If your mind is too open, your brain will fall out. Warning: Names, identities, descriptions, and pictures have been changed and/or used to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. PollyPeoria should not be used or quoted as a source for your senior college thesis.

Tuesday, May 8

Meet Michael Little


This is the thug-loser-low-life-piece-of-scum-smelly-feces-rotting-on-the-sole-of society's-shoe-too-stupid-to-blow/pick-his-own-nose who assaulted Third District Councilman Bob Manning after his car was struck by a child on a bicycle. Manning, responsible and a gentleman to the core, stopped, offered aide, called the police on his cell phone, and attempted to explain to Little that he wasn't out cruising trying to hit kids darting out on bikes from behind parked cars. Little didn't want to strain his allegedly small brain in order to comprehend the situation. Little also didn't want to help or comfort the child. Instead, Little slugged Manning in the face, fracturing his eye socket in several places. Having made a contribution, Little then took off with his allegedly tiny, tiny, tail between his legs.

We should forgive Little. Little isn't just his last name. It is who he is. Word in the 'hood is that Little not only has abnormally small genitals but has an even smaller brain. This would give just about any man a big chip on his shoulder. When police caught up with Little, (which didn't take very long or effort as the stupid are easy to find) they found an open bottle of booze in his car and and a revoked license in his otherwise empty wallet. Little's excuse for assaulting Manning? He thought Manning was going to flee. If broken bones and surgery were not involved, Little's excuse would be pretty damn funny. The only person who fled was Little himself. Let us pray that States Attorney Catch and Release Kevin Lyons attempts to put this dangerous twit -with a history of violence- behind bars for more than a day or two. I know... I know... don't hold your breath.

Bob, I hope that cute baby blue heals quickly and that this awful episode doesn't put a damper in your desire to help the Third District and Peoria. Obviously, we need you.

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