IMHO: Luciano is a Deadbeat Dad

As if we needed proof. Phil Luciano's column in today's JP Star is more insulting and stupid than usual. It doesn't deserve a response, but my boss is out of the office and it's fun to put a sexist ass in his/her place. Luciano headlines his column, "Moms belong at home." Phil believes that military women should be exempt from long deployments because the burden is too hard on their children. He writes, "Their sense of sacrifice is patriotic and commendable. And it's also unnecessary. Moms don't belong on the front lines. They belong at home." Really? This sacrifice is unnecessary? Huh. As women make up 15 percent of the armed forces, what would happen if they didn't shoulder this load? Hey, Phil, can you spell DRAFT?! Why should mothers be forbidden from harsh duty and not fathers? Because, Luciano writes, "whom do kids run and cling and cry to? Mommy."

Yeah, maybe your kids, Phil. Your column certainly illuminates the type of father you probably are... Cold and lazy.

One of the brightest spots of women entering the workforce is that fathers have been allowed (perhaps forced) to be better, more nurturing parents. At one time most fathers didn't feel comfortable giving children affection. Perhaps fearing that their testicles might dry up and fall off, many fathers told injured sons, "Big boys don't cry" and told daughters suffering skinned knees, "Go see your mother." To be considered a good father, one only had to be a good provider.

Today most parents are providers. As children today are likely to have parents who are both employed full time, Dads have had to pick up the household slack. Today good fathering includes the ability to push a stroller, change diapers, and prepare a bottle of formula. Moreover, a good Dad is no longer allowed to lay around scratching himself in the Lazy Boy lounger when childhood mishaps occur. I took an unscientific poll this morning of some kids. I asked, "If you fell down and hurt yourself, who would you go to, Mom or Dad?" All said that they would pick whomever was closer except one. The lone dissenter/cute drama queen chose Dad because, "He would let me wear as many band aids as I wanted and he would give me candy."

Phil also alludes to his belief that the death of a mother would be more damaging to a child than the death of a father. He overlooks the fact that while the roles of fathers have changed considerably, the salaries of women have consistently stayed far lower than those of men. Thus, a child who loses a father is far more likely to live in poverty than a child who loses a mother. But hell, since Mom gives better hugs and makes an awesome meatloaf, when she's not working two jobs that is, lets disqualify her from military service.

Luciano's column is not only sexist against women, but it is insulting to the many loving, nurturing Dads that play a bigger role than ever before in their children's lives. Luciano's belief "that there is no stronger bond than that between a mother and her children" is a slap in the face to every man that has kissed away a child's hot tears, chased away monsters from under the bed, built forts, and played equally well with both G.I. Joe and Barbie in their everyday roles as Dads.