Was that so frickin hard, Mr. President?

It grew chilly in Hell today when Bush admitted that he alone was responsible for the decision to invade Iraq. Like we didn't know. It's good to know that he knows that we know. I think the "faulty intelligence" he relied on was his own.

I was even more amazed yesterday when Bush conceded that 30,000 Iraqis had died since the U.S. invaded. Didn't know anyone in the Bush administration could count that high. Lets see, we left Vietnam after we lost 50,000? So when does Iraq have the right to decide it has had enough?

Oh! And to all those enemies out there in the Axis of Evil reading this, well, Stop It! Stop It! Stop It! Go back to your cave Osama, we're going to get you any day now you, you, you crusty little maggot.

So, Mr. Mayor, how much did this cost me?!

Has everyone received and read their copy of the River City Review? The Review eight pages of fluff printed on swank, slick, full glorious color, glossy paper stock mailed at - I assume- tax payer expense to every household in Peoria. My highly anticipated booklet arrived yesterday. Very nice. Informative too! Please, take the time to read it and you too will learn the following:

"Peoria is Winning the Battle Against Crime." Nice photo of Chief Settingsgaard at a podium. Very official. Chief looks good in suit and tie. Sarcasm aside and in attempt to be fair, some impressive accomplishments are cited. "There has been a 93% increase in number of nuisance violations handed out in the month of September alone. Drug arrests are up 17% from last year, and miscellaneous arrests were also on the rise."

Next, we have a pic of CAT equipment performing demo on the Sears Block. Didn't Ran$burg rename that Museum Square? Ooooh! The next headline is a doozy. "NEAT Improves Peoria Neighborhoods." Now I find this hard to believe. "The team inspected 11,350 properties in 2004 - 3,818 had no violations, and 7,532 had violations and enforcement taken." (Looking at the East Bluff, I'm thinking those violations must have been for stray gum wrappers, because it is looking as foul around here as ever.) Also, you gotta love this nugget of info... "The NEAT concept is a popular one with Peoria residents and has received accolades from cities throughout the United States." Who knew?! I bet Hawaii is jealous as hell.

Next we learn "Census Generates Dollars for the City," followed by, "Peoria Directs City Growth" and then, "City Is Dedicated to Neighborhood Improvement." Whoo hoo!
Turn the page, and look at the purty a half page photo of snow plow trucks under the caption, "City is Tough on Snow Removal." Wow. Good to know.

And for the three of you who were lying awake at night wondering... Yes, "Wisconsin Avenue Improvements Are Completed." Got to admit, I have serious sidewalk envy.
Flip to the next page, and we learn gosh goodness golly, there is an "Ordinance to Protect Against Stream Erosion."

C.J. Summers will be relieved to discover "Bike/Walk Trail for Growth Cells One, Two and Three" is underway. "Over 28 miles of trail are planned, with approximately 1.8 miles completed to date." I shiver at the progress.

Next we learn, "How Your Dollars Are Spent." Cute graphic of a checkbook register and everything! "An owner of a $100,000 home only pays $273.75 for City Services." 'Only' huh?

Peorians should be elated to know "Customer Service is One Call Away." Yup. Whoopee twang ding dong, they want you to know their number. 494-CARE.
On the back we have full color pictures of all our beloved councilfolk. Good looking group too. Hey, Sandberg, what is up with the bow tie? That isn't a clip on is it? Chuckie Grayeb looks strange, to say the least. Little Bobby Manning on the other hand, can you say cutie pie? He has those cheeks that Aunty Polly just longs to pinch!

Citizens can go to bed at night knowing the home addresses and faces of all the council members, the City Assessor, the City Clerk, and the City Treasurer. City Manager Randy Oliver, CPA, PE takes a nice picture, but interestingly enough gives City Hall as his address. Hmm... you really don't think Chase already knows where you live?

I now know from this piece of fluff that I pay Elected Officials and Commissions -on average- $4.33. That's a crapola statistic. Commissioners are volunteers, I believe. What I want to know is how much did this fluff/campaign piece cost the average property tax payer? There isn't anything particularly informative about it, most people probably threw in the garbage on site with the rest of the junk mail, and yet, it apparently qualified as a NEED. Another something our elected officials can't bare to cut. I would be willing to wager these mailings would easily pay for a block of shiny new sidewalks, easy.

I also received a copy of Peoria's Annual Report a month or so ago. It too is a very expensive, glossy, colorful booklet. It is not a report, however, but an advertising piece, aimed at some unknown entity who apparently doesn't live here. Why they sent it to me, I have no idea. It is nearly as glossy as Ran$burg's hallucination 20/20 campaign book put out during the last election at taxpayer expense. Mayor Ardis would never do such a thing. This fluff piece at least brags on Peoria, not some far fetched plan that took four years just to dream up. However, I did see that Ardis felt fit to put his campaign slogan, "A New Generation of Leadership" on the bottom of every page of Peoria's Annual "Report."

Federal Government spends $3 million on a toilet seat. State Government spends gobs of cash touting Gov. Chicagovich back and forth. Working diligently to keep up with this trend of "Waste First, Want Later" local government prints and sends material tooting its own horn that few read or want.

I hope this doesn't mean that this new generation of leadership is as wasteful as the last one.