Review of the week: The Greatest Game Ever Played.

I usually hate taking kids to see movies. Typically I find myself stuck watching melodramatic tweens doing their best to invent and then cure a crisis for two hours. I would rather have a bikini wax. The kind that Las Vegas show girls have to endure. No one should have to endure Hillary Duff for two hours. Ever watch Barney on PBS? Remember the kid actors on Barney, those politically correct hams? Well, they grew up and became Hillary Duff. Yes, she can sing, but oh, she can not act! Hillary Duff is the one lone reason movie theatres are justified in obtaining hard liquor licenses.

Anyhoo, imagine my surprise when I plopped into a chair at Willow Knolls with my nieces and actually enjoyed a Disney flick - one not made by Pixar. The Greatest Game Ever Played is worth seeing whether you have kids or not. It worth seeing even if you can't stand golf. It shows maturity and immaturity and proves that age is no guarantee of either. (Anyone else ever see a grown man bite back tears or beat the non-living crap out of his clubs at Weaver Ridge?) The movie shows how childish, spoiled, and bratty we all look when we lose it. It also explains the stupidity and consequences behind the class wars. The movie reminded me how much we all secretly and deeply crave approval, especially from our parents. I was also reminded to give said approval. Most importantly, "The Greatest Game" showed that we tend to construct our own barriers. Our competitors don't beat us, we beat ourselves. Even my seven year old niece (who has no interest in sports, let alone golf) was completely entertained and enthralled. The Greatest Game Ever played is theorectically based on a true story.

My only gripe was smoking was made glamorous. Not cigarettes, but pipes and cigars. Granted, the movie took place at the turn of the century at an exclusive country club. Smoking was likely the rule, not the exception. However, did Disney need an actor to blow perfect, billowy, O rings? During a tournament, when the defending champ started to feel pressure, he lit up a pipe. His buddy said, "Never saw you smoke on the job before." The Champ's reply? "Should have started four holes ago." Nice going Eisner. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

I whispered, "Ew, gross!" to the Girls to combat the glam cigar scenes and reminded them doctors didn't know smoking was dangerous in the olden days. I also reminded them that these were, after all, dumb, icky old boys with cooties we were watching.

Other than the smoking and some mild drinking, I didn't see any reason for the PG rating. There are some other kid's movies out right now, but they seem dark. Tim Burton's Corpse Bride and Oliver Twist (which isn't being hailed as a movie fit for kids). Anyway, I can personally attest that anyone seven years old or older will understand The Greatest Game. Enjoy.