If your mind is too open, your brain will fall out. Warning: Names, identities, descriptions, and pictures have been changed and/or used to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. PollyPeoria should not be used or quoted as a source for your senior college thesis.

Friday, October 21

Ameriquest. Proud sponsor of the American Dream. My ass.

Most of us would agree, occasionally Corporate America goes too far.

Disney's attempt to build a theme park near a Civil War cemetery in the South comes to mind. I read Eisner wanted the rides to have an anti-slavery theme.

Enron. The entire debacle. Mind blowing not in just because of the arrogance and deceit of the executives involved, but that NO ONE caught on until a Wall Street Journal reporter sat down, read the fine print in the prospectus, and said, "Uh, guys, how exactly do you make money?"

My latest Corporate gripe? Branding. I know this is old. Allowing corporations signage at ball parks has gone on for awhile. Has anyone adjusted to Pepsi Center? Staples Arena? Coors Field? What about Wrigley Field, you say? The Wrigley Family built and owned the park. They didn't just pay some hard up government body to slap their name on it. Some cities now allow bridges and streets to be named after Corporations. Doesn't Bloomington have Krispy Kreme Way? At least the whores -er, I mean- local governments, involved get some money for putting out.

Now we have corporations sponsoring things that may not even exist, let alone something they have branding rights too. Watching baseball with my significant other (White Sox, Astros, Cardinals, couldn't give a damn. I was just hanging out for a back massage.) I learned Ameriquest Mortgage is "Proud Sponsor of the American Dream."

Ameriquest sponsors the American Dream? Huh. See, I thought I was the sponsor. You and me both. By going to work, paying bills, saving to put kids through college, investing in the stock market, complaining at the pump, adding to my 401k, making the mortgage payment, putting food on the table, etc. Many of us sponsor the American Dream. We have since we were 16, put on the double knit polyester McDonald's uniform, worked the fryer, in order to buy our first piece of crap automobile. Frankly, Ameriquest's claim to the title, "Proud Sponsor of the American Dream" Pisses me off. If I am an American (check), I have a dream - say - starting a chain of espresso massage parlors (check), and Ameriquest fails to sponsor me with a loan, can I sue for false advertising? Note to self. Call Chase.

If I ever need to refinance my mortgage, (HA! Did it a couple of years ago when rates were really, really low, you greedy corporate scum floss.) I'm not going to use the arrogant weenie wads at Ameriquest.

So there.

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