If your mind is too open, your brain will fall out. Warning: Names, identities, descriptions, and pictures have been changed and/or used to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. PollyPeoria should not be used or quoted as a source for your senior college thesis.

Friday, August 3

Yup. We have some crappy bridges of our own.


Today CNN reported that it would cost $461 billion to make all of the nation's bridges structurally sound. Sounds like an impossible sum of money unless you believe the often quoted dollar cost of the Iraq War- a mere $1 billion per day. So, if we just commit to minding our own business and not pissing off the rest of the world for a mere two years, we will not only have "won" the war on terrorism but we can stop holding our breath every time we cross the Illinois River. It would seem Peoria County has a few problematic bridges of its own. It maybe awhile before I visit Bartonville again...

D = deficient

O = obsolete

Bridges are rated and given scores between 1 and 100. 1 is really, really, really bad and 100 is stellar. (Apparently we have no stellar bridges here in Peoria, but take heart. Chicago has a few that were given a score of 2.)

To see the full report, go here.

Status:DRating:16.0 Road: 74 Place:BARTONVILLE County: PEORIA Feature: KICKAPOO CREEK Location:.5 MI E OF MCKINLEY

Status:ORating:93.5Road:74 Place:CONGERVILLE County:PEORIA Feature:CONGERVILLE ROAD Location:3.85 MI E OF ILL 117

Status:O Rating:78.3 Road:74 Place:PEORIA County:PEORIA Feature:UP RR (175624A Location:.25 MI W OF PEORIA

Status:O Rating:66.2 Road:74 Place: PEORIA County:PEORIA Feature:UP RR (175624A) Location: .25 MI W PEORIA

Status:D Rating:67.2 Road: 24 Place:PEORIA County:PEORIA Feature: BN & CNW RR Location: W CL OF PEORIA

Status: D Rating:71.8 Road:317 Place:PEORIA County:PEORIA Feature:WAR MEMORIAL DR Location: US 150 INTERCHANGE

Status:O Rating:81.9 Road:317 Place:PEORIA County: PEORIA Feature/Location: I-74 US 150 INTERCHANGE

Status:O Rating:88.0 Road: 474 Place: PEORIA County: PEORIA Feature:KICKAPOO CR & RR TKS Location: .25 MI S OF US 24

Status:D Rating:40.9 Road: 6595 Place:PEORIA County: PEORIA Feature/Location:DRY RUN CREEK N OF RICHMOND ST

Status:O Rating:57.2 Road: 6593 Place:PEORIA County:PEORIA Feature/Location:R B GARRETT AVE SBI 8 OVER FIFTH AVE

Status:D Rating:39.4 Road:29 Place: PEORIA Feature: IL RIVER TRIBUTARY Location: .1 MI S MOSSVILLE RD

Status:D Rating: 77.2 Road:6578 Place:PEORIA Feature:UP RR & KICKAPOO CR SW EDGE PEORIA CL

Status:D Rating: 44.4 Road: 6659 Place: PEORIA Location: KICKAPOO CR SBI 8 AND CH 77

Status:D Rating: 54.2 Road: 74 County: PEORIA Feature:KICKAPOO CR TRIB Location:0.2MI W KOERNER RD

Thursday, July 12

Philip Anderson, Peoria Heights Newest Loon

Geeze. Finally, mercifully, we dispose of Matt Hale into the dank jail cell where he belongs, only to have a pathetic wannabe spring up. While doing yardwork, I discovered the July 4th edition of the Peoria Times-Observer, "North Peoria's Newsweekly." I receive this paper sporadically. My guess is that my house isn't always considered "North" enough to deem delivery. Too bad, because I enjoy reading Dewayne Bartels' articles. Hey, Dewayne, your fine paper lacks a decent website. The Observer is delivered to most regardless of whether or not the recipient is a paid subscriber, so why not carry the weekly editions on line as well?

I digress. In last Wednesday's edition, Dewayne introduced Peoria's newest certifiable wack job, Philip Anderson. Anderson is the Illinois Leader of some odd Nazi organization, "The American National Socialist Worker's Party." Quite a title, one which gives Americans, Socialists and anyone who works for a living a bad name.

Bartels is a reporter. A good reporter goes straight to the source. Bartels went to Anderson's home to request an interview. The response? Predictable. The moron threatened Bartels, his wife, children and grandchildren online, going so far as to post addresses and contact information, essentially inviting those as stupid as Anderson -but hopefully more violent- to cause injury or harm upon Bartels and/or his family. You see, Anderson doesn't have the chutzpah to respond to a request for an interview. So he asked a national nut job and Nazi mentor to respond for him, via Bill White's blog, Overthrow88.blogspot.com.

Overthrow88.blogspot.com is a prime example of why anyone wanting to own a gun should have to submit to an I.Q. test. Bill White is an example of yet another bitter moron with a tremendous chip on his shoulder. This guy blames the quest for racial equality for all that has gone awry in his pathetic excuse of a life. Anderson and White. In this case, likes attract.

White and his blog are laughable, or would be, except for the fact that in the past such publications have inspired violent wack jobs to maim people or worse.

Dewayne, my sympathies to you and your family. No one deserves this.

Tuesday, July 3

How To Tell When A Public Official is Lying

Okay, yes, when their lips are moving. Specifically, when you read in your morning paper, "Officials said last month that the tax credit program is 'going well' without providing details," chances are excellent that your wallet has already been picked.

Peoria will have a museum, damn it, whether citizens are willing to pay for it or not. Don't want it, don't need it, won't use it, can't pay for it? Don't worry your pretty little head about it. That's just what taxes are for!

Museum pushers have been forced to temporarily fore go their demands for a reflecting pool and a planetarium that appears to be suspended in mid-air. Puhleeze, are they aiming for a museum or a second grader's science fair entry? Polly's prediction is that we will end up with some ugly monstrosity that looks appalling similar to the original plans, but due to unforeseen circumstances, a.k.a., lack of public interest and funds, runs over budget and will require a tax disguised as a garbage-gum-wrapper-and-snow-removal-library-book-cover-eyebrow-waxes-for-underprivileged-toddlers-fee.

They call it, "Plans for Museum Square" I call it, "Trailer Park at Night."

Saturday, June 30

Just Another Day In Paradise

Otherwise known as Peoria. The temperature is perfect, not too hot, not too cold. Apparently we paid our dues last winter. Have you checked out the sunsets the last couple of days? Wow! Hawaii doesn't have it any better. Believe it or not, no homicides this week.

So, the question is...

WHY IN HECK ARE YOU INSIDE READING THIS SILLY BLOG?!
This is where I'm eating dinner tonight. After all, Coney dogs have no fat or calories in paradise. Afterwards, I'm getting a vanilla cone dipped in chocolate. Ice cream has calcium. Come on down, I'm buying! We can all gaze across the street at the new Starbucks and the lovely strip mall, er, I mean "neighborhood center" that Bob Manning built. I take back all negative comments I made, back when homes were bought and demolished and more than a few neighbors were ticked. Polly predicted vacancies and blight on the neighborhood. Polly was wrong. The Neighborhood Center/Strip Mwall is the swankest thing the East Bluff has seen in ages. Even more amazing, the City didn't have to bribe anyone with a TIF!!!

Friday, June 8

Even When I Don't Know What I'm Talking About...

I know what I'm talking about. I don't flatter myself that Jennifer Davis or Terri Bibo got the idea for today's front page article from my silly little post, but I am pleased to see the museum boondoggle come under fire.

Billy posts a rather cute picture of pigs at the trough, but I feel a bit more harsh. Checkout Big Yellow. My, she just gets bigger and greedier by the profitable quarter, doesn't she?

I have nothing against CAT wanting a feather to put in its cap, but I just think it should pay for its own feather. Asking employees and tax payers to pay for a CAT visitor's center is in poor taste, to say the least.

Hey, CAT! There are some companies that pay for educational museums which don't pay homage to the products they sell. Imagine that!

Wednesday, June 6

Try This One At Work Tomorrow


I dare you. Go into work tomorrow and inform your boss that you will only showing up to the office twice a month.

After that, inform him or her that s/he will have to limit all criticisms, critiques, concerns to five minutes or less and only after s/he gives apt notice and fills in a card.

See if that doesn't get your ass fired.

Maybe the Peoria City Council doesn't realize who they work for.

I realize most members of the Council have day jobs, but they knew the workload and schedule before running. Cutting Council Meetings to twice a month makes local government less accessible, which is unforgivable. Accessibility has been City Council's best attribute. Unless subpoenaed to testify before a Senate Committee, it's pretty damn difficult for an average Joe to get the floor and the undivided attention of their elected officials. I know that Council meetings often run long. I know some citizens are poorly informed and are horrid public speakers. Then again, so are some council members. Citizens (a.k.a. employers) have the right to grandstand if they want to. Public servants (a.k.a. employees) don't.

My guess? Someone's day job (travel schedule) and/or wife, is making Council duties difficult.

Tuesday, June 5

There's No Point In Posting....

Because I can't come close to this. The newbies haven't been around long enough be judged, but I like most members of the Peoria City Council. I do believe we are in better hands than we were Ran$burg Era.

There are some issues that could be handled, should be handled, and we were promised that they would be handled. We still have the stupid, unfair, garbage tax. Do businesses pay the garbage tax? Nope. Do they reap the benefits? Yep. Remember, the garbage fee has nothing to do with Waste Management, or, for that matter, garbage. It is a bogus fee/double tax (check out your property tax bill - you already pay a garbage fee) devised to fill holes in the City's budget. Many campaigned on the unfairness of this issue, but none have done anything to get rid of it.

Station 11 is a dead horse beaten beyond death. Or it would be, if it wasn't a life or death issue. Frankly, I'm sick of harping about it. Anyone should be able to see that taking vital rescue equipment out of service and disbursing the paltry few pieces left throughout the City is just stupid. When the disaster occurs we have only ourselves (and our elected officials) to blame. Grownups know that blame never brings anyone back from the dead.

Hey, Caterpillar! How is that Peoria Museum employee matching campaign coming along? Take the hint. Your employees don't give a rat's ass about a museum praising Big Yellow, the Illinois River, or the 1974 Manual High Debate Team. You want a visitor's center? Well, shut up, dip into some of your record profits, and build one already. Stop trying to present your very profitable corporation as a worthwhile charity. No one is biting.

Blah, blah, blah. There's more, but only the Anti-Pundit (aka Emtromics) still has his humor intact. Hat tip.

Thursday, May 24

Gary Sandberg: Suave. Rico. Really?


Monday's Word on the Street column reported that Gary Sandberg is not speaking to the Journal Star these days because of an article written shortly before the election that criticized his appearance. If true, I got to say, I'm shocked. Since when does Gary care about his appearance, what people think of it, and especially what the Journal Star thinks about Gary, or his appearance or, for that matter, what the Journal Star -especially the editorial staff- thinks about anything?! This is Sandberg after all, a man who once told me he doesn't have any mirrors in his house. This is Sandberg, who can count on both the JP Star not endorsing him and the voters overwhelming voting him in first.

Gary is a bachelor. To me, he strikes me as the type who really doesn't give a rats ass about appearance because there are far more interesting things in the world (Harleys!) to think about and issues to address (Crime, Fire Station 11, taxes, recycling) than which side his hair should be parted on, or the alpha hydroxy content of his facial moisturizer. He doesn't have a wife pleading that he not go out in public without a shave, wearing plaid with polka dots, or with spinach in his teeth. Say what you will about him, one would not think to call Gary Sandberg vain. Thankfully, Gary is not a pretty boy politician with the poor sense to pay $400 bucks for a haircut. Now Gary would gladly allow his head to be shaved, by an ex-wife no less, in order to raise money to benefit a cancer patient, and has. Gary is a man's man. He doesn't care about his looks unless there's a special occasion that demands it. You know, a job interview, a friend's wedding, hot date, a campaign photo.

Or so I thought. How Gary's feelings could be hurt by what anyone says about his appearance, let alone the Journal Star, is dumbfounding. Now that I think about it, this isn't the first time Sandberg has refused comment to the Journal Star because it made a jab about his looks. Years ago the Journal Star ran a crummy photo of Gary in a bright orange sweater that, at first glance, looked like a jailhouse jumpsuit. Gary didn't speak to any Journal Star reporter for a loooooong time after that one.

Sandberg's sensitivity is not just odd, but also inappropriate. Part of one's job as a Councilperson is to maintain a dialect with the public, and the press is one means of doing so. In fact, the press is the primary means of doing so. By denying comment to a newspaper with the widest circulation (even if said newspaper's lack of professionalism and honesty leaves a lot to be desired) Sandberg is denying his view and thought process to many voters who hired him.

More troubling is Gary's lack of trust in the readers/voters who returned him to office- again, and again, and again. Gary, buddy, we know Mike Bailey and Company are going to make fun and unduly criticize you whenever the opportunity presents itself. We know who's corner the PJ Star is in. We know where their bread is buttered. We know where they dine, or would like to anyway- (Peoria Country Club). Frankly, we know the editorial bozos at the PJ Star can't be trusted and so we figure, in part, the less they like you and the more mean and petty they are, well, the better job you must be doing.


From the April 9th Journal Star:

You know it's election time when....

Gary Sandberg gets a haircut and dons a bow tie. We've been through a number of elections with the senior member of the Peoria City Council, and have come to note the sometimes stark differences between Campaign Gary and Regular Gary, partly evidenced in these two photos.

Both Garys are knowledgeable. Campaign Gary can be quite charming out on the stump, which history suggests has had an appeal to local voters. Unfortunately, soon as the votes are counted, he has always metamorphosed back into Regular Gary, with a tendency to be considerably less charming around the horseshoe, particularly to those who don't quite see the world his way.

We prefer Campaign Gary. Sorry, couldn't resist the comparison.

Oh yeah? Well, I like Campaign Gary, but I adore Regular Gary. The Gary who says it as he sees it without any of the excessive softening adjectives that campaigning requires. I like the Regular Humorous Gary who brought a sleeping bag to Council the night they voted on whether or not to buy the water company, knowing they might debate the issue all night. I like the Regular Gary who lined his desk with a collection of firework debris after troubling July 4th celebrations in his neighborhood. I like the considerate Regular Gary who brought the Mayor a cupcake on his birthday. I even like the Regular Gary who gets angry- really, really angry when he believes his colleagues are not acting in the citizens best interests. I like the Regular Gary who does his homework and cares about constituents.

I don't agree with everything Sandberg says, does, or how he votes. I simply realize that the world has way too many politicians who always look their absolute best while their performance is the absolute worst. How refreshing -and lucky- Peoria is to have a public servant who albeit may forget to shave, can be counted on to show up educated, informed, and well prepared to serve the public.

Monday, May 21

Mr. Pot, Allow Me to Introduce You to Mr. Kettle



Like most, I think Jimmy Carter is a good man, but he was an AWFUL president. An opinion shared by the just about the entire nation at the time. I can't recall a more humiliating defeat than the Carter vs. Regan election. I'm not a huge fan of President Bush, but Carter has no right to throw stones.

Anyone remember the energy crisis? Waiting in line for gas? Double digit unemployment rates? Inflation that wouldn't stop? As far as crappy foreign policy goes, how about the Iranian Hostage Crisis?! Could that have been handled any worse? Anyone else remember the bungled rescued attempt? Remember the bodies of deceased American military personnel torn and burned by maniacs in Tehran? The 444 days of agonizing hell when America sat on its hands and did nothing while her citizens suffered abroad?

No doubt this administration has its flaws. Big time. However, Carter criticizing Bush is akin to George Ryan calling Blago a liar.

Tuesday, May 8

Meet Michael Little


This is the thug-loser-low-life-piece-of-scum-smelly-feces-rotting-on-the-sole-of society's-shoe-too-stupid-to-blow/pick-his-own-nose who assaulted Third District Councilman Bob Manning after his car was struck by a child on a bicycle. Manning, responsible and a gentleman to the core, stopped, offered aide, called the police on his cell phone, and attempted to explain to Little that he wasn't out cruising trying to hit kids darting out on bikes from behind parked cars. Little didn't want to strain his allegedly small brain in order to comprehend the situation. Little also didn't want to help or comfort the child. Instead, Little slugged Manning in the face, fracturing his eye socket in several places. Having made a contribution, Little then took off with his allegedly tiny, tiny, tail between his legs.

We should forgive Little. Little isn't just his last name. It is who he is. Word in the 'hood is that Little not only has abnormally small genitals but has an even smaller brain. This would give just about any man a big chip on his shoulder. When police caught up with Little, (which didn't take very long or effort as the stupid are easy to find) they found an open bottle of booze in his car and and a revoked license in his otherwise empty wallet. Little's excuse for assaulting Manning? He thought Manning was going to flee. If broken bones and surgery were not involved, Little's excuse would be pretty damn funny. The only person who fled was Little himself. Let us pray that States Attorney Catch and Release Kevin Lyons attempts to put this dangerous twit -with a history of violence- behind bars for more than a day or two. I know... I know... don't hold your breath.

Bob, I hope that cute baby blue heals quickly and that this awful episode doesn't put a damper in your desire to help the Third District and Peoria. Obviously, we need you.

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