Willy is back!

Willy Nilly has graced us with a new post. We've done without for almost a month. Too bad this one is pretty weak. Come on Willy, you know you can do better! Aaron Schock has been gifted a seat on the steel board for heaven's sake.

ERIC J. NAVE: What a man, what a man, what a mighty fine man.

No way this guy is single. Mr. Nave witnesses a purse snatching, comes to the aid of the victim, chases down the selfish P.O.S. thug, and gets both the purse and the money back.

I wonder... does he look just a little like Russell Crowe? Not that it matters. At all.

If I want to be taken seriously...

I've been told I shouldn't be posting so much eye candy.



Huh? Really? Gentlemen, you wouldn't take Scarlett seriously?!

I'm feeling a little down today...

Leave it to Russell to give a helping hand.

Never let be said that the drones at the Journal Star are completely humorless

From the front page of yesterday's Sports Section:

Photo credit: MATT DAYHOFF/JOURNAL STAR

Read The Full Story

Bush thinks War has a bad image.

Crossing the country, holding up traffic, and giving stump speeches in an attempt to gain support for partial privatized Social Security failed miserably. What is President Bush's next brilliant move? Of course! Travel the country and give "forceful" speeches (a.k.a. hissy fits) in an attempt to gain support for the Iraq War. Riiiiiight. That will work. Damn, doesn't this guy have an advisor or two?



You want support for this War, Mr. President? Great. I'd like to give it to you.

All I need is a little proof:

I need proof that a majority of Iraqis want us there. Who are we to declare and fight their Civil War if they don't think the cause is worthwhile?

I need proof that we are making head way. I realize the Iraqis had a successful election, voted on a Constitution, and will be having more elections in December. However, too many of our guys are still dying and there seems to be no end in sight. I need to know precisely what is your definition of "Mission Accomplished?"

By the way, the term "War on Terror" is too damn broad. At this point the phrase has lost its currency and strikes as a blatant attempt to exploit 9/11.

I realize you have the liberal media working against you. I also realize that same media was happy to show Iraqi men tearing down Saddam's statute a few years back. If our victories were as dramatic as our losses, the press would be thrilled to show them. The media is liberal, but it is even more greedy. Ratings are ratings.

Want to reframe the War? Give real answers. Hissy fits won't help.

Fat Greedy Bastards

Oil Executives give faux testimony at senate hearing last week.



I've been meaning to do a post on this for awhile, but I was having too much fun exploiting my new found ability to post eye candy.

Oil executives gave "testimony" before a senate committee last week defending their industry's record profits while the rest of us are digging for lint covered change buried between couch cushions to buy enough gas to get to work.

Unlike the executives from the tobacco industry who testified they did not believe nicotine was additive years earlier, oil executives were not asked to give sworn testimony. That is, they did not take the oath, "I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth." Thus encouraging the telling of big, FAT, lies like the following from Lee R. Raymond, Chairman and Chief Executive Liar at Exxon:

"The industry's profits, measured as a share of its revenue, were no greater than those in other industries."

Well, sure, I bet the crack, heroin, and meth industries did not hesitate to rip off the consumer either.

Raymond followed with this gem:

"We are in line with the average of all U.S. industry," Mr. Raymond said. "Our numbers are huge because the scale of our industry is huge. How are these earnings used? We invest to run our global operations, to develop future supply, to advance energy-producing and -saving technologies, and to meet our obligations to millions of our shareholders."*

For those of you not fluent in corporate sleaze, Mr. Raymond basically said, "We are big, you can't stop us, and we are making our shareholders rich. Stupid you for not buying stock."

As to his claim that oil profits are average with U.S. industry, consider the following:

Since George Bush became President in 2001, the top five oil companies in the United States have recorded profits of $254 billion:

"ExxonMobil: $89 billion
Shell: $60.7 billion
BP: $53 billion
ChevronTexaco: $31 billion
ConocoPhillips: $20 billion

Meanwhile, gas prices continue to go up up up - no oil company seems to be turning their profits into consumer savings. So it would seem there is a direct correlation between record prices paid by consumers and record profits enjoyed by oil companies. As Americans shell out more dollars at the pump, the profit margin by U.S. oil refineries has shot up 79% from 1999 (the year Exxon and Mobil merged) to 2004."
-Public Citizen Nov 2005

79% profit is "average" now? !

You know what you oily fat greedy bastards? I'm a capitalist. I'm all for making a buck. Why shouldn't you charge what the market can bare for your product? If you want to cry "supply and demand" and use tragic hurricanes as an excuse for your greed, so be it. I'll see you in hell. But what pisses me off more than being ripped off at the pump is that you actually think my fellow citizens and I are stupid enough to believe you.

*Polly, a cynic who is fluent in corporate sleaze, expected the oil industry's greedy fat bastards to pull this crap the moment rain clouds developed in New Orleans. She did, in fact, purchase extra oil stock in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. However, like an idiot, she forgot to dump her GM stock - DUH! - and made no money whatsoever.

It looks like Scarlett is having a hard time waking up...

Hey, Bill. Maybe you could help her out?

A little eye candy to get you up on a cold Monday morning...

Hey Baby. You sleep alright?

Yeah Russ, I did. Thanks.

I AM NOT A CRUSTY, BITTER, OLD LADY!!!

Heterosexual males, skip this post and go here, instead.

Ladies, Polly had a little midlife crisis/psychotic break last month. First wrinkle. Okay, I had "laugh lines" around my mouth for years, but those don't count. No, I got a wrinkle. A bitter,crusty old lady type wrinkle jutting from my upper lip. I considered Botox but reconsidered after discovering a.) it involved having needles plunged into my face, and b.) Health insurance wouldn't cover it -even though Botox is considerably cheaper than psychotherapy- but whatever. The fact that Botox contains a deadly bacteria that has been known to kill people was of no concern. Hey! Did I mention we are talking about a serious bitter, crusty old lady wrinkle here?

Anyhoo, went to my local Sam's Club where I purchased a tube of this.
Can I tell you? The stuff is fabulous! Wrinkle? What wrinkle? Gone Sister! Plus my skin is soft and smooth as a (human) baby's behind. If you pursue this method of anti-aging, be warned, all unworthy skin cells will literally fall off your face. For a day or two I was actually molting.