I was waiting in line at Chase Bank (formerly Bank One, formerly First Chicago, formerly???) last week, attempting to convert a huge jar of coins into paper bills. BTW: Said jar usually reaps $200, but this time only $50. Hmmm... Anyway, the line was short but the teller was grumpy and SLOW, so Polly had plenty of time to study those around her.
The guy standing in front of me was twentysomething, and sporting a messenger bag with tons of pro-vegetarian, anti-cruelty to animal buttons all over it. The bag also had a button which read, "I TALK TO JESUS EVERY WEEK. HE IS MY MEXICAN GARDENER." Polly was polite. I did not take the little twit to task and point out he was trying to convince others to convert to a vegetarian lifestyle which he believed to be morally imperative, while glibly insulting a religion that is morally imperative and dear to billions. Such logic would have been lost on him. I was tempted to point out that he was being racist. After all, why would someone named Jesus (pronounced "Hey Suess" for anyone confused) necessarily be A) Mexican and B) be employed as a gardener? Why not an accountant? Or doctor. They have doctors in Mexico, you know.
Ah, but this is America. You can be wrong if you want to. It's protected speech. More importantly, we are secure. No chip on our shoulder, if you want to wear a button that says 1+1=6, well, that's fine too. Moreover, Christians are strong. We can take it on the chin. No need to start a riot over some dumb bunny's insensitivity and rudeness. Christianity expects no special status. No exemption from critique or, in this case, an uneducated dumbass who will likely never excel any higher than his current job as a barista boy at Starbucks.
I did start an interesting conversation with the guy standing in line behind me, however.
"Gosh, this line is moving so slowly. I was hoping to get to Hardees to indulge in one of their Monster Burgers before going back to work. Have you tried one yet? Fabulous."
"Oh Yeah! They are my fast food fave! Love them. Not today though. My wife and I just had an anniversary lunch at F. Scott's. Best steaks in town, I tell you."
"Mmmmm.... I'm jealous. Have you tried Bud's yet? Their steaks are good, but very pricey. Not F. Scott's by a long shot."
"Yeah, we haven't found anything that beats the medium rare porterhouse steak at F. Scott's. Not even Alexander's."
"I don't get Alexander's. I don't want to cook my own steak. If I wanted to stand around, tending to a huge, juicy, piece of tenderloin sear and sizzle on a grill, I'd save money and use my own BBQ sitting on my deck at home. You have to pay extra to have someone else grill your steak at Alexander's. Doesn't seem fair."
"I agree. Although I think Alexander's meat is a better than a lot in town. Their steaks are more marbled. I wonder what they feed their cows?"
"Ah, probably only organic grains."
"Works for me. You probably won't believe this, but they have the best veal Parmesan at IHOP, of all places!"
"Really? Maybe I'll go there today instead of Hardees."
At the mention of veal, Vegetarian Barista Boy turned a deep shade of reddish purple and stormed out of the bank.. without depositing his precious latte money.
Heh. Heh.
My Christian brother and I high fived each other after his departure.
