I am prepared. My home has a force field. Absolutely no drafts. No fresh air can penetrate my humble abode. Yes, my home is sealed with shrink wrap. Layers and layers of it. In the past I considered shrink wrapping one's windows with Saran Wrap and a hair dryer a bit tacky. Then, I got Novembers CILCO bill. Holy Mother of God, Saran Wrap never looked so fashionable! Shrink Wrapping the windows wasn't difficult, and unless you actually touch them, you really wouldn't notice the windows are covered in plastic. The kits have come a long way. It was kind of fun. The only bummer is that you have to decide whether you want your blinds open or closed for winter. My bedroom feels like a cave. On the other hand, my living room now offers no privacy. What do I care if the neighbors discover I like Judge Judy? I wonder what else I can shrink wrap around here....
I also figured out how to use my programmable thermostat. It looked complicated as hell, but it only took me about fifteen minutes to conquer. Now my house is freezing cold while I'm at work, warms up again shortly before I arrive home, returns to freezing as I slumber under several hundred blankets at night, and warms up again shortly before my alarm clock blasts me out of bed in the morning. The only bummer with this system is that late night trips to the bathroom are quite painful.
It isn't that I can't pay my heating bill. It's just that I'm determined not to give the greedy energy/oil bastards any more money than I have to. I received Decembers CILCO bill yesterday.
Much better.
