I KNEW there had to be a reason.

Of course, it's STUPID. I asked people to e-mail me if they knew why the editorialists at Peoria Journal Star despise the Fire Department SO much. I asked why these fine journalists continue to advocate Fire Department budget cuts when every consultant the City hired stated fire protection is not up to snuff in the older areas of town.

TWENTY TWO (a new daily record) e-mails later, I know. Many of the e-mails were from elected officials, including more than a few on the City Council. Interestingly enough, the reason does not vary - AT ALL.

The abbreviated version: Years ago, Associate Editor Shelley Epstein got his "clock cleaned" by a Fire Chief. Apparently, Epstein has had a chip on his shoulder ever since.

Hey! Shell! GROW THE FUCK UP!!! (Polly doesn't like profanity, but at times it is necessary.) Has 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina taught you nothing about how dependent we mere mortals are on emergency service personnel when the chips are down? I know you. I know your physique. You are more screwed than most of us should fleeing become necessary. Moreover, if you do need to flee, there is a very good chance your rotund ass could suffer a heart attack and you might be happy to have your friendly firefighter (who will be there, on average, three minutes sooner than AMT) be able to do more than pat your head and give you last rights.

Put down the male ego, pick up a pen, and use your brain to support those who will support you, whether they want to or not.

Another eye opener from Merle!

Those of you who don't take the time to read Merle Widmer's posts on Peoria Watch really should reconsider. His entries are longer than most bloggers, but he carefully considers each topic and all are well written. Today, Widmer has an interesting post regarding our lacking public schools. Golly, it might not all be the fault of the institution! Culture, parents and even students might need to share the blame and shoulder a bit of the responsibility. Wow!

Thanks Merle, for having the guts to write the truth... even if it hurts.

Why, Oh, Why does the Journal Star hate the Fire Department so damn much?

There must be a reason. Count on it to be stupid. Another year, another City budget under review, and yet another editorial from the brainiacs at the Journal Star stating there is no need to reopen Fire Station 11. This despite the fact every overpaid consultant the City has hired states that Peoria's older neighborhoods are underserved and at risk for lack of a better staffed and equipped Fire Department.

Flower baskets on Main Street? The editors say we NEED them! They improve the quality of life for every Peorian and are vital to the renaissance *snicker* underway in the Med Tech District. The $100,000 municipal band? A must! I went to a Muni Band concert last summer. Including myself there were seven people in attendance. Two of them old men who were - I swear - asleep.

You know what I think? Editor Mike Bailey or Editor Shelley Epstein has a personal vendetta against the Fire Department. There is a story here, and I need someone out there to tell me what it is. Did Firefighter's Union President Tony Ardis refuse to climb a tree to save Mike Bailey's cat? Did Shelley Epstein forget to chew before swallowing and had to have the Hemlich Maneuver applied by a snickering firefighter? Did some buff firefighter make a pass at some journalist's wife? Did said wife take him up on the offer?

Someone please e-mail me at polly@mailgenius.com and give me the scoop. Peoria is a small town and I'm sure just about everyone but moi knows. If the editorialists are going to continue advocating the endangering lives of citizens and firefighters by broadcasting their perverse desire to keep cutting the Fire Department budget, I think we all deserve full disclosure as to why. Why? Why? Why?!

Oh! There's a reason the governor's name sounds like a disease.

From this morning's Journal Star:

Chicago- Unable to get lawmakers to support a ban on junk food in schools, Gov. Rod Blagojevich is asking the Illinois State Board of Education to use its authority to bar the sale of soda and other unhealthy foods at elementary and middle schools.

"I believe that if we successfully implement a ban on junk food at elementary and middle schools, it will help build the case for a ban in high schools," the governor wrote to board members Monday.

Blagojevich and House Republican Leader Tom Cross proposed a junk food ban nearly two years ago. They argued it would help reduce childhood obesity, but the measure failed.

At the time, some school officials and lawmakers said they were concerned about schools losing the extra money they get from vending machines.

This year; Blagojevich wrote that he is sensitive to such concerns but believes the costs associated with selling junk food in schools outweigh the benefits.

Gee, Rod, perhaps if you'd get off your lazy ass and lead, we wouldn't have to allow our kids to be poisoned with lard in order to fund their educations. Under Blago's reign the Capital fund for schools has been tied up and un-used. Gov. Chicagovich wants it all for Chicago schools, while politicians in other areas of the State think all children living in Illinois deserve a decent education.

Okay, NOW it's serious!!!

From the front page of this morning's Wall Street Journal:

"Standard hypodermic needles are increasingly unable to penetrate fat and reach the buttock muscle due to rising obesity, Irish researchers said."

Yup. That does it. I'm putting down the donut, I'm going to the gym.

Anyone want to rollerboogie?

Decided to opt for some good, clean, family fun last night. No, I did not do the laundry. Significant Other and I took nieces and friends to Peoria Palace to roller skate. What a place!

I was terrified I would maim myself, as I had not skated in eons. It was a relief to discover that much like riding a bike, once one learns, one doesn't lose the skill. Admittedly, I did not attempt the twirls and crossovers of my beloved youth, but I was able to keep my balance without clinging to the wall for dear life, I maneuvered decently and didn't fall once. The kids weren't afraid to fall. In fact, the little beasts fell on purpose. Oh to be a child, close to the ground, apparently made from rubber, not likely to break a hip.

Peoria Palace has inline skates, roller blades and the old school kind. I opted for the inline. I don't think inline skates are the same as rollerblades -which is what I meant to get- I was handed the type boys play hockey with. I had to trade them in three times to get the right size - (probably because inlines only come in male sizes?) Anyhoo, I was able to make it work, and I was thrilled with the ankle support. I know, I am such an old lady.

Peoria Palace is apparently run by a religious family. The Ten Commandments are posted on the wall as you enter. Also, there is a sign warning parents not to abandon their children, and if they fail to pick their offspring up within thirty minutes of a skate session ending, the police will be called. Rules are posted stating that no rude or dangerous behavior will be tolerated. Good for them. Peoria Palace was spotlessly clean. You could eat off the floors. The facilities seem new. The staff is friendly. A family of four can skate for about $20.00.

The music was modern, which is what I expected. They played Pop, Top Forty, Hip Hop, and some R & B. A little young for me, but the kids loved it. My only complaint was the volume. Loud. Very loud. You had to shout at the top of your lungs for the person standing next to you to hear. Even though the kids probably like this aspect, I don't think it is good for young ears. Now that I think about it, even the kids were annoyed with the volume. We did not attend the "Family Skate" but the "Open Skate" session instead. I hope during the "Family Skate" the owners are more sensitive to little ears - as well as what's left of my old geezer hearing. Seriously, my ears are still ringing/bleeding.

Scarlett has a headache after the big party at the sorority house last night.

Being a good, kind, sympathetic big sister, I snapped this photo before getting the aspirin and giving her a neck massage....

Jennifer and Molly need eye candy.

Well, they do if they are going to keep up the current "tee hee hee" tone used for the Word on the Street column. I agree with The Peoria Pundit. Everything reported in today's column is really old news. We already knew who got votes for to fill the At-Large seat gifted Jacob months and months ago. In fact, I think it was Molly and Jen who "broke" that news originally. Pat Sullivan not stepping up to run for his old buddy's state senate seat is old news too (ahem). What disturbs me more than the regurgitation of well known facts is the tone of the article. It is as flip as anything Liz Smith writes or a hormonal girl in Junior High writes in a note passed during Algebra class. Nothing wrong with it, but I think the duo (BTW, it takes two fine journalists to come up with these nuggets of old news?) should join the rest of us unpaid dorks/gossip hounds in blogosphere if they plan to keep it up. Moreover, gossip should always include eye candy. Always.

It is so hard to get out of bed on a cold Sunday morning.

Even Mrs. Witherspoon agrees.

Because sometimes I can be both mean and petty.

I need to know, once and for all, who does Dave Ran$burg most look like? Until recently, I've always thought Willy Nilly was dead on with Porky Pig. Last summer commenter Snazzybird brought to my attention that Humpty Dumpty and Dave could have been separated at birth. Anyway, I think Ran$burg may attempt to re-enter Peoria's political scene at some point, and I want to get an early start on all the sick humor. Hey, there's nothing quite like getting the Holidays started off right. I'm taking a poll. Please vote. Who does Ran$burg look like more?

This guy...
Or... this guy?



Update: I woefully forgot to add this guy:

Former Mayor Dave has been referred to as the Pillsbury Dough Boy for quite sometime. Whereas I can see the resemblance in body type and skin color, the Dough Boy is just too happy to be Dave. I mean, has anyone ever witnessed Ran$burg laugh, let alone giggle like a little girl? But I have been wrong before (more than once even) so I am adding Dough Boy to the ballot for your consideration. Your vote counts! Vote early and often.