If your mind is too open, your brain will fall out. Warning: Names, identities, descriptions, and pictures have been changed and/or used to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. PollyPeoria should not be used or quoted as a source for your senior college thesis.

Saturday, October 8

Can Tanner's

Took the munchkins to Tanner's Orchard yesterday. District 150 celebrated a half day. The District called it "Student Improvement Day." Improving students apparently requires sending them home three hours early. Hey, I respect teachers. I think they work hard. Damn hard. If they need extra time to prepare, or relax, or whatever, I say give it to them. Just call it what it is. "Teacher Union Day" rings right. Before I get a bunch of comments ripping me a new one, let me just state, I drove by the kid's school yesterday at 1:00 p.m. There were four cars in the lot. Anyone else notice that Student Improvement Day (Columbus Day) and Institute Day (Thanksgiving) always coincide with what otherwise would be "just" three/four day weekends?

Anyway, Tanner's Orchard used to be a quaint way to celebrate Autumn. Pick some apples, bring home a box of cider donuts, a gallon of cider, eat some kettle korn, go Mach five down the huge slide...

Them there days are gone kids. If you pick a half a peck (smaller than a plastic grocery sack) of apples it will cost you $15.00. Wanna take the kids to the playground? Six bucks. Per kid. The big, honking, huge slide... gone. Too much liability apparently. So the six buck covers equipment that you would easily find for free at any public park, or most back yards. Six donuts? Five bucks. A gallon of cider? Five bucks. A box of four caramel apples? Eight bucks. A freaking mum? $25.00. I understand that overhead can be costly, but the prices -as compared to last year- far exceed any imaginable rate of inflation. Maybe Tanner's is now trying attract ignorant city slickers/suckers from Chicago?

There were hardly any apples left to pick and I simply could not bring myself to pay the $6.00 playground extortion fee. So we bought a box of overpriced donuts and a gallon of excellent cider and left. After all, if I want to be thoroughly ripped off I'll go to Chuckie Cheese.

Next stop, Chuckie Cheese.

How can they charge so much for a place that smells like feet?!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

We don't go to tanners anymore either. Go to Christ Orchard on Texas road (near elmwood). It's good old-fashioned apple picking and CHEAP. You can also pick your own pumpkins and mums out of the patch. Being nice religious people, it's closed on Sunday. It's the only place we go now, for apples and again for Pumpkins.

pollypeoria said...

Thanks for the tip! Do they have cider?

Anonymous said...

Here's their description: "Pick Your Own & Roadside Market: fresh apples, jams, jellies, honey, cider, Indian corn, pumpkins, squash and plums."

I tell everyone I know about it. They give you a wagon to put the kids and/or apples in. They also pull a hayrack with a tractor if you don't want to walk too far. It's what tanners used to be- simple family owned old fashioned fun without all the gimmicks and price gouging.

If you go towards Wildlife Prairie park, you'll see signs for it. About a 15 minute drive from west peoria.

I hope to see a glowing post about them soon!

(Christ Orchard is not affiliated with God; it's their last name. Pronounced like the name Chris, then add a T)

pollypeoria said...

I will check it out. Thanks anon!

Anonymous said...

I used to love Hoerr's Apple Blossom Farm...because it was the "Anti-Tanner's. Are they still open? I think changed hands. Tanner's is too expensive for my liking. Gotta pay to send out the "Tanner Newspaper" each year. I want to help the little man. And this money machine I$N'T little!

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