If your mind is too open, your brain will fall out. Warning: Names, identities, descriptions, and pictures have been changed and/or used to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. PollyPeoria should not be used or quoted as a source for your senior college thesis.

Wednesday, May 2

Golly! Polly sure is flattered!

Guess what Billy said about little ole me? Yup. I am River City's most mysterious blogger. That does it, I'm never coming out.

Flattery will get you everywhere Billy. Oh, get your mind out the gutter. What I mean is I'm not going to give you a big heaping helping of crap for playing with your thingy yet again. Actually, I admit, the latest format of Peoria Pundits is lovely. Like it a lot.

I'm worried about Bill because he is "twittering" these days. Didn't know about twitter until NPR enlightened me today. We can now get constant updates as to everything Bill is doing, every minute of the day. Well, as much as he cares to share. And you thought blogging was scary/risky. Twittering threatens to be the ultimate sledgehammer levied at the already crumbling wall of manners and privacy left in America. Twitter all about Council if you want, Bill, but for God sakes don't fall into the trap of feeling you are duty bound to inform us as to what you are planning to consume for lunch, or if you are regular these days.

What the hell is Gary Sandberg thinking? Why would he allow his property to have a junk heap very worthy of a ticket? Anyone remember when Clyde had these problems a few years back? Hey! Gary! You are supposed to be a LEADER. That means, in part, that you should be someone that normal citizens would want to live next to. Your property should be damn near ideal, which means it should not have a the beginnings of a landfill in the side yard. Sandberg should put a "Sanford and Sons" sign on the front of his place if he plans to turn his place into a junk yard. I love Gary, I do. But on this one he is dead wrong. Pay the fine, clean up the rubble, and don't disgrace yourself and/or those of us who voted for you in the future. Jeeze, what is with politicians these days? Well, at least we can rest easy that we won't find Gary paying for a $400 haircut any time soon.

Bill, I would have invited you back for a pillow fight and Chinese food, but no decent Chinese restaurant delivers in Peoria and you picked a rather hideous pic of Scarlett to post. Okay, her bust is looking perky, but what the hell is going on with the hair? Bad. Really Bad. Looks like she cut it with something rusty from Sandberg's pathetic pile of waste.

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