America and the Right to be Stupid

I was listening to NPR in the car Tuesday and one report made me so mad I actually had to pull over, have a talk with myself, and calm down.

Two men in Pakistan. Father and adult son. Both are naturalized U.S. citizens. Both have spent the last four years living in Pakistan. Both are related to a convicted terrorist. Father and son want to come back to America, but find themselves on the "No Fly" list. Which means they will only be allowed to board an airplane headed to the United States after they submit to an interview with the FBI which may or may not include taking a lie detector test.

"No fair!" Father and son whine. "We're American citizens! We should not have to endure such humiliation from our own government. Besides, as Americans, we have the right to be stupid, er, we mean, silent." Being true Americans they file a lawsuit. Said lawsuit has not been dismissed out of hand by a judge, and will likely be heard.

Like there aren't millions of American citizens -who haven't spent the last four years in the Middle East or are related to a convicted terrorist- who also must endure such security screenings? I know a man who jokes that when he wants some action he gets in line at the nearest airport.

Has anyone bothered to inform these Pakistani Americans that "the right to remain silent" is intended to protect those who have been charged with committing a crime? They haven't. Moreover, that they are welcome to keep silent but will simply have to remain in Pakistan?

If this case is actually ever heard in a courtroom, it is ever mounting proof that our country is being run by a very powerful yet pampered, insulated, and naive klan. Not a good combination when attempting to fight a global war on terror. If true, we are so screwed.

Our country has done a lot in an attempt to correct horrid and shameful injustices of the past. Nearly every American first grader has internalized the words, "It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside, it only matters who you are on the inside." Our legal system has integrated schools, tried its hand at affirmative action, and generally outted racists for the morons they truly are.

Oddly enough, we now find education and guilt can be a deadly combination. We have concentrated on teaching social justice but have completely neglected teaching street smarts. Perhaps those who run our country from have had no real need for street smarts. They were raised in the safest white bread suburbs. They attended haute schools and colleges where they learned that crime was merely a symptom of society neglecting its own. Huh. I wonder how they processed the criminal convictions of Martha Stewart and Kenneth Lay. Parents probably didn't give them enough hugs. The insulated and privileged did not learn that some people actually choose to be greedy, cruel, and even evil. They admirably learned to respect all religions and accept all nationalities, but did not pick up on the fact that others were being taught to hate and to further their religious agenda by slaughtering innocent people.

Powerful naive intellectuals of this country have had it really good. The world made sense until 9/11. Then, Oh. Crap. The privileged like airplanes. They really enjoy world travel. They are insulated no more. On 9/11 those in first class and corner offices died the same gruesome deaths as those in the cattle car and janitor's closet.

Remarkably, these intellectuals remain painfully slow. How unfortunate that regular folk have to live under the leadership of bright, educated people who can't process the fact that some hate us, want to kill us, simply because we are Americans.

It is a plague. I call it Street Smart Retardation. SSR may be a legitimate addiction, illness, disease, disorder, addiction or whatever. After all, one does not choose raises them. They may have little or no control over the fact that they have been brainwashed out of balance. Have a little sympathy.

It is unfair -but necessary- that blind people not be allowed to drive. It is also unfair -but necessary- that those suffering from SSR not be allowed sit on the bench, make laws, or serve as TSA personnel.

I propose that street smarts be included as a new section on the SATs and graduate school admittance exams. Here is a sample question.

You find yourself walking alone, lost, late at night in an unfamiliar deserted neighborhood. Suddenly you see a very large man coming towards you. You notice that the whites of his eyes are yellow and glassy. He appears not to have bathed for weeks. You notice the handle of a gun sticking out of the waistband of his jeans. This person also happens to be African American. In response:

A. You assume that this guy is dangerous, has hepatitis and a substance abuse problem. You think it is possible that he might rob you or worse. You turn around and run in the opposite direction as fast as you possibly can.

B. You are not sure if this guy is good or bad. Maybe he is just homeless and hungry and intends you no harm. Nonetheless, as he nears you make sure your finger is on the trigger of your mace... just in case.

C. This poor man is one of God's beloved creatures, a member of the human race just like yourself. Maybe he lost his job as a corporate executive at IBM last week in the last round of job cuts. Maybe his job was outsourced to India. Poor thing. He was likely abused and neglected as a little boy. Now the pitiful bloke is downtrodden and homeless. Hey! Maybe he can give you good directions! As he nears closer, you grab your wallet. You want to give him some cash for a hot meal.