay the original winner $700.

So, did the Cop do anything wrong? Clearly, he wasn't as upstanding a citizen as he could of been, but did he steal? I don't think so. It may be reasonable to expect police to behave as model citizens, in which case maybe they shouldn't be in a casino in the first place, but finding something isn't the same as stealing. Especially since the voucher, unlike a piece of jewelry for example, had no identifying markers to prove who owned it.

I don't think the Cop did anything illegal, so why is he on administrative leave? For not being a hero? The guy was at at casino, not church. Luciano's language, that the cop "took" another gamblers winnings, is harsh, especially when considering impressive nature of this particular cop's record.

Ask yourself honestly, in a casino environment, where everyone is trying to win something for nothing, what would you do?

Did You Vote YET?!

2007-02-27T16:56:00.000-06:00

This is the face that brought you the garbage tax, endangered lives by cutting Fire Station 11, and rarely saw a tax she didn't like. Voters in Third District got sick of her, and overwhelming voted to toss Thetford to the curb a couple of years ago. Gale Thetford wants her job back, Gawd help us.

If you havent voted, get off your butt and get to the polls. You have two hours. If you choose to stay at home in your warm barcolounger and watch a re-run of Seinfeld, it will be all your fault when our taxes go up, the garbage fee sky rockets, your backyard is taken over by trains, trail, and a trolley, City Council meetings run past midnight and we have to endure painful, long winded speeches again, all starting with, "UHM..."

Council is on the right track. Things are better since Ran$burg and his klan were bootkicked to the curb. Yes, we all wish politicans would move at a faster pace and accomplish what they promised when they campaigned for the job. That said...

For heavensakes, lets not let the greedy slime back in just cause we're cold, tired, and a bit lazy.

Your Future Is Here. Required Reading For All Peorians. The Wall Street Journal: Global Trade Galvanizes Caterpillar

2007-02-27T11:43:00.000-06:00

As promised, here is the whole article. I hope my thirteen readers appreciate this. I couldn't find this on the net, and my scanner doesn't work well on newsprint so Polly has to type this whole interview. I type, like, four words a minute, so blame all typos on greedy WSJ publishers who don't like to share.

Global Trade Galvanizes Caterpillar
Maker of Heavy Equipment Thrives Under CEO Owens, Fervent Free-Trade Advocate
From The Wall Street Journal, Marketplace Section, Page B1
Monday, February 26, 2007

Written By: Ilan Brat and Bryan Gruley (NOT POLLY)

Since becoming Chairman and chief executive of Caterpillar Inc. three years ago, Jim Owens has seen the Peoria, Ill., maker of heavy equipment nearly double in size-to $41.5 billion in revenue last year- as it rode a global boon in construction and mining.

The growth had its pains, as Caterpillar struggled with production bottlenecks, lengthy delivery times and capacity-expansion missteps that occasionally disappointed Wall Street. Now Mr. Owens, 61 years old, says he is more concerned with fattening the company's bottom line by making manufacturing more efficient, slimming dealer inventories and continuing to press for free trade.

The Ph.D. from North Carolina State University, who joined Caterpillar 30 years ago as an economist, oversees a global behemoth of 278 factories and 94,000 employees. In Naples, Fla., attending a recent meeting of the Business Council, Mr. Owens discussed world class manufacturing, free trade, Sen. Barack Obama, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke and the NCAA basketball tournament.

Excerpts:

WSJ: Caterpillar just announced a $7.5 billion share buyback. Why?

Mr. Owens: Sitting on a big wad of cash doesn't make any sense whatsoever for shareholders. It also tends to promote bad practice among management. Almost all good companies make their worst mistakes in the best of times. That's when you get into overreaching. You've got more [cash] than you know what to do with, and you think you're so damned good you can buy anything and make it better.

WSJ: How is it that Cat added nearly $20 billion in revenue in the last three years?

Mr. Owens: We've done it on the strength of the global economy. In 1998 through 2002, we experienced a prolonged recession in our key markets. In the 2004-through 2006 period, the global economy experienced its best three years of growth since World War II. That drove strong commodity price, and the combination of [those and] the strong economy led to a significant increase in investment for natural-resource development and global infrastructure. When this surge in demand started in 2004, we were well-positioned in terms of market leadership and some excess capacity to realize significant organic growth in a very short period of time.

WSJ: Looks like you're going to easily hit your goal of $50 billion plus in annual revenue by 2010. Is it time to set the bar higher?

Mr. Owens: What we're really about in this near term is just a relentless focus on execution. We're very focused on introducing a Caterpillar production system that's universal across all of our manufacturing operations world-wide. We've had a propensity to do things at least slightly differently all over the world. We've bench marked many different industries and then our own best-in-class facilities and created our own recipe book. Whether our top-line sales are $45 billion or $60 billion is going to be a lot less important than pulling off that operational excellence. The Holy Grail is not top line sales growth; it's bottom line [profit] growth.

WSJ: Are you concerned about the new political climate for the trade in Washington?

Mr. Owens: I have been very worried about a turn inward, a feeling that we can sustain our standard of living by building walls around the country and blocking trade. That would just be a grievous mistake, bad for the United States and bad for the global economy. I've been traveling in Asia for 26 years, and I've seen hundreds of millions of people lifted out of abject poverty from the benefit of exporting to the United States.

I would say the Republicans made a terrible mistake in partisanizing trade. It needs to be a bipartisan, national policy to be a free-trading country. It's easy to bash [free trade], because if somebody loses a job, you can personalize it. The fact tens of thousands are benefiting by buying very high-quality, very low-price goods imported from China is one of the great realities of the American standard of living.

WSJ: What about the Democrats?

Mr. Owens: I'm encouraged that Democrats who as a party were bashing trade now have more thoughtful people stepping forward to say this shouldn't be about partisanship. Barack Obama is a senator from our state, and I've had the chance to talk to him about it. I quite frankly was very disappointed he voted against [the Central America Free Trade Agreement]. How can you not want free trade with countries that have done most of the things we'd like them to do in terms of democratizing their countries? [But] he seems to be a guy who can move off of extreme partisan positions and try to find win-win positions. We need to win him over.

WSJ: How do you make the argument that free trade is a win-win situation to someone who fears his $75,000-a-year job will be outsourced to China?

Mr. Owens: It's a very difficult sell. It's like the guy who's making horse carriages when the car comes along. How do you make the case to him that the car's going to make the world a better place? We try to educate our employees on the importance of exports to us. We exported $10 billion worth of product last year, and many jobs in our U.S. facilities are very much geared to export markets. Many small manufacturing companies that supply materials to us probably don't consider themselves as exporters, but they are. If we don't export, we don't buy from them. So they lose jobs.

WSJ: Will Caterpillar's U.S. work force shrink as it expands abroad?

Mr. Owens: We're going to have a lot more employment growth outside than inside the US. We [Americans] are 5% of the world's population. And today, we're more than 20% of global gross domestic product. So it shouldn't shock Americans or even worry us too much that 10 or 15 years from now we're going to have a smaller percentage of GDP because our country's not growing as fast as emerging countries. It doesn't mean that our standard of living's going to go down. It just means that theirs is going to grow much faster.

WSJ: What's the best country to do business in?

Mr. Owens: Brazil in some respects is challenging, but we've got one of the best operations we have in the world due to the leadership we have in that facility and the espirit de corps. I was in China recently, and I heard people there say they wanted to be the Brazil of Asia.

Some of our large Midwestern facilities have kind of a challenge of mixed allegiance to the company or the union, a we/theyism that we haven't successfully urged. We're trying to have people understand that if we pay you, you're on our team and we want your heart and soul, we want you to help us be cost-effective, we want want you to help us improve quality.

WSJ: What was the buzz at Business Council?

Mr. Owns: The buzz is always about the economy. The key issue right now is do we see some easing of interest rates over maybe the latter half of the year and re acceleration of the U.S. economy and a soft landing here that creates a soft landing in the global economy? Or do we end up tightening again and having slow growth become slower growth or recession in 2008? We've got to drive some liquidity. I'm certainly feeling that inflation is a minimal risk, and I worry that we may overcorrect.

WSJ: What does Ben Bernanke do?

Mr. Owens: I think he's gong to sit on pat hand for a while. I think we're going to see inflation be very well-behaved, and I expect he'll be in a position to be comfortable easing interest rates in the latter half of the year.

WSJ: Did executive compensation come up at the Business Council?

Mr. Owens: It's amazing how much more time boards are spending looking at proxy statements and compensation write-ups and dotting i's and crossing t's. How does this help us compete in the global marketplace? For CEOs, if you make over $1 million, that's "excessive pay." If you participate in financial services or in sports, that's OK.

WSJ: You're a big college-hoops fan. Who's going to win the NCAA basketball tournament?

Mr. Owens: If I had to pick one team and put money on the table right now, I'd pick Florida.

Graphic:

Five tips for Managing a Global Giant

1. Act with integrity, value your people.

2. Complacency is incompatible with success.

3. Stay focused on bottom-line growth.

4. Don't shy away from tough debates.

5. Embrace globalization.

Oh. Well. When You Put It That Way....

2007-02-26T17:19:00.000-06:00

You just have to read the excellent, straight forward, and fascinating interview with Caterpillar CEO, Jim Owens in today's Wall Street Journal. Owens provides a lot of insight on where the company is headed. He is a strong proponent of globalization, and makes no apologies for outsourcing.

One such tidbit:

WSJ: How do you make the argument that free trade is a win-win situation to someone who fears his $75,000 a year job will be outsourced to China?

Mr. Owens: It's a very difficult sell. It's like the guy who's making horse carriages when the car comes along. How do you make the case to him that the car's going to make the world a better place? We try to educate our employees on the importance of exports to us. We exported $10 billion worth of product last year, and many jobs in our U.S. facilities are very much geared to export markets. Many small manufacturing companies that supply materials to us probably don't consider themselves as exporters, but they are. If we don't export, we don't buy from them. So they lose jobs.

And then there's this:

WSJ: Will Caterpillar's U.S. work force shrink as it expands abroad?

Mr. Owens: We're going to have a lot more employment growth outside than inside the US. We [Americans] are 5% of the world's population. And today, we're more than 20% of global gross domestic product. So it shouldn't shock Americans or even worry us too much that 10 or 15 years from now we're going to have a smaller percentage of GDP because our country's not growing as fast as emerging countries. It doesn't mean that our standard of living's going to go down. It just means that theirs is going to grow much faster.

The entire article is worth reading. In fact, for anyone who's future is CAT dependent (i.e., Employed by CAT, anyone who owns property in Peoria, or who's job is dependent on CAT doing surviving and thriving- and in this town, who's job isn't?) it should be mandatory reading.

I'm not sure the link I provided will allow you to read the entire article. Greedy dorkwads at the Wall Street Journal only provide a teaser paragraph and then want you to subscribe. I will try to type the whole thing up later tonight. Nothing good on T.V. anyway. Meanwhile, I suggest you prepare for the future by learning Spanish. Brazil, according to Owens, is the best country to do business in right now.

Yummy Oscar Goodness

2007-02-26T10:06:00.000-06:00

Actually, I didn't watch the Oscars because, frankly, I couldn't care less. If I have a lot of laundry to fold and Law and Order is a repeat, I might tune in to see the dresses. Polly does have a thing for fancy gowns, but never has an occasion to wear one. Sometimes I wish our town was just a little less casual. I would never dream of asking for a tax subisdized venue to justify my purchase of a designer garment. However, after a long winter of long underwear, lumpy/itchy wool fisherman sweaters, and frozen snow boots, a little glamour would be much appreciated.

I couldn't find any pictures of my fantasy lover boy, Russell Crowe, at last night's award show. However, I did find this lovely image.

Sigh. Rich, gorgeous, a genius, a gladiator, and a sexy Aussie accent. What more can a girl ask for?

So Help Me Gawd....

2007-02-26T09:06:00.000-06:00

I completed my tax return over the weekend. Despite my pathetic salary, no refund this year. So help me Gawd, if any of my tax dollars are used for yet another useless yet wildly expensive TIF to subsidize luxuries for Peoria Civic Center-hoity-toity-pigs-at-the-trough, I will personally punish each and every council member who votes pro TIF by dumping a stinky bucket of slops on their front lawn. You want stay at the Ritz? Fine. Hell, I'd like to stay at the Ritz at least once before I die. Just don't expect tax payers to subsidize your spa day and thousand thread count sheets. What next? A TIF for city wide aromatherapy treatments?

When are these people going to learn that continually throwing good money after bad at a failed project/policy will not redeem it?

Any City Council candidate who hems and haws, ducks, bobs, weaves, dodges, or worse- states, "we need to study this further" on this issue should be boot kicked off the ballot. Period.

Hoity-Toity-Peria-Civic-Center-TIF-Pig enjoying a relaxing tax payer subsidized mud bath at the proposed downtown Hotel and Day Spa.

The Power of the Post

2007-02-26T07:44:00.000-06:00

Two big, fat, huge, bow-from-the-waist-all-the-way-to-the-toes hat tips to bloggers C.J. Summers The Peoria Chronicle and the "pseudo anonymous blogger" (I really don't know who you are btw) at Peoria Illinoisan.

This time around the issue d'jour for the At Large City Council elections is the "Kellar Rail or Trail?" controversy. Have no doubt, many running wouldn't have a clue about this issue were it not for C.J. harping and educating the community about the costs and detriments that could occur should a rail line become a bike path. Previously, Polly was all in favor of the bike path simply because I live close to the rail line and don't see trains use it very often. I drive over the train tracks on Knoxville close to Junction City every day. In the last five years, I think I've been held up by a train crossing the tracks there maybe twice. As luck would have it, one time I was on my way to Proctor Hospital for stitches, but that is another story. However, C.J.'s insightful and well researched posts on the topic have me thinking twice. I chuckled when I heard that the proposed trail could be used for cross country skiing. Sure, it could, but this winter so could most sidewalks and unplowed city streets. The cross country skiing suggestion warrants the most obvious of questions: How profitable could another trail be for the community when it is freezing cold in this town at least six months a year? We have the Rock Island bike trail, which I when weather allows I can personally testify, it is well used. However, how much money does it actually bring in? I like to bike the trail during the spring and summer months, but to be honest, I've never stopped anywhere to buy anything. There have been times when I have run out of water and would have liked to purchase another bottle, but there isn't any place to do so for most of my eleven mile ride. Kellar Trail proponents say this trail will be different, but other than Junction City, does any retail outlet currently exist?

Peoria Illinoisan gets a hefty salute for thinking out of the humble blogger box and asking City Council candidates to participate in his issues quiz. Damn. I wish I would have thought of that! PI's quiz was more insightful than anything I've seen in the PJ Star. Polly's advice of the day: Be wary of candidates who state, "That issue has been put to bed by the current City Council, Park Board, etc." in lieu of providing a real answer. As we've seen with Fire Station 11 and the Garbage Tax, hot button issues don't die. Rather, they continually resurface and bite us all in the collective ass/pocketbook.

C.J. and P.I., you inspire and motivate me.

Hey! Clifford Ray! Good News!

2007-02-25T20:32:00.000-06:00

Master Dahl,

Sounds like they're working hard for you! I say a prayer for you every day, Buddy. Tell your dad that we really miss his blog, and we want an update as to how you, your little brother, and Mommy are doing. Stay strong.

Love,

Aunty Polly

New, important, and hopeful research in the battle against Batten Disease.
Check it out! And then, if possible, write a check. I didn't know anything about Batten's Disease until a year or two ago. In Pollyterms, (and I'm not an expert by any means) I describe Batten's as similar to Alzheimer's, except that it strikes little kids- resulting in seizures, memory loss, blindness, paralysis, and eventually- death. Most kids don't survive past the teen years.

I think one of the most frustrating things about this heartless killer is that experts (real ones, not the Polly kind) agree that a cure is within reach. However, since Batten's is considered a "rare disease" funding is lacking. Rare diseases are not rare. Chances are quite good that you or yours will confront one. Maybe it is about time that Americans demand that government dole out research dollars differently.

Ain't We Got Fun?!

2007-02-23T15:46:00.000-06:00

See Vonster, Polly is not a mushy, liberal, hairy leg pacifist. Stories like this one make my day! I'm sure this kick ass senior citizen didn't enjoy killing a thug while defending himself and friends. The guy might not be in the mood to celebrate, but I'd like to buy him a drink and pin a medal to his chest anyway. Kudos to this whole group of senior citizen tourists who took on a group of thugs, won, and then proceeded with their Carnaval Cruise vacation. Kudos to officials in San Jose who didn't hold up the Senior-Citizen-Kick-Ass-American-Tourists and got them back to the ship before it set sail.

Okay, the guy pictured here is not the kickass senior citizen mentioned in the article. That guy was only 70. This dude is 84! Forget buying a gun, Polly just needs an older (buff) man!

Polly for President

2007-01-28T17:13:00.000-06:00

Stop laughing. It could happen. Having my own blog for a couple of years is as much of a qualification for the Presidency as running a crappy baseball team. More, really, because my blog proves that I am at least somewhat literate. Like Bush didn't buy and snort his way through Yale. Chill out Vonster, everyone knows Gore did the same thing at Haaaavard.

Anyway, I'm throwing my hat in the ring. Or at least seriously considering it. That is, I've begun an Exploratory Committee to investigate the possibility. Which means that I may accept donations for my campaign, which may or may not ever happen. As with most Exploratory Committees, my committee and I will decide whether or not I am capable of being a worthy contender based on whether or not I receive enough donations during this period of exploration. (Anyone remember Elizabeth Dole?)

Frankly, I think I should just go beg City Council and demand to be designated a TIF district. After consuming all that eggnog over the holidays my arse is certainly large enough to be designated a district, why shouldn't it be tax free? At a minimum, Council could declare it an Enterprise Zone. Er, my ass as an Enterprise Zone? Doesn't sound nice. At all. So scratch that. I'll stick with the TIF. After all, everyone knows that the best way to get an unnecessary, undeserved tax break for an unsuccessful project is to beg local City Government.

I promise, Polly's ass is significantly smaller than David Joseph's.

And the award for the most yard signs goes to.....

2007-01-24T11:00:00.000-06:00

George Jacob who is attempting to keep his gifted At-Large seat on the City Council. Damn. His signs are everywhere. I think they are breeding. I'm seeing them in my sleep.

I admit, I'm a Jacob fan. I gave George a very hard time at first. I think Polly (subconsciously, of course) dreamed Ardis would pick ME for the post. I still have some hang ups with allowing those with liquor licenses to serve on City Council. I don't think George, specifically, would abuse the power, but someone else will.

Despite the very powerful strings that were pulled in order to give him the post, George seems like an honest and humble guy. He abstains from voting on any liquor requests that come before the Council. However, his posting opens the door for more liquor license holders to hold City Council seats, which is inevitable and problematic. What if there are four, five, six or more such Council members? They would all have to abstain from voting on liquor licenses which is quite a few votes. Moreover, council members retain influence regarding liquor licenses regardless of whether or not they abstain from voting. (i.e., "You vote for my bar owner buddy, and I will vote for extra funding for more police patrols in your District.) As it is, a liquor license vote could be held up by a tie with just one council member abstaining.

That aside, I really like George Jacob. I was pessimistic that a rich guy from very North Peoria would get his hands dirty with those of less economic means. Wrong. "Curious George" -as dubbed by Molly Parker and Jennifer Davis- shows up at meetings well prepared, doesn't make long winded speeches only to glorify himself, and has gone above and beyond by spending time in the East Bluff needling (my word) the police to be more aggressive with the criminal\slumlord\renter-from-hell elements that are ruining a formerly nice neighborhood and could be again with a little TLC.

George's use of so many yard signs is perplexing. I know politicians shouldn't take anything for granted, but a beer distributor has many friends, even if he isn't as likeable as Jacob. Moreover, Jacob is cozy with Peoria Firefighters/election workers extraordinaire. If Jacob can't make it through the run off, I will be dumbfounded.

Jacob's campaign colors- reddishbrownish and white is strangely familiar. Weren't those Thetford's colors in the last Council election? Problematic for Gale. My theory as to why she is running... to get rid of the leftover\plethora\fire hazard of yard signs overflowing from her basement from her last failed election.

Yo! Willy!

2007-01-22T08:47:00.000-06:00

Da Bears are going to the Super Bowl. I don't care. Please stop talking about it. What, all the sudden Peoria loves Chicago? As if our town has something to do with this "miracle." Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them and all -well, I would be- if I cared. For me to get really excited, I have to see how this was going to be a financial boon to our fair State. It seems to me that the dollars will mostly fall in Miami, where the game will be played. Why is the hallmark football game of the year being played in the tropics anyway? It's football, not some prissy cricket match. How teams deal with crummy weather is part of the sport. They should play the game in Chicago, Denver, or Buffalo.

I'm sure Peoria had a big impact the great presidential hopeful Barak Obama as well. Seeing an outline of Illinois projected on the national news sure does a lot to swell the pride of some Peorians. Whatever makes you happy.

Today's Word On the Street caught my eye. The last couple of paragraphs anyway. I'm not sure why someone from our region throwing a fundraiser favoring Edwards over Obama is column worthy. However, Aaron Schock's relationship with Junction City owner Alexis Khazzam is interesting. Aaron received $26K from Khazzam in his later days of campaigning. Now Khazzam has employed Schock. Something about Schock doing something for Khazzam by heading up Project Springboard! The project will encourage Bradley students/grads to compete for start up funds for their very own Peoria business. Uh, okay. Sounds like someone has been watching too many Apprentice re-runs. I'm sure Alexis Khazzam is aware of our brand spanking new taxpayer funded business incubator being built within spitting distance of Aaron's office. The whole thing is probably legit, but odd. We will have to wait for Aaron to file a tax return in order to see how much this alliance/job pays. To be fair, the State Rep gig doesn't pay much. Neither did the School Board stint. Most successful pols are independently wealthy. Maybe Aaron is trying to shore up his personal bank accounts in order to move on to bigger and better offices? Aaron, I love ya, but you really need to write a cheesy book with a cheesy subtitle if you ever want to be president.

Speaking of Aaron Schock, WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO WILLY NILLY?! I'd think you'd be all over this. I miss you, Buddy. Time to shake off the post Ray Lahood re-election blues and get back to blogging. Jeeze. Your team took the House and the Senate. The White House is yours to lose. Isn't that better than just getting Ray Dingleberry bootkicked out of office? The election gods had to do something to keep you humble.

Hell. Tony Robbins Style.

2007-01-21T23:20:00.000-06:00

I hate temps. Actually, I don't hate them, a lot of temps are brighter and harder working than some of the slobs employed here. Rather, I hate when the big boss loses his "real" secretary for any amount of time, because the temp dutifully lets all calls through, including dorkwads attempting to motivate us workerbees to be, "Simply the Best." Ah, the world of motivational speaking. What Corporate America does when desperate to calm shareholders. "Yes, profits weren't what we expected, what we promised, but don't worry. We hired those top notch Voo Doo Priests at Six Sigma to turn our organization into a lean, mean, profit churning machine. All is well, no need to sell."

This year Six Sigma's call didn't get through. A little disappointing, because I did enjoy watching our organization's head honcho run onto stage swathed in white pajamas and black belt and doing fake Karate kicks. Almost had a stroke repressing my laughter.

No Six Sigma this year, but some other emperor without clothes will undoubtedly throw motivator words such as "synergy" "leadership" and "goals" our way. Yes, we'll learn that only discontent will motivate us past our pre-conceived limitations. We discover that we must "name it to claim it." Self talk. I can all but promise the phrase "Self Talk" will be used repeatedly. If my self talk is negative, so will my results. My mentoring will be negative, and thus I will be a negative leader and our corporate culture will be poisoned and our bottom line will suffer. What do you want to bet that Enron held these type of seminars every week? Part of the pain of these sessions is watching first timers. They want to be positive team players, so they get sucked into this cult like atmosphere. Deprogramming could take up to a year to complete. After a year of plastering on a fake smile, and responding with a hearty "FANTASTIC!" when asked simply, "How are you?" First timers realize that yelling "FANTASTIC! did not further their careers, relationships, or provide winning lottery numbers.

Why not just hand out The Little Engine that Could to every employee at the company Christmas party? It would save the Company (and investors) money. Damn. I hope that doesn't count as bad self talk. I will spend two working days at a pump up pep rally run by people who have no clue as to what we do (Here's a hint you pseudo psycho wannabes: WE'RE A CHARITY! WE DON'T HAVE INVESTORS. WE HAVE CONTRIBUTORS. WE DON'T MAKE MONEY, WE BEG FOR IT!) What peeves me even more is that my workload will still have to be completed by me -Peons don't get a temp- on time, which means my evenings will be spent at the office. I'm salaried, which means no overtime. Grrrr. There goes that negative self talk again. I know, if I can believe it, I can achieve it. I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, I don't give a rat's ass if people like me.

Go ahead. Laugh at my pain. I can admit my life is a bad SNL skit. Take comfort knowing CAT recently sent an employee to address City Council regarding the possibilty of teaming together in the event of another major snow storm. This employee was a Six Sigma black belt no less. Yup. We are so screwed.

Voo Doo Priest Tony Robbins awakened the giant within in 2000 and got divorced, then quickly married a blonde he met at one of his seminars.

Misery Chic

2007-01-21T10:05:00.000-06:00

So many celebrities doing good deeds these days. I hope that's what it is. I don't mean to be cynical. I can't help it. Seems to me that it is much, much, much easier to adopt a child from a war torn, famine plague region of the world, and then turn said kid over to a nanny to raise. You look good and don't have to get your hands dirty. There will still be time to get another tattoo, collagen lip implants and hubby can keep his the appointment for more blonde highlights. Really want to impress the world with a charitable act? Buy a manse in Katrina ravaged New Orleans! Yes, you and yours won't be denied a single comfort, BUT, you will have a front row seat viewing the misery of others.

Don't get me wrong. I am humbled by those who put themselves in harms way with a passion to end the pain and suffering of others.

What's So Funny About Peace and Love and Understanding?

2007-01-15T10:33:00.000-06:00

He was about equal rights, civil rights, yes. But he was just as adamant about attaining his goals through non-violent means. To use violence in order to reach "The Dream" wasn't The Dream at all, but defeat.

Bush, Cheney, and every gangbanger out there should have to complete a course- call it, "King 101" as a part of rehabilitation, incarceration, impeachment, or whatever.

Oh Well. I Wasn't Using My Civil liberties Anyway.

2007-01-15T10:09:00.000-06:00

How special. On Martin Luther King Day no less.

From today's New York Times:

Vice President Dick Cheney defended efforts by the Pentagon and the C.I.A. to obtain financial records of Americans suspected of terrorism or espionage, calling the practice a "perfectly legitimate activity" used partly to protect troops on military bases.

Huh. Wonder if I can expect the CIA to go over my tax return with a fine tooth comb because I'm seriously considering leaving the Republican Party. I'd be willing to wager that Bush has killed more people than abortion of late.

So... Billy, Barbara, and Clyde- can you make room for one more?

We Are Making Enemies Faster Than We Can Kill Them.

2007-01-15T09:45:00.000-06:00

Which is the main problem Bush seems to be overlooking. Hunting down terrorists, potential terrorists, wanna-be-terrorists, (and folks who happen to have the poor fortune of living next door to any of the aforementioned)"over there" before they have the opportunity to find their way "over here" must be the stupidest foreign policy of all time. We've pissed off so many people at this point that the U.S. would have to use nukes for this to work, and that isn't likely since we don't want to contract thyroid cancer when we harvest the oil.

Terror hunting has given governments carte blanche to do as they like, when they like. No one blinks when the U.S. bombs suspected terrorists in Somalia now? Not confirmed terrorists, mind you, suspected terrorists. Although the U.S. may or may not have killed terrorists, one thing is certain. Both sides agree that confirmed -not suspected- civilians were hit.

Huh. China killed some of its own last week too. Of course, the Chinese government is known for this. Their official excuse this time? "They were terrorists."

Of course they were.

I heard the rumors...

2006-12-11T15:16:00.000-06:00

I but I didn't believe them. HA!!! I was at a holiday open house over the weekend and a little lady was collecting signatures for none other than GALE THETFORD to run for an At Large City Council seat. You'd think after the spanking' Bob Manning gave Thetford when she ran to retain her Council seat in the last City election she would take the hint.

All I can say is...
"Um.."

Thetford began every single painful and long winded speech she gave while on the Council with "Um." She should use it as her campaign slogan.

Gawd, are Ran$burg and Marcella going to attempt to rise from the dead and defeated too?

Airlines SUCK. Big time.

2006-12-08T03:28:00.000-06:00

I hate travel, I really do. Specifically, I hate air travel. Boarding an airplane rates close to root canal on my to do list. The reason for my absolute disdain of airplanes has little to do with a fear of flying. As I've blogged before, I realize and accept that I'm more likely to die driving in my car, on my way to root canal, than I am on an airplane. Or so I'm told. I'm beginning to have my doubts.

My hatred of air travel is due to the fact that many of my fellow passengers are inconsiderate slobs. These days, spending time on a commercial flight is akin to being trapped in an unvented elevator with a couple of homeless winos for at least three hours.

Polly has been dieting. Polly has been working out. Polly has been Heelying like a mad woman. Polly thinks her arse is looking quite shapely these days and the tape measure agrees. To reward myself, I bought a brand new, grown up, black pin stripe Brooks Brother's suit. I know, sounds stuffy and boring, but trust me. It's not. I like shopping for clothes almost as much as I like air travel. In a rare moment of boredom and weakness I stepped into Brooks Brothers in Chicago. Weak because I FREEZING and simply had to warm myself before continuing my walk to the Metra station.

I'm telling you, this suit called my name. Trying it on was an out of body experience. The garment has magic powers. Once on, cellulite disappears. I'm three inches taller. It says size 10 on the label, but I look like a size 2. Cindy Crawford would be jealous. Other shoppers watch me admire myself in the store's three way mirror. I can feel their envy. The ghosts of Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly applaud. I feel so gorgeous in this suit I'd wear it on my wedding day. I have the abilty to cure cancer, clear the national deficit, and bring about world peace in this suit. There is only one like it left. Moreover, The Suit is on SALE. To look and feel like this for $500 is a bargain. Euphoria.

Like an idiot, I wore my new suit on a commercial flight. Anyone else notice that airplanes are exceedingly filthy these days? Do not reach into the seat pocket in front of you. God only knows what you will find. Three week old used tissues filled with ebola. Last time I checked the seat pocket in front of me I found a used needle. I can only pray the passenger who placed it there suffered from diabetes and not AIDS. Look at the floor and seats. They haven't been vacuumed in months. Such foul decay of the interior cabin really makes one wonder what the maintenance standards are for the rest of the plane. If the engine of the aircraft is neglected in this manner we are all going to die.

Polly sat on a wad of gum thoughtfully chewed and left behind by a previous passenger. My gorgeous new suit, ruined. My formerly perky butt now sagging with depression. Mankind denied my profound beauty and amazing intellect brought about by the magic suit. The magic suit super powers do not include the ability to repel the goo that's penetrated the weave of its fabric. The suit has been defiled, victimized. Don't cry for me. Cry for the magic suit.

Next time I will hitch hike. Probably a safer and cleaner mode of transportation.

So Sick It Just Might Work...

2006-11-27T17:11:00.000-06:00

The PJ Star is for sale. Today's Word on the Street column hints that local big wigs with deep pockets have been approached with the goal of local ownership. That's the trend these days, or so we're told.

As much as I love Gary Sandberg, I don't see him coming up with the cash to buy the overpriced paper. Gary gets more votes than anybody with a lot less cash than any other candidate, but even with that sort of genius I don't think he'd even want the hassle of owning a paper.

HOWEVER, how about having a BLOGGER OWNED paper? Okay, and blogger owned and reader supported newspaper. Why? Just so we could remind Bailey who he works for before he glibly writes another stupid editorial that Fire Stations are silly and far less important than funding for the arts.

Heh. Heh.

Guns Don't Shoot People in the Testicles...

2006-11-27T16:18:00.000-06:00

People shoot themselves in the testicle(s).

Sigh. Why can't more mishaps involving guns be like this one?!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

(AP) A man who was attempting an abduction stuck a gun in his waistband when it fired, shooting him in the left testicle, police in Wichita, Kan., said. He cringed, and the gun fired again, striking him in the left calf. The 23-year-old walked into a hospital. He and two others were accused of trying to kidnap a teen in a dispute over stereo speakers.

Polly's view:

The only tragedy here is that the second bullet hit the left calf instead of the other (right) testicle. Then society would have the added benefit/comfort of knowing this gun toting moron could no longer reproduce.

Seriously, I think a partial, although not perfect, answer to reducing the innocent gun slaughter of U.S. citizens would be to require those applying for a gun license take an I.Q. test. Anyone who doesn't score 100 or above can't have a gun. Yes, the same for driving. I haven't thought this one through yet, but should I become Queen, I'm thinking an ethics test might be in order as well, as well as a gun safety exam. Hell, throw in a mental health test in there too, couldn't hurt.

Yeah, I hate government red tape too, but there is that rare occasion when it serves a good purpose. I, for one, love it when the Health Department shuts down a roach infested restaurant. It's a good day when government seizes a crack house, or condemns and then destroys property that a slum lord couldn't get off his lard ass to maintain. Yes, that doesn't happen much here in Peoria, but I understand it happens in other places, and if true, it's a wonderful thing.

As I've written before, not every person who has or wants a gun is an idiot, but every idiot is attracted to guns. Like some birds are attracted to shiny things. Like moths are attracted to a flame. Like politicians are attracted to spending money they don't have, etc.

Guns, fireworks, and idiots go together like beer, pizza, and hot wings.

A note to Bill Dennis, With Love

2006-11-25T20:05:00.000-06:00

Bill Dennis over at the Pundit changed his format again. I give up. Go cross-eyed young man, see if I care! His most recent template change isn't as nearly as annoying as the previous migrane inducing formats, (anyone remember "watermelon") so I'll let it slide. Criticize all you like, but Bill is one Peorian that doesn't fear change. We can learn from him. In the last year Bill has changed jobs, homes, towns, as well as templates. Bill, Lovey, Scarlet and I sent our annual Festivus card with our non tax deductible donation, and it came back! I guess you don't have the P.O. Box anymore? You need to include a snail mail address to your site so pseudo-anonymous bloggers can support our favorite Blog Father.

HEELY! HEELY! HEELY!

2006-11-22T22:25:00.000-06:00

Polly has found the cure for depression, PMS, Dumb Democrats, Dirty Republicans, Erectile Disfunction, PJ Star Editorials, Dork Wad Bosses, Lazy Ass Co-Workers, Terrorism, Locusts, Morbid Obesity, EVERYTHING. It isn't a magic pill. It isn't a frontal lobotomy (did I spell that right? Er, Eyebrows, help me out.) Anyway, every affliction known to mankind -except crappy spelling- SOLVED!!! Everyone, get out your credit cards. Go to Zappo.com and buy yourself a pair of HEELYS. No, you're not too old. Yup. They make em in grown up sizes. If my Christmas bonus doesn't completely suck ass (and it will) I'm gonna buy the entire City Council a pair. FUN! FUN! FUN! Why didn't somebody come up with this sooner?! Cutie Pie UPS driver delivered my pair today. Can I tell you? Fun AND an awesome work out. No, not sex. Get your mind out of the gutter, Bill. HEELYS. My thighs and arse feel slimmer and trimmer already and it's FUN. Scarlet better watch out. If my thighs get any stronger I might accidentally rip her head off some night.

You know who would really enjoy a pair of these? DeWayne Bartels. DeWayne, Buddy, forget scuba diving, and star gazing... Snoozeville! HEELY! HEELY! HEELY! I was suppose to cook the turkey tomorrow, but my kitchen isn't big enough to HEELY in, so I'm rolling on down to Schnucks now to buy a pathetic pre-cooked T-day meal. Let the inlaws partake of the nasty greenbean casserole. BTW, if you dump a can of creamed anything in food, well, that ain't cooking. You want creamed green beans? Try REAL CREAM. Oh, never mind. HEELY! HEELY! HEELY!

I may never blog again, I'm so filled with fun and mirth. Happy HEELY!!!

Another Republican Takes the Hint.... THANK GOD!!!

2006-11-13T10:27:00.000-06:00

Oh please, please, please let it be true. Chistmas comes to Peoria early! Today's Word On the Street Column dishes the tasty rumor that John Morris won't be seeking re-election for his At-Large City Council seat. The excuse given for Morris' delightful departure: "family." Yeah, right. Read: A blood relative told John Boy he didn't have a shot in hell of winning, and to please shut the heck up and stop embarrassing the family name.

I suppose I should be sharing in the Republican major depressive episode following last week's elections, but I can't work up the energy. I readily admit the boot kicking was well deserved and it was time to clean house. The only truly lingering wound is having to endure Gov. Chicagovich for the foreseeable future. Then again, really sore losers find ways to indict. Polly recently received a jury duty summons... Oh, wouldn't that be sweet?

We got the best of possible outcomes in the Schocks v. Spears race. Two smart, hardworking men will continue in public service. I like Schock and think he is a good state rep, but I would have been happy for Spears had he won. However, since Spears helped to craft the current City Council with appointment of brother-in-law George Jacobs- I think Bill should stay in the horse shoe and reap the rewards of his brilliant design. Billy, just think of all the stuff you can finally get done once Morris is gone. At a minimum, City Council meetings are guaranteed to be much, much, shorter. I still think Schock should have stepped up for Shadid's seat. Koehler gives me the willies.

Nationally, Rumsfield is out! My guess is that Rove or Cheney will be next. My money is on Cheney. The Iraq War has been botched and anyone with an I.Q. over 50 should have known "Stay the Course" as a strategy - let alone as campaign slogan/booster - was asinine. Look for an elegant exit, i.e., headlines to the effect of, "V.P. Quits After Heart Condition Worsens." Dick doesn't -or shouldn't- have the heart to stay the course either.

A Thank You Note to Aaron Schock and Bill Spears

2006-10-16T12:12:00.000-05:00

Okay, the black clouds over my head seem to be lifting and parting. A little. I'm starting to feel some relief from my latest massive depressive episode. Imagine that!!! It didn't require a hospital stay or violence of any kind. Well, there was some yelling. My Significant Other is still trembling under the bed. Babe, I swear, you can come out now. It's safe for the next twenty eight days. Promise.

I have Aaron Schock and Billy Spears to thank. The entertainment that has surrounded their campaigns has been fantastic. Downing a bottle or two of Prozac followed by a chaser of Ativan would not have brought the instant relief that these two have given me. Polly just loves a heated race.

I've kept my opinions to myself on this race because I am torn. I've met and like Bill and Aaron. Both fall into the category of Decent and Productive Politician- quite rare these days. Spears has been a gentle force on the City Council. Everyone seems to like and respect him. When one can say that both Sandberg and Nichting respect you and want to hear what you have to say... Well, that's leadership! I don't think Bill's plan to bring Ceasefire to Peoria is revolutionary. A solid campaign tactic to be sure, but this latest program aimed at ending crime and gun violence doesn't seem to differ from the many other programs that already exist and have failed to combat the problem. Along with every other cynical voter, I ask, "Bill, why now?" You have served as a City Councilman for forever and crime has always plagued Peoria. Now that you are attempting to reach for bigger and better things, well, Springfield anyway, it just dawns on you to bring this progressive program our way?! Er, thanks. I was a bit surprised when Bill opted to chase a State Rep seat shortly after he received the City Council of his dreams. He hand picked his brother-in-law, George (who admittedly is doing a fine job) to fill the open At Large seat after his best buddy, Ardis, was elected mayor. Is it just me, or does Barbara seem to have a teeny weeny little crush on Bill? I know. Me too. Manning seems to have found a solid mentor in Bill as well. Obviously, everyone knows Bill has Ardis' ear. All okay by me. All involved are intelligent, humble, well meaning beings. Clearly Spears is a good leader. Yet every wet Spring we hear about flooding in his District, and he claims to be hard at work to combat it. Yet, he voted for a Budget which neglected to fund the long needed, critical repairs necessary avoid sewage from overflowing into rec rooms of homes in the fourth distict. Aaron, his Fire Station 11 vote is good ammo as well. He claims to be in the "Basic, Essential Services First" camp, but when push comes to shove- he voted to partially shutter the Station. Looking for more? Well, Bill does flip flop a bit. He went back and forth on whether or not to buy the over priced water company. Had he not decided to run for your State Rep seat, I think he would have voted to buy the damn thing.

Aaron, I told you to go for Shadid's seat! Your humbleness prevented you from a sure win. Don't get me wrong, I like Ernie and all. Nice guy. However, jumping into the race after Blair jumped out automatically put Russell way behind. Nonetheless, the latest ad from Bill's camp accusing you of going easy on child murderers is asinine. I wouldn't worry much about it. No one wants to live next to a murderer, regardless of who they killed. That much is obvious. Have you introduced legislation forbidding Uncle Sam from placing a nuclear missile silo next to a pre-school? No? You bum! Legislation in other parts of the land which forbids convicted child molesters from living anywhere near children -not just within a few hundred feet of a school- has been proven not to make the public any safer. It has, however, proven to suck up the man hours and the inflate the cost of police protection. I would wager most child killers, who -don't misunderstand me- are scum through and through, are caretakers (i.e., drunk, high, and stupid boyfriends) who couldn't endure the cries of an infant interrupting their football game/meth induced high, not sickos who are just looking for an opportunity to kill children. Besides, as recent events in Amish Country have proven, where one lives does little to prevent the slaughter of innocent kids. My question is why a convicted child killer could be living next to anyone except the guy in the next prision cell, but that's an entirely different post.

I think Bill's attacks on your School Board service will serve as more potent ammo. I don't hold you accountable for the evil doings of Kay. Moreover, I think you should only be held responsible for the balance sheets you were given. You were one of the first to cry "Foul!" when District 150's finances were revealed to be in a sorry state. And we have you, in large part, to thank for the ouster of Rouster. Moreover, every piece of legislation you introduced last year was passed, and that says a lot for a newly minted State Representative. If Bill chooses to focus on your School Board service, it proves that he can't find anything worthwhile to attack regarding your fine stint as a State Rep. I was especially impressed by your bill giving No Bush Left Behind the fine tuning it so desparately needed. Thanks to you, schools will no longer have to give an eight year old student, one who suffers from severe mental retardation, the same exact test as an eight year old gifted prodigy, and report their scores in the same category- penalizing good schools, teachers, and kids for events and conditions beyond their control or ability to repair and/or improve.

You work hard, as does Bill, and I just want to thank and encourage you both to keep up the fantastic campaign. Aaron, I didn't think that it could get any better than your hard fought campaign again Ricca. Seems like that delicious victory was just yesterday.

Schock and Spears have kept those greedy pharmaceutical companies from getting any more of Polly's anti-depressant dime, and I really appreciate it. I'd vote for both of you if I could, but Polly doesn't live in Chicago.

Keep up the good work!

No, Guns Don't Kill People....

2006-10-13T20:36:00.000-05:00

... People -without-a-criminal-record-no-history-of-mental-illness-legally-able-to-buy-numerous-weapons-and-ammunition-line-and-tie-up-little-girls-who-lived-in-a-community-devoted-to-peace-and-forgiveness-and-easily-efficiently-quickly-execute-said-little-girls-in-the-head... KILL PEOPLE.

If you aren't safe in an one room school house in Amish country, to hell with everything.

Including this blog.

Mark Twain Hotel - Can you say CLASSY?!

2006-09-07T22:52:00.000-05:00

I don't agree with former Peoria Mayor Bud Grieves that our fair City is in desperate need of a museum, and I thought he was way off his rocker when he told City Council that $220 million was not too much to pay to buy the water company, but I will give him this...

THE MARK TWAIN HOTEL ROCKS!!!

Bud owns and runs a very nice place. Polly is staying here tonight because I had my hardwood floors refinished and while they look beautiful, my house smells like Love Canal. I got a migraine the moment I turned my key in the door lock. I swear, there has got to be plutonium or something equally toxic in the varnish they used.

It was too late at night to annoy friends, and since watching the t.v. ads lately, I was curious about the Twain. Can I tell you?! Very nice. Don't be fooled by the Hotel's exterior. I think the outside of the Hotel is well described as "Grey Poupon Mustard Yellow". My sister, who can be quite crass at times, calls it "Breast Fed Baby Crap Yellow." Worry not, better taste prevailed in the interior. My room is a gentle, muted, relaxing shade of Martha Stewart Green. The rooms are huge, metropolitan in decor, the shower is amazing- it has one of those huge rain showerheads- very sexy. I would wager that the sheets have a 1000 thread count and the bed is incredibly plush and cozy. Swank television with surround sound. Plus, FREE IN ROOM WI-FI!!! No key code needed. Two desks, nice size, and lots of cubbies so you don't have to trip over luggage. The price, $132 a night, includes four coupons for free cocktails, and breakfast in the morning. Bud didn't skimp on the in-room coffee either. Seattle's Best. There are even heavy white robes with the Mark Twain logos!

Mark Twain is pricey for Peoria, but better than any other hotel in the area I've seen, including the Courtyard Marriott. It blows the Pere out the water. The Pere is dingy and smells moldy in my opinion. My room at Mark Twain has an amazing view of the bridge. If anyone is looking to impress out of town clients or the in laws, this is the place. In fact, the Mark Twain is worthy of a wedding anniversary or prom night celebration. I have easy spent two times as much at crappier hotels in Chicago. The Mark Twain has the Downtown Chicago Sheraton beaten by a long shot.

My only gripe: Bud, Honey, you should have invested in better windows. The windows here suck! Saran Wrap would provide better noise reduction. Every siren, every moron motorist blasting rap sound as if they are in the room, not outside and eight floors below. When airplanes pass overhead, one momentarily fears that the hotel is located on the runway. Not an exaggeration- I can hear the high heels of bar hopping females clicking on the sidewalk. No problem. I plan on blasting the air conditioning (also loud) to muffle the noise.

Nonetheless this is a very nice place, and since Peoria is all but dead by midnight on Thursdays, I'm not too uptight about the cheap windows. I should be able to log six good hours of sleep.

Night night!

I Finally See What All the Fuss is About

2006-09-04T15:52:00.000-05:00

Page C6 of today's Journal Star has an article entitled, Ghosts of Glen Oak. It includes pictures of Glen Oak Park in its prime. Glen Oak Park used to host beautiful, elaborate sunken gardens. Boaters frequented the park's lagoon during warm months. Ice skaters took advantage of the lagoon when it froze over in winter. There were amazing structures, including Palm house, which was "an imposing glassdomed conservatory in which visitors could stroll among exotic plants and secret pools beneath its canopy of palms." The article suggests that Glen Oak Park rivaled New York City's Central Park, and certainly could put any Chicago park to shame.

So what the hell happened?

My guess is that it all went the way of the Palm House, "torn down in 1951, considered too expensive to maintain."

The pictures lead one to believe that Glen Oak Park was nothing short of idyllic. I envy the previous generations that were able to enjoy it, while -if you believe the drawings- swathed in their gorgeous long gowns and enormous hats. Hey. It was the Victorian Age. It could have happened.

If I had grown up in Peoria back then, I too would morn the destruction of Glen Oak Park. The sunken gardens have long since been filled in. Skating on a frozen lagoon in winter? Are you kidding?! Can you spell liability? No matter. If I had grown up playing in what was the very grand Glen Oak Park, expanding the zoo in attempt to generate something as crass as revenue would be the same as blasphemy. Allowing huge portions of the park to be overtaken by the school district for some new fangled and ugly institution... God forbid!

The sad truth: We have a war of generations taking place in Peoria. It isn't so much Caterpillar shoving a new museum, huge civic center, and expanded zoo down the taxpayer's throats, it is haute senior citizens demanding that their idea of culture be heeded. (Oddly, those who don't want the former jewel that once was Glen Oak Park to further dissolve mostly belong to the same generation but not, I would wager, the same tax bracket.)

This technically timid older set refuses to accept the sound superiority of mp3 players, the amazing picture quality of plasma television, and they are horrified that today's pampered youth have little desire to endure freezing cold, whipping wind, and pitted ice of a lagoon. The park district provides indoor ice skating all year. Ever hear of Owen's Center? Any Olympic skaters hail from the lagoon? No? Well Owen's claims Matt Savoy as its own, thank you very much.

Younger generation are more pampered, wealthier, and fatter to be sure. However, younger generation work more hours and have less free time than their parents or grandparents. Women aren't home changing diapers, darning socks and canning tomatoes any more. They work at the office at least a solid forty hours, and come home to prepare meals, wash laundry, and change diapers. When today's working couples get a little free time, they want to make the most of it. Dance under the stars at the park accompanied by the muni band? You got to be kidding. Snoozeville. Give me interactive, 3D, surround sound!

On the other hand, after an exhausting day, snuggling in the media room with the spouse, Chinese take-out, the kids, and a newly released DVD from Blockbuster... a little slice of heaven. Adventure? Education? Exploration? That's why God made vacations and Disney World. Families of modest means find ways to afford air travel, hotels, and theme parks. You can thank another new fangled invention for this- the internet. With Expedia.com and a credit card I can book an elaborate trip to the other side of the country or world in just a few minutes. Travel agent? Huh? Is that some James Bond type character from the olden days?

Perhaps the saddest truth is that even if one could wave a wand, sprinkle magic fairy dust, and wish upon a star to successfully return Glen Oak Park to it's previous glory it would still be under utilized. It would still be too expensive to maintain. It still would not generate revenue.

The school is a good idea. Today's parents want the best schools for their children. Yeah, I know. Glen Oak School was perfect for you. You went to school there, you grew up to pay taxes and you haven't robbed a liquor store. Guess what? We've put people on the moon since you were in school. Expectations and standards have changed. For better or worse, it isn't suitable to send kids to unairconditioned schools filled with abestos. I know, you went to the school of Hard Knocks. Good for you. Forgive the young 'uns. They want better for their kids. They learned that from you.

The Zoo expansion, on the other hand is stupid. Months ago some other blogger (C.J?)called Peoria's Zoo "Craptastic." Absolutely dead on. The AFRICA! Expansion isn't going to change that fact. At best, AFRICA! will be a new (though underfunded) interesting wing of an overall crapstatic zoo. How many times does anyone go to a zoo per year, regardless of how fantastic or crapstatic it is? Once? Twice? The best zoos (St. Louis, Brookfield) are interesting and impressive, but they leave visitors more than just a bit guilt ridden. Animals rarely look to be enjoying themselves. I always leave such places conflicted and more than a bit drained. Yeah the elephants were amazing. Can we really fool ourselves that 3/4 of an acre makes life worth living for these huge creatures more than twice a year? I go to a zoo to entertain kids. No kids? I'm not spending any of my precious free time at a smelly zoo. Or boring museum. Got kids? Twice a year -at best- load up the kids in the minivan, complete with DVD screens, and drive the fam damily to Chicago for some "culture." Read: Shopping, American Girl Store, Navy pier, the theme park disguised as a children's museum, ESPN Restaurant, and if the old ball and chain insists and the kids don't whine, Brookfield Zoo.

Don't sneer. Senior citizens don't know how it is. They don't know what it's like to have a son on a travel soccer team and a daughter in a karate tournament on the same day. They don't understand that the world is full of perverts and today's kids must be driven everywhere. Today's kids are not allowed to walk to school or piano lessons and no responsible parent allows kids to hang out at a park without adult supervision. Nine months out the year it is too cold and too dark by the time the average parent arrives home from work to take Junior to the park. Besides, Junior has a playset in his own backyard and an X-Box in the basement. Junior doesn't want to go to the park.

As an adult and a taxpayer, I should get a choice. The vast majority of Peoria's taxpayers don't really care about a new museum, bigger civic center, or expanded zoo. Frankly, and I disagree with them on this one, they don't want new schools. They certainly don't care enough about these things to be willing to pay for them. A children's museum. You betcha. Folks are willing to voluntarily pay to have it built. It doesn't take Harvard MBA to recognize this as a sign that the Children's Museum will likely generate revenue in the future.

It is ironic that the generation who grew up paying cash, lived within or below their means, and frowned upon debt, now insists that Peoria must have things it doesn't desire, let alone can afford. In a letter to the editor a few weeks back a former mayor of Peoria wrote that attracting young professionals to live and work in Peoria was difficult because, in large part, there was no museum. Bullsh*t.

When planning for Peoria's future, today's City leaders need to accept certain truths. For better or worse, today's young educated professionals -the ones that drive the "knowledge economy" Peoria is desperate to cultivate- care about crime, the cost of living and housing, commute times, and quality public schools for their offspring. As far as recreation, entertainment, and culture are concerned, to be honest, an elaborate shopping mall will suffice.

City Outsourcing

2006-09-04T02:43:00.000-05:00

Did anyone else see the report last week that Peoria's next budget is over $2 million in the red? Forced by higher government to fund future benefits for employees, Peoria is in trouble come 2007. Might as well put the last nail in the coffin that is Fire Station 11.

One possible solution suggested by Fifth District Councilman Patrick Nichting-outsourcing. No, we most likely won't have to wait for snow plows from India to clear the streets this winter, but look for more private businesses to start taking over what used to be city employee domain.

Private companies are not forced to fund -or even offer- the same benefits local city employees currently enjoy, so they can provide services cheaper than the City can. There are a few departments I would love to see taken over by a private corporation. Namely, code enforcement. The city has apt time to move on slum landlords and homeowners who just don't care that their properties are destroying a neighborhood and inviting crime. I digress.

The outsourcing ploy might work for those city services that depend on braun, but it seems less likely that private enterprise can take over the duties of the City Clerk's Office or the Treasurer's Office for example. Who will be responsible for receiving funds from such revenues as parking tickets, permits, and license requests? Who will keep the minutes of City Council meetings, fill FOA requests, track the budget? Temps from Manpower?

In a capitalist environment, it seems odd that Government would ever pay its employees higher salaries or provide better benefits than private companies. Of course, since City government doesn't provide a profit, it can't work exactly the same way as does private business. Most non-profits pay less and provide far fewer benefits than private businesses. So should the City of Peoria.

Whoever did the original math should be hunted down and shot. Even with a significant tax increase, there is no way the City will be able to provide the benefits it has promised to employees without going broke. Maybe no one saw that health care was going to become so expensive. Maybe the city employees union is too strong. Maybe whoever did the original math on the city employee benefits package was tripping on crack. It really doesn't matter.

I'm not saying that City employees don't work hard. Most of them probably do. I'm not saying they don't deserve healthcare or retirement benefits. They do. Just not better benefits than their bosses (taxpayers) enjoy. Unless you want to give your credit card number to some boiler room operator in India the next time you get a parking ticket downtown, something has got to give.

There. Now Quit Yer Bellyachin'

2006-09-04T01:30:00.000-05:00

I figured I owed my 12 devoted readers something. Polly promises. You will not find this pic anywhere else on the net. If you do, they stole it from here. I did not realize how difficult it would be to take pictures of one's own foot/leg. I also did not realize how difficult it would be to find a store that sells fishnet stockings in August.

I was told fishnets were a "winter item." Er, they don't seem like they would keep one very warm.

Oh. Then again...

Who Would of Thunk It?

2006-09-04T01:21:00.000-05:00

Gasoline prices brought a smile to my face today. A mere $2.74 a gallon. I filled up even though my tank was already half full. Polly typically drives on fumes and prayer. I thought it was nice that gas prices actually fell during a long holiday weekend for a change.

Then it dawned on me.

Greedy oil company bastard scum. Raise gas prices up to well over $3.00 bucks a gallon so the consumer will be delighted to pay a mere $2.74 a gallon. That will end those nasty, time consuming price gouging hearings. Evil geniuses.

Note to self. Buy more Exxon stock when the market opens on Tuesday.

America and the Right to be Stupid

2006-08-31T12:18:00.000-05:00

I was listening to NPR in the car Tuesday and one report made me so mad I actually had to pull over, have a talk with myself, and calm down.

Two men in Pakistan. Father and adult son. Both are naturalized U.S. citizens. Both have spent the last four years living in Pakistan. Both are related to a convicted terrorist. Father and son want to come back to America, but find themselves on the "No Fly" list. Which means they will only be allowed to board an airplane headed to the United States after they submit to an interview with the FBI which may or may not include taking a lie detector test.

"No fair!" Father and son whine. "We're American citizens! We should not have to endure such humiliation from our own government. Besides, as Americans, we have the right to be stupid, er, we mean, silent." Being true Americans they file a lawsuit. Said lawsuit has not been dismissed out of hand by a judge, and will likely be heard.

Like there aren't millions of American citizens -who haven't spent the last four years in the Middle East or are related to a convicted terrorist- who also must endure such security screenings? I know a man who jokes that when he wants some action he gets in line at the nearest airport.

Has anyone bothered to inform these Pakistani Americans that "the right to remain silent" is intended to protect those who have been charged with committing a crime? They haven't. Moreover, that they are welcome to keep silent but will simply have to remain in Pakistan?

If this case is actually ever heard in a courtroom, it is ever mounting proof that our country is being run by a very powerful yet pampered, insulated, and naive klan. Not a good combination when attempting to fight a global war on terror. If true, we are so screwed.

Our country has done a lot in an attempt to correct horrid and shameful injustices of the past. Nearly every American first grader has internalized the words, "It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside, it only matters who you are on the inside." Our legal system has integrated schools, tried its hand at affirmative action, and generally outted racists for the morons they truly are.

Oddly enough, we now find education and guilt can be a deadly combination. We have concentrated on teaching social justice but have completely neglected teaching street smarts. Perhaps those who run our country from have had no real need for street smarts. They were raised in the safest white bread suburbs. They attended haute schools and colleges where they learned that crime was merely a symptom of society neglecting its own. Huh. I wonder how they processed the criminal convictions of Martha Stewart and Kenneth Lay. Parents probably didn't give them enough hugs. The insulated and privileged did not learn that some people actually choose to be greedy, cruel, and even evil. They admirably learned to respect all religions and accept all nationalities, but did not pick up on the fact that others were being taught to hate and to further their religious agenda by slaughtering innocent people.

Powerful naive intellectuals of this country have had it really good. The world made sense until 9/11. Then, Oh. Crap. The privileged like airplanes. They really enjoy world travel. They are insulated no more. On 9/11 those in first class and corner offices died the same gruesome deaths as those in the cattle car and janitor's closet.

Remarkably, these intellectuals remain painfully slow. How unfortunate that regular folk have to live under the leadership of bright, educated people who can't process the fact that some hate us, want to kill us, simply because we are Americans.

It is a plague. I call it Street Smart Retardation. SSR may be a legitimate addiction, illness, disease, disorder, addiction or whatever. After all, one does not choose raises them. They may have little or no control over the fact that they have been brainwashed out of balance. Have a little sympathy.

It is unfair -but necessary- that blind people not be allowed to drive. It is also unfair -but necessary- that those suffering from SSR not be allowed sit on the bench, make laws, or serve as TSA personnel.

I propose that street smarts be included as a new section on the SATs and graduate school admittance exams. Here is a sample question.

You find yourself walking alone, lost, late at night in an unfamiliar deserted neighborhood. Suddenly you see a very large man coming towards you. You notice that the whites of his eyes are yellow and glassy. He appears not to have bathed for weeks. You notice the handle of a gun sticking out of the waistband of his jeans. This person also happens to be African American. In response:

A. You assume that this guy is dangerous, has hepatitis and a substance abuse problem. You think it is possible that he might rob you or worse. You turn around and run in the opposite direction as fast as you possibly can.

B. You are not sure if this guy is good or bad. Maybe he is just homeless and hungry and intends you no harm. Nonetheless, as he nears you make sure your finger is on the trigger of your mace... just in case.

C. This poor man is one of God's beloved creatures, a member of the human race just like yourself. Maybe he lost his job as a corporate executive at IBM last week in the last round of job cuts. Maybe his job was outsourced to India. Poor thing. He was likely abused and neglected as a little boy. Now the pitiful bloke is downtrodden and homeless. Hey! Maybe he can give you good directions! As he nears closer, you grab your wallet. You want to give him some cash for a hot meal.

Lolly's Got It Right

2006-08-25T12:24:00.000-05:00

Someone tell me. If it is okay for insurance companies to profile in order to secure profits, why can't airlines profile in order to save lives? A teenage boy pays more for car insurance than a forty something, married soccer mom. Such rates are based on statistics, not personal habits. Well, until you get into an accident or receive a speeding ticket, that is.

Muslim radicals must be laughing at us. They can count on political correctness and pathetic naive policies to assist them in carrying out their terrorism plots against us. I thought assisted suicide was illegal in this country.

I'm not Muslim or from the Middle East. Nonetheless, if (female) airport security wants to do a body cavity check or even a pelvic exam before my next flight, I will endure it. After all, it would be less invasive than being blown to bits over the Atlantic Ocean.

Instead of calling it "The War on Terror" it should be named "The War to Continue and Embrace American Stupidity."

Someone Check. Are Bill's Eyes Permanently Crossed?

2006-08-25T11:54:00.000-05:00

Yup. Billy fell off the wagon and has been playing with his thingy again. I don't think Bill understands why it is so hard for his regular readers to cope with his nasty habit of frequently changing his blog format.

Bill, remember the contrived "New Coke" controversy? Imagine if Nestle announced it would begin adding raisins to all Hershey bars. What if the Wall Street Journal started dotting i's with a big bubbly hearts? What if District 150 announced it was going to take over ancient Glen Oak Park, cover it in asphalt, and place a big, ugly, new fangled institution there? Oh, yeah. That's right...

This is Peoria, Dude. We despise change. Now knock it off before it falls off!

Lies, Damned Lies, and Blogging

2006-08-14T14:22:00.000-05:00

Polly is in a state of flux. Re-evaluating my place in blog world you might say.

There is a lot going on in the world that I would love to blog on. For starters, Thank God the ACLU doesn't have any pull in Britain. How did British authorities ascertain imminent terrorist attacks via air planes? Wide spread intelligence gathering. Keeping in mind the alleged terrorists were targeting international American flights, I think every U.S. citizen owes a big "Thank you and God Save the Queen" to the diligence and common sense of the British government.

Ah... but I digress. What I wanted to write about was the minor controversy swirling about my blog and the numerous pictures I have posted and the false claims as to my identity. I'm not going to justify anything. Dishonesty and fantasy has been repeatedly implemented on PollyPeoria by its author. My attitude has been, "It's just a blog. It's supposed to be fun. I can post anything that I find amusing and represent myself as anything/one that I believe my twelve devoted readers will find amusing." I really didn't think anyone would take an anonymous blog too seriously. There are upscale, upstanding, responsible, professional blogs out there. This just isn't one of them.

Some of the devoted twelve have e-mailed me to disagree. Since I have come to respect a few of them, I'm reconsidering my attitude, my blogging ethics, and whether or not to remain anonymous. I have to remain anonymous due to work and personal relationships that I hold dear. So the real question is whether or not to remain anonymous or remain at all. Well, whether PollyPeoria should remain at all, that is.

I've underestimated how much I've come to enjoy venting by blog. It has been a healthy experience. I have really come to appreciate what I consider to be blogging's biggest perk: My quirky opinions and my tendency to debate endlessly now only annoy those who choose to read PollyPeoria. Those who choose to be annoyed. I no longer (unknowingly) verbally assault people at bars and cocktail parties. My significant other no longer dreads taking me out in public or to social functions. I have been slow to learn that not everyone enjoys heated political discussions, and some even get their feelings hurt when confronted about their views and beliefs. Imagine that!

I've been a bit surprised as to how strongly some folks feel about the false pics and my fantasy identity. I apologize. I never considered myself a journalist and in my -admittedly- odd world, I didn't think I was being unethical. I figured as long as I wasn't downloading anything artsy, copywrited or trying to make people believe I was seriously Scarlet Johansson, morally I was in the clear. I have attempted to protect my identity, true, but I have also tried to create an identity that makes clear who I am not. Every now and then I will get an e-mail that says something to the effect, "Because of your opinions on ________, everyone at work thinks I'm PollyPeoria and is giving me a hard time. I think PollyPeoria is an idiot and I wish you would post the fact that you- whoever you are, Dumbass- is not _____________." I am sympathetic to those falsely accused of being me. I mean Polly. So, occasionally I have posted a fantasy piece with the purpose of building up my alter identity and also makes it clear that Polly could simply not be George Bush, because George Bush would never mud wrestle. Well, maybe he would, but he would get his ass kicked.

Some folks keep things simple. Back and white. They are who they are and they would never dream of misrepresenting themselves on a blog. Nothing wrong with that, admirable even. I insulted a few of these people by not adhering to the same high standards of transparency. For that, alone, I apologize. Not for being transparent, but because I didn't mean to insult anyone. I simply believe(d?) that it was okay to employ falsehoods on something I never meant to have been taken too seriously.

The problem is that I did have quite a few serious posts that I did want taken seriously. I have blogged on some fairly weighty issues, and certainly didn't want my posts on abortion, gay marriage, or the war in Lebanon to be taken as jokes. I didn't think co-mingling the serious with the silly -meant to misrepresent my identity- as a problem. I thought the divisions between serious and silly were obvious. I have been informed that they weren't.

So Polly is pondering. Even know it all Polly can be wrong. Maybe. I guess. Sorta.

What Polly REALLY Looks Like...

2006-08-05T14:18:00.000-05:00

You asked for it. You have no one to blame but yourselves.

Passion of the Pathetic

2006-08-02T03:21:00.000-05:00

I admit it. I'm a Mel Gibson fan. Not huge or anything. In fact, I've never seen Braveheart or even Mad Max. I did see Passion of the Christ and was impressed that such a solid film was directed by a celeb who starred in all those cop action flicks. I don't think I've seen any of those either. As celebs go, I've always put Gibson in the Good Guy column. He comes off as a nice guy. He's been married to the same woman forever, and has something like a gazillion kids. Plus, he is easy on the eyes. Although Mel's years of smoking have caught up with him. Well, his skin anyway. He's got that turkey neck thing going on. As usual, I digress.

Mel is sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry so sorry for anti Semitic comments he made during his DUI arrest last weekend. He now wants Jewish leaders to meet with him to discuss what is required for Mel to "heal." That's all well and good, I guess, if he is sincere and not just trying to retrieve his career out of the crapper.

What gets me is that Gibson seems to regret his words more than his actions. That is, he is more bothered by his claim, "Jews start all the wars in the world" than he regrets getting behind the wheel of car drunker than a skunk, and driving 80 m.p.h. in a 45 m.p.h. zone. Yes, I know Gibson blames the "disease of alcoholism" and I don't doubt that he qualifies as an alcoholic. I just think Mel and the media should be as concerned that Gibson actually committed an act that could have easily gotten innocent people killed. Maybe if I wrote he committed an act that could have gotten innocent Jewish people killed, my point would be better made. I'm not Jewish, and I freely admit that if Mel had said something rude about women or my religion, I would be pissed- but not as pissed as I would be about the drunk driving.

Gibson's words were both hateful and shameful. However, more fuss is being made over his words (by both the media and Mel) than his CRIME. Like it or not, racist speech is constitutionally protected. This is America. You are free to be an ignorant ass if you want to. Driving in a manner that could have plunged a family off Highway One and into the Pacific Ocean deserves a little jail time. Mel is a repeat offender when it comes to driving drunk. I can buy alcoholism is a disease that is difficult to control. However, I don't buy that one has an addiction to driving while drunk. If Mel could string a bunch of anti Semitic remarks as well as drive a speeding car, I think he was capable of using a phone and a credit card and calling for a taxi.

I really hope Mel gets his meeting and healing with Jewish leaders... while behind bars.

Some Girls Have All the Fun...

2006-07-29T22:43:00.000-05:00

This pic is for Scott J. Because I failed to check my blog mail in a timely manner, I missed out on a party at his place which included both beer and mud wrestling. Two of my favorite pastimes. This took place during a work/charity event last Spring. I got to wrestle my former supervisor and sink my boss in the dunk tank. Good day. It was supposed to be all fun and games, but I did my damndest to make her eat dirt. We raised A LOT of money that day. I highly recommend this gimmick for any other professional fundraisers out there.

Why Polly Can't be President

2006-07-22T16:56:00.000-05:00

Okay, I know I'm heading into troubled water here, but I've had CNN on non stop for days now and I can think of little else than the Israel/Lebanon conflict. Seriously, I really need to turn off the tube, but Polly is painting her entire first floor this weekend and I need the company. At this point I can lip sink Headline News, and have come to the conclusion that we are a nation of freaks, who grow ever more freakier for the chance to see our obese selves on CNN. I'm never eating again. Celery and Diet Coke for life, I tell you.

Anyhoo, I digress. I began squarely on Israel's side. I did. Hezbollah should have never crossed the line and kidnapped the two Israeli soldiers. Stupid decision. But then Israel starts launching attacks left and right, killing innocent civilians and blowing up the infrastructure of a poor country that has been struggling to rebuild after its last civil war. Hezbollah exists within Lebanon, no doubt, but it is NOT Lebanon. The KKK is not America. Everyone involved and not involved agrees that Lebanon's infant government is impotent in ridding the country of Hezbollah. It also seems all are in agreement that Syria and Iran are to blame. Then why in the hell is Israel punishing innocent citizens and demanding the ultimate sacrifice for another's crimes? Don't bother whining to me about 9/11 and Afghanistan. Two victimized soldiers by Hezbollah is not equal to 3,000 murdered by the Taliban. Yes, I know that Hezbollah has caused Israeli fatalities in all of this, but not nearly as many, and only after Israel started firing at will. To me, it looks like Israel was just itching for a reason to bomb their neighbor.

It will end one of two ways. Diplomatically, with a prisoner exchange. Not likely. Or Israel will occupy Lebanon until it believes it has adequately bombed and disarmed Hezbollah (learn from our mistakes guys, not freaking likely) leaving Lebanon once again in tatters, and the rest of the Middle East itching to pay Israel and it best buddy, the U.S., a nice heaping dose of revenge. Oh! Along with two dead, but immensely precious Israeli soliders to boot.

What the hell does Connie Rice mean when she stated, "There is no point and nothing to be gained by a "premature cease fire?" Well, Con, how about the prevention of the extermination of innocent lives? Something you would think Israel -and the educated world- would well understand, let alone practice.

As troops amass to storm into Lebanon, I can only predict that it won't be much longer before the United States puts its big, fat mouth/thumb into this mess resulting making the whole thing worse. To that end, I say we give the country that yells "Uncle" first the entire state of Nevada. Or Nebraska. We don't need it. Surely we can find another place to dump our nation's nuclear waste or house our cattle. I know Nevada and Nebraska aren't the holy real estate that Israel or Lebanon are, but something's gotta give, and I don't see this ages old conflict ending unless someone moves. I know, I know, and I agree - they all deserve a homeland. So, lets give them a chunk of ours. "We" stole from the Indians, now's a chance to make amends by giving stolen property to a deserving war weary people. Israeli and Lebanese both qualify.

Any takers?

But What TYPE of Gay?

2006-07-17T10:29:00.000-05:00

Awhile back I watched an Oprah Winfrey show which featured Melissa Etheridge and Dolly Parton as guests. Melissa Etheridge asked Dolly Parton whether or not she believed homosexuals should be allowed to marry. Dolly Parton replied, "Hell, Yes! Equal rights! Why shouldn't you all have to suffer like the rest of us?"

The silly season is upon us, otherwise known as elections. Gay marriage seems to once again to reign as the supreme issue de jour. Petitions have been signed. Voters will be asked to define, constitutionally, what exactly constitutes a marriage. Courts are weighing in on the matter en masse.

To be honest, I am not completely comfortable with gay marriage. However, I can't honestly think of a logical reason to justify preventing it. It is traditional to allow only one man and one woman to marry. So what? The most heinous of society's ills were traditional at one point or another. Slavery, for instance. At one point in this country it was traditional to burn women at the stake if society thought they were witches. Frankly, a lot of traditions annoy the hell out of me. My significant other's family has a "tradition" of letting the women slave away in the kitchen on huge meals during holidays while the menfolk watch football. After the men gorge themselves, they return to worship the television while the women wash the dishes. Sucky tradition. I asked my significant other why his name was printed first on everything. From checks to address labels to junk mail, the guy's name always seems to come first. My significant other justified it by shrugging and saying, "It's tradition babe." Huh. I thought "ladies first" and alphabetical order were also traditional, but the tradition of sexism tends to take priority over both of the aforementioned. Tradition alone as a justification to ban gay marriage doesn't wash.

How about the breakdown of society? How do you figure? Allowing two consenting adults to marry is going to somehow going to threaten civilization? What, two men get married and suddenly people will want marriage to include three or more people or even pets? Not likely. Marriage represents a lifetime commitment to another person. Folks who are into three or more ways don't strike me as the committed type.

It isn't natural. It isn't? Who says? Anyone who has watched rabbits, deer or dogs have likely witnessed homosexuality in species other than humans. I have heard some argue that if homosexuality were, in fact, "natural" or alright with the All Mighty, homosexual intercourse would result in conception. Like there is a shortage of people? Our species is on the verge of extinction is it? If humans are threatened it is because there are too many of us depleting resources. Homosexuality has been with us since ancient times. Perhaps it is nature's or God's way of preventing over population. Don't misunderstand me. I think gays can make good parents. There are plenty of kids out there who have been neglected and abused by heterosexual parents.

With a divorce rate of over fifty percent, it would seem that heterosexuals are the biggest threat to the institution of marriage. It would seem that most heterosexuals have difficulty maintaining and staying committed to a member of the opposite sex.

The full truth is that there is a certain type of gay that I find revolting. It isn't homosexuality in and of itself. Two women or two men in a committed relationship don't threaten or disgust me. However, I have been to Castro Street in San Francisco, seen a gay parade or two in Chicago, and seen a television series or two which all seem to promote a lifestyle that is absolutely perverted.

Think of the "Jack" character on NBC's Will and Grace. Heterosexual or homosexual, if your sexual desires overshadow absolutely everything in your life, you've got problems. That is, if ALL you are is a sexual being, regardless of sexual preference, well, you would fall into my "icky" category as a person. Over sexual beings exist in both worlds. Think of the guy at the bar with his shirt unbuttoned to his navel, the sleaze who has wondering eyes and hands, desperately trying to score with anything female. Icky. I wouldn't want the Jack character or the barfly to be my children's teacher or coaching little league. I don't want to have to rent an apartment to them. They are not normal. I don't trust the judgment of either of them. I don't hate either of them, but I do think they have made sex into something unhealthy and some personality disorder, perversion, or at a minimum- a sexually transmitted disease, likely lies in each.

On the other hand, I have no problem with the "Will" character on Will and Grace. Will represented most of us, I think. He sought a partner to share his life, have children, and grow old with. Most of society shares the same goals. Nothing abnormal there. I'm not a prude, and I'm not saying that sex should be outlawed for those who are not married. I'm not sure I would define sexual intercourse as a "sacred act" even within a marriage. Puhleeze. Is there a married person out there that didn't pursue sex with her or his spouse as a cure for insomnia? Nonetheless, most of us more mature non-prudes, who have lived long enough to have a few regrets, can likely admit- there are few things less satisfying and ultimately more lonely than a one night stand.

It seems to me that the easiest way to try to stamp out the perverted type of homo AND hetero sexual is for society to embrace and promote marriage for both. Society has much to gain from mature adults in committed relationships. Society has much to fear from those who promote sex as just another bodily function, nothing more special than, say, blowing one's nose or going to the bathroom.

Hello

2006-07-03T13:37:00.000-05:00

Polly is okay. Will be back when I can.

Lying Liars and the suckers who give em money

2006-06-16T00:37:00.000-05:00

I received an e-mail today that included the following:

"BTW, does it annoy anyone else how many restaurants, mainly the chains (Appleby’s, Chili’s) don’t include their alcoholic drink prices on their menu? I find that terribly insulting. They seem to want to intimidate or embarrass you against asking. And when you do ask how much the top shelf margarita is, the wait person often doesn’t know (or acts like they don’t know) and have to go ask. All part of the strategy to get you to order overpriced drinks."

I don't eat at Applebee's or Chili's or chain restaurants much, so I don't know if this is true. Can anyone else comment on this?

I don't know why exactly I avoid chains. It isn't snobbery or a personal policy. I'm a big fan of Krispy Kreme. Hey! Bill Spears! Any word on when they are going to resume construction on their Peoria store!? I like Lester's too. But watching the donuts being made is neat and yes, fine entertainment.

This drink scheme, if it is real, wouldn't surprise me. I have found that most big chain restaurants tend to be less clean, with longer waits, huge portions of food that really amount to nothing more than a hulking plate of salt and lard. Not that Polly is above a good dose of lard and salt, but I go to Hardee's for that if I'm in the mood for it.

Another scheme I've been subjected to -and would really like to know if anyone else has experienced this- is telemarketers who solicit for charities by saying,

"Ms. Peoria? Hello. I'm Golly Goody from Widows and Orphans of Whale Hunters of Alabama. I want to thank you so much for your generous support of our organization in the past. I see that you gave $40.00 last year during our annual begathon. Can we can count on you for another $40.00 this year?"

Essentially Ms Goody is implying that I've been a good soul in the past, they love me. I've supported them before, so how can I slam the door on them now? Here's the thing. I have never ever given to any of these charities. I know, because I never, ever pledge money over the phone. EVER. These charities are trying to raise money with an out and out bald faced LIE, which makes me wonder if these aren't just boiler room scam artists.

LATELY, IT SEEMS EVERY CHARITY TELEMARKETER SEEMS TO THINK I'VE GIVEN MONEY TO THEM IN THE PAST. Polly is good. Polly is kind. Polly is neither that good, kind, or rich.

Any one else out there experience any of the above? I say we start cracking down!

Best. Eyecandy. Ever.

2006-06-12T14:25:00.000-05:00

Like every intelligent being on the planet, I have serious concerns about the war in Iraq. Or, as, my president calls it, "The War on Terror." I would just really like some confirmation that the majority of Iraqi citizens want us there.

Have no doubt. I adore our troops and they have my undying appreciation and respect. This was just sent to me. Actually, I've received it three times today. Polly loves a man in uniform. Especially this one. (Look closely at the badges under the American flag.)

Copperworks. Yummy goodness.

2006-06-11T01:19:00.000-05:00

It was almost too pretty to eat. For a second I forgot I was in Peoria. Tavern on the Green in Central Park, or some haute cafe in Paris, but no, I was at Copperworks located in the stripmall on the corner of Pioneer Parkway and Knoxville. The presentation of my sea bass marinated in miso accompanied by garlic mashed potatoes looked like something that required a structural engineer to create. I hated to mess it up by diving my fork into it, but sometimes beauty and art must be sacrificed for appetite.

Yummy. Yummy. Over twenty four hours ago and I'm still gushing. Copperworks isn't cheap, but not overpriced. I ordered the sea bass, my friend ordered the bacon wrapped beef filet with garlic mashed potatoes. Between us we also consumed the artichoke dip appetizer, a beer, two glasses of wine, and one apple dumpling dessert. Salads were included with the entrees and came with an age balsamic vinaigrette. The bill was $88.00 plus tip. Well spent moola. Can't wait to go again.

They had a live band in the bar area, jazz, very sultry female singer. Good atmosphere. The walnut covered, stuffy country club motif of the former Jim's Steakhouse is gone. No noticeable ruminants remain. The walls are dark navy blue. My only gripe is the furniture, which had a decidedly conference room feel. Black tables, metal legs, and chairs which were comfy enough, but looked like they were better suited for the CAT cafeteria. However, with food so tasty, such a critique is petty.

I'm going back... and soon. They offered a pork and polenta dish I just gotta try. Seven and French Toast have some serious competition.

I might have to rename my blog PiggyPolly.

To DeWayne Bartels, With Deep Sympathy

2006-06-11T00:13:00.000-05:00

I read in the PJ Star Obituaries this past week that DeWayne Bartels' mother recently passed away. For those of you who don't know him, DeWayne is a reporter for the Peoria Times Observer and an occasional PollyPeoria commenter.

Sometimes I get the Times Observer, sometimes I don't. Apparently I live on the border of what is considered "North Peoria." Although I don't always agree with Bartels, I always find his articles stimulating. I get really cranky when I have to walk a few blocks in order to steal someone else's Observer.

Take care DeWayne. I will be thinking of you and your family during this sad time.

Love,

Polly

The Nerve!!!

2006-05-31T23:23:00.000-05:00

I received a letter from the internet slumlords over at Insight Cable today. Frankly, I expected a check crediting me for the huge chunks of down time I've suffered due to Insight's invisible upgrades. No such luck. Instead, Insight congratulated me on being an Insight sucker/customer for a whole year now. They also informed me that Insight is going to continue my low introductory rate of thirty bucks a month for providing me internet service when and if they feel like it. Next came an e-mail from the dorkwads at Insight letting me know that my service "may" be disrupted June 3rd while they make yet even more invisible upgrades. Yup. Sounds like Polly will once again only be able to blog via smoke signals soon.

Tax supported wi-fi is looking better and better and even slightly justified lately.

BTW, did anyone see Gary Sandberg at the Council meeting a few weeks back when he stated that disrupted internet service was not a serious issue?! Are you kidding me? I guess we know who Sandberg's internet provider isn't.

Another Chutzpah Award Nominee....

2006-05-31T23:07:00.000-05:00

And Bill is going to hate this one!

Sandra Fritz

Sandra Fritz gathered over 400 signatures to convince City Council to deny Elliot's strip club liquor license. She addressed City Council numerous times on the issue. Fritz also got an advisory referendum on the ballot, asking voters whether or not they felt full nudity should be allowed at "adult entertainment" establishments. Her latest endeavor was to help secure enough signatures pursuing a "marriage protection" measure -also advisory- on the next ballot. Fritz wants the state constitution to define marriage as between one man and one woman.

I gotta admit, I hesitated before adding Fritz to the list because I disagree with some of her beliefs. However, it is the Chutzpah Award and adding Sandra Fritz's name to the hat seems justified. She speaks up and she does a lot a work to back up her beliefs and a desire to make Peoria a safer place. Moreover, I don't find Fritz hateful... just a bit out dated perhaps.

I can't resist. Anyone who watches the nightly news ought to have noticed that there are PLENTY of married, heterosexual perverts and predators out there.

More Chutzpah Nominations

2006-05-28T22:22:00.000-05:00

Lots of responses in my e-mailbox regarding my request asking for suggestions for the PollyPeoria Chutzpah Award. New additions to the list of nominees are:

Norma Ellington
Rosilee Walker
Patrick McNamara
Lila Manion
Dale Hunziker

There have been several other nominees suggested, but I have decided that anyone who has run for any political office or occupies a political office cannot qualify. It's my award, I can be a hardass if I wanna.

Introducing the 2006 PollyPeoria Chutzpah Award. And the nominees are....

2006-05-25T09:10:00.000-05:00

I've noticed that Peoria has various entities that bestow awards on well deserving individuals. "Forty Under Forty" comes to mind. The YWCA recently honored Peoria City Clerk Mary Haynes for her exemplary service in government. No one deserves it more. How Mary greets every over the top request from media, citizens, and City Council with hard work, effort, and a smile is a miraculous mystery to say the least.

This morning I read that Bruce Brown was given the "Leaguer of the Year" award by the League of Women Voters. I wonder, did he have to dress in drag to accept that one? I like Bruce Brown. Energetic, optimistic, idealistic, and intelligent. A rare combination now days. However, every time I see him I am daunted by one question: "How does Bruce Brown stay SO tan 365 days a year?!" It is hard to imagine a guy like Bruce vain enough to go to a tanning salon or using bronzer, but Peoria is grey nine months of the year and the man spends most of his time cooking and slaving away at his Peoria Heights restaurant, Paparazzi.

Once again, I digress.

Anyhoo, it seems to Polly that the accolades go not only to the well deserving, but also to the well known. Perhaps the two go hand in hand. It seems to me that some credit should be paid to those who stand up and demand better for their neighborhoods. Those average Joans and Joes who attend charrettes, City Council meetings, organize neighborhood clean ups and block parties. The ones who are active in their Neighborhood Associations, plant flowers, and refuse to surrender their homes and streets to thugs who have nothing better to do than terrorize hard working, tax paying property owners.

I don't always agree with these people, but damn, I always admire their chutzpah. These folks aren't politicians, they aren't necessary media savvy, and they don't tend to dress up or practice sound bites for the camera. They just demand to be heard and cry "Foul!" when the rest of us are too tired, busy, shy, or just plain lazy to shoulder our fair share of civic burden.

The following folks come to mind:

Paul Wilkinson
Levetta Ricca
Karen Ratledge
Sara Partridge
Karrie Alms
Mitch Mitchell
Nancy Mitchell

I'm sure that I'm leaving a lot of well deserving people off the list, so I'm taking suggestions. As well as nominees, I would like ideas on a good prize. I'm looking for something meaningful and creative... in lieu of costly. Polly is on a strict budget. Way too much shoe shopping lately. I'm thinking about a golden (spray painted) megaphone.

You can leave a comment with your nominee and or prize suggestion, or e-mail it to pollypeoria@yahoo.com

An Exceedingly Long Post Regarding Washington Gifted (Puke) School.

2006-05-20T22:52:00.000-05:00

My neighbor's fourth grade son recently found out that he got into Washington Gifted Middle School. Jordan and his parents have been graciously low key about it. I wouldn't have known had I not noticed that Jordan has taken on the appearance of a true tween as of late, no longer willing to wear the well coordinated and clean attire that his mother previously picked for him. Lately, I would guess that Jordan picks his clothes out of the garbage dumpster located behind Goodwill. Poor hygiene and tattered clothes... key ingredients of a healthy heterosexual American male. Jordan is only ten, and thus a bit ahead of schedule.

Anyhoo, a couple of weeks back I was pulling weeds in my yard and watching Jordan shooting baskets in his driveway. It dawned on me that Jordie was no longer a cute puffy cheek little kid that could be bought off with a slightly burnt chocolate chip cookie. Instead, Jordan has become a sloppy, slouchy, sullen pre-teen. Angst without a cause. Cool without a clue. What fond memories. My mother is still in therapy.

"Hey Jordy!" I say with a smile and the sin of enthusiasm.

"Um, Ms. Polly? Like, nobody calls me that."

"They don't? Not even your mom?"

"Especially not my mom. Jeeze!"

"So, what do you go by these days?"

Ew. Polly made the mistake of trying too hard with a tween. I am screwed. This kid will definitely be throwing reams of toilet paper in my trees sooner rather than later. It was an honest mistake. I really thought the boy was going to tell me he had a street name to accessorize his recently acquired swagger.

The boy tilted his head back, sighs as if the world's problems rested on his shoulders alone, and gave me an eye roll before muttering a disgusted reply. "My name, Ms Polly. I go by my name. You know, Jordan?"

Polly can speak tween. Really, I can. One merely need to pretend that enunciating and projecting one's voice in a polite manner is as irritating and inconvenient as, say, plucking one's nose hairs.

"Yeah. Right. Jordan. Whatever. Middle school next year?"

"Yup."

"Which one?"

"Washington."

Polly is able to stop herself before saying something tragically uncool. You know, something to the effect of a perky "Congratulations!" or worse, "Your parents must be so proud!"

Instead, I opted for, "No surprise there." Perfect. Now the pre-pube has no idea how to respond in a hip manner.

After a brief pause Jordan shrugs and mutters, "Guess."

"Christy going too?" Christy is Jordan's twin sister who recently fell in love with her hair. Every time I see her, Christy has a hair brush in hand, pulling it through her mane. Yesterday I witnessed Christy brushing her hair while dragging a bag of garbage to the curb.

"Nope. Chris wouldn't even take the tests. She says Washington is a dank nerd hole."

"Is it?"

"I dunno. Orientation is tonight."

"Going?"

"I dunno. My dad's plane got delayed in Chicago. Mom has to work."

Polly has deep sympathy for anyone who must travel for a living. Lately, airports have come to resemble corporate cattle ranches. Substitute cattle for exhausted ticket holding business travelers and ranchers for airline employees who couldn't give a rat's ass about the people they are paid to serve and you'll get the picture. Except that I imagine ranchers actually care more about the well being of cows they are about to kill. But I digress...

"I could drop you off if your Dad doesn't get back in time."

"Um. That'd be okay."

Polly's good deed was really just an excuse to give up on exterminating my dandelions, plus I saw a rare opportunity to actually acquire a little knowledge on a topic -Peoria Public Schools- that I blog about rather often.

Say what you will about District 150. Poor schools, poor test scores, under achieving students, dilapidated buildings, etc. The very best middle school in the state is a District 150 school. Right here in little old Piddly Peoria. Washington Gifted Middle School. This fact made me proud until I attended to the orientation.

I imagined that Washington would consist of students that lived throughout the City, including the Southside and East Bluff of every color and socio-economic level. Ha! I saw two black kids in attendance. There were no kids from Loucks or Harrison. One from Whittier. Just about every kid hailed from Kellar, Charter Oak, or Northmoor Edison. It would seem that Washington Gifted could be more aptly named NORTH Peoria Gifted.

I learned that a combination of scores and factors are used to deem a child worthy of acceptance to Washington Gifted. The ITBS (Iowa Test of Basic Skills), Cognitive Abilities Test, as well as the Weschler Intelligence Scale test (an I.Q. test) as well as grades and teacher recommendation are required. I find it odd that one needs to do well on an I.Q. test to get into Washington, but not to get into Harvard University. It would seem District 150 doesn't just want hard working, high achieving performers, but those who are organically intelligent as well. In other words, DNA gets the nod. Puke.

Think I'm over blowing it? Consider this. Principal Joan Wojcikewych opening remarks included the statement, "Children, you should thank your parents for being here and admitted to Washington. Studies have proven time and again that gifted children come from gifted parents." I thought this was a joke, until I noticed that I was the only one in the room chuckling. Why would it be a joke? Ms. Wojcikewych felt the need to inform us that she had birthed and raised five gifted children herself. Puke.

It was an evening of gifted this and gifted that. Gifted. Gifted. Gifted. Got really sick of the word after about five minutes. I imagined that Washington would be the a place where kids who loved school and academics would have a place to shine and pursue their interests. More experiments and projects instead of pop quizzes and tests. Less need for discipline and greater freedom to explore. Forget that.

We were informed that a Washington eighth grader received one point short of a perfect score on the ACT test this year. ACT test? The scores used when applying for college? Why would an eight grader be taking the ACTs?! We heard how well Washington prepares kids for honors high school courses, ACTs, SATs and college. High school? College? Hello! THESE KIDS ARE TEN!!! Let them be kids for Pete's sake!

As for discipline, we were informed that five students were boot kicked out of Washington for poor performance last year. Not even a veiled threat. Gosh, so if your DNA doesn't live up to expectations they remove you from the better stock? THESE KIDS ARE TEN!!! Why would anyone want to put that kind of pressure on fifth graders? Puke. Puke. Puke.

Think I'm misinterpreting? Consider the following handout that was included in the orientation packet. Remember, this handout was given to those who had already been ACCEPTED to Washington Gifted.

HOW CAN YOU IDENTIFY A GIFTED CHILD? (Note: The Principal called special attention to this flyer. She wanted us to know that there is a difference between being gifted and "just being bright." Puke.)

The Bright Child...........................................The Gifted Child

Knows the answers.................................................Asks the questions.
Is interested......................................................Is highly curious.
Is attentive.....................................Is mentally and physically involved.
Has good ideas.................................................Has wild, silly ideas.
Works hard..............................................Plays around, yet tests well.
Answers the questions................................Discusses in detail, elaborates.
Is in top group..................................................Is beyond the group.
Listens with interest.............................Shows strong feelings and opinions.
Learns with ease.......................................................Already knows.
Needs 6-8 repetitions for mastery................Needs 1-2 repetitions for mastery.
Understands ideas............................................Constructs abstractions.
Enjoys peers..........................................................Prefers adults.
Grasps the meaning..................................................Draws inferences.
Completes assignments.............................................Initiates projects.
Is receptive..............................................................Is intense.
Copies accurately...............................................Creates a new design.
Enjoys school........................................................Enjoys learning.
Absorbs information..........................................Manipulates information.
Is a technician.......................................................Is an inventor.
Is a good memorizer................................................Is a good guesser.
Enjoys straightforward sequential presentation.............Thrives on complexity.
Is alert.........................................................Is keenly observant.
Is pleased with own learning.................................Is highly self-critical.

If you believe the above and your child is hard working, well adjusted, has good sense of self worth and is a top student... well, your offspring is simply not good enough for Washington Gifted.

On the other hand, if your kid is a genius due to biology, is socially retarded and highly self critical, and is one who "plays around, yet tests well...." Your kid is in the right place.

Puke. Puke. Puke. Biology over hard work? What are these people thinking?! Eugenics? Moreover, in this era of Bush's No Child Left Behind, how is it fair to take the best and the brightest out of schools like Lindberg and Mark Bills and place them in Washington? Doesn't that hurt "regular" schools which must show improvement every year on test scores in order to remain off the watch list?

I was a proud fan of Washington Gifted before I went to the orientation. Now I'm rather horrified. We don't live in a gifted world. Are we doing these kids any favors by having them off by themselves, alone with their "own kind" for four years? If these kids "prefer adults to peers" and spend their days with those who do as well, don't they run the risk of being social outcasts when they reach high school? Using these standards to determine who is and isn't gifted might really be setting these kids up for a lot of pain and disappointment rather than providing an enlightened education.

The orientation packet contained an enrollment form. The very first word on the form in uppercase bold letters "Washington", followed by the words "State" and "Background" were all spelled incorrectly. No. I'm not kidding. Apparently District 150's spellcheck isn't gifted.

Painful Cramping? Bloating? Stomach Discomfort?

2006-05-10T14:19:00.000-05:00

Nah. It isn't gas. It's just Polly's already swollen ego inflating even further. PollyPeoria got a nice write up in the Peoria Times North Observer today. Page 3. I wasn't even edited. I take back all the mean things I've ever written about you DeWayne Bartels!

My poor, poor significant other... I'm going to be SO hard to live with now. Er, as if I wasn't before. Yo! Babe, peel me a grape would cha? Also, I could really use a foot massage. Steak for dinner tonight, right?

Ah, glory and glamour of the wannabe famous/pseudoanonymous. Eat your heart out Vonster.

Kiss My Crown, Peoria!!!

To my thirteen devoted readers: Don't worry- Polly will be deflated and put in her proper place tonight by her beloved family, friends and co-workers. By tomorrow I anticipate I will return to my humble yet, know-it-all self.

Insight Cable Blows.

2006-05-08T14:42:00.001-05:00

It blows chunks, in fact.

My broadband was down for two days, because Insight is "upgrading." Now that I can once again receive the internet, I cannot find any discernible changes let alone upgrades. I did receive an urgent e-mail from Insight informing me that my service would be disrupted shorterm for yet even more upgrades in the next few days.

And I thought SBC sucked.

Anyway, Polly is seriously considering moving to the Peoria Airport. I can sleep on the benches. Watch sports on big screen t.v., and my laptop never has a problem receiving their FREE wi-fi. Hey! C.J! I finally found Utopia!

Upgrade the Airport? Why?!

2006-04-28T01:34:00.000-05:00

WEEK TV reports that our main airport guru is fighting for upgrades. You know what I think? If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Okay, I know we lost our direct flights to Denver and Orlando, but I still like the Peoria Airport. Free parking! Try finding that at any other airport. I feel safe at PIA, even late at night. The furnishings aren't modern, but they are spotlessly clean. PIA's bathrooms are the cleanest in town. The wi-fi works, works well, and is free. When my broadband is down, I've been known to go to PIA to suck up the free wi-fi. Frankly, what's not to like? The airport is rarely crowded, the staff is friendly. If you arrive with only a few minutes to spare before your flight, they still have time for the post 9/11 body cavity search without bitterness.

I know, I know, it costs quite a bit more to fly in and out of a smaller market like Peoria. When I'm not traveling on my bosses dime, I fly out of Chicago or St. Louis. However, even if they upgrade the airport, that won't change. A new terminal? Lots of huge airports have added palatial terminals for not. Unlike a new school building, a new terminal will not bring more people to Peoria. Airlines can't afford to locate hubs or add flights simply because a particular airport has plush surroundings. They go where the travelers go. They go where the money goes. Ever fly in or out of Chicago's Midway Airport? It is a cess pool. A busy, profitable cess pool.

The Peoria Airport is a blast from the past. A retro experience. I say recover the gate chairs in burnt orange, harvest gold, avocado green, and sea foam green vinyl, add a Starbucks to go along with the wi-fi, and call it a day.

This Just In From Councilman Bob Manning...

2006-04-24T22:58:00.000-05:00

Okay, it isn't "just" in. It came in awhile back, last Monday, April 17th to be exact. I work for a living -well, kinda- and I don't check my blog e-mail as often as I should. My apologies to the Councilman.

Anyhoo, a few posts back I accused Bob of not playing nice by giving snarky e-mails exchanged between himself and School Board members regarding the proposed new Glen Oak Park School to Jen Davis at the Journal Star. I thought it was tacky and went against Mayor Ardis' kinder, gentler, at-least-pretend-to-be-an-adult version of government. Polly stands humbly corrected:

Polly --
As was noted in the Word on the Street column, Jennifer Davis FOIA'd my emails with the School Board members. I did not volunteer them to her. When this whole story originally broke, she asked me if I had spoken with any School Board members about it. I said that I had emailed a couple of them with my concerns, but I did not name the board members. That was the end of it. Big questions remain. Why are School Board members, Peoria Park District trustees, and PHA officials planning in secret? Why do their timelines keep changing? Why have they failed, to this day, to share their comprehensive plans with the public and the City Council? Those who have already built model community schools elsewhere have stated that public dialogue, neighborhood input/support, and community participation were critical to the schools' success. None of this is being done in Peoria. These decisions will affect generations to come and will affect much more than just the East Bluff. I believe that we should get it right the first time around.
Bob Manning

Polly has never been so elegantly put in her place. Got to admit. I rather enjoyed it. What Bob is ever so politely trying to convey is that Polly should remove her head from her arse and read the entire article (not just every fifth word) before posting snide inaccuracies. Point taken. Bad blogger. Bad, bad blogger.

I still favor the idea of a new school. It seems to me that Glen Oak Park would be the perfect place for a community "B thru 8" school. Moreover, I think Glen Oak Park is a yet another beautiful but decaying Peoria landmark. A new school at the proposed location could do a lot for the park as well as the surrounding neighborhood and the East Bluff.

However, I readily admit that the School Board could not have come up with a more idiotic, controversial, dorkwad way of going about selling this idea to the Public.

BTW, isn't Manning cute?

This just in...

2006-04-20T18:44:00.000-05:00

THE GRANDVIEW HOTEL IS TO BE DEMOLISHED!!! The new owner of Junction City has closed on the property. Sometime this summer the dump is coming down. They are still debating as what to put up in its place. Anyone wanting to take a swing at the crime ridden cess pool may do so if they are willing to write a check for $500 to charity.

So, it is true. Chase has gone away. Rejoice Peoria. Rejoice.

Insight Sucks

2006-04-20T09:13:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the lack of posts. Could not get on the internet yesterday. All day. Some sort of maintenance issues that were not supposed to interrupt service but did, ALL DAY AND NIGHT. Called Insight and asked for a credit. My ears are still bleeding from the high pitched wails of laughter. Jerk wads.

I'm back!

2006-04-17T09:40:00.000-05:00

Sorry. It seems I brought San Francisco's gloomy weather back with me. Seriously, were it not for the incredible food at every turn, I would have felt my vacation sucked. We got rained out except for the last day, so I didn't get to do much of the San Francisco touristy stuff, which I admit I enjoy. San Francisco is such a pretty city, and not just because of its ocean view. People take a lot of pride in the appearance of their homes, property, and public parks. From what I witnessed, litter is rare, even in the less affluent neighborhoods. Wish we could import some of that pride and attitude to Peoria.

I ended my news blackout yesterday and I wish I hadn't. Iran is training 40,000 suicide bombers to react if the U.S. is successful in halting its nuke progress?! Welcome to the new Cold War, people.

Today's Word on the Street column echoes a familiar theme. What is with secret meetings and local government? The School Board and Park District stole a page or two from the Ran$burg/Nixon book of politics and quietly decided where the new school should be located without public or, worse, City Council input. Third District Councilman Bob Manning is peeved, and glibly shared private e-mails proving as much with the Journal Star. Cute, but remember paybacks are a bitch, Bob. I seriously doubt publishing those e-mails are going to do anything for the much bragged about new and improved City Council and District 150 School Board relations. Methinks Mayor Ardis needs to sit Manning down and sing a round or two of "Michael Row Your Boat Ashore."

If the public doesn't want the new school to be located in Glen Oak Park in won't happen. If home owners don't want to sell to the District, they won't. Emanate domain, you say? Lawsuits, I say. Plenty of them. Really expensive ones too. Polly's prediction: The School will happen in the proposed space or not at all. The idea of a new school is more controversial than the location. I would be willing to wager that most of the homeowners along that strip of Propsect would be happy to sell for a halfway decent price. Based on 30 million dollar toilet seats, and Government's general tendency to overpay, District 150 will pay more than homeowners could ever get on the open market and they know it. Did anyone else hear East Bluff homeowners jumping up and down, joyfully rejoicing after OSF's grand expansion announcement? Commonsense would lead one to believe that people who live in crummy, high crime neighborhoods would likely leave them if they had the funds to do so.

Concerns about traffic on Prospect are bogus. People don't let their kids walk to school anymore. Check the state police website. There are almost a thousand registered sexual perverts in the East Bluff zip code alone. Even if kids did walk, safety could be addressed by building pedestrian bridges or overpasses. Moreover, the state's best middle school, Washington Gifted, is located on War Memorial, which is far busier and dangerous than piddly Prospect any day.

While munching Dim Sum in China Town, I caught a snippet of the Oprah Show. She did a special on American public schools in crisis. Oprah interviewed an expert who, I thought, made a valid point. Habitat matters. Kids who attend crummy, crumbling schools don't feel valued by society. The message Society sends, and what these kids hear is, "We don't value you. We don't expect you to succeed. We aren't going to waste our time or energy making an investment in your future."

Is there anything more dangerous than low expectations? I keep reading on my and other blogs comments like, "Glen Oak School was good enough for me 'back in the day', why isn't it good enough now?" Well, Pops, Glen Oak School and institutions like it were still nice "back in the day." Back in the day, society cared enough to build and maintain institutions that were good enough for and worthy of you. Times have changes. Codes have changed. Standards have changed. Buildings have decayed. Kids need to learn much, much, much more than readin, 'ritin, 'rithmetic to succeed in the modern world. "Back in the day" a high school education was more than adequate. Today, my plumber uses a computer, and my car mechanic requires more technical knowledge than the biggest science geek alive "back in the day."

I am gulping Pepto by the gallon after writing a check in the five digits to Uncle Sam yesterday. No, I'm not rich. This year the NYSE was kind to me, and, thus, I must be kind Uncle Sam. Nonetheless, I still have a budget. I still work to make ends meet. I hate taxes, mostly because I can't shake the feeling that most of my tax money goes towards government waste and not basic services. Regardless, I would be willing to pay significantly more if we could do right by properly educating today's kids.

After all, do you want an educated accountant or a disgruntled thug picking out your nursing home?

Polly is here:

2006-04-11T12:40:00.000-05:00

But if it makes anyone feel better, I left my heart in Peoria. Well, a bit of it anyway. Actually, what really might bring joy, comfort and a hearty "Nah, Nah, Nah Nah!" to my thirteen devoted fans -That's twelve more than Luciano and ten more than Mike Bailey, by the way- is the fact that it is warmer in Peoria than northern California. It's sweatshirt weather here.

I checked the Journal Star on line this morning, it seems that you all have found plenty of trouble without my help. Note to self. No more Downtown bar hopping.

Can I tell you? The food they have in this town is incredible! And the coffee is to die for. It is a blessing that the weather is not swimsuit worthy. After yesterday's numerous meals and chocolate truffles, I don't think I can fit my arse into a swimming suit ever again. Totally worth it.

I will post when I can. Try to be good. And if anyone sees Chase, someone give him a good smack for me, will ya? His comments on the proposed new school are as vile as ever. (I would censor the jerk, but this IS America and you can be wrong/a racist asswipe if you wanna. Then again, it is MY blog...)

Off to eat pasta in North Beach.

Love,

Polly

Polly's Reply

2006-04-07T11:15:00.001-05:00

Sean,

Thanks for replying. Your answers provide some comfort. However, I take issue with your contention:

"There has been only one decision by the District, and that is where
the school will be located. We feel that is solely our call based on
what we believe is best for the children who will attend the school."

Solely the Board's call? Not likely. Kind of begging to be put in your place on that one, Sean. The sole commandment and most important element of real estate is, of course, LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION. The location of this proposed school will remain the most controversial element of the entire plan and therefore the Public should have been privy to it before said decision was cast. Polly predicts "the one decision [made] by the District" will be the first one vetoed by the public. Considering the location would require homes to be demolished and that the proposed property trade with the Housing Authority could result in public subsidized housing built on the old Glen Oak School site, it amazes me that the School Board didn't predict public outrage on its location "decision."

I appreciate and admire the District's relatively low debt. However, the District still has seven years until its current debt is paid. It is too early to celebrate by acquiring more debt, which is what a bond represents. Moreover, the District needs to come up with a plan to reign its personnel costs before the Public will embrace any new construction. You could build the public school B-8 equivalent of Harvard, but unless and until The Board solves its "annual spending problem", the best new school will solve nothing. In fact, you will ruin the one thing the District may have going for it- it's comparable low debt. No person, business, or institution with a serious "cash flow problem" would be well advised to solve the situation with yet more debt.

As I see it, The Board has four options:

1. Cut waste and/or expenses, (Think Edison)

2. Re-negotiate contracts/benefits with Unions, (Think strike)

3. Raise taxes, (Think bodyguard)

4. Combination of the above. (Think riots)

I think number four is the most responsible alternative, although it won't be popular. I'd rather chew glass than take your job. If your goal is to make Peoria Public Schools the place where parents want to have their kids get an education LONG TERM, The Board must admit and respond to all of its financial problems/mistakes. Otherwise a new school, regardless of its location, is simply frosting on a manure cake.

God speed,

Polly

I'm starting to like this guy...

2006-04-07T09:30:00.000-05:00

I received another fine e-note from School Board Vice President Sean Matheson this morning, replying to my last post. He is succinct in answering/justifying some common concerns so I'm posting his entire letter:
Polly,

I know as soon as I write these words that they are instant fuel for
the "District 150 is run by idiots" machine, but here goes nonetheless:
we don't actually have a "plan" to show you.

But there is a reason for this. The plan as to how the school will
look, its footprint on its site, and the community programs it will
offer (such as a health and dental clinic, Peoria Public Library branch,
senior citizen exercise and meeting rooms, etc) are all intended to be
determined by a 2-3 day community charrette starting in May or June.

There has been only one decision by the District, and that is where
the school will be located. We feel that is solely our call based on
what we believe is best for the children who will attend the school.

There are some fundamental beliefs on what the school should be like,
though, that guided that decision. It will house students from 6 weeks
old through 8th grade (what we call B-8). It will be air conditioned and
be open well into the evening and weekends for community use. It will
incorporate LEED (or high energy efficiency) design characteristics that
will keep our costs of running it down. And it will have room for
students to run and play and learn in green areas, not on blacktop.

As for the financing, these two new schools (and the ones to follow)
are critical to our cost cutting strategy of consolidating two older,
educationally outdated schools into one new, educationally appropriate
school (I can explain what we mean by "educationally appropriate", but
it would be another longer email). District 150 has an amazingly low
debt level. Indeed, we are scheduled to repay almost all of our existing
bonds over the next seven years or so. We will structure repayment of
our new construction bonds so that as our existing bonds retire, we will
begin paying off the new ones. This will allow us to keep the tax rate
steady, i.e. no increase. Or to put it more simply, District 150's
financial problems are all in its annual spending (91% of it personnel
costs), not in its overall financial health. We are cash-flow poor, but
luckily unencumbered by debt.

I am sure you may have more questions, but I don't want to bog you
down with an endlessly long email. If you would like to post some
questions on your blog with my responses, I would be willing to do that.

Best,

Sean

Bloggers get the COOLEST e-mail...

2006-04-06T17:20:00.000-05:00

I have got to check my blog e-mailbox more often. Most of Polly's in box consists of the posted comments from my beloved fans and foes, which are automatically sent to my e-mail account. Since I read your comments whenever I login to my blog, I tend to get lazy when it comes to reading my PollyPeoria e-mail. After today, I am resolved to be more diligent.

I received this lovely e-note from School Board Member Sean Matheson:

Dear Polly,

I was relieved to see you were interested in studying the new
school site we are contemplating - not everyone is giving us that
chance. I was wondering if you would like to get together over
coffee or a beer to discuss the issue. I would just like the
opportunity to make our case and for you to to grill me before you
decide whether to oppose or endorse our plans.

And since I am letting you use that picture of me talking on the
phone outside my trailer, isn't it the least you could do? ;-)

Sean Matheson

Sean, I would love nothing more than to take you up on the offer, but I got this demure-mystery-woman-anonymous-persona to keep up. Although the thought of free beer is really tempting... I am trying to independently gather as much info as I can. Is there someone I could call in order to obtain a written copy of the plans? I tried the Admin Bldg. on Wisconsin, they thought I was on crack.

I also want thank Scott for his lovely pic of his very hairy gams. Sorry, Dude, your legs are NOT hotter than mine, but your bathroom looks quite superior. Scott has a very sex red bathtub. Sigh. I am giving up on my feeble attempts at home improvement. Anyone know a good contractor? Or a talented Arsonist?

By the way, Scott has a really nice blog. I read through the whole thing today. Good stuff.

Are All Local Politicians On Crack?

2006-04-05T09:13:00.000-05:00

Consider the evidence:

Peoria District 150 School Board renews Edison contract, submits plans for a swank new school in a controversial area, guaranteed to produce numerous lawsuits, while trying to find it's way out of an $17 million dollar deficit.

City Council has cut back on the most essential of basic services, fire fighting. In the wake of disasters like 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina, the lesson our Council has learned is that Peoria must be immune from horrid disasters. This immunity allows Council to be completely comfortable gifting a TIF to one of America's most profitable corporations to fund an underground parking lot for a museum no one (okay, a few CAT executives and local politicians) really give a rat's ass about.

Peoria Park District just has to have a bigger, better zoo. BTW, have you seen the very tacky, albeit very expensive, "Get Behind The New Zoo" billboards in town? The Park District thought donations would come pouring in, but they haven't. Instead of taking the hint that citizens, otherwise known as TAXPAYERS, don't desire a new zoo the Park District has decided to pursue forced donations, also known as TAXES.

If it is legal for companies to require drug testing as a condition of employment, I think periodic drug testing should be mandatory for public "servants" as well.

Caterpillars Can Be Such Parasites

2006-04-05T00:44:00.000-05:00

Ouch. That's got to hurt. I speak of the enormous chip on City Council's shoulder. Said chip apparently requires ten members of City Council to bend over and give Caterpillar whatever it wants whenever it wants it. Hey, Guys (and Gal) ask yourselves, "If the City were to have a referendum asking Joe and Joan Blow Taxpayer to help chip in for a museum- let alone a hoity underground city owned but not operated parking garage, would such a measure pass?" NO! IT WOULD NOT! WHY WOULD WE GIVE A TIF TO CAT, OF ALL COMPANIES?! It's not like CAT is going down the toilet with GM, Delphi, or most airlines.

You know the only guaranteed profitable, crowd pleasing, major draw and attraction of the museum will be? The CAT center. You know why? Very few people would be motivated to turn off a re-run of Saved By The Bell in order to take an in depth tour about Peoria. Might be sad, but it is true. Now, getting one off his or her lard ass to take little Junior down to the CAT center to play with virtual tractors... Now, that's a good time! Get to use my new camcorder too! In fact, I would like to book Junior's tenth birthday party now, thanks. Lil Junior will be the envy of Peoria Academy, I tell you. Er... but I digress.

Why can't we build what we can afford ("we" defined as the very profitable company that is CATERPILLAR), and then and if it turns out to be the overnight, stunning sensation/success everyone ("everyone" defined as a handful of CAT executives and local politicians) says it will be, add on to it?

If CAT wants a friggin visitor's Center, and frankly I don't blame them- big tractors and dump trucks are really cool, plus John Deere has a "pavilion"- why do they need tax money/TIFs to do it? They don't. But what the hell, why not ask?

When I turned sixteen I asked my parents for a new car. What warm, happy memories I had of that conversation as I rode my bike to my job at McDonald's for the next two years. Nothing wrong with asking. Can't hurt, right? My parents still have a chuckle at my expense now and then. "Remember that time when Pol asked for a new car? Just because she was 16 and wanted one? What a crazy kid. Thought she was dropping acid for sure."

It does hurt when CAT asks for fluff because the City gives and taxpayers fund this unnecessary crap while schools and sidewalks crumble and Peoria's most dangerous neighborhoods continue to spiral downward. After tonight, does anyone really think we won't be subsidizing a swank hotel?

I'm thinking most of City Council must be toking it up with the majority of the School Board. Did you ever wonder what became of the Stoners at your high school? Now you know. They "grew up," got elected, and for some bizarre reason they are still desperately trying to please/suck up to the popular/rich kids. Puke.

Did everyone remember to renew their memberships at the Riverplex? Yeah, that's what I thought.

Hell Freezes Over. Blog Leads to Job Offer.

2006-04-04T09:52:00.000-05:00

Well, kinda. Sort of. Not full time or anything, and I have no idea if this entity would being willing to pay for my pithy writing style, but nonetheless, I am very flattered. Of course, I can't take said offer because I would have to stop being the head dorkwad of my department at my current place of employment. I've already spent my raise and had new business cards printed up. I am not allowed to moonlight.

Moreover, I would have to give up my pseudo anonymous status, which I have come to rather enjoy. I'm not really anonymous anymore. During my lunch hour yesterday someone actually shouted, "Hey! PollyPeoria! You suck!" at me as I was feasting on a Cuban wrap from Roly Poly in front of the courthouse. What are the chances that one of my thirteen devoted readers would share the same lunch hour and location as me? Felt like a bit like a minor celebrity.

Mmmm.... I'm starting to get hungry. Is it lunch time yet? I'm thinking lemongrass chicken from the Thang Ling push cart today.

The one thing you can ALWAYS count on...

2006-03-31T14:43:00.000-06:00

Put this in the same category as, "What goes up must come down."

District 150 will ALWAYS take the path of MOST resistance. ALWAYS. I'm still studying the new Glen Oak Park School/Disney Land Plan. I will concede up front that it has some REALLY, REALLY, good elements. It is forward thinking, which just might be the primary ingredient Peoria Public Schools require to get out of its current mess, so I'm not going to pooh-pooh it out of hand.

However, the TIMING (on the heels of the Edison vote) and the delivery (total lack of frugality) is awful. It's like the School Board enjoys alienating the public.

But then, I do think the majority of the Board is on drugs. I'm going to study this over the weekend and refrain from further comment until I know more.

Jeeze!

Best. Quote. Ever.

2006-03-28T00:01:00.000-06:00

.

"Little girls ought to love themselves the way they are; grown women ought to know better." -Eyebrows McGee

Don't worry, she's being sarcastic. I tell you, the more I read this woman's blog, the more I want to be her. Don't worry Eyebrows, I could never match your nerdiness, and I don't have the energy to be a stalker.

Someday I hope you and Mr. McGee have a daughter.

Crack Smoking District 150 School Board Members.

2006-03-27T22:26:00.000-06:00

Yup. Remember, you read it here first. The majority of the District 150 School Board must be on drugs, most likely of the highly addictive and hallucinogenic variety. The frequent use of said drugs would be the only logical explanation behind tonight's School Board meeting. It is no wonder why so many of our public schools are in serious trouble. It isn't the fault of the kids. The real problem is that the people at the helm are drug addicted numbskulls!!!

Tonight the School Board voted to renew the Edison contract for another year. Nifty. No problem. Lots of folks in red shirts showed up to support Edison. If one were to buy into the logic of Edison proponents, one would believe tht overnight all Edison students will become drug addicted retards, just like school board members, should the program be eliminated. Many a story of woe was heard of how District 150 could NOT afford to NOT continue with Edison. Apparently the parents of Edison students and other proponents fail to realize that Peoria's Blue Ribbon Schools and those Schools that meet or exceed State test score standards are not Edison schools. Nonetheless, four members of the School Board were convinced to fork over millions of more dollars it doesn't have in order to keep Edison around for another year.

Anyone else recall Alicia Butler on the evening news last week stating that the District had to fire 60 teachers it recently hired?! Must have been a wild dream or perhaps a contact high.

Yet, none of the above justifies my conclusion that school board members are smoking some mighty fine weed. What leads me to conclude that some board members are toking it up long and hard is that at this very same meeting these potheads also voted to borrow money in order to pay the District's bills. At a minimum, the loan will cost District 150 taxpayers $130,000 in interest. I seriously doubt it will cost us more than $132,000 because what idiot would borrow even more money in order to make payments on previous loans? My guess? Ganja loving school board members, that's who! It's the only thing that makes any sense.

You know, Edison may well provide an excellent education. A Mercedes Benz may very well be a superior car than the current pile of crap I currently drive. However, since there is no way in hell I can responsibly make payments on a Mercedes, I will continue to drive the aforementioned piece of crap for the foreseeable future. Most days the piece of crap I drive beats having to walk, but not always. If I insisted on driving a Mercedes I would be forced to rob a bank. Moreover, I would occasionally need to rob more banks in order to keep up with payments and maintenance on the Benz. Can you imagine the stress? You know, a slightly less deranged plan would be to rob a bank only once and either fix up the piece of crap car I currently own, or upgrade to a Tercel, maybe even a Camry. You know, basic reliable transportation.

Any parent in Peoria who has kids they love in public schools and can afford to move to Dunlap, Germantown Hills, or Metamora but hasn't is a fool.

From now on, I want every candidate for school board to submit to and publish the results of both a piss and an I.Q. test.

The Cows Still Won't Come Home - Lincoln Day Dinner 2006

2006-03-26T22:49:00.000-06:00

More of a chicken than a cow, this pic of Oberweis is more flattering than he deserves.

Just returned from the Peoria Republican Lincoln Day Dinner. I want a law that no politician or want to be politician will be allowed to make a impromptu speech. If an impromptu speech is required, a timing device will be implemented and said Pol/Speaker will limit him/herself to three minutes. Five tops. I paid my $50.00. Let me eat already! Aaron Schock was the Master of ceremonies and the always respectful young lad came with a well prepared, rehearsed, and funny speech. Just about everyone else rambled on and on and on...

My favorite part of the evening was when Pat Ward sang "America the Beautiful." I don't know the woman, apparently she is a county board candidate for the First District. Can I tell you? The woman can sing. I loved her. Ms. Ward is African-American, came swathed in gold lame, and her voice and style would have done the best gospel choir proud. I nearly put my hands up in the air and started swaying. At the last second I regretfully realized that I was neither black or Baptist and that I was in a room filled to capacity with other uptight, timid white folks also on the verge of shouting, "Praise the Lord and/or Jesus!" Fortunately, we all controlled our repressed selves, but we did give Ms. Ward a standing ovation.

This event was advertised as a "Unity Dinner" and all four Republican candidates Governor for promised to come, regardless if they won or lost. I know. I figured it was worth the price of the ticket just to see if Oberweis and Gidwitz could face a room of fellow Republicans after blatantly and repeatedly breaking the 11th Commandment. (For "Independents," Democrats, and those too young or don't care to remember, Ronald Reagan decreed that No Republican shall speak ill of another Republican.)

Well of course, neither Gidwitz or Oberweis had the testicular fortitude to show. No big surprise, really. However, a Schock aide told me that Aaron originally called Oberweis and invited him to the Dinner, asking Oberweis to show only if he emerged the victor. Oberweis said, "Win or lose. I want to be at your Dinner. I will come no matter what." Thus, the event was hailed as a "Unity Dinner."

Oberweis was the first to cancel, the day after the primary. Heh. Gidwitz was a no show, still off somewhere licking his wounds. Bill Brady attended, sat at the head table, and gave a great speech for Topinka. Kinda got the feeling he would be making copies or licking stamps for her campaign starting tomorrow.

Gidwitz and Oberweis refused to sign the Republican Code of Campaign Ethics, which among other things, had candidates promise to abide by the 11 Commandment. Oberweis may have took second overall, but he did not do particularly well here. Neither did Gidwitz.

Many State big wigs were there. Schock, McKenna, Leitch, LaHood, Risinger, and Topinka (who was a bit over caffeninated/hyper and spoke for WAY too long). Fewer folks from the City attended. Mayor Ardis, George Jacob, and Patrick Nichting showed, but John Morris, Bob Manning, and Eric Turner were no shows. Morris missed an opportunity to cozy up to State party leaders!? Gosh, I sincerely hope there wasn't a death in the family or something. Oh, and Chuck Grayeb wasn't there either.

I didn't see Zan or David Ran$burg- even though they purchased a table. Neither were his (former?) buddies Teplitz or Thetford. In fact, of all the City politicians who ran this time last year and who repeatedly stated oh how important the Republican Party and Principles were to them- only Ardis and Nichting bothered showing up this year. As Ran$burg's Campaign Manager, Maloof was at the Dinner last year, but could not be bothered this year. I think mostly volunteers filled the room. Most people present had stuffed envelopes, made calls, written checks, etc. for people who, in hindsight, stood for self promotion and not for Republican ideals, beliefs, or principles.

I know, I know. Not shocking. Just disappointing.

There were some local politicians who were present tonight and who are present at just about every Republican function- regardless of who is at the helm. Merle Widmer, Reg Willis, Bonnie Gavin, Mary Haynes and as previously mentioned, Pat Nichting. If you're not Republican and maybe even if you are- you probably don't care. Maybe you don't appreciate the Party's ideals, and that's fine. I don't like all of them either. That isn't my point.

The elected and unelected are suppose to stand for something win or lose. Didn't they tell us they were running because they were scared for our City/County/State/Country and wanted to do anything to improve the situation? Didn't they say they loved our great City/County/State/Country and just wanted the opportunity to serve? Participate in the process? Make government better? Didn't they give us the feeling that were they not running for office they would be out collecting litter or working at a soup kitchen?

I know, I know. Not shocking. Just disappointing.

If Peoria Sucks, Chances Are, It's YOUR Fault.

2006-03-22T15:15:00.000-06:00

An 82% chance, in fact.

Peoria have too much litter for you? Too many crappy sidewalks? Too much crime? Peoria's Public Schools not worthy of your genetic offspring? Well, since 82% of Peoria's registered voters could not bother to get off their pathetic, whiny, lard asses and vote yesterday, I don't see why the powers that be should be motivated to make the necessary changes. It's not as if the apathetic and lazy citizens they represent are likely to show up and boot kick them out their jobs.

UNLESS, of course, the weather is really nice and there is nothing good on T.V. Jeeze. I thought Midwesterners had CHARACTER. A chill in the air and a couple of inches of purty white stuff keeps Peorians from voting. Sad state of affairs if you ask me. Yes, I did vote yesterday. There was even a bit of a line. I noticed that every other voter at my polling station had at least thirty years on me. I would guess the median age of the average voter in my precinct yesterday was 72. The average age of election judge was probably 75. I got the feeling these seniors didn't care much for the new technology, but they were there regardless. They call it the Greatest Generation for a reason.

This is a quote from this morning's PJ Star:

"Voting is a privilege," said Bob Miller, 73, of Chillicothe. He was one of the few who braved the weather to vote. "The weather doesn't bother me."

No wonder why it is hard to get decent candidates. NO ONE CARES. If you want to get something done, NO ONE CARES. Okay, a measly 18% care, but does that make the crummy pay, constant media criticism, and time away from family worth it? Not likely. Springfield is attractive to the corrupt and vain for a reason...

NO BODY CARES!!!

Maybe Peorians can remove their heads from their apathetic, lazy asses for the General Election, but I'm not holding my breath.

(BTW I copied this pic from another blog early last week, but I can't remember whose. My apologies and hat tip to whoever first discovered it on Google.)

A Game You Just Gotta Try!!!

2006-03-21T19:59:00.000-06:00

It's the Blago Game! Sure to bring hours, well, minutes anyway, of entertainment, education, and just plain fun.

At Last! A Nice Helping of Common Sense!

2006-03-21T19:38:00.000-06:00

Yup. A new blog, and it's a doozy. Commonsense Peoria. I just discovered it today. Must say, "Commonsense Dude" comes out of the gate strong. All posts are interesting and well worth your time.

Polly Only Aims to Please

2006-03-21T13:59:00.000-06:00

*
Because... Bill Dennis says what he really enjoys is...

CHICKS WITH NICE, BIG KNOCKERS...

Whatever gets you through the day, Buddy. I try not to judge...

NO EXCUSES!!! GET OFF YOUR LARD ASS AND VOTE!!!

2006-03-21T09:15:00.000-06:00

I know it is snowing. I know it is cold. I know you are busy. I just don't give a rat's ass. We have young kids fighting and dying in Iraq every day trying to secure another country's right to have a say in their government, the least you can do is leave the comfort of your barcolounger or cubicle and let your opinion be known. Even if your opinion is wrong. It's not like you have to dodge bullets or anything. I really don't care if you have to wait in the cold for a bus or walk three miles in the snow. Chances are you don't, but even if you do, you carry far less of a burden than voters in other countries who turn out en mass for the opportunity to be heard.

There is no bigger shame or embarrassment than our country's poor voter turn out. Nothing does more to confirm the belief in the world's eye that Americans don't deserve/earn the freedom and opportunities we have than our inability to get off our collective arrogant and obese asses and get to the polls.

Besides, fellow blogger Eyebrows McGee is stuck being an election judge for about fifteen hours today and she will get paid a little bit of nothing to serve the pathetic few who bother to cast ballots. There are few jobs more tedious than election judge. She actually volunteered for the post. God bless you Eyebrows.

I feel for the candidates today. All that work, all that door-to-door knocking, shaking of hands, kissing babies, making calls, and then snow on election day. Strongly favored candidates have been known to lose due to a few flakes of snow. Lazy voters tend to think "Ah, I don't wanna brush the snow off my car. Topinka and/or Blago has it hands down anyway. I don't need to bother." Meanwhile the little known underdogs have die hard supporters who would be willing to duck gun fire to cast a ballot...

Go Edwin Eisendrath!!!

Polly Apologizes

2006-03-20T13:20:00.000-06:00

I have been remiss about checking my blog e-mail. Too bad because there are some really great letters/ideas/new blogs/etc awaiting response in my virtual in-box. Life has been demanding lately, and I will respond to all of you eventually. Polly prizes both her fans and her enemies.

I especially want to apologize to Dr. John Carroll who has a new blog and also wrote me a letter I should have posted a long time ago regarding Peoria's lack of adequate fire/rescue service. I will do right by the issue Doc... just as soon as I can.

SA: I have posted regarding District 150 on more than a few occasions. I whole heartedly believe good, successful Peoria Public Schools are the key ingredient necessary to attract new businesses and tax paying brainacs to the area. In all fairness, I am related to a District 150 third grader who discussed fulcrums at length over dinner last night. After her lecture on fulcrums, she followed with a discussion of the mode, the mean and the median. These concepts were not introduced to me until college in my required physics and statistics courses... and even then they made me cry. I know District 150 first graders studying fractions. There are underachievers and problem schools in District 150, to be sure. There also good Peoria schools (Hines, Kellar, Charter Oak, Whittier to name a few), with dedicated teachers, parents, and students who accomplish and excel. We don't hear about them very often. Remember, the best middle school in the state is right here in Peoria- Washington Gifted.

Home of the Braves!

2006-03-20T09:36:00.000-06:00

Wow!

Call me arrogant and/or superstitious, but since it worked so well the last two games, Polly predicts...

Memphis is gonna crush Bradley. Memphis is going to make the Braves cry like a group of lost pioneers surrounded by hostile Indians.

(Before anyone fire bombs my house, please read my previous post on this subject.)

A Dish and A Dis, Two Restaurant Reviews

2006-03-19T11:02:00.000-06:00

Ate at Seven on Prospect last night, again. Good stuff. Always. I had the "Magnificent Seven" which is essentially every seafood known to man gathered in a tasty roma tomato sauce and slathered over pasta. My mouth waters at the memory.

Last night's dinner almost, but not quite, made up for the rather sorry dining experience I had earlier in the week at the new Basta Pasta also located on Prospect, and owned by the same folks who never fail to please me at Seven.

Basta Pasta blew. It blew chunks. I ordered the Greggio Pasta dish, which was supposed to be tenderloin served over fresh pasta served with a unique zesty sauce. In reality it was a very dry, overcooked and overpriced piece of meat propped up on a mound of overcooked bow tie noodles covered in a luke warm sauce I swear came out of a French's salad dressing bottle.

Any restaurant can have an off night. Normally I wouldn't be so harsh. My Significant Other ordered the Basta Pasta, which was as spicy and tasty as it was at the former location. However, the serving size was approximately a third of what it used to be. When I pointed out the new serving size my S.O.-who fears cardiac arrest- muttered, "Thank God." S.O. saw things my way when I pointed out that we were paying just as much for the petite portion as we paid for the former vat 'o pasta portion.

All would be forgiven except for the snooty policy of Basta. Our nieces, ages 6 and 10 joined us for dinner. Both adore any type of noodle -have yet to meet a kid who doesn't- and were looking forward to trying out the "New Basta" as they both really liked the "Old Basta." New Basta is trying to pose a haute Manhattan boutique restaurant, complete with a curt "Well behaved children welcome" posted on the menu. There is no children's menu, which is fine, the girls were happy to split an entree of spaghetti and meatballs. We were fined an eight dollar "plate fee" to do so. SNOBS. We specifically asked our waitress if this policy applied when well behaved children were involved. Our experience has been that even snotty Manhattan restaurants don't charge plating fees when kids are involved. Our waitress rolled her eyes and sighed, "Yes." Hey! Basta! You are located in PEORIA HEIGHTS. This is the Mid West, NOT Manhattan. You are a pasta joint, NOT an uppity French Restaurant. BTW, French Toast doesn't charge plating fees. Corking fee, yes. Plating fee, no.

It's back to Paparrazzi for Italian. Bruce Brown knows how to make a killer eggplant parmesan and is always nice to kids - well behaved or not!