If your mind is too open, your brain will fall out. Warning: Names, identities, descriptions, and pictures have been changed and/or used to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. PollyPeoria should not be used or quoted as a source for your senior college thesis.

Monday, January 2

The Biggest Non Story of 2005: Farris Hassan



Oh, permit me not to care. Some over indulged prep school Ft. Lauderdale teenager, equipped with more testosterone than intelligence, broke open his penny bank, took over a grand, got himself a visa, and landed his acne faced ass in Iraq.

SO WHAT?! If Farris wanted to do some worth while reporting (instead of just three weeks off), he lives within spitting distance of the hell hole that is Miami. Miami is one of the most violent cities in America. Plenty of drugs, guns, and thugs to see there. Plenty of poverty in Miami too. The wannabe journalist could have found lots of triumph over tragedy to write about working at a soup kitchen.

Hell, in a year and half this brat could actually join the military and do something productive in Iraq, instead of just stepping foot in the country, finding a swank hotel, and then whining to the embassy to bail him out. What peeves me more than this dorkwad's stupidity (we expect teens to be self absorbed and occasionally very stupid), but the media's devotion to the story. This non-event probably received more attention than the combat death of any soldier.

Gosh, I sure hope Farris had enough money to get his "I went to Iraq and all I got was this lousy t-shirt and a whole lot of unwarranted press coverage" souvenir.

4 comments:

Mahkno said...

I am sure the FBI will be spending some time with him and surely he will now be a 'person of interest'. With a last name like Hassan... would seem little doubt. Perhaps he will turn his new found 'journalistic' skills to the issue of domestic surveilance.

Floyd said...

Nah. This kid's just plain dumb. If he had done a little bit of research before making his grand trip to the other side of the world, he would have learned that it's not the place to go, especially when no one knows and can't at least keep an eye on you. Dumb high school kid move. Ballsy, however. But just stoopid.

Anonymous said...

An abundance of hormones, a woeful lack of intellect. Yeah, I can see how you would admire the kid, Chase.

Anonymous said...

Maybe I didn't get the whole story but could someone tell me how, at age 16, he accomplished this being a minor?

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