If your mind is too open, your brain will fall out. Warning: Names, identities, descriptions, and pictures have been changed and/or used to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. PollyPeoria should not be used or quoted as a source for your senior college thesis.

Sunday, November 13

I AM NOT A CRUSTY, BITTER, OLD LADY!!!



Heterosexual males, skip this post and go here, instead.

Ladies, Polly had a little midlife crisis/psychotic break last month. First wrinkle. Okay, I had "laugh lines" around my mouth for years, but those don't count. No, I got a wrinkle. A bitter,crusty old lady type wrinkle jutting from my upper lip. I considered Botox but reconsidered after discovering a.) it involved having needles plunged into my face, and b.) Health insurance wouldn't cover it -even though Botox is considerably cheaper than psychotherapy- but whatever. The fact that Botox contains a deadly bacteria that has been known to kill people was of no concern. Hey! Did I mention we are talking about a serious bitter, crusty old lady wrinkle here?

Anyhoo, went to my local Sam's Club where I purchased a tube of this.
Can I tell you? The stuff is fabulous! Wrinkle? What wrinkle? Gone Sister! Plus my skin is soft and smooth as a (human) baby's behind. If you pursue this method of anti-aging, be warned, all unworthy skin cells will literally fall off your face. For a day or two I was actually molting.

Russ to Polly, "Good Morning, Dear. Can I bring you some coffee?"



Mmmm. Yes. Yes you can.

Good Morning, Mr. Dennis.

Just a little Sunday Morning eye candy of Bill Dennis' ex-wife.



Huh. Bill probably won't need a cup of coffee to wake up. Cold shower, maybe...

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