If your mind is too open, your brain will fall out. Warning: Names, identities, descriptions, and pictures have been changed and/or used to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. PollyPeoria should not be used or quoted as a source for your senior college thesis.

Tuesday, August 16

Holy Mother of God! You must act now! Time is running out! These prices will never be seen again! No reasonable offer refused! No credit check!

My father is the cheapest man alive. He never picks up the check. When my mother leaves a tip for a waitress at a restaurant, he waits until her back is turned and then steals it. The only way my mom could ever get consent to make a major purchase - say a lamp - was to wear him down. She wouldn't stop talking about the lamp. She would find a way, no matter how inappropriate, to insert it into every conversation. "Your best friend died today? That's sad. You know George would have loved the lamp I want. He always was a great fan of good lighting." Pictures of the lamp would appear wrapped in a napkin with Dad's sliverware at the dinner table. His eyes would take in the lamp first thing upon waking in the morning as a picture of the lamp would be taped to the alarm clock. A picture of the lamp would be posted on the bathroom door so Dad could ponder it while using the toilet. Eventually Mom would always win. "Damn it Donna, buy the thing already. I just don't want to hear about it any more." The strategy was annoying as hell but fool proof.

Apparently this is City Council's strategy regarding the possible purchase of the water company. Citizens overwhelming voted not to buy it, but council continues to investigate it. We have heard our rates will go up, but now Third District Councilman Bob Manning - CPA and auditor extraordinare - has taken another look at the books. He sees something no one else has seen before (despite a VERY expensive investigation process). Our rates might go down! No matter what it will profitable! But we must act NOW before interest rates go up and the deadline passes! Starting to sound like one of those obnoxious used car commericals, eh? I get so sick of hearing stupid announcers yelling at me on t.v. and radio that I would be willing to buy a lemon if I never had to endure another one.

The residents of Denver, Colorado will soon be paying an eight percent increase on their water bills. Why? Because they have been dutifully CONSERVING water. Frankly, I didn't see it on my last visit, Denverites water their sidewalks. I think Colorado has simply recieved Illinois' share of rain. The City of Denver owns the water company and is dependent on it as a source of revenue. So, if residents don't use enough water,although they are required by law to conserve it, the City is screwed. If Denver's water company was privately owned the City could just say "Sorry Suckers. No rate hike for you. Tell your investors too bad so sad." However, since Denver needs the revenue, residents will be punished for being evironmentally responsible.

So, about Peoria's possible purchase of the water company... BUY THE DAMN THING ALREADY!!! I just don't want to hear about it anymore.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

PollyPeoria,
Many of the items that Councilman Manning found were not available before the City voted to purchase. Most of the finaces were "gross numbers gleemed from ICC and Stock Exchange required public filings. What Councilman Manning has had the opportunity and the expensive consultants didn't were the raw numbers and the accounts charged against the raw numbers to develope the gross numbers that become public filings. IL-AM would not share the breakdown numbers with the City's consultants because of business privacy until the process in the 1893 agreement allowed for the sharing of the information. It is a frustration, but a reality that until the City actually voted to pursue due diligence, Il-Am had every right and perhaps even a responsibility to it's stockholders to not divulge those raw numbers.

Anonymous said...

There is a vast difference between an accountant and one who is qualified to make decisions concerning a business viability. The accountant is a minor part of the enterprise. One who is expert in the area of a particular business is the one to put credence in.

As they say, figures lie and liars figure.

pollypeoria said...

Gary,

So, Manning did in fact have information previously unavailable. Thanks for clearing that up. Manning strikes me as a very intelligent man, but I'm concerned City Council may vote to continue very expensive due diligence based on one person's interpretation of the numbers. If we can legally get Manning into IL-AM headquarters to go through the books, shouldn't we get a whole team of geeks sifting through the raw numbers?

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