But What TYPE of Gay?

Awhile back I watched an Oprah Winfrey show which featured Melissa Etheridge and Dolly Parton as guests. Melissa Etheridge asked Dolly Parton whether or not she believed homosexuals should be allowed to marry. Dolly Parton replied, "Hell, Yes! Equal rights! Why shouldn't you all have to suffer like the rest of us?"

The silly season is upon us, otherwise known as elections. Gay marriage seems to once again to reign as the supreme issue de jour. Petitions have been signed. Voters will be asked to define, constitutionally, what exactly constitutes a marriage. Courts are weighing in on the matter en masse.

To be honest, I am not completely comfortable with gay marriage. However, I can't honestly think of a logical reason to justify preventing it. It is traditional to allow only one man and one woman to marry. So what? The most heinous of society's ills were traditional at one point or another. Slavery, for instance. At one point in this country it was traditional to burn women at the stake if society thought they were witches. Frankly, a lot of traditions annoy the hell out of me. My significant other's family has a "tradition" of letting the women slave away in the kitchen on huge meals during holidays while the menfolk watch football. After the men gorge themselves, they return to worship the television while the women wash the dishes. Sucky tradition. I asked my significant other why his name was printed first on everything. From checks to address labels to junk mail, the guy's name always seems to come first. My significant other justified it by shrugging and saying, "It's tradition babe." Huh. I thought "ladies first" and alphabetical order were also traditional, but the tradition of sexism tends to take priority over both of the aforementioned. Tradition alone as a justification to ban gay marriage doesn't wash.

How about the breakdown of society? How do you figure? Allowing two consenting adults to marry is going to somehow going to threaten civilization? What, two men get married and suddenly people will want marriage to include three or more people or even pets? Not likely. Marriage represents a lifetime commitment to another person. Folks who are into three or more ways don't strike me as the committed type.

It isn't natural. It isn't? Who says? Anyone who has watched rabbits, deer or dogs have likely witnessed homosexuality in species other than humans. I have heard some argue that if homosexuality were, in fact, "natural" or alright with the All Mighty, homosexual intercourse would result in conception. Like there is a shortage of people? Our species is on the verge of extinction is it? If humans are threatened it is because there are too many of us depleting resources. Homosexuality has been with us since ancient times. Perhaps it is nature's or God's way of preventing over population. Don't misunderstand me. I think gays can make good parents. There are plenty of kids out there who have been neglected and abused by heterosexual parents.

With a divorce rate of over fifty percent, it would seem that heterosexuals are the biggest threat to the institution of marriage. It would seem that most heterosexuals have difficulty maintaining and staying committed to a member of the opposite sex.

The full truth is that there is a certain type of gay that I find revolting. It isn't homosexuality in and of itself. Two women or two men in a committed relationship don't threaten or disgust me. However, I have been to Castro Street in San Francisco, seen a gay parade or two in Chicago, and seen a television series or two which all seem to promote a lifestyle that is absolutely perverted.

Think of the "Jack" character on NBC's Will and Grace. Heterosexual or homosexual, if your sexual desires overshadow absolutely everything in your life, you've got problems. That is, if ALL you are is a sexual being, regardless of sexual preference, well, you would fall into my "icky" category as a person. Over sexual beings exist in both worlds. Think of the guy at the bar with his shirt unbuttoned to his navel, the sleaze who has wondering eyes and hands, desperately trying to score with anything female. Icky. I wouldn't want the Jack character or the barfly to be my children's teacher or coaching little league. I don't want to have to rent an apartment to them. They are not normal. I don't trust the judgment of either of them. I don't hate either of them, but I do think they have made sex into something unhealthy and some personality disorder, perversion, or at a minimum- a sexually transmitted disease, likely lies in each.

On the other hand, I have no problem with the "Will" character on Will and Grace. Will represented most of us, I think. He sought a partner to share his life, have children, and grow old with. Most of society shares the same goals. Nothing abnormal there. I'm not a prude, and I'm not saying that sex should be outlawed for those who are not married. I'm not sure I would define sexual intercourse as a "sacred act" even within a marriage. Puhleeze. Is there a married person out there that didn't pursue sex with her or his spouse as a cure for insomnia? Nonetheless, most of us more mature non-prudes, who have lived long enough to have a few regrets, can likely admit- there are few things less satisfying and ultimately more lonely than a one night stand.

It seems to me that the easiest way to try to stamp out the perverted type of homo AND hetero sexual is for society to embrace and promote marriage for both. Society has much to gain from mature adults in committed relationships. Society has much to fear from those who promote sex as just another bodily function, nothing more special than, say, blowing one's nose or going to the bathroom.

Hello

Polly is okay. Will be back when I can.

Lying Liars and the suckers who give em money

I received an e-mail today that included the following:

"BTW, does it annoy anyone else how many restaurants, mainly the chains (Appleby’s, Chili’s) don’t include their alcoholic drink prices on their menu? I find that terribly insulting. They seem to want to intimidate or embarrass you against asking. And when you do ask how much the top shelf margarita is, the wait person often doesn’t know (or acts like they don’t know) and have to go ask. All part of the strategy to get you to order overpriced drinks."

I don't eat at Applebee's or Chili's or chain restaurants much, so I don't know if this is true. Can anyone else comment on this?

I don't know why exactly I avoid chains. It isn't snobbery or a personal policy. I'm a big fan of Krispy Kreme. Hey! Bill Spears! Any word on when they are going to resume construction on their Peoria store!? I like Lester's too. But watching the donuts being made is neat and yes, fine entertainment.

This drink scheme, if it is real, wouldn't surprise me. I have found that most big chain restaurants tend to be less clean, with longer waits, huge portions of food that really amount to nothing more than a hulking plate of salt and lard. Not that Polly is above a good dose of lard and salt, but I go to Hardee's for that if I'm in the mood for it.

Another scheme I've been subjected to -and would really like to know if anyone else has experienced this- is telemarketers who solicit for charities by saying,

"Ms. Peoria? Hello. I'm Golly Goody from Widows and Orphans of Whale Hunters of Alabama. I want to thank you so much for your generous support of our organization in the past. I see that you gave $40.00 last year during our annual begathon. Can we can count on you for another $40.00 this year?"

Essentially Ms Goody is implying that I've been a good soul in the past, they love me. I've supported them before, so how can I slam the door on them now? Here's the thing. I have never ever given to any of these charities. I know, because I never, ever pledge money over the phone. EVER. These charities are trying to raise money with an out and out bald faced LIE, which makes me wonder if these aren't just boiler room scam artists.

LATELY, IT SEEMS EVERY CHARITY TELEMARKETER SEEMS TO THINK I'VE GIVEN MONEY TO THEM IN THE PAST. Polly is good. Polly is kind. Polly is neither that good, kind, or rich.

Any one else out there experience any of the above? I say we start cracking down!

Best. Eyecandy. Ever.

Like every intelligent being on the planet, I have serious concerns about the war in Iraq. Or, as, my president calls it, "The War on Terror." I would just really like some confirmation that the majority of Iraqi citizens want us there.

Have no doubt. I adore our troops and they have my undying appreciation and respect. This was just sent to me. Actually, I've received it three times today. Polly loves a man in uniform. Especially this one. (Look closely at the badges under the American flag.)

Copperworks. Yummy goodness.

It was almost too pretty to eat. For a second I forgot I was in Peoria. Tavern on the Green in Central Park, or some haute cafe in Paris, but no, I was at Copperworks located in the stripmall on the corner of Pioneer Parkway and Knoxville. The presentation of my sea bass marinated in miso accompanied by garlic mashed potatoes looked like something that required a structural engineer to create. I hated to mess it up by diving my fork into it, but sometimes beauty and art must be sacrificed for appetite.

Yummy. Yummy. Over twenty four hours ago and I'm still gushing. Copperworks isn't cheap, but not overpriced. I ordered the sea bass, my friend ordered the bacon wrapped beef filet with garlic mashed potatoes. Between us we also consumed the artichoke dip appetizer, a beer, two glasses of wine, and one apple dumpling dessert. Salads were included with the entrees and came with an age balsamic vinaigrette. The bill was $88.00 plus tip. Well spent moola. Can't wait to go again.

They had a live band in the bar area, jazz, very sultry female singer. Good atmosphere. The walnut covered, stuffy country club motif of the former Jim's Steakhouse is gone. No noticeable ruminants remain. The walls are dark navy blue. My only gripe is the furniture, which had a decidedly conference room feel. Black tables, metal legs, and chairs which were comfy enough, but looked like they were better suited for the CAT cafeteria. However, with food so tasty, such a critique is petty.

I'm going back... and soon. They offered a pork and polenta dish I just gotta try. Seven and French Toast have some serious competition.

I might have to rename my blog PiggyPolly.

To DeWayne Bartels, With Deep Sympathy

I read in the PJ Star Obituaries this past week that DeWayne Bartels' mother recently passed away. For those of you who don't know him, DeWayne is a reporter for the Peoria Times Observer and an occasional PollyPeoria commenter.

Sometimes I get the Times Observer, sometimes I don't. Apparently I live on the border of what is considered "North Peoria." Although I don't always agree with Bartels, I always find his articles stimulating. I get really cranky when I have to walk a few blocks in order to steal someone else's Observer.

Take care DeWayne. I will be thinking of you and your family during this sad time.

Love,

Polly

The Nerve!!!

I received a letter from the internet slumlords over at Insight Cable today. Frankly, I expected a check crediting me for the huge chunks of down time I've suffered due to Insight's invisible upgrades. No such luck. Instead, Insight congratulated me on being an Insight sucker/customer for a whole year now. They also informed me that Insight is going to continue my low introductory rate of thirty bucks a month for providing me internet service when and if they feel like it. Next came an e-mail from the dorkwads at Insight letting me know that my service "may" be disrupted June 3rd while they make yet even more invisible upgrades. Yup. Sounds like Polly will once again only be able to blog via smoke signals soon.

Tax supported wi-fi is looking better and better and even slightly justified lately.

BTW, did anyone see Gary Sandberg at the Council meeting a few weeks back when he stated that disrupted internet service was not a serious issue?! Are you kidding me? I guess we know who Sandberg's internet provider isn't.

Another Chutzpah Award Nominee....

And Bill is going to hate this one!

Sandra Fritz

Sandra Fritz gathered over 400 signatures to convince City Council to deny Elliot's strip club liquor license. She addressed City Council numerous times on the issue. Fritz also got an advisory referendum on the ballot, asking voters whether or not they felt full nudity should be allowed at "adult entertainment" establishments. Her latest endeavor was to help secure enough signatures pursuing a "marriage protection" measure -also advisory- on the next ballot. Fritz wants the state constitution to define marriage as between one man and one woman.

I gotta admit, I hesitated before adding Fritz to the list because I disagree with some of her beliefs. However, it is the Chutzpah Award and adding Sandra Fritz's name to the hat seems justified. She speaks up and she does a lot a work to back up her beliefs and a desire to make Peoria a safer place. Moreover, I don't find Fritz hateful... just a bit out dated perhaps.

I can't resist. Anyone who watches the nightly news ought to have noticed that there are PLENTY of married, heterosexual perverts and predators out there.

More Chutzpah Nominations

Lots of responses in my e-mailbox regarding my request asking for suggestions for the PollyPeoria Chutzpah Award. New additions to the list of nominees are:

Norma Ellington
Rosilee Walker
Patrick McNamara
Lila Manion
Dale Hunziker

There have been several other nominees suggested, but I have decided that anyone who has run for any political office or occupies a political office cannot qualify. It's my award, I can be a hardass if I wanna.

Introducing the 2006 PollyPeoria Chutzpah Award. And the nominees are....

I've noticed that Peoria has various entities that bestow awards on well deserving individuals. "Forty Under Forty" comes to mind. The YWCA recently honored Peoria City Clerk Mary Haynes for her exemplary service in government. No one deserves it more. How Mary greets every over the top request from media, citizens, and City Council with hard work, effort, and a smile is a miraculous mystery to say the least.

This morning I read that Bruce Brown was given the "Leaguer of the Year" award by the League of Women Voters. I wonder, did he have to dress in drag to accept that one? I like Bruce Brown. Energetic, optimistic, idealistic, and intelligent. A rare combination now days. However, every time I see him I am daunted by one question: "How does Bruce Brown stay SO tan 365 days a year?!" It is hard to imagine a guy like Bruce vain enough to go to a tanning salon or using bronzer, but Peoria is grey nine months of the year and the man spends most of his time cooking and slaving away at his Peoria Heights restaurant, Paparazzi.

Once again, I digress.

Anyhoo, it seems to Polly that the accolades go not only to the well deserving, but also to the well known. Perhaps the two go hand in hand. It seems to me that some credit should be paid to those who stand up and demand better for their neighborhoods. Those average Joans and Joes who attend charrettes, City Council meetings, organize neighborhood clean ups and block parties. The ones who are active in their Neighborhood Associations, plant flowers, and refuse to surrender their homes and streets to thugs who have nothing better to do than terrorize hard working, tax paying property owners.

I don't always agree with these people, but damn, I always admire their chutzpah. These folks aren't politicians, they aren't necessary media savvy, and they don't tend to dress up or practice sound bites for the camera. They just demand to be heard and cry "Foul!" when the rest of us are too tired, busy, shy, or just plain lazy to shoulder our fair share of civic burden.

The following folks come to mind:

Paul Wilkinson
Levetta Ricca
Karen Ratledge
Sara Partridge
Karrie Alms
Mitch Mitchell
Nancy Mitchell

I'm sure that I'm leaving a lot of well deserving people off the list, so I'm taking suggestions. As well as nominees, I would like ideas on a good prize. I'm looking for something meaningful and creative... in lieu of costly. Polly is on a strict budget. Way too much shoe shopping lately. I'm thinking about a golden (spray painted) megaphone.

You can leave a comment with your nominee and or prize suggestion, or e-mail it to pollypeoria@yahoo.com