IMHO: The HOI fair is NASTY

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Someone has to say this plainly. The HOI Fair is gross. Yes, it has its good parts: Bill's Lemonade Shake-ups, 4-H displays, agriculture and animal competitions. Lets be honest. Most of us don't go for the educational features. Few would be surprised to find some year soon that such exhibitions aren't offered anymore. Most of us go because something new is in town. We envision a temporary miniature Disney World waiting to wow and entertain. We go for the corn dogs and the rides.

Expect to pay Disney prices. However, unlike Disney, the grounds won't be clean. They say that the rides are inspected, but they sure haven't been washed. Did anyone see the inflatable "Titanic" slide? If you let your kid on it, I recommend de-lousing and testing for disease. I bit my nails as my excited young niece took a seat on the tower ride. Is it wise to let an innocent child ride this thing when the operator has mossy teeth (literally) and a prison tattoo? I could have easily spent the same amount of money at Six Flags as I did at the Fair and not have had to endure near the same filth or seedy people. Six Flags employs engineers and the inspectors always know where to find the rides.

What rock did some of these employees/operators crawl from under? Some of the clientele was a bit freaky too. I feared that if I let go of my niece's hand, the next time I would see her would be on the side of a milk carton. Advice to those who wish to show off their belly rings/tattoos: If you can pinch more than an inch (or five) DON'T DO IT. Such ornamentation is designed for the very young and taut. Those who don't qualify (myself included) should be banned by law from such displays. Yeah, well your first amendment right to free speech doesn't trump my right to not be blinded for life, Buddy.

There was some whining/reporting regarding low attendance this year. They tried to blame it on the heat, but it's always hot in July. Moreover, nights are quite tolerable. Nights are when the real freaks attend and I bet few parents are willing to subject their young to such an environment. My guess is that Peoria has caught on to the fact that the cost of attending the fair far exceeds its value. To all the carneys out there: Get a clue, get out the Formula 409, or go out of business.