Fine. Go ahead and sue me! The week in review.

The week has been entertaining, to say the least. I started off the week by seeing The Forty Year Old Virgin at The Rave. Funny, but not side splitting. It is a good flick but after all the great reviews I expected to be convulsing with laughter. Funny, this was my same reaction to "My Big Fat Greek Wedding." Is it a good idea to be laughing at a forty year old virgin in this era of AIDS and angst? After all, forty is the new thirty and thirty is the new twenty, and there is nothing weird about a twenty year old virgin. Rare maybe, but not weird. (And no, not that it's any of your freaking business, but I'm neither.) The Rave Theatre annoyed me. When they opened you could buy decently priced drinks and popcorn... and you could get refills. Now everything is obnoxiously overpriced and refills are available only on large size stuff. Note to The Rave: Popcorn is about fifty cents a silo. No one's overhead is that high. Besides, if you can eat a large sized popcorn and large drink and then roll (literally) yourself out to concessions for a refill... well, Friend, it may be time to check into a lap band or gastric by-pass surgery.

Monday was so long ago, and I can't remember anything worthwhile happening.

Ah, but Tuesday! That was damn good fun. This week's extra long episode of As the Toilet Flushes ,a/k/a Peoria City Council, did not disappoint. The Council debated the pros and cons of a water company buyout and things got a bit crunchy between Councilmembers. There were moments when I thought Sandberg was going to have a stroke and Manning might cry. There were many catchy quotes, it's hard to pick a favorite. Bill Dennis has some good ones on his site. I think I will go with Fifth District's Patrick Nichting's reply to one councilman's question, "I wonder kind of water the City's appraiser was drinking?" (In reference to the City's original estimated purchase price of $90 million.) Nichting replied, "I think the city's appraiser was drinking the kind of water with scotch in it."

Regardless of how you feel about the final 6-5 vote against buying the water company, it is clear that we have a new and much better leader at the helm. Mayor Jim Ardis kept things far more civilized than former Mayor Ran$burg ever could, and did it with humor to boot. Ardis was able to reign in Wildboy Sandberg, putting Sandberg politely in his place after he called those opposed to the purchase "spineless." Could you imagine how Tuesday's council proceedings would have progressed under Ran$burg? Talk about vitriol!

Wednesday. Damn. I wish I would have been at the PETA protest. I didn't know they were gonna be naked! Well, nearly. This is the second nearly nude protest PETA has held downtown in recent memory. I think PETA is a group of perverts and exhibitionists. Matt Hale, The Klan and pro-lifers know you need a permit to protest, why can't PETA pervs make the same effort? Because they want to get arrested. The protestors were wearing flesh toned panties. Tease. My momma always said, "If you're gonna do something, might as well do it right." Seriously, why couldn't the female put on a flesh toned Wonderbra too? When we hear PETA is coming to town next time, lets all get together and stage a counter protest/pig roast. I loved the pic in the PJ Star showing a guy in the crowd taking a picture of the pervs with his cell phone. I'm with Vonster on this one. PETA stands for: People Eating Tasty Animals.

Thursday. The truth hurts. Before I let loose on this next topic, let me just say, Polly is not at her ideal weight. It sucks. Big Time. (No pun intended.) Calorie counting, working out and just saying "NO" to chocolate is hell. That said, and assuming the print media got the story right, someone should give the following woman a hard kick in her big, fat, lard ass. From Thursday's PJ Star:

Rochester, N.H. - Dr. Terry Bennett says he tells obese patients their weight is bad for their health and their love lives, but the lecture drove one patient to complain to the state.

"I told a fat woman she was obese," Bennett says. "I tried to get her attention. I told her, 'You need to get on a program, join a group of like-minded people and peel off the weight that is going to kill you.'"

He says he wrote a letter of apology to the woman when he found out she was offended. But Bennett rejected a state medical oversight board's proposal that he attend a medical education course and acknowledge that he made a mistake.

"What really makes me angry is he told the truth," said Mindy Haney, a patient of Bennett's who credited him with helping her lose more than 150 pounds. "How can you punish somebody for that?"

To answer your question Mindy, this is America and we like to punish for any perceived slight. Apparently, no one told Ms. Lard Ass that if she didn't like Dr. Bennett's bedside manner, she was free to find a kinder, gentler doc. One who would ignore the fact she is overdue for a massive coronary. Ah, but then she wouldn't be able to sue for malpractice. Speaking of which...

Friday. Today's PJ Star has an article regarding the new medical malpractice legislation Blago signed yesterday. The new law says that NON economic damages such as pain and suffering will be limited to $500,000 from a doctor and $1 million from a hospital. Plaintiff's attorneys are whining. If you are hurt by a doctor or hospital the law still allows for an unlimited amount of economic damages such as lost pay from work, medical costs, day care, etc. Something in our system has to give. If a drunk surgeon cuts off the wrong leg, I'd want his hide. I would want to make the twit suffer. Yet, Dr. Drunk won't be the one paying my jury reward, whether it is $1.5 million or $150 million - for which I would cut off my own leg. Insurance companies write the check, but their customers (docs) pay in the form higher mal practices premiums, who pass the extra cost to patients like you and me, who then bitch and moan about a $200 two minute routine doctor's visit. Opponents say that insurance companies pay very few jury rewards. The reason malpractice premiums are so high is that insurance companies are trying to pad losses suffered in the stock market. I suspect the truth lies somewhere in the middle, but I'm going to side with the docs. Medicine is not a precise science and it is likely that most injuries are due to complications and not incompetence. Even if the doc is at fault, winning big money only punishes other patients by increasing the cost of medical care.

Peoria City Council debated this issue a few months back. After reading a billboard, then At-large Councilman Ardis was deeply concerned doctors were fleeing en mass from Illinois. (Don't you love it when a politician doesn't realize he is being lobbied?) The Council considered a motion to limit jury rewards in the City of Peoria. It isn't unheard of, some county in Wisconsin passed a similar ordinance. Although it is not clear if the Wisconsin ordinance will hold up to a legal challenge. After hearing from plaintiff's attorneys, doctors, and hospital administrators, Peoria City Council scratched itself, shrugged its shoulders, and courageously voted to ask Springfield to do something. At the time I rolled my eyes and thought, "Yeah, that'll happen."

If Peoria really wants to become the premier medical provider in the State (think Med Tech District), this legislation might help things along. At least it would put sleazy and greedy attorneys on notice that they aren't likely to find an overly generous jury here.

Have a nice weekend.

Somebody (Bill Dennis) is cranky and needs a nap!

Bill Dennis doesn't like my critique of Barbara Van Auken's speech justifying her vote to buy the water company. If I was a true intellectual/journalist I would spew a bunch of First Amendment crap Dennis' way. I could spend a lot of time and energy justifying why I'm right and he and Barbara are wrong. I could regurgitate numbers and formulas. I could remind Dennis that a lot of the folks that he likes, admires and endorsed in the last election voted against buying the water company last night. I could accuse him of being too tight with Gary Sandberg and having a huge crush on Barbara Van Auken. I could remind Bill that Barbara is a grown up, not to mention one tough cookie, and most likely doesn't give a rat's ass about my oratory critiques. Fortunately, I'm just an armchair critic/blogger and I like Bill Dennis. A lot. I also like Barbara Van Auken. A lot. I just hated her speech. A lot. So, I'm going to forgive Bill for chastising me on his Peoria Pundit Blog (still can't get the blogspot link thingy to work) and chalk up his petty comments regarding my petty comments to the fact that he stayed up very, very late last night covering the Council proceedings and is a bit testy.

Oh, and Bill,

One more thing... NAH, NAH, NAH, NAH, NAH!!! YOU LOST!!! WE WON!!! SUCKS TO BE YOU!!!

All my love, Polly

Best Reality T.V. Show: Peoria City Council

Wow. City Council was fascinating tonight. The entire five and half hours of it. I'm not being sarcastic. I was informed, enlightened, impressed, and entertained. Seriously, there should be Academy Awards for a few of tonight's performances. My picks:

Winner, "Biggest Surprise" Category:
The Golden Toilet goes to.... Bill Spears.
Council voted NOT to proceed with due diligence to buy the water company. The biggest surprise, to me, was that Fourth District Councilman Bill Spears voted against continuing due diligence. I thought he was cozy with the idea of the purchase, especially after Third District Councilman Manning did further digging into the numbers.

Winner, "What the Hell?!" Category:
The Golden Toilet goes to.... Bill Spears
Maybe I was suffering from a stroke, but did Bill Spears actually say that the possible continuous non depreciating revenue stream was NOT a good reason to buy the water company?! Huh?! WTF?

Winner, "Best Speech" Category:
The Golden Toilet goes to....George Jacob
As Bill Dennis says, Jacob has been quiet as a lamb. He wooed the chambers tonight with an articulate and thoughtful speech where he stated that if Peoria City Council purchased the water company, Peoria would immediately be over 400 million dollars in debt. No matter how profitable the water company might be, gasps could be heard when he stated that nifty sum. You can talk revenue stream all night long (and they did) but Jacob was the only councilmember who talked debt. This vote shows Jacob's true colors. We can be fairly comfy that he isn't a Chamber lackey and that he will indeed be looking to keep his At Large seat in '07.

Winner, "No Surprises Here" Category:
The Golden Toilet goes to... Patrick Nichting
He was against government buying a private company all along. He wouldn't have voted to buy Illinois American if the cost was fifty cents. Nichting always votes against new or higher taxes. (But votes for free parking garages for doctors.) Tonight he also voted down a new revenue stream. Nichting's views on the water company might be more personal than representative of his constituents. After all, where do all those PAAG, Peoria Area Chamber of Commerce members, and developers live? Nichting went against a lot of his friends and campaign contributors. We knew he would, but it was nice to see nonetheless.

Winner, "Most Patronizing" Category:
The Golden Toilet goes to.... Barbara Van Auken
Van Auken's water speech tonight was painful. I cringed with embarrassment for her. It was BAD. Really, really, really bad. She repeated her campaign pledge of "listen, learn, and lead" and then went on to say that listening to her constituents didn't necessary mean that she was going to abide by (82%) them. Her definition of "leadership" apparently. Van Auken was convinced by Manning's numbers. I respect that. They turned my head too. Barbara needed to stop talking to the public like they were still in nursery school and stick to which numbers/projections convinced her.

Winner, "Best Actor in a Comedy"
The Golden Toilet goes to... Mayor Ardis
Despite the length of the meeting, the guy was "on" tonight. Little quips and humorous one liners kept people from hurting one another. My favorite line was when a member of the public went to the podium to speak at the wrong time. Ardis corrected the poor gentleman, saying "Sorry, your comments will have to wait until it is time for 'Citizens to Address the Council' which should be in, oh, another three, four hours."

Winner, "Please, Oh Please, Shut the F--- Up" Category:
The Golden Toilet goes to.... Gary Sandberg
I love him, but he couldn't let anything go and repeated himself over and over and over and over and over... Tonight's session would have been three hours instead of over five if Gary could take a loss (water company buy out) or a win (Warehouse District Rescission) on the chin. The shocker here is that Gary took this category instead of Morris.

Winner, "First to begin a 2007 City Council Campaign"
The Golden Toilet goes to.... Eric Turner
He couldn't be Mayor, but he sure in the hell doesn't want to lose his At Large schtick. Turner told us that personally he was for buying the water company, but couldn't ignore the voters. He meant the advisory referendum, but not really.

Winner, "Consistently Stupid" Category
The Golden Dunce Cap goes to.... Clyde Gulley
Did anyone else stay awake long enough to listen to Clyde's ramblings regarding the Warehouse District? Why Sandberg felt the need to reply to Clyde's idiocy is beyond me. The rescission passed with only Gulley voting "nay." I need to do more research on this one, but it appears that the City has had two years to get its' crap together and develop a "Design Review Board" so that the relaxed codes of the mixed use Warehouse District doesn't turn into the seventh circle of hell where companies and residents try to co-exist without any parking. (If you've been to Chi-town you know what I'm talking about.) Ignoring both the Zoning and Heart of Peoria Commissions recommendations, Council voted to rescind the District until Planning Director Pat Landis could get around to doing her job and construct a Design Review and Standard Boards.

Winner, "Woke Up and Smelled the Coffee - Finally!" Category
The Golden Toilet goes to... John Morris
First of all, did anyone else notice that John Boy didn't shave today? He appears to be attempting to grow a goatee. No, I'm not kidding. Anyway, Morris has seen the light. He won't be headed for congress anytime soon and will have to work hard to keep his seat in the next large election. Therefore, John Boy went against his Chamber buddies and voted against the water buy out. I'm telling you, if LaHood had decided to run for Gov, Morris' vote would have been different.

Winner, "Wordier and Weirder than Ever" Category
The Golden Toilet goes to... Chuck Grayeb
You had to be there. Sorry.

Winner, "Sleaziest Lawyer" Category
The Golden Toilet goes to... Jack Teplitz
His controversial and apparently exclusive neighborhood association (These folks charge $50.00 for a place at the table!) didn't get to retain their brethren on the Med Tech Commission, and he tried to draw blood by accusing the new mayor of trying to dismantle Med Tech. Mayor Ardis kindly explained his appointment choice, thanked the dismissed Dr. Tim Vega for his service and then the entire council voted to support Ardis' choice. Steam was seen spewing from Teplitz's ears. You gotta feel a little bad for Jack. He had to go home to Marcella.

Winner, "Best Councilman" Category
The BIG Golden Toilet goes to... Bob Manning
It became clear that this newbie worked his ass off trying to keep a possible purchase alive. Even those who vehemently disagreed (moi) were impressed. He had done his research and came prepared. He didn't change the vote, but he did change minds. Manning's support of a purchase was gutsy. Had he been successful he might have been committing political suicide. Take comfort Bob. You didn't get your way, but you won the crowd and you'll be able to keep your job. Could be a lot worse. Manning's -hopefully sarcastic- closing comments regarding the failed buy out were priceless. (Thanks to Dave Dahl who got it word for word.) "I do want to applaud some of my colleagues for finding financial prudence in establishing a new standard for committing future city dollars: it must be self sustaining, there can be no uncertainties, and no risk. I'll look forward to working with you on maintaining these standards in the future."

Ouch.

We the People and the Water Company

Few things annoy me more than folks who are decidedly un-political. As far I'm concerned, lazy Americans who shrug off their civic responsibility to be informed enough to form an opinion and exercise their right to vote should lose their citizenship status.

I go ballistic When I hear someone say, "Why bother voting? Politicians are all a bunch of crooks." If they are all a bunch of crooks, all the more reason to get off your lard butt and vote in some new blood. How does someone get so cynical? How does an adult come to feel that their right to vote - which people DIED for - should be abandoned at the curb with yesterday's trash? This is America! We ARE the government! Didn't these people have to take a civic course in high school?

There are crooks in government, no doubt. Nixon to George Ryan, there is power in politics and hence it will always be attractive to the corrupt and evil among us. There is power in politics and hence it will always be attractive to the best, brightest, and idealistic among us - those who want to make a difference for the better. We have a duty to sort out between the two types and elect and dismiss accordingly.

The worst thing government can do is not heed the will of voters. Even if government is right and has better information and knows more than the average voter, it is wrong to go against the will of the People. Voters are not children to be sheltered from their own mistakes. Politicians are charged with exercising the voters' will, not their own. When elected officials go against the will of the people - even when they are sure it is in the people's best interest - they breed a population of more disgusted, distrustful, and disheartened would-be voters. What is the point of voting if no one is going to abide the final tally? This is how banana republics are built.

A lot of new information has surfaced regarding the water company. It looks like a buy out might be profitable. Moreover, Illinois American will be asking for a rate hike after promising it wouldn't do so for three more years. Maybe Illinois American is gouging consumers. Or, maybe Illinois American Water Company LIKES the idea of a $220 million buyout. It is too late to have another referendum on the possible purchase.

The Peoria City budget is very tight. We need new revenue. Desperate for it in fact. That said, it would be better to raise taxes later than have voters distrust our new City Council for all time.

When in doubt, listen to your constituents.

Missed me! Missed me! Now you gotta kiss me!

What an odd week it has been.

An Al Qaida wanna be terrorist group, with really bad aim, launched several missiles at U.S. amphibious assault ships. They missed, hit Israel instead, and killed one Palestinian.

Jews are pulling out of the Gaza strip. The Israeli Army, after boot kicking fellow countrymen from their previously State sponsored homes, are mowing down the vacated structures at Palestine request. (See Rachel? CAT machines destroy Jewish homes too.) Gaza has a 60% unemployment rate, but apparently Palestine has the bucks to build brand spanking new homes that haven't been exposed to Israeli cooties. The news footage from Gaza this week has been heart wrenching, but it is the first tangible progress in a LONG time. Would it be too much to ask that peace talks resume?

The mother of a soldier killed serving in Iraq is protesting the war by sitting on a lawn chair outside President Bush's Crawford, Texas ranch. The media flocks to the scene like it's an actual story. The lady isn't even on a hunger strike. Meanwhile, back at her place, an embarrassed husband files for divorce.

Blago's order to pharmacists requiring them to fill birth control prescriptions is about to become law. Yup. The law states that those pharmacies that carry birth control and the "morning after pill" must dispense it. Er, okay. So a pro-life pharmacist who doesn't believe women should be having fruitless sex simply won't carry birth control in their inventory? Works for me. And how is this such a big change from before? Small, individually owned pro-life pharmacies won't carry the offending drugs. Pro-life pharmacists working for big chains will say, "Sorry, all out." Nonetheless, look for this faux Blago victory to be touted in upcoming re-election ads. Puke.

Because his constituents"begged" LaHood won't be running for Gov after all. Well, only if you define "begged" as constituents not contributing money to his campaign. I admit, I admire LaHood's ability to turn lemons into lemonade. Personally, I define "lemonade" as the ability to spew total bullshit with a straight face.

I don't know about you, but I'm ready for the weekend.

Maybe school IS the problem...

I've been giving thought to District 150's truancy problem and started wondering, "Why don't kids WANT to go to school?" I loved college but hated everything that came before. College was great because you got to study subjects you were interested in, especially after getting all the general education requirements out of the way. Professors were truly interested in their fields and were interested in what their students had to contribute.

If I had to sum up my elementary, junior high and high school experience with one word it would be BORING. I spent a great deal of my time looking at the clock, counting off the minutes until it was time to bolt out of my chair to go home and... Read. That's right. Read. My parents didn't allow us kids to watch T.V. We didn't even own one until I was in the third grade, when a horrified uncle bought us one.

So, I don't expect education to be entertainment. I don't think it should attempt to mirror Disney World. I do think schools have largely become inefficient bureaucracies with meaningless rules on top of rules, filled with unhappy, bored educators and administrators biding their time until retirement and even unhappier bored students biding their time until graduation.

Of course, there are exceptions. There are teachers who love kids and truly enjoy their work. In my high school, these teachers could be found teaching the best and brightest -and obviously college bound- students, those taking advanced placement classes. However, if you were an average kid, on the mainstream track, you were treated more or less like a nuisance.

Maybe we shouldn't just be looking at increasing teacher pay, increasing truancy fines, decreasing class size and studying economic factors that keep some kids out of class. Maybe we should be looking at the class itself. Would you be looking forward to going to work every day if you were treated like the enemy? What if you were a social outcast? What if you were subjected to the same lectures over and over and had to endure a curriculum that never advanced? What if you were written off as "average" and no one ever bothered to reevaluate your potential as you matured?

Perhaps it is time to make sure that we are providing an education to kids and not just warehousing them until parents get home from work. Perhaps a policy of "Tough Love" and "Like or Lump It" isn't working. We are talking about kids after all. Education should be intrinsically rewarding. School shouldn't feel like prison. Learning something new, accomplishment, and conquering something that you didn't think you were capable of is one of life's greatest joys. Why are so many of our kids missing out?

I don't know who said the following, but I think it deserves a lot of thought... If children don't learn the way we teach, we must teach the way they learn.

Run! Ray! Run!

Today is the big day. Ray LaHood will inform us if he will seek the Gov's job. Kinda hope he does. Sorta think he won't. The slate is already full and he doesn't seem to be the Party favorite. If Edgar doesn't run, I think the Republicans will get behind Judy Barr Topinka. Topinka was the only Republican voters allowed to stay in office in the election following the George Ryan scandal.

Local politicians Morris, Nichting, and Leitch wait LaHood's decision with baited breath.

I wonder if LaHood might announce his retirement instead? I think he has grown tired of congress and wants to spend more time traveling (to France) with his family. I think Ray might be chomping at the bit to make some real money in the private sector as a (nuke energy) consultant. Puke.

Silly Willy Nilly is a Dirty Old Bastard

The name of Willy's blog keeps changing. Is he trying to clue us on his identity? Silly AND a Dirty Old Bastard? Hmm? Gary Sandberg perhaps?

Clyde Gulley, Please Report for a Piss Test

Council members should have to take drug tests. Seriously, I want to know if Clyde Gulley is smoking something. It would be the only reasonable excuse for his asinine comments regarding the truancy plan District 150 and the City want to implement.

Gulley said that he hopes Peoria Police will not be using tasers, chains, dogs or unreasonable force to get kids back into the classroom. Peoria Police rarely uses deadly force when called for, and Clyde thinks they may bring out chains for the brat playing hooky from Algebra? Are you freaking kidding me?

Clyde believes kids from his neighborhood who are truant fail to attend school because they don't have lights, water, food, or soap. Huh? This kid is so poor that his home could be condemned and instead of intervening and trying to help, we should just ignore him until he winds up dead of starvation, dehydration, drug overdose, or a failed robbery attempt?

Poverty stricken families can't afford food and lights, so how in the hell will they pay the expensive truancy fine? Here's a thought. Don't pay it. Get your kid's butt to school. Working two jobs and can't control or force Junior to do anything? Call the police or the District so that Junior can make a choice between school and jail. Moreover, the Truancy Plan calls for kids who can't pay the fine to serve the community on the weekends (10 to 2) by washing police cars or picking up litter. Brilliant.

I've been poor and it really, really, SUCKS. Poverty simply isn't a viable excuse for missing school, and no one should be able to plead "Poverty" when punishment is justified, regardless of the crime. Could you imagine a defendant saying to a Judge, "Um, well, yeah, Your Honor, I was drunk out of my skull when I mowed down that entire family with my car. But, see, I'm POOR and miserable, and that forced me to drink. If you send me to jail then my family will be even poorer, and so, could you cut me some slack?"

Nope.

My sincere gratitude to Council Members Van Auken and Grayeb who called Gulley along with Eric Turner and NAACP President Don Jackson on their racist card crap.

Holy Mother of God! You must act now! Time is running out! These prices will never be seen again! No reasonable offer refused! No credit check!

My father is the cheapest man alive. He never picks up the check. When my mother leaves a tip for a waitress at a restaurant, he waits until her back is turned and then steals it. The only way my mom could ever get consent to make a major purchase - say a lamp - was to wear him down. She wouldn't stop talking about the lamp. She would find a way, no matter how inappropriate, to insert it into every conversation. "Your best friend died today? That's sad. You know George would have loved the lamp I want. He always was a great fan of good lighting." Pictures of the lamp would appear wrapped in a napkin with Dad's sliverware at the dinner table. His eyes would take in the lamp first thing upon waking in the morning as a picture of the lamp would be taped to the alarm clock. A picture of the lamp would be posted on the bathroom door so Dad could ponder it while using the toilet. Eventually Mom would always win. "Damn it Donna, buy the thing already. I just don't want to hear about it any more." The strategy was annoying as hell but fool proof.

Apparently this is City Council's strategy regarding the possible purchase of the water company. Citizens overwhelming voted not to buy it, but council continues to investigate it. We have heard our rates will go up, but now Third District Councilman Bob Manning - CPA and auditor extraordinare - has taken another look at the books. He sees something no one else has seen before (despite a VERY expensive investigation process). Our rates might go down! No matter what it will profitable! But we must act NOW before interest rates go up and the deadline passes! Starting to sound like one of those obnoxious used car commericals, eh? I get so sick of hearing stupid announcers yelling at me on t.v. and radio that I would be willing to buy a lemon if I never had to endure another one.

The residents of Denver, Colorado will soon be paying an eight percent increase on their water bills. Why? Because they have been dutifully CONSERVING water. Frankly, I didn't see it on my last visit, Denverites water their sidewalks. I think Colorado has simply recieved Illinois' share of rain. The City of Denver owns the water company and is dependent on it as a source of revenue. So, if residents don't use enough water,although they are required by law to conserve it, the City is screwed. If Denver's water company was privately owned the City could just say "Sorry Suckers. No rate hike for you. Tell your investors too bad so sad." However, since Denver needs the revenue, residents will be punished for being evironmentally responsible.

So, about Peoria's possible purchase of the water company... BUY THE DAMN THING ALREADY!!! I just don't want to hear about it anymore.