Most Brilliant Legal Manuever EVER: "Hey, Judge. Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah. I'm still open!"

Just what we needed on Veterans' Day, a brand new episode of "As the Grandview Turns...."


Just got back from driving by Peoria's beloved Grandview Hotel. Today is the day it is suppose to close, by Judge's orders, for 30 days. Guess what. It is wide open for business. In fact, to the untrained eye, it looks like more than just a few guests or employees are calling the Grandview home. Either someone forgot to check their calendar or somebody is sticking out their tongue at the Judge. Smooth move. I hear judges appreciate being ignored. Nonetheless, nearby neighbors should know by now, it will probably take the National Guard to shut the place down.

Absent were neighborhood protesters, City Police, City Hall Attorneys, City Manager Randy Oliver, New Owner Chase Ingersoll, Old Owner Kris Jain, Third District Councilman Bob Manning, or self appointed neighborhood advocate Angela Anderson.

Note to self. Microwave some popcorn. Watch to see who wins the race to get on television first. My money is on Ingersoll in a photo finish with Anderson.

Sex on T.V. is twice what it used to be,

so basically, we are all screwed.

C.J. Summers covered this first, I'm just jumping on the bandwagon. Forget the bird flu, it is a matter of moments before AIDs becomes airborne. With the media constantly portraying sex as no bigger deal than brushing one's teeth, why wouldn't every normal teen, pre-teen, or worse, tween want to give it a try as soon as the opportunity presents itself? I realize people are still arguing over whether violence in video games and on television shows de-sensitizes otherwise normal people into committing violent acts, but does anyone seriously doubt that Desperate Housewives has a profound effect on the sexual mores of your average teen?

I remember going to the movie theatre and seeing Risky Business in high school. Tom Cruise dancing around in his tighty whiteys did not send me into a lather or induce me into anyone's backseat. Risky Business did leave me with the feeling that my teen years were numbered. Those precious years when all could be forgiven -including, according to the movie- throwing wild prostitute parties while Mom and Dad were out of town. Tom Cruise was having sex on the staircase with prostitute Rebecca DeMornay shortly after drowning his father's Porsche in Lake Michigan. What was my great teen adventure/memory going to be? Sipping a warm can of beer with the debate team?

IMHO, the only thing the Christian right has correct is the need to give young America the vital message, "Your body is precious, don't just give it away." I don't see any daughter of mine attending a Purity Ball or insisting any my offspring take a "True Love Waits" oath, but I will be stressing -early and often- that sexual intercourse is not just another bodily function on equal footing with elimination, burping, or blowing one's nose. It is a message that will be continually challenged by Hollywood that rarely shows sex as unsatisfying, unattractive, or regrettable. Occasionally you will have a show with a troubled pregnant teen, or an episode of ER with a patient suffering the cruel consequences of AIDs. What you rarely see is two regular looking folks "getting busy" sharing pleasure the way most of us mortals experience it, quite nice but not worth risking your soul- let alone your life for.

I love how Hollywood wants us to believe the sexy among us always look like this:




When in reality, this:



is both more honest and accurate.

The movie Risky Business is tame by today's standards. I had to sneak into it, which was easily accomplished by buying a ticket for a G rated movie and simply walking into the room where my preferred film was showing. Risky Business is nothing compared to today's Desperate Housewives or even a commercial for Crest. If that movie could have such a profound effect on my actions as a naive teenager in high school, what can we expect the actions to be of today's youth bombarded by sex everywhere they turn? You don't even need money to buy a ticket or cable to watch Desperate Housewives.