By Request, Norma Jean/Marilyn Monroe for C.J.

This is just how I look first thing in the morning, BTW.IMHO, this is the ideal figure for a real woman.

Isn't she lovely? Smart and Loud Too.

The best women are, you know. I like Katherine Hepburn. She was sexy without taking off any clothes. I couldn't find one revealing picture of her, not even in an off the shoulder gown. Hepburn wasn't intimidated by anybody, a rarity for a woman of her day. She thought it was more important to be interesting and honest than "lady like." If I had daughters, I'd point to Hepburn as a role model.

Channeling Marilyn Monroe....

Just because my life sucks eggs, and just because I'm too busy being a self absorbed unhappy brat to blog anything worthwhile, doesn't mean you don't deserve a treat.

Besides, Marilyn would understand my current funk.

Please Pass the Prozac, Polly is Depressed

I was going to quit my job. It was going to be a beautiful, wonderful thing. Angels wept tears of joy at the thought. I was going to be free. Well, for a while at least. I figured I had enough funds to remain unemployed for at least a year, if need be. My next job would be the RIGHT job, damn it. I would not take a job working for a selfish,evil dorkwad ever again...

HA!

When women make plans, God giggles. Evil Dorkwad Boss beat me to it and QUIT yesterday. Crap. Crap. Crap. Now I can't quit without seriously messing up the lives of several innocent employees/by-standards. Now I have to do Evil Dorkwad's job -not that he was particularly productive- and mine as well. No watching Soap Operas all day. No blogging/writing my fictional-nonfiction Oprah novel from bed in P.J.'s and eating bon bons all day. Must still put on scratchy suits and sensible pumps. And Pantyhose. I HATE pantyhose. Crap. Crap. Crap. Yes, I know other people are starving in the world, and there are many who would love to be gainfully employed... I'm just not one of them.

I. AM. IN. HELL.

Yes, I'll get over it and on with it.

Just not TODAY.

Crap. Crap. Crap.

I will refrain from blogging until I have something mildly unselfish, mildly amusing, or mildly productive to contribute. Okay, at least I can stop behaving like a spoiled brat and a mature adult. Blech. Gag. Puke.

Crap. Crap. Crap.

An Ode to Audrey Hepburn

Proof that you don't have to be blonde or naked to be beautiful...
The bike is kinda sexy though...

Before I die I just gotta find a hat like this and an occasion to wear it.
Halloween costume party doesn't count.

Hey! Isn't that one of Councilwoman VanAuken's "kids?"


Something a little more modern...


Just to prove Audrey wasn't a prude.
That's exactly how I look chatting on the phone, by the way.

I'm off to rent Breakfast at Tiffany's and Funny Face now.

For This Alone She Should Bootkicked Out of Office...

The only person less qualified to be Illinois Attorney General, IMHO, than Lisa Madigan would be Chase Ingersoll.

Yes, she was elected but have no doubt, if her Daddy wasn't head of the Illinois Democrat Party Machine she would have never gotten the post. Lisa Madigan was a lawyer for all of five minutes (okay, something like six years or so) before she became our Attorney General. Yes, Chase, there is hope for you too.

Baby Girl Lisa thinks that donating to charity is an appropriate punishment for committing crime. After Hurricane Katrina, a few gas stations in our State had the gall to charge over three bucks a gallon for their product. Over 2,000 residents complained. Madigan's office investigated. Apparently she wasn't eager to prosecute because the Stations did nothing legally wrong, or she actually thinks that having each station hand over a thousand bucks to the American Red Cross is a deterrent to keep the greedy bastards from behaving badly next time. Huh. If memory serves (and it might not), Huck's was accused of price gouging after 9/11. I wonder, since these penalties were paid in form donations instead of fines, weren't they tax deductible? Yup. I'm sure the greedy bastards learned a painful lesson, thanks to you Lisa. I bet you and our dorkwad governor get along great.

Hey, Lisa! Fair is fair. If I ever face prosecution for "annoying" someone anonymously on the internet, which is never my intent BTW, I demand the same heavy handed treatment. I hereby agree to donate six cents to elect anyone else to the Office of Illinois Attorney General.

It should never, ever come to this

Many of you have a three day weekend. If you are parents of a teenager or even a tweenager, consider the extra time an opportunity for a talk. Please tell your kids that you love them dearly. Tell them that even if they flunk every last class in school, get pregnant (or someone else pregnant), pose nude on the internet, and get a DUI all in the same week that you will still love them and you will forgive them.

By all means tell them that you will be pissed. Tell them you will be pissed and disappointed and hurt, but as a parent and an adult, after you are done yelling and having a good cry, you will proceed digging the child you love dearly out the hole they dug for themselves. That's what parents do. That's the job.

Tell your kid the truth. Tell them that at one time or another we all screw up in huge, fantastic, incredible, unbelievable ways. As humans, major errors are unavoidable.

Tell your teenager that you recognize their ability to fall in love. Tell them that when someone you love abandons you, it hurts like hell. DON'T TELL THEM THERE ARE MORE FISH IN THE SEA - even if it is true. Tell them that the pain they feel is important and real and it will take awhile to subside.

Tell them the only thing most never get over or recover from is losing a child.

Your child.

I Miss Grace...

and glamour. Real glamour. Party dresses with tulle, women not leaving the house without a hat and gloves, gentlemen holding the door open and helping a lady with her coat glamour.

My faith and hope are being ever so slightly restored that Americans might one day tire of crass, tack and the nasty. My hit count went WAY up after posting pictures of Grace Kelly. Even more so than the teasers for nude Kelly Monaco and Emily Stern pics or even Scarlett fully clothed.

Don't get me wrong, I love my oldest pair of Levis almost as much as my significant other. I want to be buried in them. However, the closest most women ever come to owning or wearing a dress like this is on our wedding day.



One commenter recently stated, and I agree, that many ordinary people are as beautiful as celebrities. However, very few celebs have the poise or class as the days of old. Case in point, Angelina Jolie now admits she is prego with Brad's baby. Jennifer, Hon, you're better off. Brad is fine, but he can't act. Angelina is just rough, period. She'll probably get her kids tattoos as well. One day, as the vast amounts of silicone harden, Angie's lips are going to burst and the flying shrapnel will probably kill Brad.

It seems like manners are becoming a hindrance for living well in America. To get business done, you must shout at the top of your lungs on your cell phone at a nice restaurant. Leave more than one car length of space between your vehicle and the one in front of you on the freeway, and some arrogant ass in a Beemer driving 90 mph will happily clip in front of you.

Can you imagine Cary Grant spitting in public?!

Can you imagine someone who wears their hair like this getting a tattoo?

Once upon a time it wasn't necessary to show everything to be sexy. In fact, to be considered beautiful one needed to be fully dressed.

Imagine that!

I know the "olden days" were not perfect. Celebs of yester year were apt to drive too fast, drink too much, take pills and have affairs. Society was not as likely to condone or forgive it, however.

Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful that women have more opportunities to do more and I'm grateful to previous generations who fought hard for said opportunities. There also something to be said for being able to slip on a pair of sweats, pulling my hair into a greasy ponytail and running to Walgreens for a bottle of Motrin.

It's just that something is woefully missing in today's very casual world of drive thrus, overnight mail, and web surfing.

What's missing is class, good taste, politeness, good manners, trust, you know, glamour.

Does Anyone Else See the Similarities?

I am going to post about more important things. Well, not more important perhaps, but I am going to have a little vent/rage/hissy fit about our dorkwad governor's idea to fund education. Gambling! Keno! Available to play every fifteen minutes or so. Says the Gov, "It's very similar to bingo, which is being played in church halls across the country." Jeeze, Blago, why not just shove a needle of heroin up the arms of innocent citizens and then roll them for their cash?

Anyway, I have been working too hard and simply can not string any worthwhile commentary together right now. Maybe tomorrow. For now, I'm concentrating on finishing one last main project, and only because I am legally obligated, and then I'm going to quit my frickin' job. Why? Because Polly's boss is an evil dorkwad. No, I don't work for the Governor. I figure Bill won't mind a little more competition standing in the unemployment line. Besides, after I give my notice I won't have to be anonymous anymore! Some of you are going to be so disappointed as to just how much of a nobody I am. Seriously, all thirteen of you are going to be saying, "Polly Who?"

Anyhoo, Bill thought he had some worthy competition for Grace Kelly. Not. Ingrid Bergman played a nun in "The Bells of St. Mary's" for a reason, Dude. Besides, I think Grace and Scarlett have a lot in common.

Ofcourse, Princess Grace would have never posed like this:Sigh. Thank God for progress, eh?