Please Sir, can I have some more?

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Tonya Alexander was apparently absent from kindergarten the day her teacher gave the "Just because everyone else is doing it, doesn't mean you should," lecture. Tonya is whining because she received a $125 littering fine for tossing a cigarette butt out of her car window. Tonya doesn't know any other filthy, inconsiderate smokers/jackasses who have received the same penalty. Let me see if I can work up a tear for this poor, hapless victim who thinks the planet (or at least the intersection of War Memorial and Knoxville) is her personal ashtray. Nope. Notta.

According to Phil Luciano only eight littering tickets have been written by cops this year. No wonder the East Bluff is so filthy. Now this is a fine I can get behind. Hell, in Peoria this type of fine could make the City some serious money. Phil doesn't think "we want police wasting time by hunting litterers." Really? Sounds good to me. He also "doubt(s) the department is about to post mug shots of litterers on its Web page, next to prostitution aficionados." Just a web page? Can't we get a bill board too?

Some Cities pay the salaries of meter maids and traffic cops from the fines they collect. Why not hire a Litter Squad? It could pay for itself and then some. I took a road trip through Georgia last week. I didn't see any litter on the side of the highway. However, I did see plenty of signs stating "$500 Fine for Littering."

If Peoria could hail itself the "Cleanest City in the Midwest" it would do a lot to bring in new businesses and residents. Lets begin by making Tonya Alexander pay her fine, put on an orange vest, and pick up other people's roadside trash for a week.

IMHO: The HOI fair is NASTY

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Someone has to say this plainly. The HOI Fair is gross. Yes, it has its good parts: Bill's Lemonade Shake-ups, 4-H displays, agriculture and animal competitions. Lets be honest. Most of us don't go for the educational features. Few would be surprised to find some year soon that such exhibitions aren't offered anymore. Most of us go because something new is in town. We envision a temporary miniature Disney World waiting to wow and entertain. We go for the corn dogs and the rides.

Expect to pay Disney prices. However, unlike Disney, the grounds won't be clean. They say that the rides are inspected, but they sure haven't been washed. Did anyone see the inflatable "Titanic" slide? If you let your kid on it, I recommend de-lousing and testing for disease. I bit my nails as my excited young niece took a seat on the tower ride. Is it wise to let an innocent child ride this thing when the operator has mossy teeth (literally) and a prison tattoo? I could have easily spent the same amount of money at Six Flags as I did at the Fair and not have had to endure near the same filth or seedy people. Six Flags employs engineers and the inspectors always know where to find the rides.

What rock did some of these employees/operators crawl from under? Some of the clientele was a bit freaky too. I feared that if I let go of my niece's hand, the next time I would see her would be on the side of a milk carton. Advice to those who wish to show off their belly rings/tattoos: If you can pinch more than an inch (or five) DON'T DO IT. Such ornamentation is designed for the very young and taut. Those who don't qualify (myself included) should be banned by law from such displays. Yeah, well your first amendment right to free speech doesn't trump my right to not be blinded for life, Buddy.

There was some whining/reporting regarding low attendance this year. They tried to blame it on the heat, but it's always hot in July. Moreover, nights are quite tolerable. Nights are when the real freaks attend and I bet few parents are willing to subject their young to such an environment. My guess is that Peoria has caught on to the fact that the cost of attending the fair far exceeds its value. To all the carneys out there: Get a clue, get out the Formula 409, or go out of business.

Run, Ray, Run!

Lahood may have caught on. He probably won't win the gov's seat. I think the Republican party would be wise to go with Judy Bar Topinka. Topinka was the only Republican left standing after Gov. George Ryan was revealed to be a corrupt bucket of slime.

Nonetheless, I was really, really, REALLY praying that Ray would run. Lets play musical chairs.

Yes, it would be lovely to get Kevin Lyons out of his current job as State's Attorney. I agree with Bill Dennis on this one. Lyons is a wimp who won't prosecute any case that he isn't assured of winning. Sucks for those of us who live near crack houses. Everyone seems to know WHERE the crack houses are in Peoria, yet Lyons doesn't feel he can PROVE where they are. Good prosecutors have to take risks, not hide behind a misleading win/loss record. (Bless 3rd District Councilman Bob Manning for saying this out loud.)

It would be nice to see Patrick Nichting get Leitch's seat. State Rep. Leitch wants LaHood's current seat. It would be sad to lose a essential services council member, but I can't imagine the 5th District would elect anyone who wasn't a basic services candidate. He is a bit too conservative for my taste, but Nichting represents the wishes of tax fearing North Peoria and Tazwell County well. Nichting would have an excellent chance of winning.

Even better than relieving Lyons and Leitch of their duties would be the non stop fun of a John Morris run for LaHood's current seat. Morris probably wouldn't be able to retain his current City Council post in the next City election, but watching him grandstand for Congress would be hilarious. Apparently, Morris has decided to go after a bigger audience who doesn't know him like we do. Sadly this has worked for other politicians, but I don't think Morris can pull it off. Although he recites the rhetoric of his party and carries the Chamber of Commerce's water whenever possible, Morris is all fluff and no substance. Still, it would be an entertaining way to boot kick him off the Council.

Run, Ray. Run!

Terrorists are idiots

I wonder if any terrorist has ever read a history book. Terrorism doesn't appear to be a very successful tactic.

Right or wrong, the Jews are still in Israel, the English are still in Northern Ireland, and the U.S. and friends are still bombing/occupying Iraq and Afghanistan.

The only time I can recall terrorism being successful was the bombing in Spain which killed hundreds. Spain reacted by electing a new president that vowed to take Spain out of the Gulf War and then did so. Spaniards might as well have erected huge banners that read, "Terrorism works! We are big cowards! Please come have your way with us!"

For most nations, terrorism only strengthens resolve. After today's terrorist bombings in London, bet the farm that the British will send more troops to Iraq, not less. Anger tends to have a bad effect on aim, so more blood will be spilled, not less. They will be a stronger U.S. ally, not weaker.

Way to go whoever you are. You have reinvigorated your previously exhausted enemy.

Time to go back to cowering in your caves.

Someone forgot to take his meds...

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Don't get me wrong, I adore him and I respect him, but Gary Sandberg was just odd at this week's council meeting.

Sandberg seemed be saying that since we can't enforce every last ordinance/law each and every time, no new ordinances should be put on the books.

Sandberg was seething and/or severly sleep deprived by Fourth of July thugs shooting off illegal fireworks on his street. He had an odd, though colorful, display of fireworks gathered on his desk to "prove" that the police were not doing their job.

Jeeze, Gary, like the cops didn't have more important crimes to worry about on July 4th? Did you see how many drunks were on the riverfront?!

Well, you know what they say about madness and genius, so I forgive.

Fido gets the death penalty in Peoria Heights

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Poor Fido. In response to a pit bull attack suffered by a young boy, the Village of Peoria Heights has started imposing a fine for dogs found without a leash. $200 for the first offense and $500 for every offense thereafter.

The intent is good but the implementation is idiotic. Most people who let their dogs run wild won't pay $500 to get Fido back. There are some people, especially in the Heights, who may love their dog dearly but could never raise that kind of cash.

I seriously doubt that this policy will prevent any more attacks. More likely, there will be an increase of dogs picked up without tags. Most likely, Peoria Heights will be responsible for putting down a lot more dogs.

Get your checkbook... Time to pay the stormwater "fee"

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Grab your ankles. You're about to get spanked. Again. We didn't whine loudly enough regarding the garbage "fee" currently applied to our water bills, so, as expected, more "fees" are coming.

A fee charged by the City is simply a tax that isn't tax deductible. The newest fee being discussed is a stormwater tax - er - I mean, fee.

In some areas of Peoria - especially in older neighborhoods and the Rolling Acres Subdivision- stormwater is a real problem. With every rain, basements flood. This is due to the fact that the City has done very little to provide repair and upkeep of its stormwater system over the years. In some places retention walls are crumbling. Erosion has been allowed to progress to the point that in one neighborhood, there is a house that has actually slid and settled on the edge of a retention wall.

In order to do necessary repairs, the City has to gain right-of-way privileges. These repairs require deep digging and heavy equipment which takes a toll on landscape and property. It is possible the City will have to go to Court to get access to some properties. Regardless, because of the neglect the system has suffered, we are looking at least a $17 Million bill to fix the problem.

So...According to today's Peoria Times Observer North, the City is considering a wastewater user fee, raising the sales tax to 8.9 percent or raising property taxes 16 percent. DeWayne Bartels from The Observer wrote that such an increase would increase taxes $51.53 on a $100,000 home.

I'm guessing that they will go with the fee. Elections are four years away for district council members and two years off for those who run At-Large. They can up the fee a few bucks and hope folks will put it behind them before election time.

The highest voter turnout always lies in the fourth and fifth districts, and they will not forgive a property tax increase. (If you live in Weaver Ridge, relax. Pat Nichting of the Fifth would never vote for a fee or tax increase no matter how worthy. I'd find this admirable except for the fact that he has, on occasion, voted for pork.)

No matter how Council chooses to solve the problem, people will be peeved. Those in newer areas, who already pay high property taxes and have no drainage problems, will be ticked when forced to pay the plumbing bills of those who live in the poorer South Side and East Bluff. I have one fifth district friend who put it this way, "I'm already paying for public schools I'd never send my own kids to, now I have to pay for someone else's ditches too? It's not my water that's running into their basement."

Feel the Freedom!

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Will the wonders ever cease?

Last week George Jacob, Councilman, businessman and republican extraordinaire thought businesses should be fined MORE for hiring employees away from the City.

The heatwave broke.

Yesterday the JPStar editorial shrews published an opinion piece that was both well thought out and made sense -- it spoke out against TIFs for doctor's parking garages. Moreover, Bailey wrote a column on the expense and effort given to weddings which actually made me laugh.

Then it rained.

*Looks over shoulder for the second coming.*

Happy Fourth of July.

Replace Aaron with Alma

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Aaron Schock has announced that he is leaving the District 150 School Board. He denies that his exit is due to his full time job as 92 Dist. State Representative. Come on Aaron, all those trips back and forth to Springfield have got to be exhausting. Moreover, State Reps serve a two year term. Believe it or not, this means Schock will soon have to start campaigning again. With an unexpected $19 million deficit, and Peoria Public Schools tanking, now is the ideal time for Schock to get the Dist. 150 monkey off his back. Frankly, where the School Board is concerned, who wouldn't want to jump ship?

Alma Brown not only wouldn't jump ship, but in the darkest days the Peoria Public School System has known, she tried to hop on board. Brown ran and lost against Gorenz for School Board last April. Brown also applied for the last School Board vacancy, which was ultimately given to Gorenz. I like Gorenz. I also like Alma and think she would be a great addition to the School Board.

Alma Brown serves as Public Relations Director for the City of Peoria. She knows the ins and outs of local government. She has a relationship with both the Mayor and City Council. Brown could do a lot to bridge the relationship between these two bodies of government, which presently run completely independent of one another.

Alma Brown has a well known name and a reputation for being pleasant under pressure. Go to City Hall any time, and you will be hard pressed to find her not wearing a smile.

Alma Brown also happens to be African American. Given known racial tensions/accusations the school board has suffered in the last few years, it simply can't be overlooked that having a smart, calm black woman serving would be a huge plus. Alma Brown's present position requires her to work well with all different types of people - regardless of race, political leanings, or socio-economic factors.

Frankly, I was amazed that Brown didn't have more of a showing in the last election. However, Dr. Gorenz would be stiff competition for anyone. Gorenz had a huge "in" as he was already serving on The Board. It also may not have helped that both Gorenz and Brown are Republican. (Not supposed to matter in such elections, but please, who are we fooling?)

The decision process for Schock's vacant seat sounds very familiar to the process used to fill the City Council's recent vacant at-large seat. God help us if we have another big name and no experience (or even previous interest) fill the void. Hopefully the school board will pick someone who is obviously willing to do the hard work required, someone who can heal old wounds, and someone who knows how to run a campaign.

We have all these things in Alma Brown.

IMHO: Luciano is a Deadbeat Dad

As if we needed proof. Phil Luciano's column in today's JP Star is more insulting and stupid than usual. It doesn't deserve a response, but my boss is out of the office and it's fun to put a sexist ass in his/her place. Luciano headlines his column, "Moms belong at home." Phil believes that military women should be exempt from long deployments because the burden is too hard on their children. He writes, "Their sense of sacrifice is patriotic and commendable. And it's also unnecessary. Moms don't belong on the front lines. They belong at home." Really? This sacrifice is unnecessary? Huh. As women make up 15 percent of the armed forces, what would happen if they didn't shoulder this load? Hey, Phil, can you spell DRAFT?! Why should mothers be forbidden from harsh duty and not fathers? Because, Luciano writes, "whom do kids run and cling and cry to? Mommy."

Yeah, maybe your kids, Phil. Your column certainly illuminates the type of father you probably are... Cold and lazy.

One of the brightest spots of women entering the workforce is that fathers have been allowed (perhaps forced) to be better, more nurturing parents. At one time most fathers didn't feel comfortable giving children affection. Perhaps fearing that their testicles might dry up and fall off, many fathers told injured sons, "Big boys don't cry" and told daughters suffering skinned knees, "Go see your mother." To be considered a good father, one only had to be a good provider.

Today most parents are providers. As children today are likely to have parents who are both employed full time, Dads have had to pick up the household slack. Today good fathering includes the ability to push a stroller, change diapers, and prepare a bottle of formula. Moreover, a good Dad is no longer allowed to lay around scratching himself in the Lazy Boy lounger when childhood mishaps occur. I took an unscientific poll this morning of some kids. I asked, "If you fell down and hurt yourself, who would you go to, Mom or Dad?" All said that they would pick whomever was closer except one. The lone dissenter/cute drama queen chose Dad because, "He would let me wear as many band aids as I wanted and he would give me candy."

Phil also alludes to his belief that the death of a mother would be more damaging to a child than the death of a father. He overlooks the fact that while the roles of fathers have changed considerably, the salaries of women have consistently stayed far lower than those of men. Thus, a child who loses a father is far more likely to live in poverty than a child who loses a mother. But hell, since Mom gives better hugs and makes an awesome meatloaf, when she's not working two jobs that is, lets disqualify her from military service.

Luciano's column is not only sexist against women, but it is insulting to the many loving, nurturing Dads that play a bigger role than ever before in their children's lives. Luciano's belief "that there is no stronger bond than that between a mother and her children" is a slap in the face to every man that has kissed away a child's hot tears, chased away monsters from under the bed, built forts, and played equally well with both G.I. Joe and Barbie in their everyday roles as Dads.