Best Reality T.V. Show: Peoria City Council

Wow. City Council was fascinating tonight. The entire five and half hours of it. I'm not being sarcastic. I was informed, enlightened, impressed, and entertained. Seriously, there should be Academy Awards for a few of tonight's performances. My picks:

Winner, "Biggest Surprise" Category:
The Golden Toilet goes to.... Bill Spears.
Council voted NOT to proceed with due diligence to buy the water company. The biggest surprise, to me, was that Fourth District Councilman Bill Spears voted against continuing due diligence. I thought he was cozy with the idea of the purchase, especially after Third District Councilman Manning did further digging into the numbers.

Winner, "What the Hell?!" Category:
The Golden Toilet goes to.... Bill Spears
Maybe I was suffering from a stroke, but did Bill Spears actually say that the possible continuous non depreciating revenue stream was NOT a good reason to buy the water company?! Huh?! WTF?

Winner, "Best Speech" Category:
The Golden Toilet goes to....George Jacob
As Bill Dennis says, Jacob has been quiet as a lamb. He wooed the chambers tonight with an articulate and thoughtful speech where he stated that if Peoria City Council purchased the water company, Peoria would immediately be over 400 million dollars in debt. No matter how profitable the water company might be, gasps could be heard when he stated that nifty sum. You can talk revenue stream all night long (and they did) but Jacob was the only councilmember who talked debt. This vote shows Jacob's true colors. We can be fairly comfy that he isn't a Chamber lackey and that he will indeed be looking to keep his At Large seat in '07.

Winner, "No Surprises Here" Category:
The Golden Toilet goes to... Patrick Nichting
He was against government buying a private company all along. He wouldn't have voted to buy Illinois American if the cost was fifty cents. Nichting always votes against new or higher taxes. (But votes for free parking garages for doctors.) Tonight he also voted down a new revenue stream. Nichting's views on the water company might be more personal than representative of his constituents. After all, where do all those PAAG, Peoria Area Chamber of Commerce members, and developers live? Nichting went against a lot of his friends and campaign contributors. We knew he would, but it was nice to see nonetheless.

Winner, "Most Patronizing" Category:
The Golden Toilet goes to.... Barbara Van Auken
Van Auken's water speech tonight was painful. I cringed with embarrassment for her. It was BAD. Really, really, really bad. She repeated her campaign pledge of "listen, learn, and lead" and then went on to say that listening to her constituents didn't necessary mean that she was going to abide by (82%) them. Her definition of "leadership" apparently. Van Auken was convinced by Manning's numbers. I respect that. They turned my head too. Barbara needed to stop talking to the public like they were still in nursery school and stick to which numbers/projections convinced her.

Winner, "Best Actor in a Comedy"
The Golden Toilet goes to... Mayor Ardis
Despite the length of the meeting, the guy was "on" tonight. Little quips and humorous one liners kept people from hurting one another. My favorite line was when a member of the public went to the podium to speak at the wrong time. Ardis corrected the poor gentleman, saying "Sorry, your comments will have to wait until it is time for 'Citizens to Address the Council' which should be in, oh, another three, four hours."

Winner, "Please, Oh Please, Shut the F--- Up" Category:
The Golden Toilet goes to.... Gary Sandberg
I love him, but he couldn't let anything go and repeated himself over and over and over and over and over... Tonight's session would have been three hours instead of over five if Gary could take a loss (water company buy out) or a win (Warehouse District Rescission) on the chin. The shocker here is that Gary took this category instead of Morris.

Winner, "First to begin a 2007 City Council Campaign"
The Golden Toilet goes to.... Eric Turner
He couldn't be Mayor, but he sure in the hell doesn't want to lose his At Large schtick. Turner told us that personally he was for buying the water company, but couldn't ignore the voters. He meant the advisory referendum, but not really.

Winner, "Consistently Stupid" Category
The Golden Dunce Cap goes to.... Clyde Gulley
Did anyone else stay awake long enough to listen to Clyde's ramblings regarding the Warehouse District? Why Sandberg felt the need to reply to Clyde's idiocy is beyond me. The rescission passed with only Gulley voting "nay." I need to do more research on this one, but it appears that the City has had two years to get its' crap together and develop a "Design Review Board" so that the relaxed codes of the mixed use Warehouse District doesn't turn into the seventh circle of hell where companies and residents try to co-exist without any parking. (If you've been to Chi-town you know what I'm talking about.) Ignoring both the Zoning and Heart of Peoria Commissions recommendations, Council voted to rescind the District until Planning Director Pat Landis could get around to doing her job and construct a Design Review and Standard Boards.

Winner, "Woke Up and Smelled the Coffee - Finally!" Category
The Golden Toilet goes to... John Morris
First of all, did anyone else notice that John Boy didn't shave today? He appears to be attempting to grow a goatee. No, I'm not kidding. Anyway, Morris has seen the light. He won't be headed for congress anytime soon and will have to work hard to keep his seat in the next large election. Therefore, John Boy went against his Chamber buddies and voted against the water buy out. I'm telling you, if LaHood had decided to run for Gov, Morris' vote would have been different.

Winner, "Wordier and Weirder than Ever" Category
The Golden Toilet goes to... Chuck Grayeb
You had to be there. Sorry.

Winner, "Sleaziest Lawyer" Category
The Golden Toilet goes to... Jack Teplitz
His controversial and apparently exclusive neighborhood association (These folks charge $50.00 for a place at the table!) didn't get to retain their brethren on the Med Tech Commission, and he tried to draw blood by accusing the new mayor of trying to dismantle Med Tech. Mayor Ardis kindly explained his appointment choice, thanked the dismissed Dr. Tim Vega for his service and then the entire council voted to support Ardis' choice. Steam was seen spewing from Teplitz's ears. You gotta feel a little bad for Jack. He had to go home to Marcella.

Winner, "Best Councilman" Category
The BIG Golden Toilet goes to... Bob Manning
It became clear that this newbie worked his ass off trying to keep a possible purchase alive. Even those who vehemently disagreed (moi) were impressed. He had done his research and came prepared. He didn't change the vote, but he did change minds. Manning's support of a purchase was gutsy. Had he been successful he might have been committing political suicide. Take comfort Bob. You didn't get your way, but you won the crowd and you'll be able to keep your job. Could be a lot worse. Manning's -hopefully sarcastic- closing comments regarding the failed buy out were priceless. (Thanks to Dave Dahl who got it word for word.) "I do want to applaud some of my colleagues for finding financial prudence in establishing a new standard for committing future city dollars: it must be self sustaining, there can be no uncertainties, and no risk. I'll look forward to working with you on maintaining these standards in the future."

Ouch.