Polly for President

Stop laughing. It could happen. Having my own blog for a couple of years is as much of a qualification for the Presidency as running a crappy baseball team. More, really, because my blog proves that I am at least somewhat literate. Like Bush didn't buy and snort his way through Yale. Chill out Vonster, everyone knows Gore did the same thing at Haaaavard.

Anyway, I'm throwing my hat in the ring. Or at least seriously considering it. That is, I've begun an Exploratory Committee to investigate the possibility. Which means that I may accept donations for my campaign, which may or may not ever happen. As with most Exploratory Committees, my committee and I will decide whether or not I am capable of being a worthy contender based on whether or not I receive enough donations during this period of exploration. (Anyone remember Elizabeth Dole?)

Frankly, I think I should just go beg City Council and demand to be designated a TIF district. After consuming all that eggnog over the holidays my arse is certainly large enough to be designated a district, why shouldn't it be tax free? At a minimum, Council could declare it an Enterprise Zone. Er, my ass as an Enterprise Zone? Doesn't sound nice. At all. So scratch that. I'll stick with the TIF. After all, everyone knows that the best way to get an unnecessary, undeserved tax break for an unsuccessful project is to beg local City Government.

I promise, Polly's ass is significantly smaller than David Joseph's.

And the award for the most yard signs goes to.....

George Jacob who is attempting to keep his gifted At-Large seat on the City Council. Damn. His signs are everywhere. I think they are breeding. I'm seeing them in my sleep.

I admit, I'm a Jacob fan. I gave George a very hard time at first. I think Polly (subconsciously, of course) dreamed Ardis would pick ME for the post. I still have some hang ups with allowing those with liquor licenses to serve on City Council. I don't think George, specifically, would abuse the power, but someone else will.

Despite the very powerful strings that were pulled in order to give him the post, George seems like an honest and humble guy. He abstains from voting on any liquor requests that come before the Council. However, his posting opens the door for more liquor license holders to hold City Council seats, which is inevitable and problematic. What if there are four, five, six or more such Council members? They would all have to abstain from voting on liquor licenses which is quite a few votes. Moreover, council members retain influence regarding liquor licenses regardless of whether or not they abstain from voting. (i.e., "You vote for my bar owner buddy, and I will vote for extra funding for more police patrols in your District.) As it is, a liquor license vote could be held up by a tie with just one council member abstaining.

That aside, I really like George Jacob. I was pessimistic that a rich guy from very North Peoria would get his hands dirty with those of less economic means. Wrong. "Curious George" -as dubbed by Molly Parker and Jennifer Davis- shows up at meetings well prepared, doesn't make long winded speeches only to glorify himself, and has gone above and beyond by spending time in the East Bluff needling (my word) the police to be more aggressive with the criminal\slumlord\renter-from-hell elements that are ruining a formerly nice neighborhood and could be again with a little TLC.

George's use of so many yard signs is perplexing. I know politicians shouldn't take anything for granted, but a beer distributor has many friends, even if he isn't as likeable as Jacob. Moreover, Jacob is cozy with Peoria Firefighters/election workers extraordinaire. If Jacob can't make it through the run off, I will be dumbfounded.

Jacob's campaign colors- reddishbrownish and white is strangely familiar. Weren't those Thetford's colors in the last Council election? Problematic for Gale. My theory as to why she is running... to get rid of the leftover\plethora\fire hazard of yard signs overflowing from her basement from her last failed election.

Yo! Willy!

Da Bears are going to the Super Bowl. I don't care. Please stop talking about it. What, all the sudden Peoria loves Chicago? As if our town has something to do with this "miracle." Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them and all -well, I would be- if I cared. For me to get really excited, I have to see how this was going to be a financial boon to our fair State. It seems to me that the dollars will mostly fall in Miami, where the game will be played. Why is the hallmark football game of the year being played in the tropics anyway? It's football, not some prissy cricket match. How teams deal with crummy weather is part of the sport. They should play the game in Chicago, Denver, or Buffalo.

I'm sure Peoria had a big impact the great presidential hopeful Barak Obama as well. Seeing an outline of Illinois projected on the national news sure does a lot to swell the pride of some Peorians. Whatever makes you happy.

Today's Word On the Street caught my eye. The last couple of paragraphs anyway. I'm not sure why someone from our region throwing a fundraiser favoring Edwards over Obama is column worthy. However, Aaron Schock's relationship with Junction City owner Alexis Khazzam is interesting. Aaron received $26K from Khazzam in his later days of campaigning. Now Khazzam has employed Schock. Something about Schock doing something for Khazzam by heading up Project Springboard! The project will encourage Bradley students/grads to compete for start up funds for their very own Peoria business. Uh, okay. Sounds like someone has been watching too many Apprentice re-runs. I'm sure Alexis Khazzam is aware of our brand spanking new taxpayer funded business incubator being built within spitting distance of Aaron's office. The whole thing is probably legit, but odd. We will have to wait for Aaron to file a tax return in order to see how much this alliance/job pays. To be fair, the State Rep gig doesn't pay much. Neither did the School Board stint. Most successful pols are independently wealthy. Maybe Aaron is trying to shore up his personal bank accounts in order to move on to bigger and better offices? Aaron, I love ya, but you really need to write a cheesy book with a cheesy subtitle if you ever want to be president.

Speaking of Aaron Schock, WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO WILLY NILLY?! I'd think you'd be all over this. I miss you, Buddy. Time to shake off the post Ray Lahood re-election blues and get back to blogging. Jeeze. Your team took the House and the Senate. The White House is yours to lose. Isn't that better than just getting Ray Dingleberry bootkicked out of office? The election gods had to do something to keep you humble.

Hell. Tony Robbins Style.

I hate temps. Actually, I don't hate them, a lot of temps are brighter and harder working than some of the slobs employed here. Rather, I hate when the big boss loses his "real" secretary for any amount of time, because the temp dutifully lets all calls through, including dorkwads attempting to motivate us workerbees to be, "Simply the Best." Ah, the world of motivational speaking. What Corporate America does when desperate to calm shareholders. "Yes, profits weren't what we expected, what we promised, but don't worry. We hired those top notch Voo Doo Priests at Six Sigma to turn our organization into a lean, mean, profit churning machine. All is well, no need to sell."

This year Six Sigma's call didn't get through. A little disappointing, because I did enjoy watching our organization's head honcho run onto stage swathed in white pajamas and black belt and doing fake Karate kicks. Almost had a stroke repressing my laughter.

No Six Sigma this year, but some other emperor without clothes will undoubtedly throw motivator words such as "synergy" "leadership" and "goals" our way. Yes, we'll learn that only discontent will motivate us past our pre-conceived limitations. We discover that we must "name it to claim it." Self talk. I can all but promise the phrase "Self Talk" will be used repeatedly. If my self talk is negative, so will my results. My mentoring will be negative, and thus I will be a negative leader and our corporate culture will be poisoned and our bottom line will suffer. What do you want to bet that Enron held these type of seminars every week? Part of the pain of these sessions is watching first timers. They want to be positive team players, so they get sucked into this cult like atmosphere. Deprogramming could take up to a year to complete. After a year of plastering on a fake smile, and responding with a hearty "FANTASTIC!" when asked simply, "How are you?" First timers realize that yelling "FANTASTIC! did not further their careers, relationships, or provide winning lottery numbers.

Why not just hand out The Little Engine that Could to every employee at the company Christmas party? It would save the Company (and investors) money. Damn. I hope that doesn't count as bad self talk. I will spend two working days at a pump up pep rally run by people who have no clue as to what we do (Here's a hint you pseudo psycho wannabes: WE'RE A CHARITY! WE DON'T HAVE INVESTORS. WE HAVE CONTRIBUTORS. WE DON'T MAKE MONEY, WE BEG FOR IT!) What peeves me even more is that my workload will still have to be completed by me -Peons don't get a temp- on time, which means my evenings will be spent at the office. I'm salaried, which means no overtime. Grrrr. There goes that negative self talk again. I know, if I can believe it, I can achieve it. I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, I don't give a rat's ass if people like me.

Go ahead. Laugh at my pain. I can admit my life is a bad SNL skit. Take comfort knowing CAT recently sent an employee to address City Council regarding the possibilty of teaming together in the event of another major snow storm. This employee was a Six Sigma black belt no less. Yup. We are so screwed.



Voo Doo Priest Tony Robbins awakened the giant within in 2000 and got divorced, then quickly married a blonde he met at one of his seminars.

Misery Chic

So many celebrities doing good deeds these days. I hope that's what it is. I don't mean to be cynical. I can't help it. Seems to me that it is much, much, much easier to adopt a child from a war torn, famine plague region of the world, and then turn said kid over to a nanny to raise. You look good and don't have to get your hands dirty. There will still be time to get another tattoo, collagen lip implants and hubby can keep his the appointment for more blonde highlights. Really want to impress the world with a charitable act? Buy a manse in Katrina ravaged New Orleans! Yes, you and yours won't be denied a single comfort, BUT, you will have a front row seat viewing the misery of others.

Don't get me wrong. I am humbled by those who put themselves in harms way with a passion to end the pain and suffering of others.

What's So Funny About Peace and Love and Understanding?

He was about equal rights, civil rights, yes. But he was just as adamant about attaining his goals through non-violent means. To use violence in order to reach "The Dream" wasn't The Dream at all, but defeat.

Bush, Cheney, and every gangbanger out there should have to complete a course- call it, "King 101" as a part of rehabilitation, incarceration, impeachment, or whatever.

Oh Well. I Wasn't Using My Civil liberties Anyway.

How special. On Martin Luther King Day no less.

From today's New York Times:

Vice President Dick Cheney defended efforts by the Pentagon and the C.I.A. to obtain financial records of Americans suspected of terrorism or espionage, calling the practice a "perfectly legitimate activity" used partly to protect troops on military bases.

Huh. Wonder if I can expect the CIA to go over my tax return with a fine tooth comb because I'm seriously considering leaving the Republican Party. I'd be willing to wager that Bush has killed more people than abortion of late.

So... Billy, Barbara, and Clyde- can you make room for one more?

We Are Making Enemies Faster Than We Can Kill Them.

Which is the main problem Bush seems to be overlooking. Hunting down terrorists, potential terrorists, wanna-be-terrorists, (and folks who happen to have the poor fortune of living next door to any of the aforementioned)"over there" before they have the opportunity to find their way "over here" must be the stupidest foreign policy of all time. We've pissed off so many people at this point that the U.S. would have to use nukes for this to work, and that isn't likely since we don't want to contract thyroid cancer when we harvest the oil.

Terror hunting has given governments carte blanche to do as they like, when they like. No one blinks when the U.S. bombs suspected terrorists in Somalia now? Not confirmed terrorists, mind you, suspected terrorists. Although the U.S. may or may not have killed terrorists, one thing is certain. Both sides agree that confirmed -not suspected- civilians were hit.

Huh. China killed some of its own last week too. Of course, the Chinese government is known for this. Their official excuse this time? "They were terrorists."

Of course they were.