Hell Freezes Over. Blog Leads to Job Offer.

Well, kinda. Sort of. Not full time or anything, and I have no idea if this entity would being willing to pay for my pithy writing style, but nonetheless, I am very flattered. Of course, I can't take said offer because I would have to stop being the head dorkwad of my department at my current place of employment. I've already spent my raise and had new business cards printed up. I am not allowed to moonlight.

Moreover, I would have to give up my pseudo anonymous status, which I have come to rather enjoy. I'm not really anonymous anymore. During my lunch hour yesterday someone actually shouted, "Hey! PollyPeoria! You suck!" at me as I was feasting on a Cuban wrap from Roly Poly in front of the courthouse. What are the chances that one of my thirteen devoted readers would share the same lunch hour and location as me? Felt like a bit like a minor celebrity.

Mmmm.... I'm starting to get hungry. Is it lunch time yet? I'm thinking lemongrass chicken from the Thang Ling push cart today.

The one thing you can ALWAYS count on...

Put this in the same category as, "What goes up must come down."

District 150 will ALWAYS take the path of MOST resistance. ALWAYS. I'm still studying the new Glen Oak Park School/Disney Land Plan. I will concede up front that it has some REALLY, REALLY, good elements. It is forward thinking, which just might be the primary ingredient Peoria Public Schools require to get out of its current mess, so I'm not going to pooh-pooh it out of hand.

However, the TIMING (on the heels of the Edison vote) and the delivery (total lack of frugality) is awful. It's like the School Board enjoys alienating the public.

But then, I do think the majority of the Board is on drugs. I'm going to study this over the weekend and refrain from further comment until I know more.

Jeeze!

Best. Quote. Ever.

.

"Little girls ought to love themselves the way they are; grown women ought to know better." -Eyebrows McGee

Don't worry, she's being sarcastic. I tell you, the more I read this woman's blog, the more I want to be her. Don't worry Eyebrows, I could never match your nerdiness, and I don't have the energy to be a stalker.

Someday I hope you and Mr. McGee have a daughter.

Crack Smoking District 150 School Board Members.

Yup. Remember, you read it here first. The majority of the District 150 School Board must be on drugs, most likely of the highly addictive and hallucinogenic variety. The frequent use of said drugs would be the only logical explanation behind tonight's School Board meeting. It is no wonder why so many of our public schools are in serious trouble. It isn't the fault of the kids. The real problem is that the people at the helm are drug addicted numbskulls!!!

Tonight the School Board voted to renew the Edison contract for another year. Nifty. No problem. Lots of folks in red shirts showed up to support Edison. If one were to buy into the logic of Edison proponents, one would believe tht overnight all Edison students will become drug addicted retards, just like school board members, should the program be eliminated. Many a story of woe was heard of how District 150 could NOT afford to NOT continue with Edison. Apparently the parents of Edison students and other proponents fail to realize that Peoria's Blue Ribbon Schools and those Schools that meet or exceed State test score standards are not Edison schools. Nonetheless, four members of the School Board were convinced to fork over millions of more dollars it doesn't have in order to keep Edison around for another year.

Anyone else recall Alicia Butler on the evening news last week stating that the District had to fire 60 teachers it recently hired?! Must have been a wild dream or perhaps a contact high.

Yet, none of the above justifies my conclusion that school board members are smoking some mighty fine weed. What leads me to conclude that some board members are toking it up long and hard is that at this very same meeting these potheads also voted to borrow money in order to pay the District's bills. At a minimum, the loan will cost District 150 taxpayers $130,000 in interest. I seriously doubt it will cost us more than $132,000 because what idiot would borrow even more money in order to make payments on previous loans? My guess? Ganja loving school board members, that's who! It's the only thing that makes any sense.

You know, Edison may well provide an excellent education. A Mercedes Benz may very well be a superior car than the current pile of crap I currently drive. However, since there is no way in hell I can responsibly make payments on a Mercedes, I will continue to drive the aforementioned piece of crap for the foreseeable future. Most days the piece of crap I drive beats having to walk, but not always. If I insisted on driving a Mercedes I would be forced to rob a bank. Moreover, I would occasionally need to rob more banks in order to keep up with payments and maintenance on the Benz. Can you imagine the stress? You know, a slightly less deranged plan would be to rob a bank only once and either fix up the piece of crap car I currently own, or upgrade to a Tercel, maybe even a Camry. You know, basic reliable transportation.

Any parent in Peoria who has kids they love in public schools and can afford to move to Dunlap, Germantown Hills, or Metamora but hasn't is a fool.

From now on, I want every candidate for school board to submit to and publish the results of both a piss and an I.Q. test.

The Cows Still Won't Come Home - Lincoln Day Dinner 2006

More of a chicken than a cow, this pic of Oberweis is more flattering than he deserves.

Just returned from the Peoria Republican Lincoln Day Dinner. I want a law that no politician or want to be politician will be allowed to make a impromptu speech. If an impromptu speech is required, a timing device will be implemented and said Pol/Speaker will limit him/herself to three minutes. Five tops. I paid my $50.00. Let me eat already! Aaron Schock was the Master of ceremonies and the always respectful young lad came with a well prepared, rehearsed, and funny speech. Just about everyone else rambled on and on and on...

My favorite part of the evening was when Pat Ward sang "America the Beautiful." I don't know the woman, apparently she is a county board candidate for the First District. Can I tell you? The woman can sing. I loved her. Ms. Ward is African-American, came swathed in gold lame, and her voice and style would have done the best gospel choir proud. I nearly put my hands up in the air and started swaying. At the last second I regretfully realized that I was neither black or Baptist and that I was in a room filled to capacity with other uptight, timid white folks also on the verge of shouting, "Praise the Lord and/or Jesus!" Fortunately, we all controlled our repressed selves, but we did give Ms. Ward a standing ovation.

This event was advertised as a "Unity Dinner" and all four Republican candidates Governor for promised to come, regardless if they won or lost. I know. I figured it was worth the price of the ticket just to see if Oberweis and Gidwitz could face a room of fellow Republicans after blatantly and repeatedly breaking the 11th Commandment. (For "Independents," Democrats, and those too young or don't care to remember, Ronald Reagan decreed that No Republican shall speak ill of another Republican.)

Well of course, neither Gidwitz or Oberweis had the testicular fortitude to show. No big surprise, really. However, a Schock aide told me that Aaron originally called Oberweis and invited him to the Dinner, asking Oberweis to show only if he emerged the victor. Oberweis said, "Win or lose. I want to be at your Dinner. I will come no matter what." Thus, the event was hailed as a "Unity Dinner."

Oberweis was the first to cancel, the day after the primary. Heh. Gidwitz was a no show, still off somewhere licking his wounds. Bill Brady attended, sat at the head table, and gave a great speech for Topinka. Kinda got the feeling he would be making copies or licking stamps for her campaign starting tomorrow.

Gidwitz and Oberweis refused to sign the Republican Code of Campaign Ethics, which among other things, had candidates promise to abide by the 11 Commandment. Oberweis may have took second overall, but he did not do particularly well here. Neither did Gidwitz.

Many State big wigs were there. Schock, McKenna, Leitch, LaHood, Risinger, and Topinka (who was a bit over caffeninated/hyper and spoke for WAY too long). Fewer folks from the City attended. Mayor Ardis, George Jacob, and Patrick Nichting showed, but John Morris, Bob Manning, and Eric Turner were no shows. Morris missed an opportunity to cozy up to State party leaders!? Gosh, I sincerely hope there wasn't a death in the family or something. Oh, and Chuck Grayeb wasn't there either.

I didn't see Zan or David Ran$burg- even though they purchased a table. Neither were his (former?) buddies Teplitz or Thetford. In fact, of all the City politicians who ran this time last year and who repeatedly stated oh how important the Republican Party and Principles were to them- only Ardis and Nichting bothered showing up this year. As Ran$burg's Campaign Manager, Maloof was at the Dinner last year, but could not be bothered this year. I think mostly volunteers filled the room. Most people present had stuffed envelopes, made calls, written checks, etc. for people who, in hindsight, stood for self promotion and not for Republican ideals, beliefs, or principles.

I know, I know. Not shocking. Just disappointing.

There were some local politicians who were present tonight and who are present at just about every Republican function- regardless of who is at the helm. Merle Widmer, Reg Willis, Bonnie Gavin, Mary Haynes and as previously mentioned, Pat Nichting. If you're not Republican and maybe even if you are- you probably don't care. Maybe you don't appreciate the Party's ideals, and that's fine. I don't like all of them either. That isn't my point.

The elected and unelected are suppose to stand for something win or lose. Didn't they tell us they were running because they were scared for our City/County/State/Country and wanted to do anything to improve the situation? Didn't they say they loved our great City/County/State/Country and just wanted the opportunity to serve? Participate in the process? Make government better? Didn't they give us the feeling that were they not running for office they would be out collecting litter or working at a soup kitchen?

I know, I know. Not shocking. Just disappointing.

If Peoria Sucks, Chances Are, It's YOUR Fault.

An 82% chance, in fact.

Peoria have too much litter for you? Too many crappy sidewalks? Too much crime? Peoria's Public Schools not worthy of your genetic offspring? Well, since 82% of Peoria's registered voters could not bother to get off their pathetic, whiny, lard asses and vote yesterday, I don't see why the powers that be should be motivated to make the necessary changes. It's not as if the apathetic and lazy citizens they represent are likely to show up and boot kick them out their jobs.

UNLESS, of course, the weather is really nice and there is nothing good on T.V. Jeeze. I thought Midwesterners had CHARACTER. A chill in the air and a couple of inches of purty white stuff keeps Peorians from voting. Sad state of affairs if you ask me. Yes, I did vote yesterday. There was even a bit of a line. I noticed that every other voter at my polling station had at least thirty years on me. I would guess the median age of the average voter in my precinct yesterday was 72. The average age of election judge was probably 75. I got the feeling these seniors didn't care much for the new technology, but they were there regardless. They call it the Greatest Generation for a reason.

This is a quote from this morning's PJ Star:

"Voting is a privilege," said Bob Miller, 73, of Chillicothe. He was one of the few who braved the weather to vote. "The weather doesn't bother me."

No wonder why it is hard to get decent candidates. NO ONE CARES. If you want to get something done, NO ONE CARES. Okay, a measly 18% care, but does that make the crummy pay, constant media criticism, and time away from family worth it? Not likely. Springfield is attractive to the corrupt and vain for a reason...

NO BODY CARES!!!


Maybe Peorians can remove their heads from their apathetic, lazy asses for the General Election, but I'm not holding my breath.


(BTW I copied this pic from another blog early last week, but I can't remember whose. My apologies and hat tip to whoever first discovered it on Google.)

A Game You Just Gotta Try!!!

It's the Blago Game! Sure to bring hours, well, minutes anyway, of entertainment, education, and just plain fun.

At Last! A Nice Helping of Common Sense!

Yup. A new blog, and it's a doozy. Commonsense Peoria. I just discovered it today. Must say, "Commonsense Dude" comes out of the gate strong. All posts are interesting and well worth your time.

Polly Only Aims to Please

*
Because... Bill Dennis says what he really enjoys is...

CHICKS WITH NICE, BIG KNOCKERS...


Whatever gets you through the day, Buddy. I try not to judge...

NO EXCUSES!!! GET OFF YOUR LARD ASS AND VOTE!!!

I know it is snowing. I know it is cold. I know you are busy. I just don't give a rat's ass. We have young kids fighting and dying in Iraq every day trying to secure another country's right to have a say in their government, the least you can do is leave the comfort of your barcolounger or cubicle and let your opinion be known. Even if your opinion is wrong. It's not like you have to dodge bullets or anything. I really don't care if you have to wait in the cold for a bus or walk three miles in the snow. Chances are you don't, but even if you do, you carry far less of a burden than voters in other countries who turn out en mass for the opportunity to be heard.

There is no bigger shame or embarrassment than our country's poor voter turn out. Nothing does more to confirm the belief in the world's eye that Americans don't deserve/earn the freedom and opportunities we have than our inability to get off our collective arrogant and obese asses and get to the polls.

Besides, fellow blogger Eyebrows McGee is stuck being an election judge for about fifteen hours today and she will get paid a little bit of nothing to serve the pathetic few who bother to cast ballots. There are few jobs more tedious than election judge. She actually volunteered for the post. God bless you Eyebrows.

I feel for the candidates today. All that work, all that door-to-door knocking, shaking of hands, kissing babies, making calls, and then snow on election day. Strongly favored candidates have been known to lose due to a few flakes of snow. Lazy voters tend to think "Ah, I don't wanna brush the snow off my car. Topinka and/or Blago has it hands down anyway. I don't need to bother." Meanwhile the little known underdogs have die hard supporters who would be willing to duck gun fire to cast a ballot...

Go Edwin Eisendrath!!!