Polly for President

Stop laughing. It could happen. Having my own blog for a couple of years is as much of a qualification for the Presidency as running a crappy baseball team. More, really, because my blog proves that I am at least somewhat literate. Like Bush didn't buy and snort his way through Yale. Chill out Vonster, everyone knows Gore did the same thing at Haaaavard.

Anyway, I'm throwing my hat in the ring. Or at least seriously considering it. That is, I've begun an Exploratory Committee to investigate the possibility. Which means that I may accept donations for my campaign, which may or may not ever happen. As with most Exploratory Committees, my committee and I will decide whether or not I am capable of being a worthy contender based on whether or not I receive enough donations during this period of exploration. (Anyone remember Elizabeth Dole?)

Frankly, I think I should just go beg City Council and demand to be designated a TIF district. After consuming all that eggnog over the holidays my arse is certainly large enough to be designated a district, why shouldn't it be tax free? At a minimum, Council could declare it an Enterprise Zone. Er, my ass as an Enterprise Zone? Doesn't sound nice. At all. So scratch that. I'll stick with the TIF. After all, everyone knows that the best way to get an unnecessary, undeserved tax break for an unsuccessful project is to beg local City Government.

I promise, Polly's ass is significantly smaller than David Joseph's.