Scarlett wants Bill Dennis to know...

"I wax early and often, Honey."

For those of you expecting family this holiday...

Remember it could be worse. You could be related to these people.


The holidays are a reminder that we leave home and become independent, free thinking, capable adults for a good reason. The holidays also serve to keep us humble. How great can you be if you share DNA with a guy who undoes his pants at the dinner table in order to make more room for seconds? If you're snickering because you don't share DNA with such people, smack yourself. You willingly married into this family of freaks.

Ladies, don't be control freaks. You want people to have a good time right? Let the guys watch football. No one wants to play charades. Everyone hates charades, and they roll their eyes at you when your back is turned. Turn off the tube for dinner and then let folks do what they want. Better memories are made when folks are happy. Keep the prayer short, and for the love of God, don't make us go around the table and share what we are thankful for. (Real answer: At some point this torture will be over and we can go home.)

Guys, when dinner is served, get your ass to the table. Don't wait until half time or the moment suits you. People worked while you sat around and scratched yourself all so that you could stuff your face. Here's a thought... since the ladies have been working all day, how about the men do the dishes for a change? Fair is fair.

Guests, unless asked, don't give advice. The dining room was painted green because your host/hostess likes green. Please don't go on and on about how lovely a pale yellow would look in a home where someone else pays the mortgage. Your host/hostess knows that you believe a stuffed turkey stays moist, but your hostess believes said stuffing had her stopping to puke at every rest stop on the journey home last year. This year, it's her house, and she's gonna do it HER way. Let go, make yourself useful, and offer to peel the potatoes. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT offer to dust using a comment like, "Clearly you have been too busy for thorough housekeeping, Dear." Your hostess also does not want to entertain your views on disciplining her children, thank you, you old bitty/hag.

Kids, don't gripe about having to sit at the kiddie table. I finally got a seat at the grownup table last year -at forty something- when someone died. It isn't all it's cracked up to be, trust me. Everyone notices when you don't eat Aunt Suzie nasty candied yams. The only thing that makes the grownup table tolerable is the wine.

Speaking of wine, liquor is to flow freely during the holidays. You should definitely bring a bottle. Or two. Skip the flowers and bring three. Jesus turned water into wine for a reason. To prevent us mere mortals from taking our kin too seriously and strangling a relation in lieu of the bird. My holiday commandment is to keep a sense humor by always having a glass of liquor in hand. Burnt bird, a little broken china, an over flowing toilet... all humorous when combined with the proper amount of liquor.

God speed, and remember, if they behave in a particularly evil manner, lace their pumpkin pie with a few drops of raw turkey juice. Works like a charm. Trust me. Heh. Heh.

Ring. Ring. Clue phone. Randy Ray, it's for you!

Might want to answer that, Randy.

I'm told by one of the few who attended the last Grandview Hotel court hearing that Judge Barra told City Attorney, Randy Ray, something to the effect of, "If the injured party would like to file the proper motion regarding the closure, The Court's findings on the matter would be expedient."

To which Randy Ray replied, "We will file the Motion tomorrow, Judge."

That was last Thursday, November 16th. This morning I read in the Journal Star that the City plans to file the proper papers TODAY, Wednesday, 23rd.

Apparently Mr. Ray has a problem reading between the lines. IMHO, the Judge basically told Ray, "I don't appreciate my closure order being ignored. Kindly get off your lard ass and file the necessary paperwork so I can enforce my earlier order." As always, greater legal minds might disagree with Polly.

We will see if the Journal Star has better luck, via public embarrassment, getting the heavy hitters at the City's Legal Department to do their job. Huh. They are -in theory- going to file today, a day before Thanksgiving. Courts are closed tomorrow. Most likely, the soonest anything could happen regarding the Hotel is Monday or Tuesday. The timing, as always, is a bit fishy. Whose side is the City on, exactly?

Chase, you may have that olive branch you were looking for.

Breaking news from Kelleher's.

My source at Kelleher's tells me that Pat Sullivan has decided "absolutely and positively" NOT to run as the Republican candidate for retiring George Shadid's State Senate seat. My guess - Sullivan doesn't want to anger his good friend Shadid, who has already endorsed the socially liberal leftist Koehler. Thing is, Georgie, no way is Koehler gonna win. Patrick, it's politics, someone from our side has to run. George will get over it.

Schock is now our best hope to claim this seat.

Willy is Picking on La Hood again.

I believe the sun will rise tomorrow. I believe Hillary Clinton will run for President in 2008, and I believe Willy Nilly will never, ever cut LaHood some slack. LaHood's son wants the U.S. Attorney job in town. Yup, someone else is also up for the job. However, what Willy fails to reveal is that the young LaHood is far more qualified than the competition.
From yesterday's Journal Star Word on the Street Column:

And it certainly can't be overlooked that Darin LaHood has an impressive resume that spans from Cook to Tazewell counties in Illinois to his current job in Las Vegas, where he is the lead terrorism prosecutor for the U.S. attorney's office.

"I think this would be a different scenario if I was applying right out of law school or had only one or two years experience in Tazewell County," Darin LaHood said.

On paper, in fact, he looks more qualified than Winkel, 49, who works at a private law firm in Champaign, but has no experience as a prosecutor.

A politician's kid not only stays out of trouble and rehab, but actually makes something out himself and wants to follow in his father's footsteps as a public servant. LaHood could make a lot more money at a law firm (and will if not selected for the post) and Willy is still whining.

Ray LaHood isn't my favorite Republican, but please, give me a break! The Democrats have the biggest claim on nepotism - (lets start with Madigan, why don't we?) and Willy knows it. In fact, LaHood Jr. is more qualified than Lisa Madigan for the job she was gifted by her Daddy... you know the one, Illinois Attorney General. Let us have a look at her "qualifications" again:

Although Lisa Madigan won the Democratic primary for Illinois Attorney General in March, largely through the efforts of her powerful father, Illinois House Speaker Mike Madigan, her reputation as one of the least-qualified candidates for the state’s top legal post was thoroughly established, and will be difficult to eradicate. She carries a lot of negative baggage into the election.

Madigan, age 35, who has been a lawyer for just eight years, and an Illinois state senator for four years, readily admits to being a novice when it comes to the practice of law. She has never tried a case on her own. If she were running for judge, she would be rated unqualified by the bar associations, who require a minimum of 10 years’ practice before going on the bench.

I love you Willy, but please, remember the rule about those who live in glass Democrat houses.

Yeah, she's pretty...

but Reese Witherspoon is also a great actress.


For the love of God don't let that strap fall, Reese! I don't think Bill's heart can take it!!!

Walk The Line.

*Sigh*. Polly just loves a man in black. Especially when it's this guy:


Instead of getting out of town, I escaped by going to see the movie Walk The Line last night. The show was excellent, but not quite as good as last year's Ray. Johnny Cash had quite a life, but his life mirrors just about every other musician from that time period and this one. You know the story - grew up dirt poor, at the hand of a cruel/distant parent, suffered a huge childhood trauma, fought for fame, found it, discovered drugs, struggled for sobriety, and so on and so forth.

It was interesting to learn that most of the musical stars of that period not only knew each other, but toured together, and shared a lot of the same problems. Rock started as Country. As a musician it seemed you were either Big Band, Gospel, or a rebel. Rebels Elvis Presley (who introduced Johnny Cash to drugs), Jerry Lee Lewis, Johnny Cash, June Carter, and Orbison -to name a few- all toured and hung out together.

Reese Witherspoon is a smart actress. She played a very believable June Carter Cash. I forgot Reese's ditzy earlier performances in Legally Blonde and Sweet Home Alabama. The movie covered Carter's life as much as Johnny Cash's. It was fascinating to learn how critical she was to Cash's success. Not only did she supervise Johnny's rehab, but June Carter was the songwriter for Cash's famed "Burning Ring of Fire" hit. The love story between Carter and Cash was gritty and touching.

Actor Joaquin Phoenix (brother of the late River Phoenix) was incredible as Johnny Cash. I never thought I would be able to take him seriously as Cash simply because -IMHO- he looks nothing like him. (Of course, I still think of Phoenix as Russell Crowe's enemy in Gladiator.) Johnny Cash must have come back from the dead and taken possession of Phoenix's body. The movie included a scene where Cash (Phoenix) sang to inmates while recording a live album at Folsom Prison. The scene was so convincing I thought I was there and even a little afraid for my safety.

Walk the Line spent too much time on Cash's drug abuse and completely neglected his rift with Country Music Radio/Television and Nashville in his later years. In the eighties, Nashville went "Pop" and signed only those artists who looked at least as sexy as they sounded. Think Faith Hill, Shania Twain, Timothy McGraw, Garth Brooks, etc. Cash was no longer played on country radio which led his record label to drop him. Nashville's cruelty prompted Cash to post the following now legendary billboard in Nashville:

Oddly, it was MTV who reinvigorated Cash's career. Cash made a video to the song "Delia's Gone" about a man who kills his love. CMT found the video too dark and refused to air it. MTV picked up the Delia's Gone video and ran with it, leading a new generation of fans to both discover and embrace Johnny Cash. Cash spent his late career singing versions of songs first recorded by younger artists, including U2's One and Nine Inch Nail's Hurt. Cash's last video, Hurt, is considered by many -including moi- as one of the best videos of all time. The Hurt video is also credited with waking up Nashville to the fact they had sorely neglected one of their own. If you have never watched the Hurt Video you really should. The word "powerful" doesn't come close to describing it. Unfortunately, Walk the Line ended well before this period of Cash's life. It is the later half of his life and his rebound that makes Johnny Cash's story unique.

Nonetheless, for the acting performances alone, Walk the Line is worth seeing. The movie made me long for the days when male recording artists were strong men, complete with deep voices and songs that revealed the darker side of ourselves. Unlike many of today's over sensitive, whiny, whimpy boy artists who are filled with to the brim with free floating anxiety, singing songs that have meaningless angst as the prime ingredient.

Polly Needs A Vacation.

Enjoy the eye candy. I gotta get out of town before the in-law arrives for Thanksgiving.

God Speed.

All is fair in love and war...

IMHO, eye candy is just fine as long as it goes both ways. Ever notice, guys never complain when their one of their gender is viewed as "just a piece of meat." This guy is People Magazine's Sexist Man Alive 2005. I don't think it is for his acting ability.

A cheesy trick because I'm too lazy to post...

Somehow, Catherine and I think you won't mind.

Hey Bill, do you ever get tired of blondes?