Outsourcing the CEO

I found a fantastic article in the Wall Street Journal this morning. Carol Hymowitz noticed that a lot of companies have been whining about the costs of employees. They owe it to their shareholder's to go with the cheapest labor possible. Hello Mexico, China, and Taiwan. Fair enough, but what about the CEO?

"The median salary plus cash bonus for U.S. CEOs in office for at least a year totaled $2.3 million in 2004. That compares with $1.2 million for the heads of U.K. companies, $857,000 for the French, and $386,000 for the Swedish. Indian CEOs earn a median salary and bonus of $88,117 compared with $317,864 for the heads of Japanese companies, $302,078 at Hong Kong companies and $263,301 at Singapore concerns."

I'm all for capitalism and the free market. I'm a firm believer in the laws of supply and demand. If you work hard at something and do it better than anyone else, you should be compensated for it. If you suck, you should be boot kicked out the door. However, Hymowitz found that CEO pay is NOT linked to performance, far from it.

"Newly named CEOs are guaranteed a trough of money before they've done any work. When they fail and are dismissed, they are handed even more money."

Huh? I'm sorry, what alter universe did I fall into? Where did the free market go?

"...At Morgan Stanley, where ex CEO Phil Purcell received a severance and retirement package estimated at $106 million, including a new $44 million cash bonus for being shown the door. Former Co-President Steve Crawford is walking away with two years of severance estimated at $32 million after 3 1/2 months on that job."

Why aren't shareholders screaming? Why would any board of directors ever so grandly reward incompetence? After so many recent scandals at major corporations, i.e., ADM, Adelphia, WorldCom, Tyco, Healthsouth, Enron -to name a just few- why is such flagrant corporate greed allowed, tolerated, even flourishing? I'm not a communist. I don't believe we should all get paid the same wage. Doctors should be paid more than garbage collectors. Yet, if salaries are no longer tied to performance, and the laws of supply and demand are now moot, shouldn't this be bigger news to economists?

Time to take a closer look at the portfolio.

Pretty women find something interesting to do in Pekin

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This must be big news or it wouldn't be on the front page of the Journal Star. The Miss Marigold pageant has been canceled. They can't find eight Pekin women interested in owning the title.

Er, maybe times have changed and women ages 17 to 21 don't think a competition that involves parading around in a puffy dress is worth a $1,000 scholarship. Perhaps WOMEN age 17 to 21 would be considered the biggest dweeb in town if they actually wore the tiara.

Here's a hint to Pekin pageant organizers: Lower the age limit or seriously up the prize money. Little girls love to play dress up. A woman needs more motivation than the mere possibility of $1,000 to invest in a gown, painful waxing, hair teasing, face spackling and then waving for hours with a fake smile plastered on her face.

I've got nothing against pageants, Miss America included. I imagine it's a lot of hard work to get to the top of the pageant circuit. I bet years ago the Pekin pageant had tons of willing, excited contestants.

I also think it is fantastic that girls and women are finding more productive, interesting and important ways to spend their lives.

This is a really bad sign...

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You know your State's Attorney is a pansy when defense attorneys rally behind him. The PJ Star ran a front page article hailing Kevin Lyons as tough on solicitation and prostitution. The problem is that the very same lawyers Johns run to when they get arrested think Lyons is doing a bang up job. They like Lyons. They want to keep him around. Gosh. I wonder why. Could it be that their clients fare well under the current regime?

The article also states that the States Attorney's Office doesn't keep statistical data on the types of cases it prosecutes. REALLY? So, how do we know if you're doing your job at all?

Assistant State's Attorney Steve Pattelli estimates that their office charges 95% of those who are arrested for solicitation. That's a juicy number. I wonder why Journal Star reporter Andy Kravetz didn't file a Freedom of Information request and confirm it?

In the off chance a diligent reporter checks, and the numbers aren't near that grand, Lyons already has a backup excuse: It's the law's fault. Legislators believe that Johns are not as reprehensible as prostitutes and therefore the law treats them less harshly.

I don't care. Prosecute them anyway. Call their wives and employers. Post 'em on the web. Impound their cars. Here's a thought: Do what works. At the very least do something!

Please Sir, can I have some more?

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Tonya Alexander was apparently absent from kindergarten the day her teacher gave the "Just because everyone else is doing it, doesn't mean you should," lecture. Tonya is whining because she received a $125 littering fine for tossing a cigarette butt out of her car window. Tonya doesn't know any other filthy, inconsiderate smokers/jackasses who have received the same penalty. Let me see if I can work up a tear for this poor, hapless victim who thinks the planet (or at least the intersection of War Memorial and Knoxville) is her personal ashtray. Nope. Notta.

According to Phil Luciano only eight littering tickets have been written by cops this year. No wonder the East Bluff is so filthy. Now this is a fine I can get behind. Hell, in Peoria this type of fine could make the City some serious money. Phil doesn't think "we want police wasting time by hunting litterers." Really? Sounds good to me. He also "doubt(s) the department is about to post mug shots of litterers on its Web page, next to prostitution aficionados." Just a web page? Can't we get a bill board too?

Some Cities pay the salaries of meter maids and traffic cops from the fines they collect. Why not hire a Litter Squad? It could pay for itself and then some. I took a road trip through Georgia last week. I didn't see any litter on the side of the highway. However, I did see plenty of signs stating "$500 Fine for Littering."

If Peoria could hail itself the "Cleanest City in the Midwest" it would do a lot to bring in new businesses and residents. Lets begin by making Tonya Alexander pay her fine, put on an orange vest, and pick up other people's roadside trash for a week.

IMHO: The HOI fair is NASTY

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Someone has to say this plainly. The HOI Fair is gross. Yes, it has its good parts: Bill's Lemonade Shake-ups, 4-H displays, agriculture and animal competitions. Lets be honest. Most of us don't go for the educational features. Few would be surprised to find some year soon that such exhibitions aren't offered anymore. Most of us go because something new is in town. We envision a temporary miniature Disney World waiting to wow and entertain. We go for the corn dogs and the rides.

Expect to pay Disney prices. However, unlike Disney, the grounds won't be clean. They say that the rides are inspected, but they sure haven't been washed. Did anyone see the inflatable "Titanic" slide? If you let your kid on it, I recommend de-lousing and testing for disease. I bit my nails as my excited young niece took a seat on the tower ride. Is it wise to let an innocent child ride this thing when the operator has mossy teeth (literally) and a prison tattoo? I could have easily spent the same amount of money at Six Flags as I did at the Fair and not have had to endure near the same filth or seedy people. Six Flags employs engineers and the inspectors always know where to find the rides.

What rock did some of these employees/operators crawl from under? Some of the clientele was a bit freaky too. I feared that if I let go of my niece's hand, the next time I would see her would be on the side of a milk carton. Advice to those who wish to show off their belly rings/tattoos: If you can pinch more than an inch (or five) DON'T DO IT. Such ornamentation is designed for the very young and taut. Those who don't qualify (myself included) should be banned by law from such displays. Yeah, well your first amendment right to free speech doesn't trump my right to not be blinded for life, Buddy.

There was some whining/reporting regarding low attendance this year. They tried to blame it on the heat, but it's always hot in July. Moreover, nights are quite tolerable. Nights are when the real freaks attend and I bet few parents are willing to subject their young to such an environment. My guess is that Peoria has caught on to the fact that the cost of attending the fair far exceeds its value. To all the carneys out there: Get a clue, get out the Formula 409, or go out of business.

Run, Ray, Run!

Lahood may have caught on. He probably won't win the gov's seat. I think the Republican party would be wise to go with Judy Bar Topinka. Topinka was the only Republican left standing after Gov. George Ryan was revealed to be a corrupt bucket of slime.

Nonetheless, I was really, really, REALLY praying that Ray would run. Lets play musical chairs.

Yes, it would be lovely to get Kevin Lyons out of his current job as State's Attorney. I agree with Bill Dennis on this one. Lyons is a wimp who won't prosecute any case that he isn't assured of winning. Sucks for those of us who live near crack houses. Everyone seems to know WHERE the crack houses are in Peoria, yet Lyons doesn't feel he can PROVE where they are. Good prosecutors have to take risks, not hide behind a misleading win/loss record. (Bless 3rd District Councilman Bob Manning for saying this out loud.)

It would be nice to see Patrick Nichting get Leitch's seat. State Rep. Leitch wants LaHood's current seat. It would be sad to lose a essential services council member, but I can't imagine the 5th District would elect anyone who wasn't a basic services candidate. He is a bit too conservative for my taste, but Nichting represents the wishes of tax fearing North Peoria and Tazwell County well. Nichting would have an excellent chance of winning.

Even better than relieving Lyons and Leitch of their duties would be the non stop fun of a John Morris run for LaHood's current seat. Morris probably wouldn't be able to retain his current City Council post in the next City election, but watching him grandstand for Congress would be hilarious. Apparently, Morris has decided to go after a bigger audience who doesn't know him like we do. Sadly this has worked for other politicians, but I don't think Morris can pull it off. Although he recites the rhetoric of his party and carries the Chamber of Commerce's water whenever possible, Morris is all fluff and no substance. Still, it would be an entertaining way to boot kick him off the Council.

Run, Ray. Run!

Terrorists are idiots

I wonder if any terrorist has ever read a history book. Terrorism doesn't appear to be a very successful tactic.

Right or wrong, the Jews are still in Israel, the English are still in Northern Ireland, and the U.S. and friends are still bombing/occupying Iraq and Afghanistan.

The only time I can recall terrorism being successful was the bombing in Spain which killed hundreds. Spain reacted by electing a new president that vowed to take Spain out of the Gulf War and then did so. Spaniards might as well have erected huge banners that read, "Terrorism works! We are big cowards! Please come have your way with us!"

For most nations, terrorism only strengthens resolve. After today's terrorist bombings in London, bet the farm that the British will send more troops to Iraq, not less. Anger tends to have a bad effect on aim, so more blood will be spilled, not less. They will be a stronger U.S. ally, not weaker.

Way to go whoever you are. You have reinvigorated your previously exhausted enemy.

Time to go back to cowering in your caves.

Someone forgot to take his meds...

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Don't get me wrong, I adore him and I respect him, but Gary Sandberg was just odd at this week's council meeting.

Sandberg seemed be saying that since we can't enforce every last ordinance/law each and every time, no new ordinances should be put on the books.

Sandberg was seething and/or severly sleep deprived by Fourth of July thugs shooting off illegal fireworks on his street. He had an odd, though colorful, display of fireworks gathered on his desk to "prove" that the police were not doing their job.

Jeeze, Gary, like the cops didn't have more important crimes to worry about on July 4th? Did you see how many drunks were on the riverfront?!

Well, you know what they say about madness and genius, so I forgive.

Fido gets the death penalty in Peoria Heights

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Poor Fido. In response to a pit bull attack suffered by a young boy, the Village of Peoria Heights has started imposing a fine for dogs found without a leash. $200 for the first offense and $500 for every offense thereafter.

The intent is good but the implementation is idiotic. Most people who let their dogs run wild won't pay $500 to get Fido back. There are some people, especially in the Heights, who may love their dog dearly but could never raise that kind of cash.

I seriously doubt that this policy will prevent any more attacks. More likely, there will be an increase of dogs picked up without tags. Most likely, Peoria Heights will be responsible for putting down a lot more dogs.

Get your checkbook... Time to pay the stormwater "fee"

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Grab your ankles. You're about to get spanked. Again. We didn't whine loudly enough regarding the garbage "fee" currently applied to our water bills, so, as expected, more "fees" are coming.

A fee charged by the City is simply a tax that isn't tax deductible. The newest fee being discussed is a stormwater tax - er - I mean, fee.

In some areas of Peoria - especially in older neighborhoods and the Rolling Acres Subdivision- stormwater is a real problem. With every rain, basements flood. This is due to the fact that the City has done very little to provide repair and upkeep of its stormwater system over the years. In some places retention walls are crumbling. Erosion has been allowed to progress to the point that in one neighborhood, there is a house that has actually slid and settled on the edge of a retention wall.

In order to do necessary repairs, the City has to gain right-of-way privileges. These repairs require deep digging and heavy equipment which takes a toll on landscape and property. It is possible the City will have to go to Court to get access to some properties. Regardless, because of the neglect the system has suffered, we are looking at least a $17 Million bill to fix the problem.

So...According to today's Peoria Times Observer North, the City is considering a wastewater user fee, raising the sales tax to 8.9 percent or raising property taxes 16 percent. DeWayne Bartels from The Observer wrote that such an increase would increase taxes $51.53 on a $100,000 home.

I'm guessing that they will go with the fee. Elections are four years away for district council members and two years off for those who run At-Large. They can up the fee a few bucks and hope folks will put it behind them before election time.

The highest voter turnout always lies in the fourth and fifth districts, and they will not forgive a property tax increase. (If you live in Weaver Ridge, relax. Pat Nichting of the Fifth would never vote for a fee or tax increase no matter how worthy. I'd find this admirable except for the fact that he has, on occasion, voted for pork.)

No matter how Council chooses to solve the problem, people will be peeved. Those in newer areas, who already pay high property taxes and have no drainage problems, will be ticked when forced to pay the plumbing bills of those who live in the poorer South Side and East Bluff. I have one fifth district friend who put it this way, "I'm already paying for public schools I'd never send my own kids to, now I have to pay for someone else's ditches too? It's not my water that's running into their basement."