If your mind is too open, your brain will fall out. Warning: Names, identities, descriptions, and pictures have been changed and/or used to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. PollyPeoria should not be used or quoted as a source for your senior college thesis.

Friday, July 22

Summer decadence

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Out of some mistaken sense of love and charity, I am taking care of four kids today. It's been a half an hour. I'm ready for them to leave. It is too hot to stay outside for more than fifteen minutes, so I must endure wails of glee (which I like) and wails of horror (which I don't) at close range. The problem is that it is very difficult to distinguish between the two. They are both blood curdling.

I am trying to stay patient and positive. I want to hold out as long as I can, so I can give some of my favorite Moms a much needed break. You guys owe me. Alcohol. The good stuff. None of that wussy crap you brought last time that tastes like stale Jolly Ranchers.

I've decided to list MY FAVORITE THINGS ABOUT SUMMER, in no particular order. I'm hoping it will relax me. Here goes:

1. Little girls wearing swimsuits with those cute ruffle skirts attached.

2. Night time BBQs on the deck.

3. Buff guys not wearing shirts while doing yard work.

4. Flip flops.

5. Late night ice cream trips to Emo's or Lou's.

6. My neighbor's laundry hanging on the line.

7. Lightning bugs.

8. Kids shouting "CANNONBALL!" at the neighborhood pool.

9. Porch swings.

10. Lime popsicles.

11. Hammocks.

12. Wearing anything made of gingham.

13. Tan lines.

14. Road trips.

15. Visiting people excited to see you - just because you share a last name.

16. Homemade ice cream.

17. Strapless sun dresses.

18. Wide brim straw hats.

19. Rainbow sprinklers - especially with kids running through them.

20. Really, really, really cold beer.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"Buff guys without shirts on"? Dang... you'd like where I lives at, Polly, 'ceptin' we ain't so buff, but we shore goes without shirts. Mostly cos none of us uses deodarant.

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