Scarlett has a headache after the big party at the sorority house last night.

Being a good, kind, sympathetic big sister, I snapped this photo before getting the aspirin and giving her a neck massage....

Jennifer and Molly need eye candy.

Well, they do if they are going to keep up the current "tee hee hee" tone used for the Word on the Street column. I agree with The Peoria Pundit. Everything reported in today's column is really old news. We already knew who got votes for to fill the At-Large seat gifted Jacob months and months ago. In fact, I think it was Molly and Jen who "broke" that news originally. Pat Sullivan not stepping up to run for his old buddy's state senate seat is old news too (ahem). What disturbs me more than the regurgitation of well known facts is the tone of the article. It is as flip as anything Liz Smith writes or a hormonal girl in Junior High writes in a note passed during Algebra class. Nothing wrong with it, but I think the duo (BTW, it takes two fine journalists to come up with these nuggets of old news?) should join the rest of us unpaid dorks/gossip hounds in blogosphere if they plan to keep it up. Moreover, gossip should always include eye candy. Always.

It is so hard to get out of bed on a cold Sunday morning.

Even Mrs. Witherspoon agrees.

Because sometimes I can be both mean and petty.

I need to know, once and for all, who does Dave Ran$burg most look like? Until recently, I've always thought Willy Nilly was dead on with Porky Pig. Last summer commenter Snazzybird brought to my attention that Humpty Dumpty and Dave could have been separated at birth. Anyway, I think Ran$burg may attempt to re-enter Peoria's political scene at some point, and I want to get an early start on all the sick humor. Hey, there's nothing quite like getting the Holidays started off right. I'm taking a poll. Please vote. Who does Ran$burg look like more?

This guy...
Or... this guy?



Update: I woefully forgot to add this guy:

Former Mayor Dave has been referred to as the Pillsbury Dough Boy for quite sometime. Whereas I can see the resemblance in body type and skin color, the Dough Boy is just too happy to be Dave. I mean, has anyone ever witnessed Ran$burg laugh, let alone giggle like a little girl? But I have been wrong before (more than once even) so I am adding Dough Boy to the ballot for your consideration. Your vote counts! Vote early and often.

You wanna know what Victoria's big secret is?

The "secret" is that Victoria is a hussy, obviously. Browsing through the Victoria Secret Catalogue this evening, I asked my significant other, "Do you like this gown?" Significant Other really didn't care much about the gown, but asked if I could just stand in the same pose for awhile. Huh. Not quite sure what this comment reveals about my significant other, but I think it might be important.

BTW...Why does this woman look so cranky? I don't think her face conveys a seductive look. I think it's more a, "this friggin garment itches like crazy and these four inch heels are killing me, so could you take the damn picture already?!" I know, I know, what heterosexual male is looking at her face? Blah. Blah. Blah. I've purchased stuff from VS a time or two. It always falls apart the third time through the washing machine.

Yes, Gentlemen, lingerie must be washed occasionally.

Look Mom! I'm a Flappy Bird!!!

Just in time for Thanksgiving!

I better find some neked pics of Russ and Scarlett if I'm going to retain my new blog rank. Sigh. Work. Work. Work!

Hopefully, this will suffice for now:

Aaahhhh. Peace returns.

BTW, Why are Peoria's sunsets so much more colorful in the winter?

Psychopath in-law left early this morning. All that is left to do is to sprinkle holy water and incense throughout the house, burn the sheets in the guest bedroom, take a hot bubble bath, and then I will declare myself healed from the latest invasion from the judgmental stress jockey I am related to by marriage. Well, all the aforementioned remedies plus a bottle of wine. And a box of chocolate. And half a bottle of Xanex... yeah, that ought to do it.

Might even need to make time to watch the director's cut of Gladiator. Russ knows how to make it all better.
Thank God.

I'm starting to see the attraction...

I stayed up really, really late last night and watched "How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days" on the USA network. Pretty funny. I don't know if I'd give it such high praise if I'd paid good money to see it in a theatre, but after a day of cooking, washing dishes, and enduring petty comments and stupid advice from a psychopath in law, "How to Lose a Guy" was the perfect brain candy.

Thank God for cable. I would have killed said in law in their sleep last night if I didn't have the very handsome Matthew to view.

Bill, would you mind drying my back?

I don't give a rat's ass if it's safe for work or not

Scarlett wants Bill Dennis to know...

"I wax early and often, Honey."