If your mind is too open, your brain will fall out. Warning: Names, identities, descriptions, and pictures have been changed and/or used to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. PollyPeoria should not be used or quoted as a source for your senior college thesis.

Monday, November 27

So Sick It Just Might Work...

The PJ Star is for sale. Today's Word on the Street column hints that local big wigs with deep pockets have been approached with the goal of local ownership. That's the trend these days, or so we're told.

As much as I love Gary Sandberg, I don't see him coming up with the cash to buy the overpriced paper. Gary gets more votes than anybody with a lot less cash than any other candidate, but even with that sort of genius I don't think he'd even want the hassle of owning a paper.

HOWEVER, how about having a BLOGGER OWNED paper? Okay, and blogger owned and reader supported newspaper. Why? Just so we could remind Bailey who he works for before he glibly writes another stupid editorial that Fire Stations are silly and far less important than funding for the arts.

Heh. Heh.

Guns Don't Shoot People in the Testicles...

People shoot themselves in the testicle(s).

Sigh. Why can't more mishaps involving guns be like this one?!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

(AP) A man who was attempting an abduction stuck a gun in his waistband when it fired, shooting him in the left testicle, police in Wichita, Kan., said. He cringed, and the gun fired again, striking him in the left calf. The 23-year-old walked into a hospital. He and two others were accused of trying to kidnap a teen in a dispute over stereo speakers.

Polly's view:

The only tragedy here is that the second bullet hit the left calf instead of the other (right) testicle. Then society would have the added benefit/comfort of knowing this gun toting moron could no longer reproduce.

Seriously, I think a partial, although not perfect, answer to reducing the innocent gun slaughter of U.S. citizens would be to require those applying for a gun license take an I.Q. test. Anyone who doesn't score 100 or above can't have a gun. Yes, the same for driving. I haven't thought this one through yet, but should I become Queen, I'm thinking an ethics test might be in order as well, as well as a gun safety exam. Hell, throw in a mental health test in there too, couldn't hurt.

Yeah, I hate government red tape too, but there is that rare occasion when it serves a good purpose. I, for one, love it when the Health Department shuts down a roach infested restaurant. It's a good day when government seizes a crack house, or condemns and then destroys property that a slum lord couldn't get off his lard ass to maintain. Yes, that doesn't happen much here in Peoria, but I understand it happens in other places, and if true, it's a wonderful thing.

As I've written before, not every person who has or wants a gun is an idiot, but every idiot is attracted to guns. Like some birds are attracted to shiny things. Like moths are attracted to a flame. Like politicians are attracted to spending money they don't have, etc.

Guns, fireworks, and idiots go together like beer, pizza, and hot wings.

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