Yup. We have some crappy bridges of our own.

Today CNN reported that it would cost $461 billion to make all of the nation's bridges structurally sound. Sounds like an impossible sum of money unless you believe the often quoted dollar cost of the Iraq War- a mere $1 billion per day. So, if we just commit to minding our own business and not pissing off the rest of the world for a mere two years, we will not only have "won" the war on terrorism but we can stop holding our breath every time we cross the Illinois River. It would seem Peoria County has a few problematic bridges of its own. It maybe awhile before I visit Bartonville again...

D = deficient

O = obsolete

Bridges are rated and given scores between 1 and 100. 1 is really, really, really bad and 100 is stellar. (Apparently we have no stellar bridges here in Peoria, but take heart. Chicago has a few that were given a score of 2.)

To see the full report, go here.

Status:DRating:16.0 Road: 74 Place:BARTONVILLE County: PEORIA Feature: KICKAPOO CREEK Location:.5 MI E OF MCKINLEY

Status:ORating:93.5Road:74 Place:CONGERVILLE County:PEORIA Feature:CONGERVILLE ROAD Location:3.85 MI E OF ILL 117

Status:O Rating:78.3 Road:74 Place:PEORIA County:PEORIA Feature:UP RR (175624A Location:.25 MI W OF PEORIA

Status:O Rating:66.2 Road:74 Place: PEORIA County:PEORIA Feature:UP RR (175624A) Location: .25 MI W PEORIA

Status:D Rating:67.2 Road: 24 Place:PEORIA County:PEORIA Feature: BN & CNW RR Location: W CL OF PEORIA

Status: D Rating:71.8 Road:317 Place:PEORIA County:PEORIA Feature:WAR MEMORIAL DR Location: US 150 INTERCHANGE

Status:O Rating:81.9 Road:317 Place:PEORIA County: PEORIA Feature/Location: I-74 US 150 INTERCHANGE

Status:O Rating:88.0 Road: 474 Place: PEORIA County: PEORIA Feature:KICKAPOO CR & RR TKS Location: .25 MI S OF US 24

Status:D Rating:40.9 Road: 6595 Place:PEORIA County: PEORIA Feature/Location:DRY RUN CREEK N OF RICHMOND ST

Status:O Rating:57.2 Road: 6593 Place:PEORIA County:PEORIA Feature/Location:R B GARRETT AVE SBI 8 OVER FIFTH AVE

Status:D Rating:39.4 Road:29 Place: PEORIA Feature: IL RIVER TRIBUTARY Location: .1 MI S MOSSVILLE RD

Status:D Rating: 77.2 Road:6578 Place:PEORIA Feature:UP RR & KICKAPOO CR SW EDGE PEORIA CL

Status:D Rating: 44.4 Road: 6659 Place: PEORIA Location: KICKAPOO CR SBI 8 AND CH 77

Status:D Rating: 54.2 Road: 74 County: PEORIA Feature:KICKAPOO CR TRIB Location:0.2MI W KOERNER RD

Philip Anderson, Peoria Heights Newest Loon

Geeze. Finally, mercifully, we dispose of Matt Hale into the dank jail cell where he belongs, only to have a pathetic wannabe spring up. While doing yardwork, I discovered the July 4th edition of the Peoria Times-Observer, "North Peoria's Newsweekly." I receive this paper sporadically. My guess is that my house isn't always considered "North" enough to deem delivery. Too bad, because I enjoy reading Dewayne Bartels' articles. Hey, Dewayne, your fine paper lacks a decent website. The Observer is delivered to most regardless of whether or not the recipient is a paid subscriber, so why not carry the weekly editions on line as well?

I digress. In last Wednesday's edition, Dewayne introduced Peoria's newest certifiable wack job, Philip Anderson. Anderson is the Illinois Leader of some odd Nazi organization, "The American National Socialist Worker's Party." Quite a title, one which gives Americans, Socialists and anyone who works for a living a bad name.

Bartels is a reporter. A good reporter goes straight to the source. Bartels went to Anderson's home to request an interview. The response? Predictable. The moron threatened Bartels, his wife, children and grandchildren online, going so far as to post addresses and contact information, essentially inviting those as stupid as Anderson -but hopefully more violent- to cause injury or harm upon Bartels and/or his family. You see, Anderson doesn't have the chutzpah to respond to a request for an interview. So he asked a national nut job and Nazi mentor to respond for him, via Bill White's blog, Overthrow88.blogspot.com.

Overthrow88.blogspot.com is a prime example of why anyone wanting to own a gun should have to submit to an I.Q. test. Bill White is an example of yet another bitter moron with a tremendous chip on his shoulder. This guy blames the quest for racial equality for all that has gone awry in his pathetic excuse of a life. Anderson and White. In this case, likes attract.

White and his blog are laughable, or would be, except for the fact that in the past such publications have inspired violent wack jobs to maim people or worse.

Dewayne, my sympathies to you and your family. No one deserves this.

How To Tell When A Public Official is Lying

Okay, yes, when their lips are moving. Specifically, when you read in your morning paper, "Officials said last month that the tax credit program is 'going well' without providing details," chances are excellent that your wallet has already been picked.

Peoria will have a museum, damn it, whether citizens are willing to pay for it or not. Don't want it, don't need it, won't use it, can't pay for it? Don't worry your pretty little head about it. That's just what taxes are for!

Museum pushers have been forced to temporarily fore go their demands for a reflecting pool and a planetarium that appears to be suspended in mid-air. Puhleeze, are they aiming for a museum or a second grader's science fair entry? Polly's prediction is that we will end up with some ugly monstrosity that looks appalling similar to the original plans, but due to unforeseen circumstances, a.k.a., lack of public interest and funds, runs over budget and will require a tax disguised as a garbage-gum-wrapper-and-snow-removal-library-book-cover-eyebrow-waxes-for-underprivileged-toddlers-fee.

They call it, "Plans for Museum Square" I call it, "Trailer Park at Night."

Just Another Day In Paradise

Otherwise known as Peoria. The temperature is perfect, not too hot, not too cold. Apparently we paid our dues last winter. Have you checked out the sunsets the last couple of days? Wow! Hawaii doesn't have it any better. Believe it or not, no homicides this week.

So, the question is...

WHY IN HECK ARE YOU INSIDE READING THIS SILLY BLOG?!
This is where I'm eating dinner tonight. After all, Coney dogs have no fat or calories in paradise. Afterwards, I'm getting a vanilla cone dipped in chocolate. Ice cream has calcium. Come on down, I'm buying! We can all gaze across the street at the new Starbucks and the lovely strip mall, er, I mean "neighborhood center" that Bob Manning built. I take back all negative comments I made, back when homes were bought and demolished and more than a few neighbors were ticked. Polly predicted vacancies and blight on the neighborhood. Polly was wrong. The Neighborhood Center/Strip Mwall is the swankest thing the East Bluff has seen in ages. Even more amazing, the City didn't have to bribe anyone with a TIF!!!

Even When I Don't Know What I'm Talking About...

I know what I'm talking about. I don't flatter myself that Jennifer Davis or Terri Bibo got the idea for today's front page article from my silly little post, but I am pleased to see the museum boondoggle come under fire.

Billy posts a rather cute picture of pigs at the trough, but I feel a bit more harsh. Checkout Big Yellow. My, she just gets bigger and greedier by the profitable quarter, doesn't she?

I have nothing against CAT wanting a feather to put in its cap, but I just think it should pay for its own feather. Asking employees and tax payers to pay for a CAT visitor's center is in poor taste, to say the least.

Hey, CAT! There are some companies that pay for educational museums which don't pay homage to the products they sell. Imagine that!

Try This One At Work Tomorrow

I dare you. Go into work tomorrow and inform your boss that you will only showing up to the office twice a month.

After that, inform him or her that s/he will have to limit all criticisms, critiques, concerns to five minutes or less and only after s/he gives apt notice and fills in a card.

See if that doesn't get your ass fired.

Maybe the Peoria City Council doesn't realize who they work for.

I realize most members of the Council have day jobs, but they knew the workload and schedule before running. Cutting Council Meetings to twice a month makes local government less accessible, which is unforgivable. Accessibility has been City Council's best attribute. Unless subpoenaed to testify before a Senate Committee, it's pretty damn difficult for an average Joe to get the floor and the undivided attention of their elected officials. I know that Council meetings often run long. I know some citizens are poorly informed and are horrid public speakers. Then again, so are some council members. Citizens (a.k.a. employers) have the right to grandstand if they want to. Public servants (a.k.a. employees) don't.

My guess? Someone's day job (travel schedule) and/or wife, is making Council duties difficult.

There's No Point In Posting....

Because I can't come close to this. The newbies haven't been around long enough be judged, but I like most members of the Peoria City Council. I do believe we are in better hands than we were Ran$burg Era.

There are some issues that could be handled, should be handled, and we were promised that they would be handled. We still have the stupid, unfair, garbage tax. Do businesses pay the garbage tax? Nope. Do they reap the benefits? Yep. Remember, the garbage fee has nothing to do with Waste Management, or, for that matter, garbage. It is a bogus fee/double tax (check out your property tax bill - you already pay a garbage fee) devised to fill holes in the City's budget. Many campaigned on the unfairness of this issue, but none have done anything to get rid of it.

Station 11 is a dead horse beaten beyond death. Or it would be, if it wasn't a life or death issue. Frankly, I'm sick of harping about it. Anyone should be able to see that taking vital rescue equipment out of service and disbursing the paltry few pieces left throughout the City is just stupid. When the disaster occurs we have only ourselves (and our elected officials) to blame. Grownups know that blame never brings anyone back from the dead.

Hey, Caterpillar! How is that Peoria Museum employee matching campaign coming along? Take the hint. Your employees don't give a rat's ass about a museum praising Big Yellow, the Illinois River, or the 1974 Manual High Debate Team. You want a visitor's center? Well, shut up, dip into some of your record profits, and build one already. Stop trying to present your very profitable corporation as a worthwhile charity. No one is biting.

Blah, blah, blah. There's more, but only the Anti-Pundit (aka Emtromics) still has his humor intact. Hat tip.

Gary Sandberg: Suave. Rico. Really?

Monday's Word on the Street column reported that Gary Sandberg is not speaking to the Journal Star these days because of an article written shortly before the election that criticized his appearance. If true, I got to say, I'm shocked. Since when does Gary care about his appearance, what people think of it, and especially what the Journal Star thinks about Gary, or his appearance or, for that matter, what the Journal Star -especially the editorial staff- thinks about anything?! This is Sandberg after all, a man who once told me he doesn't have any mirrors in his house. This is Sandberg, who can count on both the JP Star not endorsing him and the voters overwhelming voting him in first.

Gary is a bachelor. To me, he strikes me as the type who really doesn't give a rats ass about appearance because there are far more interesting things in the world (Harleys!) to think about and issues to address (Crime, Fire Station 11, taxes, recycling) than which side his hair should be parted on, or the alpha hydroxy content of his facial moisturizer. He doesn't have a wife pleading that he not go out in public without a shave, wearing plaid with polka dots, or with spinach in his teeth. Say what you will about him, one would not think to call Gary Sandberg vain. Thankfully, Gary is not a pretty boy politician with the poor sense to pay $400 bucks for a haircut. Now Gary would gladly allow his head to be shaved, by an ex-wife no less, in order to raise money to benefit a cancer patient, and has. Gary is a man's man. He doesn't care about his looks unless there's a special occasion that demands it. You know, a job interview, a friend's wedding, hot date, a campaign photo.

Or so I thought. How Gary's feelings could be hurt by what anyone says about his appearance, let alone the Journal Star, is dumbfounding. Now that I think about it, this isn't the first time Sandberg has refused comment to the Journal Star because it made a jab about his looks. Years ago the Journal Star ran a crummy photo of Gary in a bright orange sweater that, at first glance, looked like a jailhouse jumpsuit. Gary didn't speak to any Journal Star reporter for a loooooong time after that one.

Sandberg's sensitivity is not just odd, but also inappropriate. Part of one's job as a Councilperson is to maintain a dialect with the public, and the press is one means of doing so. In fact, the press is the primary means of doing so. By denying comment to a newspaper with the widest circulation (even if said newspaper's lack of professionalism and honesty leaves a lot to be desired) Sandberg is denying his view and thought process to many voters who hired him.

More troubling is Gary's lack of trust in the readers/voters who returned him to office- again, and again, and again. Gary, buddy, we know Mike Bailey and Company are going to make fun and unduly criticize you whenever the opportunity presents itself. We know who's corner the PJ Star is in. We know where their bread is buttered. We know where they dine, or would like to anyway- (Peoria Country Club). Frankly, we know the editorial bozos at the PJ Star can't be trusted and so we figure, in part, the less they like you and the more mean and petty they are, well, the better job you must be doing.


From the April 9th Journal Star:

You know it's election time when....

Gary Sandberg gets a haircut and dons a bow tie. We've been through a number of elections with the senior member of the Peoria City Council, and have come to note the sometimes stark differences between Campaign Gary and Regular Gary, partly evidenced in these two photos.

Both Garys are knowledgeable. Campaign Gary can be quite charming out on the stump, which history suggests has had an appeal to local voters. Unfortunately, soon as the votes are counted, he has always metamorphosed back into Regular Gary, with a tendency to be considerably less charming around the horseshoe, particularly to those who don't quite see the world his way.

We prefer Campaign Gary. Sorry, couldn't resist the comparison.

Oh yeah? Well, I like Campaign Gary, but I adore Regular Gary. The Gary who says it as he sees it without any of the excessive softening adjectives that campaigning requires. I like the Regular Humorous Gary who brought a sleeping bag to Council the night they voted on whether or not to buy the water company, knowing they might debate the issue all night. I like the Regular Gary who lined his desk with a collection of firework debris after troubling July 4th celebrations in his neighborhood. I like the considerate Regular Gary who brought the Mayor a cupcake on his birthday. I even like the Regular Gary who gets angry- really, really angry when he believes his colleagues are not acting in the citizens best interests. I like the Regular Gary who does his homework and cares about constituents.

I don't agree with everything Sandberg says, does, or how he votes. I simply realize that the world has way too many politicians who always look their absolute best while their performance is the absolute worst. How refreshing -and lucky- Peoria is to have a public servant who albeit may forget to shave, can be counted on to show up educated, informed, and well prepared to serve the public.

Mr. Pot, Allow Me to Introduce You to Mr. Kettle

Like most, I think Jimmy Carter is a good man, but he was an AWFUL president. An opinion shared by the just about the entire nation at the time. I can't recall a more humiliating defeat than the Carter vs. Regan election. I'm not a huge fan of President Bush, but Carter has no right to throw stones.

Anyone remember the energy crisis? Waiting in line for gas? Double digit unemployment rates? Inflation that wouldn't stop? As far as crappy foreign policy goes, how about the Iranian Hostage Crisis?! Could that have been handled any worse? Anyone else remember the bungled rescued attempt? Remember the bodies of deceased American military personnel torn and burned by maniacs in Tehran? The 444 days of agonizing hell when America sat on its hands and did nothing while her citizens suffered abroad?

No doubt this administration has its flaws. Big time. However, Carter criticizing Bush is akin to George Ryan calling Blago a liar.

Meet Michael Little

This is the thug-loser-low-life-piece-of-scum-smelly-feces-rotting-on-the-sole-of society's-shoe-too-stupid-to-blow/pick-his-own-nose who assaulted Third District Councilman Bob Manning after his car was struck by a child on a bicycle. Manning, responsible and a gentleman to the core, stopped, offered aide, called the police on his cell phone, and attempted to explain to Little that he wasn't out cruising trying to hit kids darting out on bikes from behind parked cars. Little didn't want to strain his allegedly small brain in order to comprehend the situation. Little also didn't want to help or comfort the child. Instead, Little slugged Manning in the face, fracturing his eye socket in several places. Having made a contribution, Little then took off with his allegedly tiny, tiny, tail between his legs.

We should forgive Little. Little isn't just his last name. It is who he is. Word in the 'hood is that Little not only has abnormally small genitals but has an even smaller brain. This would give just about any man a big chip on his shoulder. When police caught up with Little, (which didn't take very long or effort as the stupid are easy to find) they found an open bottle of booze in his car and and a revoked license in his otherwise empty wallet. Little's excuse for assaulting Manning? He thought Manning was going to flee. If broken bones and surgery were not involved, Little's excuse would be pretty damn funny. The only person who fled was Little himself. Let us pray that States Attorney Catch and Release Kevin Lyons attempts to put this dangerous twit -with a history of violence- behind bars for more than a day or two. I know... I know... don't hold your breath.

Bob, I hope that cute baby blue heals quickly and that this awful episode doesn't put a damper in your desire to help the Third District and Peoria. Obviously, we need you.

Separated at Birth???

Gary Sandberg

and...



Fred Sanford?!?!?

Okay, the mess at Sanford's, er, I mean, Sandberg's place occurred years ago. The junk couldn't be seen from the street. There were clearly renovations under way. (Check out the scaffolding!) Nonetheless, that mess is/was inexcusable. I don't believe all that crap was due to renovations and even if true, a dumpster should have been used, or, if that wasn't possible, the rubble should have been disposed regularly, in a timely fashion, and not been allowed to build up to that degree.

Gary, pay the $110 fine, you... you... you...

YOU BIG DUMMY!!!


Hat tip to and (most pics pilfered from) Peoria Pundit.

Golly! Polly sure is flattered!

Guess what Billy said about little ole me? Yup. I am River City's most mysterious blogger. That does it, I'm never coming out.

Flattery will get you everywhere Billy. Oh, get your mind out the gutter. What I mean is I'm not going to give you a big heaping helping of crap for playing with your thingy yet again. Actually, I admit, the latest format of Peoria Pundits is lovely. Like it a lot.

I'm worried about Bill because he is "twittering" these days. Didn't know about twitter until NPR enlightened me today. We can now get constant updates as to everything Bill is doing, every minute of the day. Well, as much as he cares to share. And you thought blogging was scary/risky. Twittering threatens to be the ultimate sledgehammer levied at the already crumbling wall of manners and privacy left in America. Twitter all about Council if you want, Bill, but for God sakes don't fall into the trap of feeling you are duty bound to inform us as to what you are planning to consume for lunch, or if you are regular these days.

What the hell is Gary Sandberg thinking? Why would he allow his property to have a junk heap very worthy of a ticket? Anyone remember when Clyde had these problems a few years back? Hey! Gary! You are supposed to be a LEADER. That means, in part, that you should be someone that normal citizens would want to live next to. Your property should be damn near ideal, which means it should not have a the beginnings of a landfill in the side yard. Sandberg should put a "Sanford and Sons" sign on the front of his place if he plans to turn his place into a junk yard. I love Gary, I do. But on this one he is dead wrong. Pay the fine, clean up the rubble, and don't disgrace yourself and/or those of us who voted for you in the future. Jeeze, what is with politicians these days? Well, at least we can rest easy that we won't find Gary paying for a $400 haircut any time soon.

Bill, I would have invited you back for a pillow fight and Chinese food, but no decent Chinese restaurant delivers in Peoria and you picked a rather hideous pic of Scarlett to post. Okay, her bust is looking perky, but what the hell is going on with the hair? Bad. Really Bad. Looks like she cut it with something rusty from Sandberg's pathetic pile of waste.

Whether You Know It Or Not, There's a Huge Blogger Bash Tomorrow...

Tomorrow is a big day at City Hall. The new kids get sworn in and the old get the boot. We say good bye and to Grayeb and (finally!) Morris. I think Morris is a good guy, I don't agree with most of his votes, but I don't think he is Satan either. However, somewhere along the long the line someone told John he was a good public speaker. He isn't. It has been painful.

Anyone want to place bets on how LOOONG Morris' goodbye speech will be? How about how many adjectives Grayeb will fit into his fine farewell? I'll miss Grayeb. I guess I've agreed with his votes about 50% of the time. His speeches were also a bit long winded, but they tended to have more thought behind them. Grayeb's speeches always included the added benefit of having a new word or two added to my vocabulary. I bet Grayeb had some kick ass scores on the verbal section of the SATs.

Who will Gary harass now that John-John is gone? Anyone know the new seating chart? I always wanted to put a hidden mic by Sandberg and Morris. These guys sparred more than anyone during Council debates, they would seem to have very little in common. In fact there were a few occasions I thought for sure Gary would blow and take a swing at John. Nope. Rather, in between votes these two chat and laugh like school girls. What are they talking about?!

I'm going to the swearing in ceremony because afterwards they have free food. Last time they had chocolate covered strawberries. Our tax dollars (I presume) hard at work!

Will the Wonders Ever Cease?

I like to read Leonard Pitt's columns to remind myself why I remain a registered Republican. Ah, but what a wonderful breath of fresh air when the liberals start making sense and embrace conservatism better than any of the proclaimed conservatives.

In regard to the Imus "Nappy Headed Ho" comment/firing-

"...Imus was undone not by government censors, but by market forces. The moral of this story, then, is not that free speech is under siege."

This and it's 80 something degrees in Peoria?! Life is good again.

At Last, Election Results That Don't Make Me Want To Puke.

I didn't think it possible. I haven't been spouting off (much) about the elections because I had all but given up hope that registered voters would show up, use commonsense, and vote accordingly.

Peoria's libraries are pathetic. An embarrassment. Peoria claims that it wants to attract residents and businesses grounded in a knowledge economy. That is, our fair city is looking to attract intellectuals. More than free city wide wi-fi or a swank civic center with a five star hotel attached, or a silly Podunk museum housing some trophy from the 1974 boys high school debate championship, intellectuals value modern libraries with up to date facilities. Libraries are not frivolous aromatherapy outlets. They are valuable public institutions which strive to inform and educate the electorate. God bless voters for willing to invest their dime for something so worthwhile. My advice before building. Take a look at the Libraries in Evanston and Oak Park outside Chicago. A half hour in either building will convince the biggest skeptic how valuable an exceptional library can be to a community. I love hanging out at the Evanston's library whenever I happen to be in town. Each time I'm in town I'm amazed that one establishment consistently hosts all different types of people, from opposite socioeconomic spheres and age brackets, so well. Seniors reading the paper, high school students doing research, moms and babes in for story hour, yuppies on their lunch break reading the Wall Street Journal. It's a intellectual and productive community center. The main library in downtown Peoria is depressing as hell. You can get whatever you need, but it isn't much fun to hang out there. Lakeview Library has more of a community feel, but it is too small for the amount of people who use it. Resources are too few for the many that require them. Getting a computer at Lakeview is a challenge prefaced by a significant wait time. Kids can't enjoy a story hour without disturbing others who are working on the other side of the facility. It's time to pay and update. Libraries are one of the few things I'm willing to plunk down a few more tax dollars for.

Smoking is bad. We all know it. Your rights end where the other guy's begin. It is impossible to smoke in a public place and not jepordize someone else's health. Smoking is not a constitutionally protected act. Bar and restaurant owners don't refund money when a good meal or drink is ruined by a stinky cigarette. Moreover, the Health Department regulates and fines restaurants and bars for any violation which could jepordize the health of customers. Smoking certainly qualifies.

Gary Sandberg, George Jacob, and Eric Turner retained their seats on the City Council. Chuck Grayeb and -even better- JOHN MORRIS ARE GONE!!! GONE!!! GONE!!! Gale Thetford failed miserably at her attempt to replace him. Anyone think she took the hint thistime?

I was saddened to see Alicia Butler lose her seat on the School Board. I thought she had, for the most part, been an effective Board President. I didn't like the very stupid, very expensive, District 150 "apple" billboards purchased a few years back. I thought Butler did an admirable job at attempting to correct and involve the public after the initial Glen Oak Park School proposal/fiasco. The relevation that Butler apparently failed to earn the two diplomas she claimed dumbfounded me. I have had several conversations with Butler. I've listened to her at School Board meetings. Butler is very intelligent and could have earned two or more degrees from Bradley -or Harvard- for that matter.

Why she felt the need to lie -twice- is beyond me. I would have bought an "I thought I was a graduate" excuse if she had only lied about her undergraduate degree. My alma mater told me they would not provide me with a diploma unless and until I paid numerous parking tickets they claimed I had acquired. I was never blessed with a car during college (and I dispise you if you were) making parking tickets an impossibilty. I protested. They didn't care. I didn't pay and went to Europe instead of graduation. I framed my transcripts instead. A college degree isn't a requirement to serve on the School Board. Peorians respect commonsense and a tight wallet more than a piece of paper. Why would any Peorian lie about graduating from Bradley, twice?! That is, if you're gonna lie, make it a NON local school. Why not the Sorbonne? Cambridge? Oxford? London School of Economics? Hell, even U of I would have been a better choice. You know, a school whose Director of Alumni of Affairs and Registar don't live across the street. Do not say you graduated from a school where a third of the town was likely to have attended your supposed graduation. I was saddened by the voters decision to fire Butler, but I understand it.

On the whole it was a good night. I have hope. People who want what is best for their community and not just their names on as many plaques as possible before dying are running -and winning- for local government. Refreshing, eh?

Meet Rutger's Women's Basketball Team...

Before last week I didn't know who Imus was. I don't care for talk radio. Too many egos that are even bigger than mine. Rather listen to tunes. I didn't find Imus' comment racist as much as it was sexist. I'm Caucasian and I've referred to my own hair as nappy at times. To me, "nappy" refers to hair that is frizzy, tangled, knotted, etc. Women of all races have been called whores, justified or not, since Eve left the Garden of Eden.

My guess is that Imus was dismayed by women who were too busy playing basketball to concern themselves with being beautiful for the duration of the game. Imus, on the other hand, is both nappy and really ugly ALL THE TIME. He might be a "Ho" too, but I don't know enough about him to judge.

Another Day In America. Another McMassacre.

Saddened? Yes. Very. Shocked? No. Not really.

I apologize in advance if this post strikes anyone as unfeeling or calloused. That isn't my intent. Please forgive me. The shooting/execution of so many little innocent girls in an Amish schoolhouse was the final straw. After that, and the lack of action that followed, I am no longer shocked by mass shootings committed by previously law abiding mentally ill individuals. If little Amish girls aren't safe from society's gun toting sickos, then of course students at Virgina Tech -and everywhere else- are subject to the same fate.

Are your kids safe at Charter Oak? Kellar? Mark Bills? Lindberg? Richwoods? I mention these schools because they strike me as socioeconomically similar to Columbine. No. Of course not. Our children are at risk at any American school, residence, or institution, public or private. Your spouse could be mowed down at his/her place of employment by numerous bitter, angry, present or former employees. I understand that Caterpillar has more than a few that qualify.

Our is a free and open society. Our society is fast paced. Our society is one with high expectations. Most Americans feel entitled to a certain standard of living (one that is much higher than 99% of the world's nations), along with good affordable health care, cheap gas, and a girlfriend. We are also wound tight but have yet to find a way to identify, educate, let alone treat those who can't keep up and deal with disappointment and envy. We have, however, found a way (and will continue to, dammit) to allow each and every last bitter-lonely-jealous-chip-on-the-shoulder-disaffected-violent-obsessed-may-or-may-not-be-hearing-voices American citizen/or anyone one with a green card to legally arm themselves to the teeth.

Considering America's absolute devotion to the right to bear arms regardless of the consequences or cost, it strikes me as weird that there isn't a single normal citizen -or five- with a legally obtained firearm at the ready to take one of these crazies out when they crack and decide to spray the world with bullets. Nope. Not in California, or Colorado, or Virgina. Remember Luby's Cafeteria shooting in 1991? In retrospect, it is astonishing that there wasn't one legally armed citizen in Killeen, Texas that could put down his/her Jello in order to return fire. Nope. Not one sane NRA card carrying gun toting member among the 24 dead.

The first mass shooting that I can personally recall was in 1984 at a McDonald's in San Diego/San Ysidro. Odd that we have had so many of these tragedies that no one even mentions any more. Since Monday's McMassacre, I've read that the Luby's tragedy was the worst shooting, but I thought the San Ysidro shooting had more fatalities. I've found conflicting reports/body totals on the web. Yup. McMassacres are so commonplace in this country that we can't keep a correct tally/record of which one deserves the title of most horrific.

These days a pissed off employee going on a shooting spree barely warrants a paragraph in the newspaper. We've had so many school shootings that no one feigns surprise when they hear of another one. In fact, we are to the point that we now congratulate ourselves that there are no whiny cries for gun control following a McMassacre.

Is there anything more pathetic than a society that routinely allows the slaughter of their young? Have no doubt. Shootings are routine. Proof positive? We all know it can happen again. Deep down, we all know it will. We simply pray it won't be at our kid's school, or at our workplace. Not at our shopping mall. Or post office. Or lawyer's office. Or restaurant. Even churches in America have been scarred by McMassacres. If this makes you want to stay home, reconsider. You are more likely to be shot by the nut you married within the pleasant Pottery Barned confines of your own home.

Please, God, don't let any of the numerous bitter and insane folk I cross paths with each and every day or those I happen to be related to have a gun. Or, at least, since it is likely that s/he will have access to a gun with rapid fire ability, please don't give them good aim. The only protection we can offer is to advise taking Jesus as your savior. Gosh, I sure hope Christianity got it right. At this rate, it is likely that many among us will need to collect on that eternal life clause long before we are old and gray.

Due to the frequency at which these shootings occur, now the only way to get our attention is with numerous fatalities. Running through an airport to by-pass security garners more attention than the average shooting. Oh, yes. There is most certainly such a thing as an "average" shooting. Unless it involves the Amish or perhaps a convent, most Americans will only recall those shootings where the dead and critically wounded number in the double digits, and only those that occur in the last decade.

Shut down an airport? There's an inconvenience for you. Want to get our attention? Do something that cancels flights and causes traffic jams. It really pisses me off when I'm late for my Pilate's class. Shootings? Well, like obesity and drunk driving, shootings are just another one of America's pesky flaws. It's a sad routine. We ain't perfect, but we are free (except when ducking gun fire).

32 dead at one of America's finer institutions of higher learning. Professors and students with a lot of hard work behind them and so many bright futures ahead of them gone in an instant. Yet, we continue to learn nothing.

Yet Another Reason To Remain Anonymous

She really was pretty and fresh once. Sort of looks like Reese Witherspoon. Sad ending to a sad life.

I swore I wouldn't blog about her, but someone must speak up against this gross injustice. No, not secret prisions abroad. Anna Nicole Smith's autopsy is available for public viewing. I never realized that one's body after death had absolutely no right to privacy. Smith's family need not worry about grave robbers. What would be the motive? Every sick curiosity is readily answered and available on-line. Anna's tattoos are well described, as is the pus on her buttocks ("green and creamy"), the fact that her anus was "unremarkable" (thank goodness), and her vagina had a typical amount of wrinkling (HUH?!). What a relief to know one part of Anna's poor, abused body remained injection and silicone free. Actually, it isn't any of my freakin' business and a rather horrible invasion/perversion of privacy.

Why not have the Coroner publicly state the official cause of death only? Perhaps there is a justification to release the toxicology report. Non pertinent details should be sealed. Does the public have any real need to know, exactly, the length and depth of scarring involved with repeated breast augmentation? (Anna's left nipple did not fare as well as her right.)

Perhaps the greatest invasion of privacy? This pathetic woman's WEIGHT (178 pounds) was also reported. Those were the horrified gasps of my eight female readers you just heard. Wrinkled genitalia and unremarkable orifices, that's bad enough... but publishing her weight?! Unforgivable! Anna Nicole Smith will never be able to rest in peace now. BTW, Slim Fast, not TrimSpa, was found by Smith's bedside. There's a craptastic last meal for you.

I wonder if there are any more interesting autopsy reports available on line. River Phoenix? Colbain? JFK? Elvis? Wonder what parts of their bodies were "unremarkable" or suffered the normal amount of wrinkling. I could be up all night.

Polly wishes to be cremated immediately following her death, thanks.

Oh Goodie Gumdrops!!!

Peoria's latest folly is ready for tours. Kind of. I'm leaving now to be the first in line. Not.

Lets Demolish The School Board Instead

I almost, but not quite, feel badly for the District 150 School Board. They keep on having to pay penalties for one really bad mistake over and over again. The Board failed to inform the public before going forward with their plans to erect a school in Glen Oak Park. Polly is part of an itty bitty minority who thinks a school in that decaying locale was a good idea, but I recoginize The Board's decision to act on the sly and not even attempt to get the public's blessing was stupid, arrogant, and unforgivable.

As usual, it isn't the players who pay, but the tax payers. The proposed school is a dead deal, at least at that locale. So what to do with the $877,500 worth of property The Board purchased and can't use? Pay fines of course! Better yet, spend a lot more money they don't have and tear the sucker down! One of the now vacant homes owned by District 150 has code violations. The house needs a new roof and the garage needs new paint.

The School Board still hasn't learned its lesson. Apparently they hold out hope that they will get their school just the way they want it, where they want it... in the park. How can we tell? Instead of making the necessary repairs and selling off the properties, it appears that The Board is going to pay for demolition instead.

What's that cliche again? Something like, "Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. AND THOSE THAT LEAD NEVER FRIGGIN' LEARN"

Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers?

So, if you come across $700 cash in -say- a public restroom on your lunch hour, are you obligated to turn it in or attempt to find the owner? What if you actually watch the person forget to pick up their wad of cash before exiting? Certainly the classy, most honest thing to do would be to turn it in, or try to find the owner, or remind the absentminded doof to take his/her money. However, the question is: Are you legally obligated to do so?

In this case it wasn't $700 cash, but a $700 voucher left behind in a slot machine at a casino. The voucher was discovered by an off duty cop, who apparently decided that it was his lucky day and turned in the voucher as his own for cash.

The original winner came back to the slot machine and alerted casino employees that someone had taken his voucher. Employees took the time and trouble to look at security video and confronted the cop. The Cop admitted no wrong doing, but did pay the original winner $700.

So, did the Cop do anything wrong? Clearly, he wasn't as upstanding a citizen as he could of been, but did he steal? I don't think so. It may be reasonable to expect police to behave as model citizens, in which case maybe they shouldn't be in a casino in the first place, but finding something isn't the same as stealing. Especially since the voucher, unlike a piece of jewelry for example, had no identifying markers to prove who owned it.

I don't think the Cop did anything illegal, so why is he on administrative leave? For not being a hero? The guy was at at casino, not church. Luciano's language, that the cop "took" another gamblers winnings, is harsh, especially when considering impressive nature of this particular cop's record.

Ask yourself honestly, in a casino environment, where everyone is trying to win something for nothing, what would you do?

Did You Vote YET?!

This is the face that brought you the garbage tax, endangered lives by cutting Fire Station 11, and rarely saw a tax she didn't like. Voters in Third District got sick of her, and overwhelming voted to toss Thetford to the curb a couple of years ago. Gale Thetford wants her job back, Gawd help us.

If you havent voted, get off your butt and get to the polls. You have two hours. If you choose to stay at home in your warm barcolounger and watch a re-run of Seinfeld, it will be all your fault when our taxes go up, the garbage fee sky rockets, your backyard is taken over by trains, trail, and a trolley, City Council meetings run past midnight and we have to endure painful, long winded speeches again, all starting with, "UHM..."

Council is on the right track. Things are better since Ran$burg and his klan were bootkicked to the curb. Yes, we all wish politicans would move at a faster pace and accomplish what they promised when they campaigned for the job. That said...

For heavensakes, lets not let the greedy slime back in just cause we're cold, tired, and a bit lazy.

Your Future Is Here. Required Reading For All Peorians. The Wall Street Journal: Global Trade Galvanizes Caterpillar

As promised, here is the whole article. I hope my thirteen readers appreciate this. I couldn't find this on the net, and my scanner doesn't work well on newsprint so Polly has to type this whole interview. I type, like, four words a minute, so blame all typos on greedy WSJ publishers who don't like to share.

Global Trade Galvanizes Caterpillar
Maker of Heavy Equipment Thrives Under CEO Owens, Fervent Free-Trade Advocate
From The Wall Street Journal, Marketplace Section, Page B1
Monday, February 26, 2007

Written By: Ilan Brat and Bryan Gruley (NOT POLLY)

Since becoming Chairman and chief executive of Caterpillar Inc. three years ago, Jim Owens has seen the Peoria, Ill., maker of heavy equipment nearly double in size-to $41.5 billion in revenue last year- as it rode a global boon in construction and mining.

The growth had its pains, as Caterpillar struggled with production bottlenecks, lengthy delivery times and capacity-expansion missteps that occasionally disappointed Wall Street. Now Mr. Owens, 61 years old, says he is more concerned with fattening the company's bottom line by making manufacturing more efficient, slimming dealer inventories and continuing to press for free trade.

The Ph.D. from North Carolina State University, who joined Caterpillar 30 years ago as an economist, oversees a global behemoth of 278 factories and 94,000 employees. In Naples, Fla., attending a recent meeting of the Business Council, Mr. Owens discussed world class manufacturing, free trade, Sen. Barack Obama, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke and the NCAA basketball tournament.

Excerpts:

WSJ: Caterpillar just announced a $7.5 billion share buyback. Why?

Mr. Owens: Sitting on a big wad of cash doesn't make any sense whatsoever for shareholders. It also tends to promote bad practice among management. Almost all good companies make their worst mistakes in the best of times. That's when you get into overreaching. You've got more [cash] than you know what to do with, and you think you're so damned good you can buy anything and make it better.

WSJ: How is it that Cat added nearly $20 billion in revenue in the last three years?

Mr. Owens: We've done it on the strength of the global economy. In 1998 through 2002, we experienced a prolonged recession in our key markets. In the 2004-through 2006 period, the global economy experienced its best three years of growth since World War II. That drove strong commodity price, and the combination of [those and] the strong economy led to a significant increase in investment for natural-resource development and global infrastructure. When this surge in demand started in 2004, we were well-positioned in terms of market leadership and some excess capacity to realize significant organic growth in a very short period of time.

WSJ: Looks like you're going to easily hit your goal of $50 billion plus in annual revenue by 2010. Is it time to set the bar higher?

Mr. Owens: What we're really about in this near term is just a relentless focus on execution. We're very focused on introducing a Caterpillar production system that's universal across all of our manufacturing operations world-wide. We've had a propensity to do things at least slightly differently all over the world. We've bench marked many different industries and then our own best-in-class facilities and created our own recipe book. Whether our top-line sales are $45 billion or $60 billion is going to be a lot less important than pulling off that operational excellence. The Holy Grail is not top line sales growth; it's bottom line [profit] growth.

WSJ: Are you concerned about the new political climate for the trade in Washington?

Mr. Owens: I have been very worried about a turn inward, a feeling that we can sustain our standard of living by building walls around the country and blocking trade. That would just be a grievous mistake, bad for the United States and bad for the global economy. I've been traveling in Asia for 26 years, and I've seen hundreds of millions of people lifted out of abject poverty from the benefit of exporting to the United States.

I would say the Republicans made a terrible mistake in partisanizing trade. It needs to be a bipartisan, national policy to be a free-trading country. It's easy to bash [free trade], because if somebody loses a job, you can personalize it. The fact tens of thousands are benefiting by buying very high-quality, very low-price goods imported from China is one of the great realities of the American standard of living.

WSJ: What about the Democrats?

Mr. Owens: I'm encouraged that Democrats who as a party were bashing trade now have more thoughtful people stepping forward to say this shouldn't be about partisanship. Barack Obama is a senator from our state, and I've had the chance to talk to him about it. I quite frankly was very disappointed he voted against [the Central America Free Trade Agreement]. How can you not want free trade with countries that have done most of the things we'd like them to do in terms of democratizing their countries? [But] he seems to be a guy who can move off of extreme partisan positions and try to find win-win positions. We need to win him over.

WSJ: How do you make the argument that free trade is a win-win situation to someone who fears his $75,000-a-year job will be outsourced to China?

Mr. Owens: It's a very difficult sell. It's like the guy who's making horse carriages when the car comes along. How do you make the case to him that the car's going to make the world a better place? We try to educate our employees on the importance of exports to us. We exported $10 billion worth of product last year, and many jobs in our U.S. facilities are very much geared to export markets. Many small manufacturing companies that supply materials to us probably don't consider themselves as exporters, but they are. If we don't export, we don't buy from them. So they lose jobs.

WSJ: Will Caterpillar's U.S. work force shrink as it expands abroad?

Mr. Owens: We're going to have a lot more employment growth outside than inside the US. We [Americans] are 5% of the world's population. And today, we're more than 20% of global gross domestic product. So it shouldn't shock Americans or even worry us too much that 10 or 15 years from now we're going to have a smaller percentage of GDP because our country's not growing as fast as emerging countries. It doesn't mean that our standard of living's going to go down. It just means that theirs is going to grow much faster.

WSJ: What's the best country to do business in?

Mr. Owens: Brazil in some respects is challenging, but we've got one of the best operations we have in the world due to the leadership we have in that facility and the espirit de corps. I was in China recently, and I heard people there say they wanted to be the Brazil of Asia.

Some of our large Midwestern facilities have kind of a challenge of mixed allegiance to the company or the union, a we/theyism that we haven't successfully urged. We're trying to have people understand that if we pay you, you're on our team and we want your heart and soul, we want you to help us be cost-effective, we want want you to help us improve quality.

WSJ: What was the buzz at Business Council?

Mr. Owns: The buzz is always about the economy. The key issue right now is do we see some easing of interest rates over maybe the latter half of the year and re acceleration of the U.S. economy and a soft landing here that creates a soft landing in the global economy? Or do we end up tightening again and having slow growth become slower growth or recession in 2008? We've got to drive some liquidity. I'm certainly feeling that inflation is a minimal risk, and I worry that we may overcorrect.

WSJ: What does Ben Bernanke do?

Mr. Owens: I think he's gong to sit on pat hand for a while. I think we're going to see inflation be very well-behaved, and I expect he'll be in a position to be comfortable easing interest rates in the latter half of the year.

WSJ: Did executive compensation come up at the Business Council?

Mr. Owens: It's amazing how much more time boards are spending looking at proxy statements and compensation write-ups and dotting i's and crossing t's. How does this help us compete in the global marketplace? For CEOs, if you make over $1 million, that's "excessive pay." If you participate in financial services or in sports, that's OK.

WSJ: You're a big college-hoops fan. Who's going to win the NCAA basketball tournament?

Mr. Owens: If I had to pick one team and put money on the table right now, I'd pick Florida.

Graphic:

Five tips for Managing a Global Giant

1. Act with integrity, value your people.

2. Complacency is incompatible with success.

3. Stay focused on bottom-line growth.

4. Don't shy away from tough debates.

5. Embrace globalization.

Oh. Well. When You Put It That Way....

You just have to read the excellent, straight forward, and fascinating interview with Caterpillar CEO, Jim Owens in today's Wall Street Journal. Owens provides a lot of insight on where the company is headed. He is a strong proponent of globalization, and makes no apologies for outsourcing.

One such tidbit:

WSJ: How do you make the argument that free trade is a win-win situation to someone who fears his $75,000 a year job will be outsourced to China?

Mr. Owens: It's a very difficult sell. It's like the guy who's making horse carriages when the car comes along. How do you make the case to him that the car's going to make the world a better place? We try to educate our employees on the importance of exports to us. We exported $10 billion worth of product last year, and many jobs in our U.S. facilities are very much geared to export markets. Many small manufacturing companies that supply materials to us probably don't consider themselves as exporters, but they are. If we don't export, we don't buy from them. So they lose jobs.

And then there's this:

WSJ: Will Caterpillar's U.S. work force shrink as it expands abroad?

Mr. Owens: We're going to have a lot more employment growth outside than inside the US. We [Americans] are 5% of the world's population. And today, we're more than 20% of global gross domestic product. So it shouldn't shock Americans or even worry us too much that 10 or 15 years from now we're going to have a smaller percentage of GDP because our country's not growing as fast as emerging countries. It doesn't mean that our standard of living's going to go down. It just means that theirs is going to grow much faster.

The entire article is worth reading. In fact, for anyone who's future is CAT dependent (i.e., Employed by CAT, anyone who owns property in Peoria, or who's job is dependent on CAT doing surviving and thriving- and in this town, who's job isn't?) it should be mandatory reading.

I'm not sure the link I provided will allow you to read the entire article. Greedy dorkwads at the Wall Street Journal only provide a teaser paragraph and then want you to subscribe. I will try to type the whole thing up later tonight. Nothing good on T.V. anyway. Meanwhile, I suggest you prepare for the future by learning Spanish. Brazil, according to Owens, is the best country to do business in right now.

Yummy Oscar Goodness

Actually, I didn't watch the Oscars because, frankly, I couldn't care less. If I have a lot of laundry to fold and Law and Order is a repeat, I might tune in to see the dresses. Polly does have a thing for fancy gowns, but never has an occasion to wear one. Sometimes I wish our town was just a little less casual. I would never dream of asking for a tax subisdized venue to justify my purchase of a designer garment. However, after a long winter of long underwear, lumpy/itchy wool fisherman sweaters, and frozen snow boots, a little glamour would be much appreciated.

I couldn't find any pictures of my fantasy lover boy, Russell Crowe, at last night's award show. However, I did find this lovely image.



Sigh. Rich, gorgeous, a genius, a gladiator, and a sexy Aussie accent. What more can a girl ask for?

So Help Me Gawd....

I completed my tax return over the weekend. Despite my pathetic salary, no refund this year. So help me Gawd, if any of my tax dollars are used for yet another useless yet wildly expensive TIF to subsidize luxuries for Peoria Civic Center-hoity-toity-pigs-at-the-trough, I will personally punish each and every council member who votes pro TIF by dumping a stinky bucket of slops on their front lawn. You want stay at the Ritz? Fine. Hell, I'd like to stay at the Ritz at least once before I die. Just don't expect tax payers to subsidize your spa day and thousand thread count sheets. What next? A TIF for city wide aromatherapy treatments?

When are these people going to learn that continually throwing good money after bad at a failed project/policy will not redeem it?

Any City Council candidate who hems and haws, ducks, bobs, weaves, dodges, or worse- states, "we need to study this further" on this issue should be boot kicked off the ballot. Period.



Hoity-Toity-Peria-Civic-Center-TIF-Pig enjoying a relaxing tax payer subsidized mud bath at the proposed downtown Hotel and Day Spa.

The Power of the Post

Two big, fat, huge, bow-from-the-waist-all-the-way-to-the-toes hat tips to bloggers C.J. Summers The Peoria Chronicle and the "pseudo anonymous blogger" (I really don't know who you are btw) at Peoria Illinoisan.

This time around the issue d'jour for the At Large City Council elections is the "Kellar Rail or Trail?" controversy. Have no doubt, many running wouldn't have a clue about this issue were it not for C.J. harping and educating the community about the costs and detriments that could occur should a rail line become a bike path. Previously, Polly was all in favor of the bike path simply because I live close to the rail line and don't see trains use it very often. I drive over the train tracks on Knoxville close to Junction City every day. In the last five years, I think I've been held up by a train crossing the tracks there maybe twice. As luck would have it, one time I was on my way to Proctor Hospital for stitches, but that is another story. However, C.J.'s insightful and well researched posts on the topic have me thinking twice. I chuckled when I heard that the proposed trail could be used for cross country skiing. Sure, it could, but this winter so could most sidewalks and unplowed city streets. The cross country skiing suggestion warrants the most obvious of questions: How profitable could another trail be for the community when it is freezing cold in this town at least six months a year? We have the Rock Island bike trail, which I when weather allows I can personally testify, it is well used. However, how much money does it actually bring in? I like to bike the trail during the spring and summer months, but to be honest, I've never stopped anywhere to buy anything. There have been times when I have run out of water and would have liked to purchase another bottle, but there isn't any place to do so for most of my eleven mile ride. Kellar Trail proponents say this trail will be different, but other than Junction City, does any retail outlet currently exist?

Peoria Illinoisan gets a hefty salute for thinking out of the humble blogger box and asking City Council candidates to participate in his issues quiz. Damn. I wish I would have thought of that! PI's quiz was more insightful than anything I've seen in the PJ Star. Polly's advice of the day: Be wary of candidates who state, "That issue has been put to bed by the current City Council, Park Board, etc." in lieu of providing a real answer. As we've seen with Fire Station 11 and the Garbage Tax, hot button issues don't die. Rather, they continually resurface and bite us all in the collective ass/pocketbook.

C.J. and P.I., you inspire and motivate me.

Hey! Clifford Ray! Good News!

Master Dahl,

Sounds like they're working hard for you! I say a prayer for you every day, Buddy. Tell your dad that we really miss his blog, and we want an update as to how you, your little brother, and Mommy are doing. Stay strong.

Love,

Aunty Polly

New, important, and hopeful research in the battle against Batten Disease.
Check it out! And then, if possible, write a check. I didn't know anything about Batten's Disease until a year or two ago. In Pollyterms, (and I'm not an expert by any means) I describe Batten's as similar to Alzheimer's, except that it strikes little kids- resulting in seizures, memory loss, blindness, paralysis, and eventually- death. Most kids don't survive past the teen years.

I think one of the most frustrating things about this heartless killer is that experts (real ones, not the Polly kind) agree that a cure is within reach. However, since Batten's is considered a "rare disease" funding is lacking. Rare diseases are not rare. Chances are quite good that you or yours will confront one. Maybe it is about time that Americans demand that government dole out research dollars differently.

Ain't We Got Fun?!

See Vonster, Polly is not a mushy, liberal, hairy leg pacifist. Stories like this one make my day! I'm sure this kick ass senior citizen didn't enjoy killing a thug while defending himself and friends. The guy might not be in the mood to celebrate, but I'd like to buy him a drink and pin a medal to his chest anyway. Kudos to this whole group of senior citizen tourists who took on a group of thugs, won, and then proceeded with their Carnaval Cruise vacation. Kudos to officials in San Jose who didn't hold up the Senior-Citizen-Kick-Ass-American-Tourists and got them back to the ship before it set sail.

Okay, the guy pictured here is not the kickass senior citizen mentioned in the article. That guy was only 70. This dude is 84! Forget buying a gun, Polly just needs an older (buff) man!

Polly for President

Stop laughing. It could happen. Having my own blog for a couple of years is as much of a qualification for the Presidency as running a crappy baseball team. More, really, because my blog proves that I am at least somewhat literate. Like Bush didn't buy and snort his way through Yale. Chill out Vonster, everyone knows Gore did the same thing at Haaaavard.

Anyway, I'm throwing my hat in the ring. Or at least seriously considering it. That is, I've begun an Exploratory Committee to investigate the possibility. Which means that I may accept donations for my campaign, which may or may not ever happen. As with most Exploratory Committees, my committee and I will decide whether or not I am capable of being a worthy contender based on whether or not I receive enough donations during this period of exploration. (Anyone remember Elizabeth Dole?)

Frankly, I think I should just go beg City Council and demand to be designated a TIF district. After consuming all that eggnog over the holidays my arse is certainly large enough to be designated a district, why shouldn't it be tax free? At a minimum, Council could declare it an Enterprise Zone. Er, my ass as an Enterprise Zone? Doesn't sound nice. At all. So scratch that. I'll stick with the TIF. After all, everyone knows that the best way to get an unnecessary, undeserved tax break for an unsuccessful project is to beg local City Government.

I promise, Polly's ass is significantly smaller than David Joseph's.

And the award for the most yard signs goes to.....

George Jacob who is attempting to keep his gifted At-Large seat on the City Council. Damn. His signs are everywhere. I think they are breeding. I'm seeing them in my sleep.

I admit, I'm a Jacob fan. I gave George a very hard time at first. I think Polly (subconsciously, of course) dreamed Ardis would pick ME for the post. I still have some hang ups with allowing those with liquor licenses to serve on City Council. I don't think George, specifically, would abuse the power, but someone else will.

Despite the very powerful strings that were pulled in order to give him the post, George seems like an honest and humble guy. He abstains from voting on any liquor requests that come before the Council. However, his posting opens the door for more liquor license holders to hold City Council seats, which is inevitable and problematic. What if there are four, five, six or more such Council members? They would all have to abstain from voting on liquor licenses which is quite a few votes. Moreover, council members retain influence regarding liquor licenses regardless of whether or not they abstain from voting. (i.e., "You vote for my bar owner buddy, and I will vote for extra funding for more police patrols in your District.) As it is, a liquor license vote could be held up by a tie with just one council member abstaining.

That aside, I really like George Jacob. I was pessimistic that a rich guy from very North Peoria would get his hands dirty with those of less economic means. Wrong. "Curious George" -as dubbed by Molly Parker and Jennifer Davis- shows up at meetings well prepared, doesn't make long winded speeches only to glorify himself, and has gone above and beyond by spending time in the East Bluff needling (my word) the police to be more aggressive with the criminal\slumlord\renter-from-hell elements that are ruining a formerly nice neighborhood and could be again with a little TLC.

George's use of so many yard signs is perplexing. I know politicians shouldn't take anything for granted, but a beer distributor has many friends, even if he isn't as likeable as Jacob. Moreover, Jacob is cozy with Peoria Firefighters/election workers extraordinaire. If Jacob can't make it through the run off, I will be dumbfounded.

Jacob's campaign colors- reddishbrownish and white is strangely familiar. Weren't those Thetford's colors in the last Council election? Problematic for Gale. My theory as to why she is running... to get rid of the leftover\plethora\fire hazard of yard signs overflowing from her basement from her last failed election.

Yo! Willy!

Da Bears are going to the Super Bowl. I don't care. Please stop talking about it. What, all the sudden Peoria loves Chicago? As if our town has something to do with this "miracle." Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them and all -well, I would be- if I cared. For me to get really excited, I have to see how this was going to be a financial boon to our fair State. It seems to me that the dollars will mostly fall in Miami, where the game will be played. Why is the hallmark football game of the year being played in the tropics anyway? It's football, not some prissy cricket match. How teams deal with crummy weather is part of the sport. They should play the game in Chicago, Denver, or Buffalo.

I'm sure Peoria had a big impact the great presidential hopeful Barak Obama as well. Seeing an outline of Illinois projected on the national news sure does a lot to swell the pride of some Peorians. Whatever makes you happy.

Today's Word On the Street caught my eye. The last couple of paragraphs anyway. I'm not sure why someone from our region throwing a fundraiser favoring Edwards over Obama is column worthy. However, Aaron Schock's relationship with Junction City owner Alexis Khazzam is interesting. Aaron received $26K from Khazzam in his later days of campaigning. Now Khazzam has employed Schock. Something about Schock doing something for Khazzam by heading up Project Springboard! The project will encourage Bradley students/grads to compete for start up funds for their very own Peoria business. Uh, okay. Sounds like someone has been watching too many Apprentice re-runs. I'm sure Alexis Khazzam is aware of our brand spanking new taxpayer funded business incubator being built within spitting distance of Aaron's office. The whole thing is probably legit, but odd. We will have to wait for Aaron to file a tax return in order to see how much this alliance/job pays. To be fair, the State Rep gig doesn't pay much. Neither did the School Board stint. Most successful pols are independently wealthy. Maybe Aaron is trying to shore up his personal bank accounts in order to move on to bigger and better offices? Aaron, I love ya, but you really need to write a cheesy book with a cheesy subtitle if you ever want to be president.

Speaking of Aaron Schock, WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO WILLY NILLY?! I'd think you'd be all over this. I miss you, Buddy. Time to shake off the post Ray Lahood re-election blues and get back to blogging. Jeeze. Your team took the House and the Senate. The White House is yours to lose. Isn't that better than just getting Ray Dingleberry bootkicked out of office? The election gods had to do something to keep you humble.

Hell. Tony Robbins Style.

I hate temps. Actually, I don't hate them, a lot of temps are brighter and harder working than some of the slobs employed here. Rather, I hate when the big boss loses his "real" secretary for any amount of time, because the temp dutifully lets all calls through, including dorkwads attempting to motivate us workerbees to be, "Simply the Best." Ah, the world of motivational speaking. What Corporate America does when desperate to calm shareholders. "Yes, profits weren't what we expected, what we promised, but don't worry. We hired those top notch Voo Doo Priests at Six Sigma to turn our organization into a lean, mean, profit churning machine. All is well, no need to sell."

This year Six Sigma's call didn't get through. A little disappointing, because I did enjoy watching our organization's head honcho run onto stage swathed in white pajamas and black belt and doing fake Karate kicks. Almost had a stroke repressing my laughter.

No Six Sigma this year, but some other emperor without clothes will undoubtedly throw motivator words such as "synergy" "leadership" and "goals" our way. Yes, we'll learn that only discontent will motivate us past our pre-conceived limitations. We discover that we must "name it to claim it." Self talk. I can all but promise the phrase "Self Talk" will be used repeatedly. If my self talk is negative, so will my results. My mentoring will be negative, and thus I will be a negative leader and our corporate culture will be poisoned and our bottom line will suffer. What do you want to bet that Enron held these type of seminars every week? Part of the pain of these sessions is watching first timers. They want to be positive team players, so they get sucked into this cult like atmosphere. Deprogramming could take up to a year to complete. After a year of plastering on a fake smile, and responding with a hearty "FANTASTIC!" when asked simply, "How are you?" First timers realize that yelling "FANTASTIC! did not further their careers, relationships, or provide winning lottery numbers.

Why not just hand out The Little Engine that Could to every employee at the company Christmas party? It would save the Company (and investors) money. Damn. I hope that doesn't count as bad self talk. I will spend two working days at a pump up pep rally run by people who have no clue as to what we do (Here's a hint you pseudo psycho wannabes: WE'RE A CHARITY! WE DON'T HAVE INVESTORS. WE HAVE CONTRIBUTORS. WE DON'T MAKE MONEY, WE BEG FOR IT!) What peeves me even more is that my workload will still have to be completed by me -Peons don't get a temp- on time, which means my evenings will be spent at the office. I'm salaried, which means no overtime. Grrrr. There goes that negative self talk again. I know, if I can believe it, I can achieve it. I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, I don't give a rat's ass if people like me.

Go ahead. Laugh at my pain. I can admit my life is a bad SNL skit. Take comfort knowing CAT recently sent an employee to address City Council regarding the possibilty of teaming together in the event of another major snow storm. This employee was a Six Sigma black belt no less. Yup. We are so screwed.



Voo Doo Priest Tony Robbins awakened the giant within in 2000 and got divorced, then quickly married a blonde he met at one of his seminars.

Misery Chic

So many celebrities doing good deeds these days. I hope that's what it is. I don't mean to be cynical. I can't help it. Seems to me that it is much, much, much easier to adopt a child from a war torn, famine plague region of the world, and then turn said kid over to a nanny to raise. You look good and don't have to get your hands dirty. There will still be time to get another tattoo, collagen lip implants and hubby can keep his the appointment for more blonde highlights. Really want to impress the world with a charitable act? Buy a manse in Katrina ravaged New Orleans! Yes, you and yours won't be denied a single comfort, BUT, you will have a front row seat viewing the misery of others.

Don't get me wrong. I am humbled by those who put themselves in harms way with a passion to end the pain and suffering of others.

What's So Funny About Peace and Love and Understanding?

He was about equal rights, civil rights, yes. But he was just as adamant about attaining his goals through non-violent means. To use violence in order to reach "The Dream" wasn't The Dream at all, but defeat.

Bush, Cheney, and every gangbanger out there should have to complete a course- call it, "King 101" as a part of rehabilitation, incarceration, impeachment, or whatever.

Oh Well. I Wasn't Using My Civil liberties Anyway.

How special. On Martin Luther King Day no less.

From today's New York Times:

Vice President Dick Cheney defended efforts by the Pentagon and the C.I.A. to obtain financial records of Americans suspected of terrorism or espionage, calling the practice a "perfectly legitimate activity" used partly to protect troops on military bases.

Huh. Wonder if I can expect the CIA to go over my tax return with a fine tooth comb because I'm seriously considering leaving the Republican Party. I'd be willing to wager that Bush has killed more people than abortion of late.

So... Billy, Barbara, and Clyde- can you make room for one more?

We Are Making Enemies Faster Than We Can Kill Them.

Which is the main problem Bush seems to be overlooking. Hunting down terrorists, potential terrorists, wanna-be-terrorists, (and folks who happen to have the poor fortune of living next door to any of the aforementioned)"over there" before they have the opportunity to find their way "over here" must be the stupidest foreign policy of all time. We've pissed off so many people at this point that the U.S. would have to use nukes for this to work, and that isn't likely since we don't want to contract thyroid cancer when we harvest the oil.

Terror hunting has given governments carte blanche to do as they like, when they like. No one blinks when the U.S. bombs suspected terrorists in Somalia now? Not confirmed terrorists, mind you, suspected terrorists. Although the U.S. may or may not have killed terrorists, one thing is certain. Both sides agree that confirmed -not suspected- civilians were hit.

Huh. China killed some of its own last week too. Of course, the Chinese government is known for this. Their official excuse this time? "They were terrorists."

Of course they were.