If your mind is too open, your brain will fall out. Warning: Names, identities, descriptions, and pictures have been changed and/or used to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. PollyPeoria should not be used or quoted as a source for your senior college thesis.

Friday, February 17

Joke all you like.


I bet you would rather go hunting with Dick Cheney...

than drive over a bridge with Ted Kennedy...

or serve in the Navy with John Kerry...

or have your daughter serve as an intern for Bill Clinton.

Being One Is Fun!!!



I forgive you all for not noticing, I just realized it myself! I will soon be celebrating one whole year of blogging. Huh. That's a lot of time I can't get back. I do think it has been a healthy experience, however. It is much better to rant and vent on faceless strangers than those you live with.

Thanks for putting up with me.

Love, Paulina

A Little Present to Make Up For My Lack of Posts this Week



Hello, Reese.

TGIF Everybody.


LOOOONG week. Everyone has been sick. Some nasty viruses making their way through our fair City. Most of the female office support staff took the week off to nurse their sick kids. I understand and support their need to do so, but can't a few more Dads out there take bedside duty? As there are still more male executives in the business place than women, I suspect a lot more men out there could work from home than women. What is the point of all this fabulous technology... lap tops, blackberries, PDAs, cell phones, faxes, Federal Express, etc., etc., if it doesn't allow us to work from home when duty calls?

I suspect most males in management could work at home now and then if they so chose. My guess is the reason very few do is that not many Dads can stomach barf duty. FINE. NO PROBLEM. I'M NOT BITTER. Frankly, it makes more and more sense as to why men are sent into combat instead of women. Gun fire? No problem. The solution is obvious: Duck and return fire. Soothe and comfort Junior when it is coming out both ends, well, now, THAT'S A PROBLEM. (The term "projectile vomiting" has been uttered repeatedly this week BTW.)

I'm not making light of the courage it takes to go to war. As I've written in the past, Polly would not be fit for combat duty. I would likely cower in a ball, cry, and soil myself when the bullets started to fly or bombs were dropped. I am simply commenting on differences between the sexes. How women generally deal with illness and caring for the ill is one such difference.

Nonetheless, would it be too much to ask male executives 'round here to make a lousy, FRIGGIN', @!#$%*,POT OF COFFEE NOW AND THEN!? You all sure don't have a problem consuming it. Seriously guys, I promise, your testicles will not, I repeat, NOT, shrivel and fall off if you make a pot of coffee.

Also, just so you men know, the few womenfolk who were able to come to work this week were not all suffering from PMS. Nope. We were all just really, really, really annoyed with you. And seriously undercaffinated.

Dorkwads.


Polly apologizes to all the wonderful males out there who put work on the back burner to care for sick kids and/or wives and/or aging parents. I simply don't have the pleasure of being employed by you.

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